500 Days

by Jessica Miller

  “My dad wasn’t a bad man, but he was sick. We still don’t know why he stopped taking his meds. I hate the fact that my mom is sitting in a jail cell for protecting herself and her children. It wasn’t her fault.”

  “What about the other incidents? From before he was diagnosed.”

  “What do you mean?” She pulled back, wiping her face.

  “Was there any evidence of the previous attacks?”

  “No, my mom never reported them. She said our family issues were no one’s business. We never knew it would have ended this way. She thought she could help him and save our family.”

  “Sounds like she did.”

  “But look at the cost.” She walked away, turning her back to me. “I understand if you want to leave. I won’t hold you at fault for walking away.”

  I raced to her side, spinning her around. “Alex, you really think I would walk out on you for this?” Her lip trembled and it took everything in my body not to break something. If I had the power I would bring her dad back to life and kill him all over again for causing her so much pain. I cupped her face in my hands, swiping at her tears with my thumbs. “Alex, I love you. Nothing is going to change that. You could have told me you killed your dad and I would still be standing here next to you, by your side. None of that was your fault. Is that why you freaked out when Jack mentioned about visiting your mom?” She nodded. “Because he was talking about visiting her in jail?” Another small nod. “You really think that I’m that shallow that I would break up with because your mom’s in jail?”

  She shrugged her shoulders. “I have to say I’m kind of offended.”

  “Casper, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I was scared. You don’t know what I went through when I was younger. Declan was the only one who stood by my side while all my friends abandoned me and kids made fun of me. They called my mom a daddy killer.”

  “Clever.”

  “What do you expect from an eight year old?”

  “True, but Alex, you’re not eight anymore and I’m not running.” I placed a soft kiss on her lips, convincing her I was here to stay. She rested her head on my chest as I wrapped my arms around her tight. I just held her for a while.

  “Thank you,” she whispered.

  I eventually coaxed her back to her room so she could lie down and this time, I did just hold her. Once she finally calmed down, I got her to talk about it some more. “Do you visit your mom?”

  “Yeah, I try to whenever I can. It’s not easy since the prison is an hour away.”

  “I’d like to go with you sometime if that’s alright?”

  “Um, yeah.”

  I could hear the hesitation in her voice. “Alex, you can say no. I won’t get mad.”

  “I just need some more time.”

  “Take all the time you need.”

  We spent the next hour just talking. For the first time ever Alex let her walls down. She was letting me inside a place that no one had ever had access to. I ran my fingers up and down her arms as she told me all about her childhood and her decision for pre-law, although I think I would have figured that last one out on my own. We talked all night until she could no longer hold her eyes open. I kissed each eyelid before I tugged her close to my chest and rested my eyes.

  Chapter 22

  Alexis

  I reached out and the only thing my arm touched was air. It landed with a loud thump on the crinkled cotton sheets. I knew last night was too good to be true. I blinked back the tears. I refused to cry. I told him he could leave and I wouldn’t get mad. I kicked the covers off me and slipped on some sweatpants and a sweatshirt. I finger combed my knotted hair into a messy bun on top of my head. Stretching my arms above my head, I inhaled deeply, catching a whiff of something, gross. Something I detested – coffee. “Declan.”

  I raced out of my room and down the hall. My feet skidded across the hardwood floor. I came to a standstill when I saw Casper leaning over the counter with my laptop. He looked up and raised a brow at me. “You’re…here?”

  Scrunching his brow, he looked at me curiously. “Where else would I be?”

  I shrugged, walking over and wrapping my arms around his waist while I rested my head on his chest. I let out a sigh of relief. He didn’t leave. I hugged him closer as he placed a kiss on top of my head. I turned around to look at the computer. “What are you looking at?”

  He quickly closed the laptop. “Nothing, just some research for school. How are you feeling?”

  “Good,” I said.

  “You want some coffee?” I scrunched my nose. “Not a coffee drinker,” he laughed.

  “No.”

  “How about breakfast? I can make you something.”

  “You can cook?”

  “Yes I can cook,” he smiled.

  “Breakfast sounds great.” I let him go so he could get to work. I watched him shuffle around the kitchen. He looked like a natural whipping up ingredients. Every now and then he would throw me a smile over his shoulder.

  “What time is your first class?”

  “Not till ten.”

  He looked at the clock above the stove. “Why don’t you go take a shower and I’ll have breakfast ready for you when you’re done.” I leaned over the counter to give him a kiss before I headed back to the bathroom. I’ve never been so happy to see his beautiful face this bright and early in the morning. I thought for sure he had left. I thought he figured it was just all too much and didn’t want to be with someone who had a murderer in the family. Letting the water wash away all the grief, I stood in the shower a few extra minutes. I heard the door open and before I had a chance to answer Casper was stepping into the shower. His arm instantly wrapped around me and I settled back into him. “What about breakfast?”

  “We have time,” he said, kissing each shoulder blade.

  I turned so I was facing him. I placed my hand over the heart tattoo on his chest, tracing the outlines of the ivy. “You never told me why you got this.”

  He let out a deep sigh. “Because the girl of my dreams walked out my life and I never thought I’d see her again. The only thing I remembered from that night was your ivy tattoo. Not being able to get you out of my head. I went to the tattoo shop and had this done.”

  “But it seems…painful.” The way the ivy pierced the heart tearing it apart made it look almost like he was trying to say I ripped his heart out.

  “In a way it was.” I looked up into his eyes. “But you were the first girl who managed to break the stone. You found a way in here,” he pointed to his chest. “You captured my heart. You’re the only one I want to give it to.” I kissed the heart tattoo, loving that I had something special, right on his chest.

  We barely had enough time to eat the wonderful breakfast Casper made before I had to make it to my first class. He told me he would clean up the mess and lock up when he was done. I practically ran out the door in a rush to make it in time.

  I ran into Declan outside the cafeteria. “Hey,” she smiled.

  “Hi,” I said half in a daze.

  “You seem outta of it. What’s up?”

  I looked around to make sure there was no one in earshot. “I told Casper about what happened.” She looked at me funny for a second, not understanding. “I told him about my mom and dad.”

  Her eyes went wide with surprise. “What did he say?”

  “Nothing, really. He just listened.”

  “And?” she prompted.

  “And he didn’t run screaming.”

  “Of course he didn’t. Why would you think that?”

  I shrugged; it was what I was used to. “Alex, how long is it going to take you to realize just how much that boy loves you? You could tell him you used to be a man and he would still love you.” I gave her a look saying, ‘get real’. “Okay, maybe not so much, but you know what I mean.”

  “I do, but it still scares me.”

  “Did he run out screaming? Call you crazy?”

  “No, he did the opposite. He told m
e he wasn’t going anywhere and I couldn’t scare him away even if I tried.”

  “See, then what are you so upset about?”

  “I’m not, I’m just…confused.”

  “How so?” she asked as we started walking again.

  “I guess because I didn’t expect him to act the way he did.”

  “Do you feel worse or better now that you told him?”

  “Better, actually.” And I did. Once I realized Casper wasn’t going anywhere I felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders. It wasn’t easy carrying around such a dark secret. I was glad I now had someone to share it with. “I didn’t tell you the real kicker though. Casper’s dad is the lawyer who put my mom away.”

  She stopped dead, getting a nasty look from the girl behind her who almost ran into her. “What?” she shrieked.

  “That’s how the whole thing came up. When we went to the hospital Casper made me go in the room with him and when I saw him I recognized him right away. I kind of freaked and ran out of the room.”

  “Jesus Alex. And you told him everything?” I nodded. “Whoa.”

  “Yeah.” She said nothing else as we walked into the cafeteria.

  Casper was already there with Colton. He smiled as I approached and pulled out the chair for me, giving me a kiss on the cheek. I sat down and dug into my lunch. Casper leaned back in his chair, throwing an arm over the back of mine. Several girls that walked by gave us funny looks while others flat out showed their distaste. “Um, did I miss something?” I asked, looking back at Casper.

  Casper frowned as the next group walked by, whispering. A tray dropped down next to mine, startling me. I looked up at my twin, narrowing my eyes. “What?” he said through a mouthful of food as he made room for Jacob. This time it was a group of guys who walked by smiling in my direction and goofing around. I could feel Casper’s temperature rise as he leaned closer to me. His body tensed from all the looks the boys were giving me. I placed a hand on his knee to calm him. “Casper,” I warned. His leg relaxed but I could still feel the rest of the tension in his body. “Okay, is it just me or does everyone else notice the random stares like I have a horn growing out of my head?”

  “You pissed off a lot of girls,” Jacob said, stuffing a chip in his mouth.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “You are currently dating the most coveted guy in this school. Girls want to know what you have that they don’t,” he replied, reaching over to steal my cookie. I slapped his hand away.

  “The guys at the house are saying he knocked you up. You’re not pregnant, are you?” Jaxson asked. “You are looking a little thicker.”

  I smacked him on the back of the head. “No, dick.” I turned to Casper. “Did you know about this?”

  “I anticipated the angry women but I knew nothing about what the guys were saying; but I will be putting a stop to that as well as knocking together a few heads,” he said, glaring at a guy who was not so subtly checking me out.

  “Casper, you can’t get mad at every single guy that checks me out.”

  “Like hell I can’t,” he growled.

  “I’m sorry, didn’t we have this conversation already? I have to deal with skanks coming up to you all the time and am not allowed to do anything about it, but if a guy looks at me or talks to me it’s not okay?”

  “I don’t see the problem here.”

  “You wouldn’t,” I glared, just as his fan club walked up.

  “Hey Casper, Chrissy and I were wondering if maybe you could get us and a few friends on the list for your next gig.” She ran her hand over his shoulder. This girl had no shame. I gave her the look of death but it didn’t seem to faze her.

  Casper leaned back smiling. I was two seconds away from kicking the chair out from underneath him. “You’re going to have to ask Greyson about that one.”

  “Oh come on Cas, do an old friend a favor.” She smiled seductively, running a hand down his chest.

  I scooted my chair back, ready to kick this girl’s ass, when Casper stopped me. He took her hand and threw it off of him. “I already told you, you need to talk to Greyson. Now I’m going to tell you to take your bony ass somewhere else before I unleash my girlfriend on you.” The girl looked down at me, giving me a look like he had to be kidding.

  “You heard him, skank, not welcome. Now do you mind, your cheap ass designer imposter perfume is giving me a headache,” I waved them away. The girl scoffed, dropping her jaw. Declan threw them one last warning look before they finally took off.

  I lost my appetite and pushed away my tray. “Are you mad?” Casper rubbed my shoulder. I pushed my chair back and got up. “Alex.” I walked out without saying a word. Casper followed me out and stopped me on the path. I spun around fist raised.

  He threw his arms up in defense. “Whoa, hey, I’m unarmed.”

  “That was some real bullshit in there and don’t you dare say ‘get used to it’ or ‘I have to learn to deal’.” I was so angry with the way he handled all that, that my nails were digging into my palms.

  “I’m sorry. I was being a dick and I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I enjoyed seeing you get jealous.” I punched him in the chest. “Okay, okay, ow,” he whined, rubbing his sore chest. “I’ll work on it.”

  “I’ll see you tomorrow Cas.” I turned to leave.

  “Tomorrow?” he asked a little panicked.

  “Yes, tomorrow. Maybe a night alone with your thoughts will help you realize your mistake.” I stomped off. Making him sleep alone in his own bed would be his punishment.

  Clearly I hadn’t thought this whole punishment thing through. I tossed and turned all night. I missed his warmth. I missed the way he held me so close like he never wanted to let go. Casper had text me all night begging to come over, but I stood my ground.

  I woke up in a miserable mood, not having slept very well. I trudged down the hall into the kitchen to find an empty box of cereal, pissing me off even more. I was ready to go back to bed when there was a knock on the door. Standing there was Casper, and he looked horrible. “I’m sorry. You don’t know how sorry I am.” He held up a box of Captain Crunch. “Forgiven?”

  I smiled, backing up to let him in. He put the box of cereal on the counter, slowly inching his way to me. The moment his hand rested on my hip I felt a surge of heat rush through me. “I’m sorry too,” I said, resting my head on his chest. I pulled back enough to look into his eyes. He grazed my cheek with the back of his hand. Just the slightest touch stirred everything inside me. He leaned down to press a kiss to my collarbone, testing the waters. I let out a small gasp as his lips traveled slowly up my neck, jaw, and pausing just centimeters from my lips, waiting for permission. I attacked him, pushing him up against the counter. I could feel his breath catch in his throat.

  “I’m so sorry, please don’t punish me again,” he mumbled against my lips.

  “Never,” I mumbled back. We clumsily made our way back to my room where Casper apologized over and over again.

  We both fell back on the bed, breathless. “I’m an idiot,” he said, trickling wet kisses down my arm.

  “Yeah, but you’re my idiot.” He laughed and then bit me. “Hey,” I said, smacking him.

  Once again Casper and I were almost late for class. We rushed in and quickly took our seats in the back. I tried to pay attention to the professor but Casper had other plans. He tickled my arm lightly with his fingertips while his hot breath brushed across the back of my neck as he whispered all the dirty things he wanted to do to me. He only stopped when the professor called him out on his inappropriate behavior. “Can you blame me? Look at her,” Casper said, making my face turn beet red.

  “As that may be, this is not the place.” The professor went back to his lecture while I sank down in my seat.

  Lunch was just as bad. We walked in holding hands while most of the girls stared. Frustrated, I let out a sigh and tried to keep walking, but Casper stopped me. He pulled me back to him and planted a kiss on m
e that should have been saved for the bedroom. I stumbled a little, blushing. “What was that for?”

  “Just giving them a little something to talk about,” he said, gesturing to his groupies. He threw his arm over me, smiling. I just shook my head as we walked to the food line.

  The days were just flying by and our relationship had never been stronger. Most of the girls got the hint that he was no longer available and after several nasty threats from Casper the rumor of our bastard child was buried. For the first time in a long time I was looking forward to Christmas. My brothers had planned a trip to visit my mom and I decided I was going to tell her about Casper. I knew she would be happy to hear I was seeing someone so she wouldn’t worry so much. Things were pretty much almost perfect, which scared the shit out of me.

  “I was thinking about something,” Casper said, as his two fingers danced up my side.

  “You, thinking? What a rare occasion.” He frowned, narrowing his eyes at me. I giggled, I just couldn’t help myself. I ran my fingers through his hair. “What were you thinking?”

  He rested his chin on my stomach. “There’s just something about your mom’s trial that doesn’t make sense.”

  I let out a sigh. Casper wouldn’t let it go. Ever since I told him what really happened he seemed gung-ho on trying to figure out why my mom was convicted. “There are a lot of things that don’t make sense, Casper.”

  His forehead creased deep in thought. “Who else knows it was really Jack who shot him.”

  “No one except my mom, Jack, and me.” His brow deepened further. “What’s going on in there?” I tapped the side of his head.

  “When is your mom’s hearing?”

  “Sometime in February. If all goes well she’ll be out by summer. Five hundred days.” Casper looked at me funny. I knew he was trying to do the math in his head. “From when we first found out about the possibility of an early release.”

  Casper reached over me to grab his phone from the nightstand. “Who are you texting?” I asked a little annoyed.

  “Colton,” he said, never taking his eyes of the screen.