Steam and Ink: Two Novels of Ink Plus Two BONUS Short Stories

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  “Why the hell didn’t you call me today? I thought we made plans. What the fuck did I do wrong?” His words made me cringe; sadness was evident in his voice.

  “I wanted to put distance between us. You didn’t do anything wrong.” I shook my head, meeting his eyes.

  “Distance? What for?” His eyebrows drew together as the skin wrinkled in between.

  “I just don’t think we’ll work out.” I shrugged.

  “Woman, you think too damn much, and it’s fucked up. Blew my ass off for that douchebag tonight, and how’d that shit turn out for you?” He paused before continuing. “What makes you think we don’t have a shot?”

  I looked away from him, unable to look him in the eyes. “We’re just so different, City. I don’t see a future between us, and at my age, I’m looking forward. I don’t live life by the seat of my pants like you. We have nothing in common and we run in different worlds.” Water clouded my vision as I stared at the wall across the room. I blinked, trying to clear the tears from my eyes.

  Sighing, he reached for my face, touching my cheek and pulling my face in his directions. “Look at me, sugar.” His eyes moved around my face. “I don’t know how you think I live, and you sure as hell don’t know who I am. We’re getting to know each other, but you shut me out without a reason. You said it yourself, Sophia and Kayden are opposites but they work. Why couldn’t we?”

  I drew in a shaky breath, his words making my heart ache. “I know I said that, but I don’t know, City.”

  “What don’t you know? Talk to me.” His hand closed over my fist in my lap as he stroked his thumb across my sensitive skin.

  “I like you a lot. So much that it scares me, and I don’t know if I could deal with the heartbreak when you walk out of my life.” A tear slid down my cheek as I spoke.

  “You never gave us a chance to see if we could work.” His finger slid across my skin, wiping the tear away.

  “You’re not a one-woman man. I could tell that about you, and I don’t work that way. I don’t want to share you.”

  “Suzy, I’m not a whore. Since I met you last week I haven’t been with anyone else. I don’t want anyone else, just you.”

  “I’d like to believe that, but you looked a little too cozy with Karen tonight.”

  “Kaylee, not Karen. I’ll be totally honest with you about her. I had sex with her twice in my life. Not my proudest moment, but she offered and I accepted. She wants to be my girlfriend, and I’ve told her no. I’m very clear with her that she and I are nothing and never will be. Should I have pushed her ass on the floor when she sat on my lap?”

  “No, I guess not.” I didn’t want to think about the visual I had of another woman sitting on him and fawning.

  “I wanted to be with you tonight. You blew me off. We had such a nice time last night, and as soon as I brought you home, you shut down.”

  “I don’t know, City,” I said.

  “Joey.”

  “Joey, I watched Kayden and Sophia all night. They reminded me of what I want someday. I want someone that’s going to love me and be mine alone. I want to be important to someone,” I said, staring into his eyes without blinking, worried another tear would slip down my cheek.

  “It’s what everyone wants—”

  “Let me finish.” I shook my head. “I like you, Joey. No one has ever made me feel the way you do, but I can’t risk falling for you. I can’t have my heart broken.” I bit my lip, trying to focus on pain instead of sadness. I didn’t want tears to flow freely. “I think it’s best if we stop now. The time we’ve spent together has been amazing, but I can’t do it anymore. I can’t lie to myself.”

  “May I speak now?” He smiled at me, but it was a sad smile.

  “Yes.”

  “Do you think I’m incapable of love?” He stared at me, waiting for an answer, his mouth set in a firm line.

  “No, I just don’t think it’s who you are now, and I can’t wait around for that part of you. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us.”

  “Suzette.” Formal names always meant something serious. “I never allowed myself to think of a future with anyone, but last night I saw a world of possibilities. I realized what I was missing out on—I want what Kayden and Sophia have.” He squeezed my fingers, and I watched his thumb rub the back of my hand. “Look at me. I’ve never allowed myself to get close to anyone in years, but your innocence and sweetness have pierced my heart.”

  “Oh,” I said, my eyes growing wide with surprise.

  “I didn’t want to rush into anything with you. I don’t want to ruin anything, but you need to understand where I’m coming from. You need to know my past.” His Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat as he swallowed before continuing. “I have been in love before. I had a fiancée and I thought my entire life was made. Plans don’t always work out exactly as we think.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said, breaking a hand free from his grip, touching his cheek, running my thumb across the rough stubble.

  “It was a long time ago. We were in college and her name was Joni. We were high school sweethearts.” He closed his eyes, and I could see the pain on his beautiful features. “I loved her more than anything in the world, and she was ripped from my life.”

  My heart skipped with the thought that anyone could break his heart.

  “A fucking drunk driver hit her on her way home from work and she was killed instantly.” He hung his head, hiding his face from my view. I could only imagine the pain that he’d felt losing his love that day in such a brutal manner. “I’ve never allowed myself to get that close to anyone after she died. It fuckin’ wrecked me, and I didn’t know if I’d ever fully heal.”

  “I’m sorry, Joey.” I kissed his cheek, allowing him the time to gather his thoughts and hide a small part of himself.

  His eyes rose to meet mine. “You remind me a lot of Joni…your kindness and playful nature. It’s infectious. You two would’ve been good friends. She was my light, and I couldn’t remember life without her until the day she died. I thought the heartbreak would kill me, Suzy. I’ve been so scared to open myself to anyone again, but you made me want to try. Don’t shut me out. I can’t promise forever, yet, but I want you to be mine, Suzy.”

  My breath caught. “What do you mean?”

  “Woman, I swear sometimes I have to spell shit out to you. For a smart girl, sometimes you amaze me.” He chuckled. “I want you to be my girlfriend. Mine and only mine. I’d planned to ask you tonight before you blew me off.”

  Yes, yes, yes! “What about you?” I asked. Would he see other girls? My heart couldn’t take that.

  “Just you, Suzy. I want a full commitment, and it’s a two-way street. Your body is mine…no one else’s. I haven’t wanted to be with only one person in a long time.”

  “Okay,” I whispered, a smile creeping across my lips. My body vibrated with excitement as his words sank in. City wanted me to be his girlfriend. Wow.

  “So, you’ll be my girlfriend?” he asked.

  “Yes,” I said as I crawled into his lap. “I’ve never wanted anything more,” I said against his lips.

  “Mine,” he growled as he crushed his mouth to my lips. The kiss felt different than the others. There was a hunger behind it—a claiming.

  City lifted my body as he stood. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I kissed him back with more passion than I had before. I wanted him more than I ever did. I wanted to make love to him and convey all the passion I felt for him—I wanted to heal him. He may have been broken, but I’d help his heart heal and show him all the love I had to offer.

  Stitches

  City

  Sharing the loss of Joni was easier than I’d thought. I rarely spoke about her, and only my family knew about my past. I felt Suzy needed to know to understand. I owed it to her. I’d let it go beyond a casual relationship by meeting her friends and seeing her more than once. Fuck, I’d seen her more than any woman that I’d allowed in my bed since Joni.

  Placing her feet
on the bedroom floor, she slid down my body before standing, leaning against me. Her soft eyes stared into mine as the corners of her mouth turned up into a smile. Cradling my face in her hands, she rose on her tiptoes and touched her lips to mine. She tasted sweet, and my body craved more. We kissed with our eyes open, and I watched as her pupils dilated and her blinking slowed. Her hands began to move, and I heard the fabric of her shirt rustle as her knuckles brushed against my abdomen. I grabbed her hands, stilling them. “I undress you,” I said, and her hands went slack at her side.

  She swallowed, smiling at me before lifting her arms. Pulling up her shirt, I exposed her soft belly before the white lace of her bra became visible, her hard nipples calling for my mouth. I dropped her shirt to the floor behind her and ran my hands down her still-raised arms, over her collarbone, over her breasts, stopping at her nipples. I palmed her breasts in my hands and felt the heaviness in them. Her breathing changed as I ran my thumbs over her hardened nipples and stared in her eyes. Her mouth opened, and she sucked in a quick breath as her head fell back.

  I wanted to take her hard and fast, but after the talk we’d just had, I knew I had to show her the gentler side of sex. I couldn’t be rough with her, not this time at least. I had to show her that I cared for her and didn’t think of her as a fuck toy.

  I forced my hands to leave her breasts and moved them over her soft stomach, hooking my fingers inside the cloth hugging her hips, as I pulled her skirt down her legs, to reveal matching white lace panties. I kissed the delicate material and placed my knees on the floor. She stood there and swayed, but didn’t move.

  “Feet, sugar.” I tapped the tops of her feet as I waited for her to react. I could hear her giggle above me as she crawled out of her skirt, and the sound of it made my heart skip a beat. Innocence and bliss. I grabbed her hips and moved her body until the back of her knees hit the soft mattress. She sat down and looked at me with wide eyes.

  “Lie back,” I growled as I held her knees, spreading them wide. “I want to taste that sweet pussy of yours. I’m going to devour you until you’re begging for my dick, sugar.” I grinned at her. I could hold out an eternity feasting on her body—worshipping her center with my tongue.

  She rested on her elbows and smirked at me as I sat between her knees. “All the way down, sugar.” I squeezed her knees in warning.

  “Damn, you’re pretty between my legs. I just wanted to watch you,” she said with a playful grin on her face.

  “Keep your eyes on me.” I reached for her lace panties and wrapped my fingertips inside the material.

  “Wait,” she said as I began to move the material away from her body.

  I pulled quickly, and the material disintegrated in my hands.

  “Well, crap, those were expensive.” She blew out a breath.

  “I’ll buy you new ones, sugar. No more talking; my mouth has other things to do that are more important.” My hands glided down her legs, pulling them apart as they reached her knees. I moved my mouth to the soft, sensitive skin of her thigh and licked, causing her body to shudder.

  I could smell her arousal, and the sweet scent of her pussy made my dick ache. I kissed and licked to the V where her leg connected to her body, only inches from her pussy. Sucking her flesh in my mouth, I lapped at her juices as I twirled my tongue over the smooth skin and listened to her tiny moans. Continuing the slow, sensual assault on her body, I gripped her knees as I ran my tongue across her pussy, but didn’t stop to pay her engorged clit any attention. I stopped at the same exact spot on her right leg, pulling the skin into my mouth to leave a mark. I hadn’t given a hickey since high school, but I wanted to leave something to remind her of who owned her body.

  “You’re killing me,” she said, all breathy. I smiled against her skin as I bit down on the flesh and she flinched. “Jesus,” she yelped, and the bed dipped as her back dropped against the mattress.

  My tongue soothed the red skin where my teeth had left a mark, leaving no doubt where I’d been and to whom she belonged. I couldn’t wait any longer to taste her and feel her on my tongue as I moved toward her heat, inhaling her scent before my mouth descended on her body. I buried my nose in her blonde hair and smelled her sweetness. My flat tongue rested against her clit as I began to circle it with my tongue, but I denied her the contact she wanted. I sucked her lips into my mouth, like a starved man, tasting her wetness on my tongue. Her fingers laced in my hair and pushed my face into her core.

  I dipped my tongue into her wetness and swallowed her arousal. I didn’t think I could ever get enough of her taste. I wanted to hear her scream and couldn’t wait any longer. I licked upward, capturing the last drops from her pussy as I sucked her clit hard.

  She moaned, pulling my face harder against her body, writhing under my touch. I pushed two fingers inside her and her body stilled. Her pussy clenched against my fingers as I thrust them inside her. Her body arched and she gripped the sheets as she moaned. Moving my palm against her skin, I placed my fingertips on her nipple. Pinching it, my grip pulsated against her stiff peak, and it tipped her over the edge. She lifted her head, and her body grew rigid as her breathing became erratic and shaky.

  I stared at her face, watching her fall into oblivion, overcome by the orgasm gripping her body. She dropped her head on the pillow as her eyes opened, sucking in a shuddering breath. Listening to her ragged breaths, I grabbed the condom from my back pocket before standing and removing my clothing.

  The look on her face was one of a predator staring at their prey. I stroked my cock and stared at her body, waiting to be filled. Her mouth opened as she stared at my hand, and I stroked it with a firm grip, catching the piercing as I touched the tip.

  “You want me inside you, sugar?” I asked in a slow, deep tone as I stood at the foot of the bed stroking myself.

  “Well,” she said, caressing her skin and licking her lips. “I mean, your fingers are magic and your mouth is divine…”

  I held up my free hand. “Shhh, sugar. No more talking. The only sound I want to hear is you screaming my name as you come on my dick.”

  “Oh,” she said, her eyes still glued to my shaft like she’d never seen it before. She was so easy to fluster. I tore the condom wrapper open with my teeth and rolled it over my aching member. I couldn’t wait any longer to be inside her luscious cunt and seek my release.

  I moved up her body and nestled between her legs. “For the first time, I’m taking you as mine.” I laid my palm against her pussy, cupping it as I gripped it in its entirety. “No one else gets to touch you understand, Suzette?” I asked with my lips against hers.

  “Yes, Joseph. It’s yours and only yours,” she said, staring in my eyes.

  I kissed her and claimed her body as mine, fucking her with passion. I took her slow and gentle, showing her body the attention it deserved, and worshipped her in a way she’d never experienced before collapsing on the mattress.

  I stretched out in bed and stared at the ceiling as she went to get ready for bed. She walked out of the bathroom in a t-shirt, but I wanted to feel her skin against mine as we slept. “No clothes.”

  “What do you mean?” she asked as she touched the edge of the mattress.

  “When you sleep in bed with me, I don’t want you wearing clothes. They’re a barrier I don’t want to deal with—I want all of you whenever I want you, even in the middle of the night.” I patted the mattress.

  “Underwear?” She smiled and lifted the shirt.

  “No underwear either. Strip and get your fine ass in this bed.” She didn’t move, looking at me with a silly smile. “Do it,” I said, eyeing her.

  “But—”

  “No, buts, sugar. I’ve seen every inch of your body, even that beautiful little asshole of yours. That’ll be mine someday too.”

  Her smile faded, but her eyes twinkled as she stepped out of her panties and threw her nightshirt on the floor. She curled against my body and rested her head on my shoulder.

  “Hand, sugar.”
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  She placed her hand on my chest, not forgetting where I’d put it the first night we spent together. My heartbeat thudded below her palm as I rested my hand on top of hers. I placed my lips against her forehead. “Sweet dreams, beautiful.”

  “Night, Joey,” she said as she yawned. Her breathing changed quickly as she drifted to sleep.

  I listened to her tiny breaths as she slept beside me, wrapped in my arms, and curled into my body. I held her hand against my chest and felt her fingertips rub my skin. I felt my eyes grow heavy as I rubbed her hand and tangled my fingers in her hair.

  ***

  I felt someone staring at me as I opened my eyes in the darkness. “You awake?” she whispered.

  “I am now,” I said, moving my fingers in her hair. “What’s wrong, sugar?”

  “I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t want to wake you, but I…”

  “What’s bothering that pretty little head of yours?” I moved my fingers out of her hair and rubbed the soft skin of her arms, thrumming my fingers back and forth rhythmically.

  “I’m just scared,” she whispered.

  “Of me?” I moved my head away to see her face barely lit by moonlight cascading through the blinds.

  “Not really.” She rubbed my chest. “I’ve had boyfriends, but only a couple. I’ve never felt about them the way I feel about you, Joey. It scares the piss out of me.”

  “How did you feel about them?” I asked, more curious about how she felt about me than the previous men in my shoes.

  “They were nice, but I didn’t get butterflies every time I saw them. We’d go days without talking, and I was fine with that, but with you I’m always checking my phone for a message. I’m feeling needy with you, Joey, and I don’t like it.”