“What the hell is going on with you?” Declan asked, pulling me aside.
“Nothing,” I said grouchy. My eyes darted to the annoying redhead laughing obnoxiously over at the table with Casper. Declan looked over her shoulder and then rolled her eyes at me.
“Alex, you can’t get mad every time Casper takes a girl home. You didn’t want him, remember?”
“I still don’t.”
“Yeah, okay. Maybe if you didn’t have your head so far up your stubborn ass you would admit you like him.” I glared at her. “I know you’re upset about Reece and I’m sorry you had to find out the way you did, but the best way to get over that is to move on. And I know the perfect person to help you with that.” She gestured in Capser’s direction. “You’re both fucking miserable and driving Colton and I nuts because neither of you can admit you like each other.”
“He really looks like he’s suffering.” I glared at them from the dark corner Declan had pulled me into. “Besides, it was one night. You don’t fall in love with someone after one night.” She raised her brows. “You know what I mean.”
“Maybe you should explain it to me?” Her gloating smile made me want to shove her on her ass.
“Look, Casper can go home with whoever he wants.” I walked away not wanting to have this conversation. Ever since I dumped the cheating bastard, Declan has been trying to push me to start talking to Casper again. I wasn’t ready. He tried to warn me about Reece but I wouldn’t listen and on top of that I destroyed our friendship in the process.
I wanted so badly to run over to him and kiss him. I wanted him to touch me the way he did when we made love. I wanted…him. I should just go over there and tell him. He was over at one of the tables, shooting pool. I watched him concentrate on his next shot. He wasn’t his usual drunken self. I think the most he had to drink tonight was three or four beers and I wondered what was wrong. As if he knew I was thinking about him he looked up, his eyes meeting mine. I crumbled under his stare. My legs were shaking and my heart was melting.
“Casper!” someone shouted, bringing me back to reality. I shook my head and tried to concentrate on work.
I gazed at the clock. It was only half past twelve and the night was dragging. I wanted nothing more than to just crash in my bed and sleep for days. Declan nudged me to let me know there was a customer. I turned around to take their order and I froze. Damn it. She did this on purpose. “Hey,” he said, leaning his elbows on the bar.
“Hey,” I replied. “Can I get you something?”
“Just a beer,” he said, flashing his cocky smile, indicating it was more than that. I refilled his glass and slid the mug in his direction. When he reached for it, his fingers brushed mine and I felt a sudden rush. His eyes darted down to where our fingers touched; a drop of sweat from the glass hit my finger. I pulled back. Casper sighed, but didn’t walk away. “How was your thanksgiving?” he asked.
“Are you fucking serious?” I snapped. “You gonna gloat that you were right and now rub it in my face? You’re a real fucking piece of work.”
“Alex, no, that’s not what I meant.” He stood up, hand stretched out. I backed up. I couldn’t take it anymore. Too many emotions were swirling in my. I felt dizzy. My chest tightened and I couldn’t breathe. “Alex…”
“I can’t do this right now.” I found Declan. “Tell Gus I wasn’t feeling well and went home.”
Her eyes showed worry. “Are you okay?”
“No and I need to get out of here.” I grabbed my things, walking out the door. I practically ran out of the club.
“Alex!” Casper shouted after me. He followed me outside and grabbed my arm before I stumbled.
“Don’t touch me!” I yelled, pushing him back. Not backing down, he took a step forward. He enveloped me in his arms, trapping me in the storm that was brewing in his eyes and before I could stop him his lips crushed mine. The air was sucked out of my lungs and everything inside was screaming like crazy. I couldn’t handle it and pushed him away. “What the hell is wrong with you Casper? You can’t just kiss me like that.”
“I know and I’m sorry, it just happened.”
I gave him a disgusted look. “That doesn’t just happen. We’re supposed to be friends Casper. You don’t go around kissing your friends.”
He scrubbed his hands down his face. “When are you going to get it that we are not friends Alex, we never were.”
I took a step back as if he slapped me. “Then what would you call it?”
“You don’t get it do you?”
“Get what Cas? One minute you kiss me and then the next you say we’re not friends. You’re right I don’t get it. Could you please explain it to me?”
He growled frustrated. “I want you…Alex.” I sucked in a breath not believing what I just heard. “Only you.”
“I…Cas…I –” I was speechless.
“I know you feel something for me too.” I shook my head even though my heart would disagree. “You’re going to stand there and tell me you feel nothing?” I opened my mouth but no sound came out. I couldn’t deny it. That one simple kiss I felt so many things that I couldn’t even describe it. Casper lunged forward and swept me up into his arms so fast I didn’t have time to react. When his lips hit mine I lost all my breath. This time I didn’t have the strength to pull away, I didn’t want to.
Everything that happened next was a blur. I didn’t even remember how I got there, but I was in Casper’s house and I was pulling him to his bedroom. Our clothes where flying everywhere. We couldn’t seem to get them off fast enough. I pushed Casper down on the bed and climbed on top of him. His lips pressed hard against mine as his hand slid up my side sending shivers through my entire body. I let out a small gasp as his other hand tangled itself in my hair. He pulled me down on top of him and I could feel how badly he wanted me. He took his arm and wrapped it tightly around my waist and then rolled me over so he was on top. “Always have to be in control, don’t you,” he teased. I smiled, gripped his behind, and gave one hard pull. He let out a grunt and I had to stifle my laugh. He smiled at me wickedly before his lips found mine again. He kissed me long and hard, he kissed me until I couldn’t take any more. I started to pull down his boxers, but he gripped my hands and pinned them above my head.
“Alex, stop.” His face got serious and I looked at him concerned. “Just let me…let me lead.” I nodded my head. He let go but still kept one hand holding my wrists together above my head while the other traveled across my shoulder, breast and stomach. The caress of his fingertips against my skin was making me shake. He stopped at my belly button, circling it before pressing tender kisses all the way up to my chest. He kissed, sucked and nibbled on my neck. I whimpered. I never ached for someone’s touch as badly as I had his.
Casper took his time. He was in no rush. I tried to pull my hands away, but he just squeezed them tighter. The sad part was that all it did was turn me on even more. With his free hand, he slipped under my bra and cupped my breast, rubbing a thumb lightly over the nipple, sending me into a tizzy. One handed he unhooked my bra and tossed it to the floor. Needing two hands, he slowly released my wrist, dragging a finger delicately down my arm making me quiver. His hand cupped, tickled, and tantalized my breast while his tongue flicked lightly over my sensitive nipples sending me into tiny orgasmic fits. Every nip, bite and caress was like torture, but I never wanted it to stop. He pressed a soft kiss in between my breast. His fingers traced the outlines of my tattoo as his lips traveled down my stomach, his tongue flicking out with each gentle kiss. He skimmed his lips across the top of my underwear before he gently tugged them off.
I didn’t know how much more I could take and I knew he was far from finished. I ran my hands through his hair as his tongue caressed my clit. Slowly he slipped in a finger and then two. My whole body shook as he pressed low on my stomach to keep me from moving. He picked up speed as his fingers moved in and out and his tongue slowly gained momentum. I let out a small cry. “Casper,” I gasped. I
tried to pull him back up to me but he pushed my hands away.
“Casper please, I want you. I need you now,” I begged, but he didn’t stop. I could feel it building up inside of me and knew I was going to come soon if he didn’t stop. My heels dug into the bed and my legs shook. He slipped his fingers out when I was done and pressed a small kiss, flicking his tongue out once, making me gasp. I yanked him up to me needing to please him the way he did me. I slipped my hand down the front of his boxers causing him to moan. I went to sit up but he pushed me back down shaking his head.
“I told you to let me lead,” he smiled. I complied and laid back down. He pushed his boxers off and climbed on top of me, kissing me wildly. He sucked on my tongue when I slipped inside his mouth. I never wanted anyone as much as I wanted him right now. I ran my finger nails down his back and gripped his behind, trying to pull him in, but he resisted. Instead he began to tease me by rubbing up on me. My skin was burning every time his touched mine. I knew if I moved just enough I could get what I wanted. I was so wet that one small move and he would slide right in. I felt the tip. My legs quivered with anticipation. Casper let out a growl and pulled back.
“Casper, I can’t take it anymore.”
“Say it. I want to hear you say it.”
“I want you. I want you inside me.” I never wanted anything so bad in my life. Without any more hesitation he slipped himself inside of me. I let out a soft cry of relief. He still took his time though, moving in and out slowly. I dug my heels into the back of his thighs and pulled on his behind pushing him deeper inside me. He slipped his hand behind my neck, tangling his hand in my hair as he kissed me. I pushed my hips up into his, needing more. He thrust so hard my body slammed on the bed making me moan.
“Alex,” he warned. “Don’t make me tie you up.” I raised a brow, that wasn’t a bad idea. “Not tonight,” he winked. I let go and moved my hands up his back and dug my nails into his shoulders as he kissed my neck. He was leaning on his elbows and it took everything I had not to push myself up into him. I bit my lip as he lowered himself down onto me. He gripped the iron post so he could easily pull himself in and out. I could feel his heavy breath on my shoulder. He bit down as I clamped my legs tighter around his waist. The sweat that glistened on his chest and my stomach made it easier for him to slide back and forth. He started to move faster, harder. I knew it wouldn’t be much longer now. I gripped onto the back of his hair and pulled his head up wanting to taste those lips. I was shaking from anticipation. I was just about ready to come again when he stopped.
“Don’t stop,” I pleaded. “Almost there.” He wiped a sweat soaked piece of hair off of my face and caressed my cheek with tenderness. He smiled softly before he pressed his lips back to mine. He pushed in hard and deep causing my moan to vibrate against his tongue.
“Alex,” he groaned against my mouth. This time when I pushed up into him he didn’t stop me. I let out a cry with each final thrust. He grunted with each shove until he finally shook and let out a long, satisfied moan. He collapsed on top of me, his head buried in my hair. He turned so he could kiss my neck. My whole body was tingling. He rolled off me and lay on his back for a moment before he pulled me into him. His thumb gently caressed my cheek as he stared lovingly into my eyes. I wrapped my arms around him needing to feel his warm body against mine. He kissed the tip of my nose and closed his eyes. I waited until his breath was steady until I closed mine.
“Don’t leave,” he whispered. The longing in his eyes scared me. I wasn’t ready for this. I wasn’t prepared for the aftermath that my actions would cause. I liked Casper I did but this was all so sudden. I couldn’t take another heartbreak and I knew without a doubt this is how it would end. I bit my lip to keep from crying. I wasn’t supposed to be here. I shouldn’t stay. I knew if I tried to leave now he would just hold on to me and beg me to stay and I also knew if I let that happen I wouldn’t have the strength to go. So I lied. “Okay.” That’s all I could say.
I laid with him like that for an hour. I fought my sleep deprived eyes and managed to keep them open. When I knew for sure Casper was sound asleep, I slipped out, running into Colton on the way out. The surprised look on his face said I was the last person he expected to be tiptoeing out of Casper’s room. “Don’t do this Alex.”
“I can’t stay Colton.”
“Alex, I’m begging you. You have no idea how much he cares about you. I don’t think he could handle it again if you slipped out on him.”
“Colton please,” I begged, fighting the tears. “I just need time to think, okay?” He nodded and stepped aside, letting me pass. I walked out to my car and drove away, my heart already breaking.
Chapter 19
Casper
I stretched, feeling an empty bed next to me. I didn’t panic, at first. I peeled my eyes open, one at a time. She wasn’t there, she was gone. I spread my palm wide on the unoccupied space. The sheet was cold. She had been gone for a while. I fumbled with the sheets and reached for any clean thing I could find and threw it on. I wasn’t going to let her walk away this time. I blew my chances before, but I’d be damned if I didn’t grow some fucking balls and tell her how I really felt. I had nothing left to loose. I grabbed my keys and tore out of there.
“Where are you going Cas?” Colton asked, scaring the crap out of me.
“I’m going to do what I should have done in the first place.”
“Alright then,” he said, trying to hide his smile. I bolted out the door. I was on a mission.
I made it to Alex’s in record time. I took the steps to her apartment two at a time. I hammered my fist on the door. I knew she was home. I saw her car outside. “Alex! Open up.” I pounded again and again. “Alex, I know you’re in there. Please, talk to me.” My disturbance had alerted one of the neighbors. An elderly woman with gray hair peered out the crack in her door.
I ignored her and continued to knock until my fist turned red. “Hey, some of us are trying to sleep,” the old woman grumbled.
I looked at my watch. “It’s one o’clock in the afternoon.” She narrowed her eyes at me and closed the door. I went back to my begging Alex to let me in. “Alex, please. I just need to talk to you…I just need to see you. I need…I need you.” When I still got no response I kicked the door, ready to kick it in if I had to. “Alex! I’m not leaving until you talk to me.” I pressed my body close to the door, listening for any sign of life. I heard footsteps and my heartbeat picked up.
“Alex?”
“Casper, go away.”
I clenched my fist by my side. “Let me in so I can talk to you.”
“Casper, I’m sorry but it’s just too much. I can’t deal with this right now.”
“Bullshit!” I slammed my hand on the door. “You have any idea what it’s like to feel this way about someone? To feel so much it hurts to be without them.” I slammed both hands on the door, frustrated. “God dammit Alex I’m in love with you,” I yelled, pressing my forehead to the door, defeated. “I love you,” I said softly, rolling over and resting my back on the hard wood. When she still didn’t answer, I kicked the door with my heel, frustrated.
I heard the locks click and I stood up. I turned around and was face to face with a tall, angry man who stood with his arms crossed. His hair was shaved close to his head and he had tattoos up and down his arms. He stood at least a foot taller than me and was built like a linebacker. Any other day I would walk away, not even attempting to take on someone his size, but I wasn’t going to let anything stand in the way of Alex and me, not anymore. “Who the hell are you?” I asked, staring down the beast in front of me. He sized me, his green eyes burning holes in my head. Eyes that were so familiar, eyes just like Alex’s.
“That’s none of your concern. I suggest you leave, now,” he said in a deep and commanding voice.
“Sorry, I can’t do that. Not until I talk to Alex.”
“She doesn’t want to talk to you. Last warning.”
I bowed my head defeated and he s
hut the door on me. I walked away. I only made it to the stairs before I heard the locks click again. I spun around to see Alex, leaning up against the door.
I wanted to run to her, but I was afraid of scaring her off. I took a slow, steady step forward. I wasn’t sure what I should say. My feet moved like they had a mind of their own and before I knew I it was in front of Alex. Her eyes searched mine, telling me things her voice couldn’t. I lifted both arms, pausing. She gave me a barely noticeable nod, granting me permission. My hands slid across the warm, smooth skin of her cheeks. I tilted her head up just the slightest bit so our lips could meet. I brushed my lips against hers softly. The small gasp from her mouth told me how much she wanted me. Her arms dropped by her sides. I pulled back just enough so I could look into her eyes. My hands dropped to her shoulders. Alex’s body fell into my arms, relaxing almost instantly. I let out a sigh of relief, kissing the top of her head.
“Don’t break me,” she said softly.
I smiled. “That’s what I was going to tell you.”
She pulled back, giving me a faint smile. The old lady from earlier was back. “If you don’t quit all this racket I’m calling the cops.”
Alex leaned to look over my shoulder. “Shut it you old bat. Go back inside and watch your stupid soaps.” The elderly woman narrowed her eyes at Alex, slamming the door. Alex turned back to me.
“God, do I love you.”
She laughed. It was music to my ears. Taking my hand, she led me into the apartment. I paused in front of the large man who first opened the door. “Can you give me a minute?” she asked him.
“I’ll be at Jasper’s. Call me if you need me,” he said, never taking his eyes off of me. I stood in the middle of the living room as she walked him to the door. They exchanged a few words. The only thing I heard was bat, body, and shovel. I swallowed the lump in my throat as Alex shoved the large man out the door. She returned to me, pulling me in the direction of her room. “Alex, wait…that’s not what I’m here for.” She raised a brow at me. “Okay, not totally. I think we should maybe talk first.”
500 Days Page 33