Lasgun Wedding

by Will McDermott

  Katerin didn’t wait to talk strategy. He simply kicked the bodies out of his way and opened the nearest door. Kal shrugged and waited to see what would happen next.

  Katerin raised his hands, clicked two shells into place and entered. ‘You Nemo?’ he asked as he went through the door.

  Kal slipped around the table and moved towards the door, making sure he couldn’t be seen by anyone in the next room. He listened to the exchange as he moved.

  ‘Stop right there,’ said Nemo. Kal knew that muffled, yet incredibly sinister voice anywhere. ‘One more step and Mr Feg’s head becomes a molten puddle of goo.’

  ‘That satchel is royal property,’ said Katerin. ‘If you destroy that man’s head, you will be obstructing a royal inquiry. The penalty for that is death.’

  Kal shook his head. Nobles. Hrmph. The man had no tact. No flair. Kal peered through the crack in the door to locate Nemo. He needed more information before he acted. Most of the room was blocked from view as Katerin had stopped on the other side of the door, but he could just make out the glint off the master spy’s dark helmet in the middle of the room.

  Nemo wasn’t one to make idle threats, so he must have some weapon trained on Feg, although Kal couldn’t see the one-armed scummer yet. One thing Kal knew about dealing with Nemo was that the only way to bargain with him was to change the odds. Kal fingered his laspistol, stepped out from behind the door, sighted and fired.

  His shot flew true, blasting a meltagun right out of Nemo’s hand.

  ‘Jerico!’ screamed Nemo. He reached into his jacket and tossed something at them as he dived to the side.

  The room exploded with light and sound. Nemo had thrown a flash bomb. Kal was blinded, but he was pretty sure the Orrus rig came complete with a photo visor or at least photo contacts. Katerin should be able to see.

  ‘What’s going on?’ he called out as he wiped the tears from his eyes.

  ‘Nemo opened a tunnel and took off,’ yelled Katerin. ‘I’m going after the bastard.’

  ‘You go ahead,’ said Kal. ‘I’ll safeguard Feg.’

  A few moments later, once Kal could see again, he holstered his weapons and sauntered over to Feg, who looked like he’d been slung from the top of some sadistic cage. ‘Hello Vandal,’ he said, smiling. ‘I’m here to rescue you.’

  Feg spat at him, but Kal was ready for that move and sidestepped. The second wad of spittle, though, smacked him right between the eyes.

  ‘Now, now,’ said Kal. ‘Any more of that and I won’t get you out of here.’

  ‘What’s the catch?’ asked Feg.

  ‘I get you out of Nemo’s clutches and you lead me to the satchel,’ said Kal. ‘If you’re a good boy, I’ll even get my contacts to pay you for it. Or you could wait for mister “No Personality” to come back.’

  ‘Phah,’ said Feg. ‘Which one’s that?’

  ‘Either,’ said Kal. ‘Deal or no deal?’

  Feg looked at Kal and he could tell that the chained up bruiser was thinking about launching another wad of spit at him. Instead, he swallowed the spit along with his pride and said, ‘Deal.’

  Kal looked at the structure. It wasn’t so much a cage as an elaborate crucifix. Lattice beams had been attached to Feg’s body and limbs by ropes. These beams were roped together in such a way that they held the scummer with his arm and legs spread out horizontal over the floor. Pipes attached to the beam structure hung down to the ground all around the huge man. Kal had no idea what those were for and wanted ever so much to twist a few to see if they hurt Feg.

  What he really needed was to find a way to release the scummer as quickly as possible. The ‘cage’ had been hoisted two metres off the ground by ropes attached to a pulley at the ceiling. The rope snaked its way through a few more pulleys towards a side wall and down to a large winch.

  ‘Hmmm,’ said Kal. He pulled out his sabre and gave the ropes a good whack.

  ‘Nooo,’ said Feg as the ropes went slack. His exclamation was cut short as he dropped to the floor, face first.

  ‘Perfect,’ said Kal. ‘Now, let’s get out of here.’

  Bobo had no idea what he was going to say to Kauderer when he got to the meeting spot. Kill Kauderer or lose Jenn. It wasn’t like he had strong feelings for either one. Kauderer was his boss. Jenn was his girl as long as he had enough credits to keep her that way. One thing was certain. Bobo was tired of everyone else knowing more about him than he knew about them.

  He decided to play dumb with Kauderer, since that wouldn’t be much of a stretch.

  ‘You buffoon,’ said Kauderer from the shadows of the stacks. ‘You made such a racket coming up here, I’m surprised you didn’t wake the spirit of the first librarian.’

  Bobo dropped into his chair at the study carrel. ‘What happened to him?’ he asked.

  ‘Who?’

  ‘The first librarian,’ said Bobo with a sigh. ‘I assume something tragic happened or you wouldn’t have mentioned it.’

  ‘He fell off the top bridge while carrying a large load of books,’ said Kauderer. ‘Never mind. What have you learned today?’

  Bobo was glad he’d at least been able to derail Kauderer’s initial anger. Now he needed to feel his way along with just enough truth to draw out what Kauderer already knew about his day.

  ‘None of them seem at all interested in House Helmawr,’ he said. ‘They’re all too caught up in their petty bickering about Hive City contracts.’

  ‘Oh?’

  ‘Princess Jillian wants to get back at Prince Granit with yet another head in the bed,’ said Bobo, ticking off the nobles on his fingers. ‘While the Duke of Ty wants me to blow up some manufacturing plant to honk off the Ran Lo family. Oh, and for a nice diversion from all the infighting, I can go on a gang hunt with Prince Gregor down in the Underhive.’

  ‘What did House Ran Lo want?’ asked Kauderer.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ said Bobo, buying some time. ‘What?’

  He could see Kauderer’s eyes narrow in the gloom. ‘House Ran Lo,’ he said. ‘What did that old bastard want?’

  Bobo could tell by Kauderer’s tone of voice that there was definitely some history between them. ‘Nothing,’ he said, finally. ‘He wanted me to get take care of some contract dispute he was having with House Ty. I think it was over that Hive City plant the duke wanted me to blow up.’

  ‘Hmmm,’ said Kauderer. ‘That doesn’t seem his style. Oh well, give me the particulars about each job and we’ll get started on them. Then maybe something will shake loose from somewhere else. Once everyone in the hive knows you can handle any situation, the assassin will most certainly come to you. Oh, and I’ll need your retainer fees. These will be expensive operations.’

  ‘No,’ said Bobo.

  ‘What do you mean, no?’ snapped Kauderer. ‘Give me the money. It belongs to House Helmawr, not you.’

  ‘No,’ said Bobo again. ‘I mean, I’m not giving you the particulars about the jobs. These jobs are not to be done. Okay?’

  Kauderer began to fume. ‘What?’ he got out at last.

  ‘Don’t you get it?’ asked Bobo. ‘Nobody in any of the other houses has anything to do with the assassination attempt. They’re all too caught up in their own bickering to care about Helmawr. Everything they do hurts people down in Hive City. My people. So, no. That’s it. I’m out.’

  Kauderer exploded out of his chair, towering over Bobo. ‘You’re not out until I say you’re out,’ he said through clenched teeth. Even in the gloom of the library, Bobo felt cowed by the tall man’s overpowering presence. ‘Now give me your instructions and your fees and then go wait in your apartment until I contact you again.’

  Bobo fingered the knife he always kept in his pocket. It was small enough that he could palm it or place it in places where it wouldn’t be found except under the most intense searches, but he knew at least a dozen places
where he could stick it into a man that would result in death.

  He got up and walked away. ‘I threw it all off the bridge before I came in,’ he said as he walked away. It was at least partially true. He’d shredded the instructions and photos and let them drift away on the breeze as he ran across the bridge. The packets full of credits were in a safe place.

  Kauderer let him go. Bobo wasn’t sure he would, but neither of them wanted to draw any attention to their clandestine meeting. Bobo still had his hand on the knife, but he knew he wasn’t safe.

  As he walked, Bobo wondered if he and Jenn could lose themselves in the Underhive before Ran Lo got the word out. But first he had to get to Jenn. ‘I’ve got to get out of the Spire,’ he said to himself as he trudged across the bridge. ‘Away from all of this nasty Spire politics and away from that son of a bitch, Kauderer.’

  As Bobo stepped off the bridge, a voice from the darkness replied. ‘I can help you with that if you’d like.’

  After re-attaching his mechanical arm, Vandal Feg led Kal out of Nemo’s lair through a different secret entrance. Kal wasn’t happy about giving the brute his arm back, but he knew that if this ‘partnership’ was going to work, he needed Feg at his best, and that meant allowing him to have his big, mechanical toy.

  ‘Where are we going?’ asked Kal as they trudged through the tunnel.

  ‘You’ll find out when we get there, Jerico,’ said Feg. He stretched and flexed his muscles, practically scraping the ceiling of the tunnel with the outstretched claws on his mechanical arm. Kal heard a series of pops and cracks, but wasn’t sure if it came from the man’s sore joints or from the big metal arm.

  ‘Feels good to get out of that stretcher,’ said Feg. ‘I owe you one.’

  ‘At least,’ said Kal.

  Feg stopped and whirled around. ‘Just one!’ he said. ‘And I’ll pick when you get it, got it?’

  Kal tossed his hands up. ‘You’re the boss, Vandal,’ he said. ‘Just remember our deal. You give me the package, and if you’re a good boy and don’t try to double-cross me, you’ll even get paid for it.’

  Feg snorted. ‘And where are you going to get that kind of cred?’

  ‘My family has deep pockets,’ said Kal, ‘and at the moment, I hold the purse strings. Now move it. That noble captain won’t buy us much time with Nemo.’

  They continued down the tunnel in silence for a while.

  ‘What set him off on Nemo like that?’ asked Feg. ‘I was sure he’d stay and try to beat the package out of me.’

  Me too, thought Kal before answering. ‘He had some grudge against Nemo, something about blowing him up…’

  Kal’s voice trailed off as they came to a pile of rubble blocking their path.

  ‘Hey, this wasn’t here when I came through earlier,’ said Feg.

  ‘That’s because Nemo blew it up when he saw the royals chasing after you,’ said Kal. ‘Damn, I was right. Who knew?’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Nothing,’ said Kal. ‘Katerin must have found a way through here. You got a light beam on that mechanical arm of yours?’

  Feg glared at Kal but then switched on the beam attached to his mechanical arm and shined it around the pile of rubble. Up towards the top, he halted the beam at what looked to be a small opening.

  ‘I don’t know if I can squeeze through there,’ said Feg. ‘You better go first, skinny.’

  ‘Right,’ said Kal. ‘Like I’m going to fall for that. I’m staying right behind you the whole way, with my guns levelled at your head.’

  Feg shrugged and started to climb the pile. Kal thought he’d won that round a little too easily and decided to stay close in case Feg tried to bolt once he got to the other side. However, right after Feg made it through the hole, he turned off his beam.

  Kal scrambled through the hole and stood up on the other side. A horrible grinding sound made him dive for cover. Feg had his chainsword out.

  The scummer revved the chainsword, which sent off sparks that fell onto the pile about three metres above him. At least now Kal had some idea where he was standing. He shot off two las blasts from his guns, but saw them impact another ten metres past where he thought Feg ought to be. Worse, he felt a low rumbling right after the impact.

  ‘No good, Jerico,’ said Feg. ‘You use those pea shooters in here and the whole place will collapse. Which one of us you think has the better chance to dig his way out?’ he laughed and advanced from the side, sparks flying and outlining his legs as he moved.

  Kal holstered his guns and pulled out his sabre. It didn’t seem much of a fair fight against the chainsword. Then again, Kal didn’t fight fair.

  He stayed low as the brute advanced. Luckily, his eyes were adjusting to the gloom of the tunnel again, so he could see the looming shape before it got to him. Kal grabbed a handful of mortar dust and flung it up high, hoping to hit Feg’s eyes.

  As Vandal screamed, Kal scrambled forward, up the incline of the pile. He swiped at Vandal’s knee with his sabre. The blade bit deep into his flesh but Vandal Feg was one tough bastard, right down to his skin, and Kal didn’t get much power behind the swing.

  Vandal turned and swung his chainsword blindly in a long arc. The tip cut into the shoulder of Kal’s leather coat as he tried to get farther up the pile of debris.

  Kal stood and turned around. He stuck his finger through the hole in his coat and screamed. ‘Look what you did! That is it! You’re a dead man, Feg. I don’t care about the scavving medicine. You cut my coat. Now, I’m going to kill…’

  Vandal cut his tirade short with a roundhouse punch to Kal’s jaw. Kal dropped to the ground. Feg stood over him, waiting for Kal to get up. When he didn’t, Feg said, ‘That’s one, Jerico. And that’s all you get.’

  Feg shut down his chainsword and strode off around the pile of debris and disappeared back into the tunnel.

  Kal rolled over and smiled. ‘One was all I needed, Vandal.’

  Seek and Destroy woke up at the same time, rolled over and looked at each other.

  ‘We’re in deep trouble, brother,’ they said simultaneously. Then they both nodded at each other.

  ‘Let’s get out of here,’ they said in unison, but knocked their heads together as they stood up.

  Destroy pushed his brother back down and opened the secret entrance, and then to make sure they stopped saying the same things, he added, ‘Dinglesnort.’

  ‘What the scav?’ asked Seek.

  ‘I said “dinglesnort”,’ said Destroy. ‘Bet you weren’t expecting that.’

  Seek sat up and pointed behind his brother. ‘No, what the scav is that?’

  Destroy turned around just in time to get slammed into the floor by the flying Wotan.

  The metal mastiff landed on his chest and began barking and growling.

  ‘Get him off me!’ yelled Destroy. ‘Get him off of me!’

  Seek just began to laugh. ‘Ha, ha, ha. I remember this one,’ he said. ‘That dog just loves you.’

  ‘Shoot him, will you?’

  Seek grabbed his lasgun, but then stopped. ‘Jerico drained our power cells, remember?’

  Wotan continued to bark and growl and snap at Destroy’s neck. Seek stood and backed away, edging around the room towards the door.

  ‘Don’t you leave me,’ cried Destroy. ‘Don’t you dare leave me.’

  ‘I was just going to go get some help,’ said Seek. ‘Honest.’

  ‘Liar.’ Destroy got one arm free and put it up over his face, but instead of protecting himself, he just gave Wotan something else to snap at. Wotan closed his jaw around the forearm. Destroy took in a huge breath, getting ready to scream, but there was no pain.

  ‘What the scav?’ he said.

  Wotan backed up, stepping off Destroy’s chest, but held onto the arm, effectively pulling Destroy to his feet. It was either that or lose hi
s arm.

  ‘What’s he doing?’ asked Seek.

  ‘I don’t know but I wish he’d stop.’

  Wotan growled and pulled on Seek, leading him down into Nemo’s lair.

  ‘I’ve got an idea,’ said Seek. He grabbed the stick the ratskin used to tap out the code on the door and tossed it back through the secret entrance.

  Wotan didn’t even seem to notice. He just kept growling and pulling Destroy on into the lair.

  ‘You don’t suppose he’s looking for Jerico, do you?’ asked Destroy.

  Wotan stopped.

  Destroy looked down at the metal mastiff. ‘Jerico?’ he said again.

  Wotan released his arm and barked.

  Destroy nodded at the dog. ‘Sure,’ he said. ‘We’ll take you to Jerico.’ Behind his back, Destroy waved his brother towards the door. He moved forward a little and looked at Wotan.

  ‘Come on, boy,’ he said. ‘This way. Jerico’s down here.’ He moved on and then added. ‘Get Jerico, Wotan. Get Jerico.’

  As soon as the mastiff began running down the steps, Destroy turned and bolted for the door, slapping his brother in the shoulder along the way to get him to run.

  ‘Come on, stupid,’ he said. ‘Let’s get out of here.’

  Seek ran after his brother and tackled him. ‘Don’t call me stupid,’ he said as he began punching.

  9: OVER THE EDGE

  Vandal Feg slipped through the blasted opening of Nemo’s tunnel and stepped onto the roof of the warehouse. He glanced around and then trotted off towards the edge of the roof. Grabbing the rungs of the ladder, he swung around and descended from view.

  Scabbs gave Feg a few moments to reach the bottom before crawling out from beneath the air duct where he’d been hiding for the last hour. He pushed aside the pile of trash in front of him and tiptoed across the roof. He got to the edge just in time to see Feg turn the corner, heading towards the back of the docks.

  ‘I sure hope this works, Kal,’ he muttered as he pulled out the blindsnake pouch he’d snitched from Sonny’s body a few days earlier. He opened the top of the pouch and stuck a finger inside. The gooey paste felt like something he’d avoid stepping on, and when he pulled his paste-covered finger back out, he realized it smelled much worse than anything he’d ever stepped in.