DEATHLOOP

by G. Brailey

  “I’ve heard so much about you,” said Veronica to Clarissa, trying her best to break the ice.

  “All bad I expect,” said Clarissa, with a dismissive little laugh.

  “Not at all,” said Veronica, wracking her brain to think of something else to say.

  “You should have come tonight,” said Zack, irritated still that Sam had turned down the invitation, “it was fun.”

  “Not my cup of tea I’m afraid.”

  “Sam’s a philistine, basically,” said Zack to Veronica, with a little smile.

  “No I am not,” said Sam, “not a bit of it, but splodges on canvas I can do without.” Everyone smiled, but the tension had gone up a notch.

  Clarissa decided that Veronica was by far the most beautiful woman Zack had ever dated and that was saying something. She was rather intimidated by Veronica and found herself loathing her for no real reason other than her desirability and a deference Zack was showing her she’d never seen before.

  “Where is your gallery?” asked Clarissa, rather awkwardly, as though she wasn’t remotely interested in the reply.

  “Not far from Zack’s… Puddlewell Lane. It’s a great location, but the cellar floods when it rains so storage is a bit tricky.”

  Inwardly, Zack brightened at this, hoping for a storm of Derbyshire proportions which would render the Italian sculptures completely worthless with a bit of luck.

  “And are you an artist too?” Sam asked of Miriam, rather pompously.

  “Interior design,” she replied.

  “Ah,” said Sam, as if that explained everything.

  “You work with Zack, Sam,” said Veronica, ploughing on after a few moments.

  “Yes, I do, but mostly I catch him when he falls… and that’s pretty much a full time occupation these days.”

  Zack nailed Sam with the nastiest look in his repertoire and Sam was well aware of this even though he chose to look elsewhere. When the waiter came up they ordered and now without menus to hide behind, conversation ground to a halt.

  “What do you do, Clarissa?” asked Miriam, attempting to move attention elsewhere.

  “Absolutely nothing at all,” said Sam, before Clarissa could reply. “Any more questions I can help you with?”

  “So…” said Zack, to no one in particular after a brief silence.

  When Sam got up and excused himself, Zack followed right behind, leaving the women smiling stiffly at each other.

  “Should we be worried?” asked Veronica of Clarissa, nodding after them.

  “A tiff, that’s all,” said Clarissa, grandly, “boys eh?”

  “What the hell is wrong with you?” said Zack to Sam, pushing him into the gents.

  “There’s nothing wrong with me!” said Sam, turning on him.

  “Don’t give me that bullshit, Sam, you agreed to come here so be civil to my girlfriend if you don’t mind.”

  “Girlfriend? Oh please…” spat out Sam, “you’ve only known her for two minutes.”

  “And?”

  “And… she’ll be on the scrap heap this time next week with all the other screwballs.”

  “No she won’t because we’re getting married for your information.”

  Sam’s eyes widened in disbelief then he threw his head back and roared. “Don’t be an idiot,” said Sam, “you’re married to yourself, mate, and you always will be.”

  “If you don’t make a bloody effort we’ll get up and walk out, I’m warning you, Sam, stop pulling rank.”

  When they were in their second year at Cambridge, a new guy, Nick Mallik, handsome and charismatic, began vying for Zack’s attention, which put Sam’s nose out of joint straight away.

  Ostracised from his own set for stealing and general louche behaviour he decided to ingratiate himself with Zack. Zack’s head was turned by the glamorous newcomer, especially as Nick’s drug habit was prodigious and second only to his own. One night, when they were all seriously stoned on some lethal skunk, rightly presuming Zack to be out of it, Sam threatened Nick by telling him that Zack and he went back a long, long way… “so what I say goes, and what I say is this you bastard… just fuck off out of it and leave Zack Fortune alone before I do it for you,” said Sam, drawing a finger from one side of his neck to the other.

  Earlier in the week, Nick had shared a tab of acid with Zack only to be freaked out by Sam who had traipsed round after them all afternoon like a persistent stray. Nick had complained to Zack that Sam was a malevolent little goblin with evil powers and he was shit scared of him. Possibly this was why Nick ran out into the street that night and flagging down a taxi, left Cambridge never to return. Following Nick’s disappearance Zack accused Sam of pulling rank to get rid of his new best friend.

  “So what if I did?” said Sam with a shrug, “bloody worked didn’t it?” And it did, it worked every time.

  “Listen, mate, I don’t give a shit about the new girlfriend.”

  “No?”

  “No.”

  “Oh I think you do. I saw the way you looked at us when we came in.”

  “Bollocks,” said Sam, annoyed that Zack had clocked this.

  “You know it’s different this time, you knew that right away, so bollocks to you, you fucking little midget.”

  Two young gay guys walked in catching the tail end of the argument and throwing them an inclusive smile which was enough to send Zack and Sam stomping back out again into the restaurant, frustrated at losing their venue mid row.

  Luckily food arrived soon after they returned to the table but Clarissa knew immediately they had had words and serious words at that. Clarissa had often longed to have Sam to herself but now that seemed more likely she found herself curiously depressed at the prospect, and as she gazed over at Zack she became increasingly panicked at the thought of losing him for good. Zack met her gaze and rolled his eyes which said ‘that bloody Sam Stein’, and she smiled back which said, ‘yes I know, you don’t have to tell me’. They didn’t even have to speak these days they knew each other so well, and here they were within a whisker, or so it seemed to Clarissa, of throwing it all away.

  “I’d love to come to the gallery and look around,” said Clarissa to Veronica a few moments later, “if that’s okay.”

  “Oh sure, any time, you’re very welcome,” said Veronica thinking that Clarissa was trying to make it up to her for Sam’s rudeness, but the truth was, she was trying to make it up to Zack.

  Everyone was relieved when the meal was over. Refusing dessert and coffee they stood up to go.

  “I’ll pay,” said Zack.

  “No you won’t,” said Sam.

  “I will, Sam, so shut up about it.”

  “Let’s split it,” said Sam, knowing full well what Zack thought about that.

  “Bugger off, dwarf,” said Zack under his breath, relieved that the girls were in the lobby and out of earshot.

  When Sam threw his credit card at a passing waiter’s tray, Zack put his hands up in surrender, turned on his heels and followed the girls outside where they all went through the motions of wishing each other goodnight.

  Neither Veronica nor Miriam made mention of the dinner in the taxi on the way home, in fact it was only when Veronica and Zack arrived back at Claremont, after dropping Miriam in Islington, that they felt safe enough to say anything at all.

  “I’m really sorry about that,” said Zack, “I don’t know what got into him tonight, pissed maybe. He was a little threatened by you I think… well, I don’t think, I know.”

  “Clarissa was, certainly. Is she always so jealous of your girlfriends?”

  “What?”

  “She adores you, Zack.”

  “Clarissa?”

  “Clarissa.”

  “We’re old friends, sure we are, but nothing else.”

  “You want to bet?” she said, with a grin.

  In their cab on the way home Sam accused Clarissa of being unnaturally interested in Veronica.

  “You couldn’t take your eyes off her,”
said Sam, “not turning gay in our old age are we, dear?”

  “Oh and you could?”

  “I had nothing to say to the woman.”

  “Nothing pleasant, no…”

  “Yeah, well… maybe the joke’s beginning to wear a bit thin.”

  “Meaning?”

  “The disaster that is Zack Fortune of course…”

  Clarissa had never heard Sam say anything detrimental about Zack before and to hear this now seemed almost surreal. “So the party’s over at last?” said Clarissa, quietly, “is that it?”

  “Looks like it is Clarissa,” said Sam, tapping her on the knee, “so there we are, be careful of what you wish for, old girl.”

  CHAPTER 18

  As Zack made his way up to Nymans in the lift on Monday morning he felt relieved and confident and raring to go. Despite all his misgivings about his role in life this was just what he needed right now, order, routine, and purposeful goals. The two police matters notwithstanding, Zack felt things were beginning to settle down. His weekend with Veronica had been wonderful, despite the awkward dinner at Bellini’s on Friday night. And even that, when he analysed it, encouraged him. Sam was, as usual, being Sam, threatened by anyone who might steal him away, so it was flattering really, it meant that the guy still cared. That Clarissa cared that much at all however was something new, and Zack had found himself allowing more thinking time to this than he should have done.

  The horrors of the last couple of weeks now seemed thankfully distanced, they had wreaked their havoc, certainly, but they had ultimately failed in their efforts to derail him. He was still Zack Fortune, effortlessly handsome, intelligent, rich, powerful and dynamic, and with all the nasty bits hidden away from view. As Zack strolled into his office he was even more buoyed up to see Rose buzzing round his desk like a bee round a hive.

  “Mr Fortune,” she said, without looking up.

  “Miss Crawford,” he replied, “God, Rose, I’ve missed you.”

  Rose maintained her composure and although Zack’s comment had now been locked away in her secret filing cabinet labelled ‘wonderful moments that would often be returned to’, she still managed to look slightly disapproving of her wayward boss as she continued her relentless quest to provide him with the perfect work surface from which to cast his spells.

  “The Wahlbergs are due at 10. Will you meet with them here or in Geoff’s office? You’ll want catering I expect.”

  “Not here, that’s for sure.”

  As Rose drifted off towards the door, Zack’s voice stopped her.

  “I mean it, Rose. Some of us are reassured by the six o’clock news, some by the chimes of Big Ben, but for me… it’s Rose Crawford here in my office every damn time.”

  This caused Rose to turn round and look at him. It was a curious look, as though she had just heard something she never thought she would hear in a million years. She nodded, and although it was like she was considering a smile, as usual, she resisted and went off.

  A few moments later, Zack made his way to Sam’s office, but Sam waved him away. He was on the phone and whoever he was speaking to seemed to be giving him a hard time, so Zack went in search of Geoff.

  “He’s in Geneva,” said Sharon, as though Zack really should pay more attention to these things.

  “Of course he is, I forgot about that.”

  “Anyway, how are we?” said Sharon “feeling better now?”

  Zack had always thought Sharon extremely thick, too thick for irony anyway he assured himself as he told her that yes he was much better now, thanks for asking. When he returned to Sam’s office he found him stomping round his room like a little clockwork toy.

  “All right?” asked Zack.

  Sam shrugged, threw himself down on his couch and sighed. They looked at each other, neither quite sure what to say, then Sam stood up again and shot back to his desk like a homing pigeon.

  “The Wahlbergs are in today aren’t they?”

  “Indeed they are.”

  “Well try not to knock them out, mate, or drown them in a river or…” as Sam’s words trailed away both men came to stillness.

  After the required silence Zack said: “Well I’ll try not to, but no promises though Sam. Hell… you know me.”

  Zack returned to his office and closed the door behind him feeling like someone had just punctured his balloon of confidence with a sharp pin. He was waiting for Sam to come in and apologize but he didn’t and after half an hour or so Zack realised he wouldn’t.

  Later that day Zack managed to trick the Wahlbergs into thinking he actually cared about getting them the very best private equity funds the city could deliver. He was on auto pilot, but they didn’t spot it. For all their well-documented business acumen they failed to realise they were dealing with a fraud. This was heartening to Zack, of course it was, he hadn’t lost his touch after all, but it was also depressing. If he could trick the Wahlbergs into thinking he was the man for the job then he could do it with anyone, and where was the challenge in that?

  For the next few weeks Zack kept a very low profile. He barely saw Sam because he got the distinct impression that Sam actually didn’t want to see him. Once in the corridor, when he came across him talking confidentially with Geoff their conversation ground to a halt as Zack passed by, only to start up again when Zack was out of earshot. This got to Zack. The idea of Sam conspiring with the enemy was too much, in truth, the idea of Sam conspiring with anyone other than Zack was too much. So Zack stuck his head in the sand and tried to ignore it.

  Then, out of the blue one day Clarissa called up.

  “My God, Clarissa, how are you?” said Zack, delighted to hear her voice.

  Clarissa asked Zack to pop over. Zack was curious about the phone call, but keen to see Clarissa just to get the low down on Sam if nothing else. And they were nervous when they met up, like clandestine lovers he thought to himself as she led him into the flat

  “So how are you,” she asked, tentatively.

  “Great actually, and you?”

  “Okay I suppose,” said Clarissa, who looked anything but, “and Veronica? How is she?”

  “Wonderful, she’s saved my life.”

  “I’m glad to hear it,” said Clarissa, clearly not glad to hear anything of the sort, “so… any more dead people?”

  “No, not one, it’s over.”

  “Well that’s something,” said Clarissa, relieved.

  “Sam doesn’t want to know me anymore, has he told you?” said Zack, after a few moments.

  Clarissa looked at him, surprised he had actually come out and said this. “He’s having some kind of crisis I think,” said Clarissa sinking into the Chesterfield and tucking her legs up beneath her.

  “What kind of crisis?”

  “Well I’m not sure. It’s like… he’s torn between how he used to be and how he thinks he should be. I can’t explain it. You’ve met his folks?”

  “Yes, unfortunately, I have.”

  “In the end maybe he’s just reverted to type.”

  Clarissa was only confirming Zack’s worst fears, but to hear them said out loud like this depressed him.

  “He adored you, you know that,” said Clarissa after a few moments, Zack even more depressed to note that she was using the past tense, “and he was always so grateful to you for Cambridge. If you hadn’t come along I don’t think he’d have stayed the course. Well, we all know he wouldn’t, he’s said it often enough.”

  “So what are you saying… he’s done with being grateful, is that it? Or am I just too much of a liability these days?”

  “I don’t know what’s up with him at the moment, but I do know that I miss you more than I ever thought I would.”

  “We were good together, the three of us,” said Zack, trying to keep the conversation light.

  “We were married, you know we were, and although we often despaired of the tensions that brought, this is the alternative and I actually can’t bear it,” said Clarissa with a surprising catc
h in her voice. “I’ve dropped the spooky stuff by the way. Look what it’s done to us, after all.”

  Wary of opening up old wounds Zack thought it best to ignore this, but he was relieved to hear it none the less.

  “What was wrong with Sam at Bellini’s, was he pissed?”

  “Not really, he was just in a bloody awful mood.”

  “I’d given him such good press too, telling Veronica how great he was, how great you both were…”

  “Oh God, I’m sorry, Zack.”

  “Remember Nick Mallik?”

  “Who?”

  “Nick Mallik, from Cambridge.”

  “Oh him, yes,” said Clarissa.

  “He was the only guy I’ve ever known who could keep up with me. In the drugs department, that is…”

  “That’s what Sam was afraid of.”

  “He chased him away you know, literally.”

  “I know he did, and he wasn’t the only one was he?”

  “It was the same thing at Bellini’s, that smug superiority.”

  “I want it to be like it was, don’t you?”

  “Yes, of course I do.”

  “Maybe it’s a phase, do you think?” she asked, hopefully.

  “Has he said anything about me going back to Nymans?”

  “He said he thought you were just about holding it together.”

  Zack let out a little laugh. “Not a bad assessment.”

  “He’s become so… obsessed lately.”

  “Obsessed?”

  “With work… I always used to think he was on the verge of quitting, but he’s become so driven. Geoff this, Geoff that…”

  “Angling for promotion I guess,” said Zack with a shrug, “and how about you Clarissa, what do you want from life these days?

  “I can’t tell you that, Zack,” she said, quietly, “that would be unfair.”

  On his way back to the office Zack’s head was full of his conversation with Clarissa. He knew that without Veronica this state of affairs would have been completely intolerable and he would have confronted Sam long before now and had it out with him. But Veronica was such a welcome distraction that the crisis of his stalled relationship with Sam was less than it might have been. Clarissa on the other hand had no such distraction, and he could see she was bereft.