The Man Who Talked to Suns

by Stephen Andrews

  “Hello, Ashur. Welcome to the universe.”

  Emotions fought for dominance; fear, awe, hope and caution coursed through Ashur. He had no idea how he had been brought here or what it meant, but Ansti was here and Ansti was something he could manipulate. He tried to calm himself and think. What came to him was an overwhelming sense of potential. He was in a place with Ansti, a being once a man, who now it seemed to move in places he could not. Perhaps there was still hope that he could use the great spaces, perhaps there was hope that his vision could find a way to flourish here. He returned Ansti’s greeting and posed a question.

  “Hello Ansti. So, this is how it feels to be like you. It’s a unique feeling old friend. Is this the space where you move, the space that joins stars? Did you bring me here to show me how its done? Can you show me Ansti? I can use it for our cause. Perhaps I can do what you can’t, and find a way to fight here, a way to avenge us?”

  Ashur felt movement. He felt something being readied — the preparation of a revelation — and then a question. Ansti made himself small and humble and asked it simply.

  “Ashur, if I teach you how to move here, it creates many possibilities. It gives you power to do things people can’t. If I show you, how will you use it?”

  Ashur offered what he thought Ansti wanted to hear; reassurances that power would be used for good. He told Ansti how he had learned so much. He persuaded with every conscious thought he could muster. But Ashur hid the truth deeper in himself. While he used words and feelings to turn the being around him to his purpose, he hid the true purpose. Or he thought he did. What he could not know was that he only existed as part of Ansti, and nothing that he called his own was hidden. As he schemed and lied, he revealed himself, the true self that Ansti had seen before, and Ansti learned that the man had corrupted himself so deeply that he should be given what he wanted.

  So, it blossomed open. Ansti let the universe find Ashur, and meet him. He helped it and he helped Ashur to see what had been hidden; the scale of the void teeming with life. It found Ashur’s consciousness and his senses, hungry for the knowledge that would bring him power. But his senses could not contain it. Without a vehicle to guide him, or par-born to re-birth him, Ashur was simply exposed to infinity. This little thing called Ashur, born and raised on a spec of rock and water could no more confront the truth than an insect clinging to the outside of a ship could live in space.

  Ansti felt Ashur reel. He felt his senses fill and then recoil as a never ending stream of experience flowed in. He felt Ashur’s mind fill and then seize, swamped with only a fraction of that which it had asked to see. It was a mind that had evolved on a world with boundaries; horizons, shores, skies, continents. All began and ended, but here where Ansti lived there were no beginnings or endings. Ashur’s mind could not process the truth. It was incapable of containing the thing he wanted to know, and as the gift of true insight was given to it, it crumbled and collapsed. Ashur’s mind simply stopped working. His being stalled in the face of infinity. Ashur had been shown his place in the universe. His ego could not stand the truth of it, and his mind could not contain the size of it. Faced with infinity he simply stopped functioning, and as he did, as the essence of him failed, Ansti took it and swept it out of him into the void. Nothing remained now of Ashur except the memory of him in the minds of those who lived on. Now the path to real negotiation with the Tash-eh was clear.

  Chapter 26.

  Water slapped against the side of the boat as it powered through the waves. It was smart; constantly adapting sails and hull to move with efficiency through the changing sea. The people on board were splashed a jolted, and happy to be so. They had moved out early that morning and sought the strong winds. They looked for the exhilaration and power of the sky and exposure to their sun. The water was fresh and the hint of salt on their lips was from their own sweat. It tickled them and made them feel alive, as the yacht pulsed with the heartbeat of the ocean around. To port another boat shadowed them; friends who had the same idea of adventure and fun. Way below them a small object kept pace with the boat. It ran fast and deep and pulsed with a prey fish lure. Its job was simple; to catch dinner.

  Nuri was in the arms of her man. She nestled there and felt his strength and warmth. She’d also nestled in close to offer comfort. He was a good man but uncomfortable now. She could sense the edge of tension in his smile, and how he tried too hard not to stare at the other person in the boat. He would adjust, but it would take time she knew. She raised a hand, turned his head a little and offered him a kiss. He responded, but with more reserve than usual. She smiled and whispered in his ear, teasing him. He responded by scooping a fist of water and dumping it on her. Nuri squealed and replied in kind. Then they both looked at the man opposite and set about drenching him too, inviting him to be part of the game.

  Ansti was draped across the other side of the boat, his head thrown back so that from time to time a wave caught him. He was already soaked and the onslaught of playful splashing from his sister and her man did not bother him. In fact he did not notice it at all, and after a while they gave up and sat whispering to each other. Ansti, had confined himself in a body to return home. It was uncomfortable and limiting, but it was what he knew his friends and family would understand. There had been tears and joy and then awe and curiosity as he had shown himself to them. He explained as best he could that he would come to them in moments and be in other places too, and that sometimes he would be gone. He explained that he had work to do, that he had returned to piloting in a way. They had listened and nodded and not understood, but they grew used to him. Most even grew used to the black pits that sometimes took the space of his eyes.

  He did not feel the wet or the boat move. His head was thrown back in a position of a man relaxing, but it was not for relaxation. He was staring at their sun. Its photons entered his body and within them he found messages. Most of his being was in the void. He nurtured and confided in the new pilots. The men and women and vehicles that had become his tools. They moved into the ships that had separated from his kind and found a bond. Then they moved the ships, and his people found their freedom again. He sensed each of them and their place in the universe. He knew they would build others of their kind and soon the business of keeping worlds connected would be taken from the hands of those who feared and given to the minds of those who understood; sentient beings that were born of planets but embraced the void. He moved a little in the void, brushing against other beings and exchanging communication with them.

  He looked down at himself in the blue water of his ocean home, and his body smiled up at himself. Both knew a truth. They understood that the only thing truly worth fighting for was peace.