Second You Sin - Sherman, Scott
Page 31
“Thanks,” Tony said. He shook Paul’s hand, and then, surprising me and, I think Paul, too, gave him a hug.
Paul left.
Tony sat on the floor facing me. “So. I think it’s time we talked.”
I just nodded.
“You were right. Iwashiding something from you.”
When Tony first showed up at the door, I’d been struck dumb. Then, I went numb.
Now? I could have exploded with anger.
“ Ason?You were hiding a son from me? An entire human being named Rafi?” I couldn’t believe this was happening.
“His name is actually Raphael,” Tony corrected me.
That made sense. I couldn’t see Tony naming his son “Rafi.” Tony’s family was very Italian and Rafi isn’t really a . . . wait a minute . . .
Who cares about the kid’s name?
Focus, Kevin, focus.
“Raphael was your big secret?”
“Well, at least now you know who I took to see Super Rangers.”
“This isn’t funny!”
“I know, I know. I’ve had a lot longer to imagine what it was going to be like telling you this than you’ve had to hear it. Sorry. But when we talk about this, and we will, whenever you’re ready, I think you’ll see this explains a lot.”
There had been times in the past when I thought Tony had hurt me, but this was the cruelest blow of all.
“How could you not have told me you had a son, Tony?”
Usually, when I got mad at Tony, he’d get mad right back. Not today. He didn’t seem defensive, or upset, or hurt.
He looked, for the first time in a long time, totally at peace. He looked . . .relieved.It kind of freaked me out.
“Kevin, I had a million reasons not to tell you about Rafi. At first, I didn’t say anything because I thought it’d scare you away. Then, when you started talking about how you wanted to have kids, I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to get your hopes up. I couldn’t see two men raising a child together. Then, I didn’t tell you because I hadn’t told you for so long that I knew you’d be mad at me for not telling you sooner. Should I go on?”
“No,” I answered, realizing that none of that mattered. There was only one question that did.
My entire world hung on the answer.
Howdo you knowif it’s love or if it’s pain?
It was time to find out.
Tony saw the question in my eyes.
He leaned over and put his hands on my cheeks, brushing my bangs off my face.
“Ask me,” he said.
I turned into his palm and rubbed my face against it like a cat.
“I’m afraid.”
“You don’t have to be. Not anymore. I promise.”
You know Daddy always keeps his promises, he’d told Rafi.
How easy it was for a child to trust.
Could I be that brave?
Less than twenty-four hours ago, I had a knife at my throat and was facing death.
This was scarier.
OK, here goes nothing,I thought.Forget about what happened before.
“Why are you telling me about Rafinow?”
Tony took my hands in his and smiled like a kid in school who’d just been handed a test and realized he had all the right answers.
And you know what?
He did.
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