Island Magic

by Michelle Garren Flye

  “We never meant to hurt you.” Angel’s face turned red. “I don’t even know how it happened. We couldn’t get through to you and we both hurt and it was like it was the only way…” She couldn’t seem to meet Rachel’s gaze. “I’m so sorry, Rachel. I love you so much.”

  “And now you love Kevin.”

  Silence fell between them and then Rachel took the last few steps across the kitchen and sat next to Angel at the bar. She placed both her hands palms down on the countertop and looked at them. “I’ve done a lot of things since I left, Angel. Some ugly things.” She thought of doing tai chi with Logan and smiled. “Some beautiful.” She turned to face her sister. “None of them are things I ever thought I was capable of when I lived in this house. So I’m not going to say that all that happened doesn’t matter, because it does. And I’m not going to say that it’s forgotten, because it’s not. But I do want to move on with my life, and I still want you in it.”

  “Thank you.” Angel whispered the words, her eyes bright with tears. She reached over to give Rachel an awkward sideways hug and they held on for several seconds. When they released each other, Angel cleared her throat. “And how about Logan?”

  “Logan.” Rachel’s heart thumped oddly at the sound of his name. It was the first time she’d spoken it since she left the island. She wondered if he had said her name since she left…and abruptly she wanted nothing more than to hear him say it like he had that night, breathless and loving, whispered in her ear… She shook off the thought and stood. “Logan has nothing to do with this.”

  “If it weren’t for Logan, where would you be?” Angel caught her arm and when Rachel gave her a querying look, she added, “I know why he did it. He knew you were trying to destroy yourself. I don’t think he wanted to admit he was falling in love with you at first.”

  “In love?” Rachel shook her head, summoning her obstinate nature. “Deception doesn’t seem like love to me.”

  “He put your needs before his own. He risked everything for you, Rachel. And you can’t tell me we’d be sitting here having this conversation if he hadn’t done what he did.”

  “Drugged me, faked a plane crash, kidnapped me and held me hostage?” Rachel raised her eyebrows. “He’s lucky I didn’t call the police.”

  “I thought it was a little extreme, too.” Angel primmed up her lips and caught her sister’s eye, then they both dissolved into laughter. Angel stood and put her arms around Rachel, clinging to her for a long moment. When she finally drew back, her eyes were full of tears and her voice hitched a little. “Sweetie, I’m not even sure you’d be here if it weren’t for Logan. He saw something in you that I’d missed. Tell me you weren’t thinking of suicide and I’ll shut up. But if you were, then I think you have to start thanking Logan for his intervention.”

  Intervention. Rachel remembered the longing to let the blackness take her and shivered a little. How close had she come? I believe in fate in as far as I believe we are fated to reach certain points in our lives where we have to make decisions. But I believe the decisions we make are our own. Had Logan’s actions helped her avoid a fate she really didn’t want?

  ****

  April in the North Carolina mountains was always unpredictable weather-wise, Logan thought. He much preferred the Caribbean where he could count on weather warm enough for him to wear t-shirts and shorts. But he’d come straight from the airport to his mother-in-law’s house, and now he sat, sweltering, in a dark suit on the patio while Jasmine played happily on the swings and Celia, his mother-in-law, did her best to make him feel comfortable with iced tea and a plate of cookies.

  Not that the warm sun really mattered in the face of his daughter’s joy at seeing him. For the first time ever, when she flung her arms around his neck, he let himself bask in her affection, hugging her back with a return of affection he finally felt free to express.

  And I owe that to Rachel. He’d never expected to find his own peace while trying to help her, but he had. In spite of the sleepless nights he’d spent without her, she’d healed something inside him that he hadn’t even realized was broken. If nothing else, their short-lived relationship had helped them both deal with their losses.

  “You’re different.”

  He looked up in surprise, smiling a little into his mother-in-law’s bright eyes. Celia, like her daughter, was very straightforward, almost in a childlike way. It had its charm as well as its annoyances. He raised his eyebrows, “How do you mean?”

  “You’re…not exactly happy, but like you could be.” She nodded with satisfaction. “That’s good.”

  At one time, he never would have believed this woman would be satisfied he could be happy, but now he wondered if she’d ever really blamed him for Nora’s death. Maybe his own perception of his guilt had overwhelmed all other considerations.

  He sipped his tea and loosened his tie. “Bit of a heatwave isn’t it? Aren’t you still supposed to be able to ski around here?”

  “Ski season ends in March for good reason. You can’t depend on the weather to be cold.” Celia looked out over the mountains that made up her back yard. “It’s spring now. Time for the flowers to wake up.”

  “That’s what Nora always used to say.” Her name escaped him before he thought, but she didn’t flinch.

  “I used to tell her that when she was Jasmine’s age.” Celia heaved a long sigh. “It’s almost time for something else, isn’t it? For Jasmine to go home with you?”

  The wistfulness in her voice made his heart ache. He reached for her hand. “I would never want to take her from you.”

  “I know that.” Celia nodded. “You could have done it a long time ago if you wanted to. But the fact is your seasons are changing. You can offer her something I can’t now. A real parent.”

  “You’ve been a parent in every way that’s really important.” He stopped when she pulled her hand away.

  She didn’t speak immediately, but when she did, he knew she’d considered every word carefully. “I know why you wanted me to take care of her for you. I know your guilt weighed you down for a long time. And I let you feel that way so I could have Jasmine to help me heal.” She looked at her hands folded in front of her for a moment, then back at him. “That’s something I’ll live with.”

  “If having Jasmine helped you in any way with Nora’s loss, I’m grateful.” He tried to put his sincerity into his voice.

  She nodded and they were silent for several seconds before she spoke again. “It doesn’t change the fact that it’s time for both of us to get on with the lives we were meant to lead. You as a father, me as a grandmother.”

  He hesitated, wanting to confirm her words but not sure how. Though he hadn’t taken the time to plan it out, he’d known he needed to broach the subject with her. He watched his daughter playing quietly in the little playhouse someone else had built for her. “She should finish the school year here.”

  “Her spring break is next week.” Celia considered. “I wouldn’t mind spending it on a warm beach.” She paused, giving him an impish smile that reminded him again of Nora. “Summer break too, for that matter.”

  “There are worse places to retire than tropical islands.” He grinned.

  “Daddy!” The enthusiastic shout caught his attention and his heart, turning him to meet his daughter as she sprang into his arms. “Daddy, Grammie says the ice cream shop is open again. Can we go?”

  He buried his face in his daughter’s lilac-scented blonde hair. These childish requests for instant gratification would come more and more often if he were going to be a real father to his daughter. He kissed her forehead and then said, “How about this deal? You eat all your broccoli at dinner and we get ice cream for dessert? My treat.”

  She played with his tie, settling into his lap and looking up at him with big brown eyes and a serious, measuring expression he’d felt on his own face at times. “You mean you’re staying for dinner?”

  “Yes. I do mean that.” He hugged her, thinking of the other flying
visits he’d paid his daughter. An hour or two here and there, unable to hold her for longer because he’d been so caught up in the guilt and shame. But none of that had anything at all to do with the beautiful little girl in his arms. “In fact, how about I stay for a few days and take you and Grammie back to the island with me?”

  Her eyes widened. “You mean it? For real? I’ve got a passport. Grammie showed me and said when I was big enough I’d go back to your island with you. Am I really big enough?”

  Celia reached across the table to squeeze his hand and only then did he realize his vision had blurred with tears. He hugged Jasmine harder, grateful he’d finally cleared the guilt from his heart, leaving plenty of room for love. “Yeah, sweetie. You’re really big enough. Finally.”

  ****

  Rachel stepped out of the real estate office, feeling free for the first time in years. It was more than just selling the house she’d bought with Kevin. It was a release of negative emotions she no longer wished to be bound to. She wanted to fling her arms wide to the sky and dance and sing.

  This is what Logan was talking about. She took a deep breath and turned as Kevin and Angel exited the office together. Kevin gave her the cautious look he’d taken to using around her. As if he didn’t really know her, had no idea what her next action would be. And maybe he hadn’t. Maybe that was what had happened to them. She only knew that right now, six months after her return home, more than a year since her divorce and almost two since her baby died…now she was ready to get on with her life. Although how she could do that, she didn’t know.

  One foot in front of the other. And I might as well start out right. She held out her hand to Kevin. “I guess this is it.”

  And it was. With the house sold, there was nothing else to bind them. Standing there on the sunny street in the small North Carolina town, there was nothing left of the five years they’d been together. It was as clean a break as she could manage anymore.

  He took her hand, still with a wary look in his eye. “I guess so. See you around, huh?”

  “Maybe.”

  “Rachel, don’t be mysterious.” Angel sounded not wary but half panicked. “The last time you did that you disappeared for a month.”

  Rachel hugged her sister. “I have no intention of disappearing again. I just don’t, honestly, know what I’m going to do now. Or where I’m going to go.” She backed away from Angel, careful to keep hold of her hands long enough to give them a reassuring squeeze. “It’s not a bad thing, though. I have my life to live and discover. Whatever’s waiting for me, I finally feel ready for it.”

  She held her sister’s gaze for just a moment more. She knew her words were meant as much to reassure herself as her sister. She’d never been so adrift in the world before without a safety line of family or job or home. And as exciting as a new beginning might sound, it also unsettled and threatened. But if she believed it included dancing and singing, maybe it just would.

  ****

  Jasmine, wrapped in a towel and sitting on her grandmother’s lap in the warm sun, watched the salt shaker with all her might as Logan covered it with a napkin. His heart filled with delight at her scrutiny. She was always trying to figure out how he “did it”, but she never ceased to be amazed by a new trick. Her persistence drove him to try harder and harder sleight of hand, exercising muscles he’d thought long atrophied from disuse.

  Now, as she watched, he moved the napkin-covered shaker over the solid table by the side of the pool. “I’m pretty sure there’s a soft spot here somewhere.” He pretended to search, then jerked back as if in surprise, releasing the napkin to fall flat on the table.

  Jasmine squealed with happy surprise. “Where’d the shaker go?”

  He produced it from under the table, grinning at her applause, but a little surprised when it was echoed from not only Andre and Stacey, who were also seated with them, but also by a small crowd of onlookers. He gave a half-bow. “Thank you. I’m here all week.”

  Laughter and the other guests politely dissipated, leaving him alone with his friends and family. Celia looked relaxed, Logan was happy to note. When they’d first come to the island that summer, she’d mentioned going home when Jasmine was settled into school, but here she was, four months later, obviously content. It worked well for Jazz, who loved her grandmother very much. Although, he was proud to admit, she hadn’t had much trouble adjusting to life with him as the primary caregiver, either.

  “You know, you could be.” Stacey adjusted the pink-wrapped bundle in her lap, a gentle smile on her face. Motherhood had smoothed what harsh edges had been left in her soul, leaving her almost completely happy in her love for her husband and child.

  Logan was glad they’d brought the baby with them on this trip. It was good to see her this way and his old friend so content in his family. Distracted by these happy thoughts, it took him a moment to process what Stacey had just said. Then he frowned. “What? Wait a sec—”

  Andre held up a hand, interrupting without apology. “She’s right, you know. You were one of the best, Logan. Magic still needs you.”

  Jasmine listened to the adult interchange, then slipped from her grandmother’s lap and rounded the table to stand in front of her father, still holding the salt. “You’re a magician.” She nodded. “One of my friends at school said you were, but I wasn’t sure I knew exactly what she was saying right.”

  “I was a magician.” Logan kissed his daughter’s forehead. “But that was a long time ago. Before you were born.”

  Jasmine handed him the salt shaker. “You still are.” She grinned at him cheerfully and skipped over to the playground.

  Celia stood to follow her granddaughter, but paused to look at Logan. “If you don’t mind my two-cents, I think Nora would want you to go back to what you loved. She knew how happy performing magic made you—and how happy it made other people. I don’t think she’d want to see you give it up.”

  “Why don’t you give it a try? Just on a trial basis.” Stacey leaned carefully over the baby to sip her lemonade. “Umm. That’s really good. But seriously, you’ve got an outside theater, don’t you? For concerts and things? Just do it here, among friends.”

  “You might want to let the media know about it.” Andre considered. “I’ll call Tony. He’ll make sure the right people know. It’ll be good publicity for the resort.”

  Logan raised his eyebrows and sipped his own drink. You still are. His daughter was right, really. He was still a magician. It wasn’t something you could just stop being like an accountant. It was an integral part of who he was, so even if he didn’t practice magic, he was still a magician.

  Making a decision, he set aside his drink. “Okay, let’s do it. But let’s do it right.”

  ****

  Andre looked around at the little library curiously. It honestly didn’t seem a likely place to find the exotic beauty his best friend had fallen in love with, but he had good reason to know that people didn’t always end up in the place they first set a course to. And Angel, who had been happier to see him than he’d anticipated, had assured him Rachel worked here now.

  He scanned the library one last time and his gaze fell on the reference desk off to the side with the laminated sign that read, “Got Questions?” A woman was busy at the computer behind the desk. He shrugged. Better place to start than any. As he approached, the woman at the desk looked up, her dark hair falling back from her face. They both froze.

  “Andre?” Rachel frowned and stood. “What are you doing here?”

  Did her voice contain just a little hope? If so, it would indicate forgiveness and that could make his job that much easier. He proceeded with caution. “Sometimes I’m reminded of how small a world we live in. I was visiting my mother. I grew up in Bath.”

  She smiled, a warm smile very unlike the sexy but brittle one he remembered, and for the first time he got a glimpse of what Logan had known was there all along. “That’s such a beautiful little town,” she said. “I’ve been there a couple of
times, just to visit.”

  “Not much other reason to go there if you don’t have family.” He made a conscious effort to stop himself from nodding like an idiot. God, she was downright charming. For the first time since meeting her, he could really see why Logan had fallen for her. All the pretense was gone, and what it left behind—in a ponytail and almost no makeup—was extraordinary.

  Only when she laughed a little did he realize he was staring. He grinned. “I’m—very sorry. I just—almost wouldn’t recognize you. You seem much happier.”

  Her laughter died, but she nodded, her face sober. “I am happier. In a lot of ways.”

  The ruefulness of her tone gave him hope again. “He misses you too.” When she looked doubtful, he added. “Logan. He does. I swear. But he won’t call you if you’re waiting for that.”

  “I’m not.” She stated it simply and sat back down at the reference desk. “Did you need anything else?”

  “You’re as stubborn as he is, aren’t you?” He shook his head. “Both of you in love and pining away for each other, but you won’t admit it.”

  “Pining away?” She looked up at him, amused. “I wouldn’t exactly call it pining away. Wasting away…but never pining.”

  He laughed and shrugged. “Well, whatever you want to call it, you miss him.”

  “I do.” She looked at her hands, then spread them wide, palms up, a gesture of helplessness. “But what do I do? If there’s one thing life’s taught me, it’s that sometimes what’s done is done.”

  “What’s done is done, but what’s to come isn’t.” He squatted in front of her desk, looking into her eyes earnestly. “Come back to the island. I’ll make all the arrangements. Show him you’re willing to take the first step in deciding your own fate.” He paused. “He’s planning a show. For his daughter’s sake, I think. She said she wanted to see him perform.”