A Place Called Home

by Dilly Court

  He held her close, smiling down at her. ‘It was what anyone would do for a dear friend.’

  ‘A dear friend, of course,’ she said slowly. ‘That’s what you are to me, and I to you.’ She curved her lips into a smile. This was not how she had imagined their reunion would be. Bram seemed distant, despite his outward show of cheerfulness, and there was a wary look in his eyes. Something had changed between them, but she was at a loss to know why.

  The kettle was bubbling merrily on the hob and she moved away. ‘I’ll make some tea,’ she said, avoiding his gaze. ‘You must be hungry. There’s bread in the crock. Bertie is very good at baking and I’m learning to cook, although it doesn’t always turn out as I’d wish.’ She was babbling and she knew it, but Bram was sitting at the table watching her in silence. ‘I can boil an egg for you. Lugg gives us eggs and flour in return for some of Bertie’s bread.’

  ‘A cup of tea will be fine. I’ll eat later.’

  She filled two cups and placed one in front of him, taking a seat on the opposite side of the table. ‘Was Granny very upset and confused?’

  ‘Froniga thinks she’ll recover in time.’

  Lucy could stand it no longer. She looked him in the eye. ‘What aren’t you telling me, Bram?’

  ‘I met some of your friends in the circus.’

  ‘I had quite a lot of acquaintances. I wouldn’t say they were all friends.’

  ‘Monty wanted to know when you were going to return.’

  ‘I did say I’d go back when my arm healed, but I’m not a performer. It was just a way to earn some money. After all, I had to live, and I hoped to raise the money to pay Mr Goldspink.’

  ‘He’s paid in full.’

  She was suddenly angry. ‘What’s the matter? Why are you looking at me like that?’

  ‘I also met Stella. She told me all about your affair with Monty.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘She said that you and he were lovers. I can’t put it any plainer.’

  ‘And you believed her?’ Lucy leapt to her feet. ‘That woman tried to kill me. She caused my accident, and it wasn’t the first time she’d tried to get rid of me.’

  ‘She said you took her place in the ring as well as in his affections.’

  ‘You only have to ask Froniga and she’ll tell you what really happened. As to Monty, I liked him well enough, and he was good to me, but there was never anything romantic between us.’

  ‘He’s a good-looking fellow. I wouldn’t blame you for taking the easy way out.’

  ‘I should slap your silly face for saying that.’ Lucy glared at him, clenching her fists at her sides. ‘You are a stupid man, Bramwell Southwood. In fact, I think all men are equally idiotic.’ She broke off as the door opened and Bertie strolled into the kitchen looking bleary-eyed and half asleep. He came to a halt, running his hand through his already tousled mop of hair as he stared at Bram in disbelief.

  ‘I heard voices and I thought it was Lugg.’

  Bram stood up, holding out his arms. ‘It’s me all right. Are you too grown-up to give your uncle a hug?’

  Lucy moved away, choking back the tears that threatened to overcome her. It was not only the injustice of the accusations Stella had made against her; the fact that Bram had chosen to believe her was even more hurtful. She placed the kettle on the hob. ‘I want to see Granny,’ she said when she could trust herself to speak. ‘As soon as the horse is rested I’ll ride to Colchester.’

  ‘It’s a good ten miles,’ Bram said sharply. ‘You can’t go alone.’

  ‘I’m quite capable of riding that far, and I want to see Granny. You should have brought her here. Never mind Linus. I’m past caring about him.’

  ‘You wouldn’t say that if you’d seen him in a fit of temper,’ Bertie said in a low voice. ‘Let Bram go with you.’

  ‘Someone must stay here with you children.’ Lucy faced them angrily. ‘And from what I saw of that poor old nag he’d collapse under the weight of two people. I’m going and that’s that.’

  Bram’s brow creased into furrows and he shook his head. ‘You can’t go alone. I wouldn’t put it past Linus to have had me followed. You wouldn’t stand a chance of getting away on that poor creature.’

  ‘Let Pa try to take me and the girls and he’ll have a fight on his hands,’ Bertie said, drawing himself up to his full height. ‘I’m a man now and I’ll look after my sisters.’

  ‘Of course you will.’ Lucy patted him on the shoulder. ‘And I’m proud of you, Bertie.’ She turned to Bram. ‘If you’d lend me the money to repay Linus the sixty guineas I could go home and take Granny and the children with me.’

  He shook his head. ‘Sit down, Lucy. I wanted to give you the good news first, that Eva is safe and in good hands, but the real reason I took so long to get here is that Linus sent the bailiffs into the house in Leman Street soon after you’d left. He’s taking you to court in an attempt to bankrupt you so that he can seize your assets. I gave Goldspink the money to repay him but he rejected the offer.’

  ‘You said that Hester and Bedwin were coping well. Why did you lie to me?’ Lucy gazed at him in horror. ‘But why would he do such a thing?’

  ‘They are managing well, and they’re still in residence, but they’re fully aware of what Linus intends. As I understand it his debts are crippling. I heard that he’s already lost the house in Albemarle Street, and this one will be next. He’s a desperate man who’ll stop at nothing. Even if I gave him the money I received from selling my commission it wouldn’t make a scrap of difference. He’s virtually bankrupt and he won’t be happy until he ruins the pair of us.’

  Lucy sank down on the nearest chair. ‘I won’t let him do this. Why should he take what’s mine and rob you of the money that’s rightfully yours?’

  ‘I’ll knock his block off,’ Bertie muttered, dancing about like a prize fighter. ‘I’ll take him on man to man.’

  ‘I know you would, dear,’ she said gently. ‘But it’s gone beyond that. What did Mr Goldspink say, Bram?’

  ‘He said he’ll do what he can. I think you should allow him to do his work, Lucy. He didn’t think it wise for you to return to London just yet, given the fact that Linus will use the law to take the children from you. But I think we should leave this house before Linus’s spies tell him you’re here.’

  Dazed, Lucy considered all the facts that had been thrust upon her. ‘What will happen to Hester and Bedwin and our lodgers? Surely they won’t be evicted?’

  ‘We have to leave it to Goldspink. He might be a funny little chap, but he knows what he’s doing.’ Bram reached out to take her hand in his. ‘There’s one place we can go where Linus will never think of looking.’

  They left that night. Bram and Bertie had found an ancient dog cart in the coach house and with Lugg’s help they had made it roadworthy. The horse had recovered and seemed accustomed to being put between the shafts, and with Lucy seated up front and the children huddled in the back of the vehicle, Bram climbed up on the driver’s seat and they set off under cover of darkness.

  It was a chilly, starlit night, but Lucy had taken coverlets from the beds so that the children would be warm and comfortable and they soon fell asleep. She herself was wide awake, struggling with the reality of Linus’s fall from grace and his determination to take them with him on his spiralling descent into bankruptcy and disgrace. ‘You mustn’t worry,’ Bram said as if reading her thoughts. ‘You can trust Goldspink. He’s a good man.’

  ‘But Linus isn’t. He’s cruel and he’s devious, and for some reason he wants to ruin us all.’

  ‘Let’s hope his creditors get him before he can do any more harm. In the meantime you and the nippers will be safe with the circus folk. Froniga will see to that, and you can look after Eva.’ He shot her a sideways glance. ‘I’m sure Monty will be glad to have you back.’

  ‘I’ll ignore that last comment,’ Lucy said with dignity. ‘I didn’t have much choice in the matter when I was with the circus, but I did enjoy th
e applause and the rush of excitement before the grand parade. Perhaps I take after my mother after all.’

  ‘Goldspink said you’d asked him if he could find out anything about her.’

  ‘She can’t have disappeared without a trace. She must be somewhere.’

  ‘How old were you when she left?’

  ‘Two.’

  ‘A lot can happen in nineteen years.’

  ‘I know, but I can always hope.’

  Their progress was slow and they had to stop several times to allow the horse to drink from a nearby pond or stream and rest his ageing bones. Lucy dozed a little, waking suddenly to find herself leaning against Bram’s shoulder. He seemed tireless, but eventually as the sun rose in a cloudless sky they approached the field where the big top loomed above the caravans, tents and wagons. Already there were signs of life as wood smoke billowed upwards from newly lit camp fires. The animals were restive in their cages, waiting to be fed and watered, and sleepy-looking artistes, tenters and trainers were beginning to emerge and begin their daily routine.

  Froniga’s tent had been set up a short distance from the others: Lucy left Bram and the children to wait by the entrance as she hurried across the tussocky grass. She lifted the flap slowly. ‘Froniga? Can I come in?’

  Froniga was already up and dressed. She emerged to give Lucy a warm embrace. ‘You’ve come. I knew you would.’

  Lucy glanced anxiously over her shoulder. ‘How is she?’

  ‘Still sleeping. She sleeps a lot, but then that’s to be expected. The poor soul is worn to the bone after her experiences in prison. She should never have been put there in the first place.’

  ‘Is she ill?’

  ‘Not in body, but the spirit seems to have gone from her. Perhaps seeing you will bring her back to her normal self. Have you come to take her home?’

  ‘There might be a bit of a problem,’ Lucy said softly. ‘I’ll tell you all about it, but first I want you to meet my young charges. They’re tired because we’ve been travelling all night, but they’re very excited to be here. I hope Monty doesn’t mind.’

  ‘Mind what?’ Monty’s voice behind her made Lucy spin round to face him.

  ‘I didn’t hear you coming.’

  ‘I tread like a panther when I want to.’ He held out his hand. ‘Welcome home, Lucy. I see your arm is healed. Are you ready to perform again?’

  She managed a weary smile. ‘I don’t think so, but I have a favour to ask.’

  ‘Perhaps it would be better if you came to my caravan.’ Monty glanced at Bram and the children. ‘Bring your family with you.’

  Seated on the grass outside the Charters’ van, the children took in their new surroundings wide-eyed and silent, but Lucy suspected that at any moment their excitement might bubble over into a torrent of questions and requests. Bertram had welcomed them cordially and he sat in his chair like a king on his throne, ruling his small world with dignity and good humour. ‘You are welcome to remain with us for as long as you like, but as Lucy knows, everyone has to pitch in and do their bit.’

  Bram nodded enthusiastically. ‘I’ve just left the hussars, sir. I’m more than happy to work with the horses and help in any way I can.’

  Monty had been leaning against the side of the van but this last remark seemed to catch his attention. ‘You’ll be an excellent horseman, of course.’

  ‘Tolerably so, sir.’

  Monty turned to his father. ‘We might have an addition to the act, Father. I have an idea that would suit both Bram and Lucy.’

  Vicky raised her hand as if she were in the classroom. ‘Please, sir. I’d like to wear a spangled dress and be in the circus too.’

  ‘And me,’ Maggie added eagerly.

  ‘I could be a clown or a strong man,’ Bertie volunteered. ‘And I’m a good baker too.’

  Bertram reached over to ruffle Bertie’s hair. ‘Well, my boy, we might make use of your talents, and there’s always work to do.’ He glanced at his son. ‘They’ll need a tent, Monty. Have we any spare?’

  ‘I’m sure I can find something suitable, Father.’ Monty beckoned to the children. ‘Come with me. I’ll show you round and you can give me a hand.’ He turned to give Bram a cursory look. ‘You too, soldier. Setting up a tent is man’s work.’

  ‘It won’t be the first time I’ve done it,’ Bram said grimly. ‘I’ve spent most of my career living under canvas.’

  Lucy found herself left alone with Bertram. ‘I hope Stella doesn’t get the wrong idea again,’ she said in a low voice. ‘I don’t want to cause an upset.’

  ‘Stella will do as she’s told, my dear.’ Bertram gave her a reassuring smile. ‘And I hope you might be persuaded to perform again. Pretty girls in fancy costumes are always a hit with audiences, especially the men.’

  Lucy stood up. ‘Thank you, Mr Charter. I’ll think about it.’

  ‘And I can see that you’re eager to be reunited with your grandmother. I hear that she’s making steady progress, although it’s early days yet.’

  ‘You know about her?’

  ‘My dear, I know everything that occurs in our tiny world.’

  Lucy hurried back to the tent, arriving just as Froniga was helping Eva to get dressed. She hesitated. ‘Granny, it’s me, Lucy.’

  Leaning on Froniga, Eva turned her head slowly. Her eyes, which had once burned with the lust for life, were dull and expressionless, sunken and underlined with dark circles. Her once rosy cheeks were ashen and her fiery curls were streaked with grey. She stared at Lucy as if trying to place her.

  ‘It’s your granddaughter, Eva,’ Froniga said gently.

  Eva shook her head. ‘Lucy is ten years old. She can’t be my little girl.’

  Lucy slipped her hand inside her blouse and pulled out the locket. Unfastening the chain, she held it up for Eva to see. ‘I am still your little girl, but I’ve grown up now. You gave me this on my eleventh birthday, Granny. You left it for me at the house in Albemarle Street. Don’t you remember?’

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  EVA SNATCHED THE locket and chain, clutching it in her hand. ‘You stole it from the child. It’s Lucy’s.’

  Froniga pressed her down on the pile of cushions. ‘A nice cup of tea is what you need, my dear.’ She sent Lucy a warning look. ‘The kettle’s boiling.’

  ‘I’ll see to it.’ Lucy backed out of the tent, her dreams of a blissful reunion shattered. Somehow she managed to make a pot of tea without scalding herself, but her hand shook as she passed a cup to Eva. ‘I remember how you like it, Granny. Strong and sweet with two sugars.’

  Eva snatched the cup, spilling some of the hot tea on the grass. ‘Ta,’ she muttered, taking a sip. ‘It’s better than the stuff they give you in clink.’

  Froniga gave Lucy an encouraging smile. ‘Why don’t you sit with Eva for a while? She might feel like talking when she’s had her drink. I’ll go and see if Jenny has any bread to spare.’

  ‘We had gruel for breakfast in jail,’ Eva muttered. ‘It was pigswill. I ain’t going back there, not ever.’

  ‘Of course not. I’ll look after you now. You’re safe.’ Lucy struggled to control the tears that burned her eyes. Her throat ached, but she was determined not to cry. She must be strong or she would not be able to rescue this broken woman from the hell she still inhabited. She slipped her arm around Eva’s shoulders. ‘It’s all right, Granny. I’ve come to take you home, but first we must get you better.’

  Eva gulped her tea. ‘I sold my girl for fifteen pounds. I deserve to be punished.’ She tossed the tin cup out of the tent and threw herself back on the cushions in a storm of weeping. Lucy sat beside her, at a loss as to how to comfort her.

  After what seemed like an eternity, Froniga returned bringing bread, butter and jam. She glanced at Eva, shaking her head. ‘She’s been like this ever since we brought her here. Leave her, Lucy. She’ll quieten down in a while and then she’ll sleep.’

  Lucy rose from the floor and followed Froniga outside. The sun was wa
rm on her face and the air was fresh and clean, in contrast to the stuffiness inside the tent. ‘Will she get better? I can’t bear seeing her like this.’

  ‘I don’t know, my duck. They say that time heals all so you’ll have to wait and see. She needs rest, good food and quiet. This isn’t perhaps the best place for her.’ Froniga sat cross-legged on the ground, placing the bread on a small plank of wood and producing a knife as if from nowhere. She chuckled. ‘It was in my pocket. I don’t dare leave anything sharp in the tent in case Eva decides to go on the rampage.’

  Lucy sat down beside her. ‘She isn’t violent.’

  ‘I haven’t found her so, but you never know. She’s had to fight for every crumb of food and sip of water while she was inside. Who knows what she suffered.’

  ‘Well, I’ll look after her from now on. But, as I said earlier, there’s a problem.’

  Froniga put her head on one side, pausing with the knife poised. ‘I don’t need my crystal ball to tell me that the problem might be your cousin.’

  ‘He mustn’t find us or he’ll take the children. He’s trying to have me declared bankrupt so that my house is forfeit. He’s already sold the one in Albemarle Street, and Marriott Park will be next, because he’s lost everything at the gaming tables.’

  Froniga buttered a slice of bread and handed it to her. ‘Help yourself to jam. Jenny makes it herself and sells it. We’ll save the rest for that man of yours and the nippers.’

  ‘He’s not my man,’ Lucy said, spreading jam on her bread. ‘Bram is just a friend.’

  ‘Hmm.’ Froniga took a bite of food, saying nothing.

  In the end two smallish tents were found and erected: one for Bram and Bertie and the other for Lucy and the girls. It was decided that Eva was best left in Froniga’s care and she herself was not in any state to have an opinion. Acting on an appeal by Bertram, the circus people rallied around to find palliasses and blankets, donating other small comforts which they thought might make the tents more homely.

  Everyone seemed pleased to see Lucy, with the exception of Stella, who made it clear that nothing had changed. She caught up with her outside the big top where Bram was about to show Monty what he could do. ‘I know what you’re up to,’ she hissed. ‘Monty’s mine, so hands off.’