“I’m sorry, Alex.” Casper placed his hand over mine. I ripped my hand away and stood up. I looked at all the papers on the bed. Angry, I threw the papers to the floor and screamed. This had to be a lie. This so-called doctor was lying. I knew it. “Alex,” Casper reached for me again but I pulled away.
“My father would never do this. This lady is lying.”
“Alex,” he said softly.
“No! It’s not true. I need to talk to my brothers. They need to see this. They need to know.” I started gathering all the papers off the floor but Casper stopped me.
“Alex, you can’t.”
“What do you mean I can’t?”
“For starters, this is stolen property. My father doesn’t know I have these and I can get in a lot of trouble. No one can know you saw this. I’m sorry.”
I lost it then. “So you’re telling me that there’s nothing I can do about this woman spreading lies about my family?”
“No, what I’m telling you is that you can’t go running out of here on a whim. You need to find out the whole truth before you start breaking down doors.”
I ran a shaky hand through my hair. “Okay, so what do you suppose I do?” I tried to take a calming breath.
“Let’s start with putting all this stuff away.” I opened my mouth to protest. “You’re not going to be able to focus if you’re upset.” He was right. I hated when he was right. He helped me clean up the mess and then pulled me down onto the bed with him. I nestled closely to his chest, pressing my palm over his heart tattoo and allowed the steady rhythm of his heart lull me to sleep.
When I woke up in the morning I noticed all the boxes were gone and so was Casper. In a panic I rushed out into the living room. He wasn’t there nor was he in the bathroom. I called him on his cell. When he didn’t pick up, I was ready to go to his house and bang down the door when I received a text.
In class
WHERE R THE FILES!
They’re w/me
I need them back
No u need a break. U need to concentrate on school. And worrying about what may or may not have happened is going 2 drive u nuts. I’m doing this 4 ur benefit. I will take a look at the files when I have time.
Angry as all hell, I took my phone and threw it across the room, shattering it into a thousand pieces. Not the smartest thing but I was beyond pissed. I had the answers in my hand. The key to getting my mom released and now it was all gone.
I didn’t even care what I looked like when I stormed out of the house. I ran into Jaxson on my way to school. “Whoa, what the hell happened to you? You look like shit run over twice.” I punched him in the arm. He rubbed his shoulder grumbling something about PMS. I raised my arm again. “Okay, chill.”
“Have you seen Casper?”
“No, why? Are you guys fighting again,” he rolled his eyes.
“Not yet.”
“Keep me out of it this time.”
“When were you ever involved before?”
He looked ready to take off in a sprint. “Uh, I gotta go.” I didn’t have time to argue with him about something stupid but there was something I did need to know. I grabbed his arm to stop him.
“Jax, did you know anything about dad having a different psychiatrist?”
He took a step back, surprised by my question. “Alex, what is this all about?”
“I just…” I couldn’t tell Jaxson what I found out. As pissed as I was at Casper I didn’t want him to get in trouble. “Just answer the question,” I snapped.
“How the hell do I know? We were eight Alex. I try to forget pretty much anything that happened before then,” he clipped, tightening his hands on his backpack before he walked away. Great, I just pissed off one of my greatest allies. My insides burned like hot lava when I spotted Casper across the way. I marched straight for him. Not caring about being rude, I pushed him away from his friends, backing him into a corner.
“I take it this is not a social call,” he smirked.
“You have a lot of nerve. I want those files and I want them back now.”
His face turned real serious as he stood up straight. “No.”
“What do you mean no? Casper I need them!”
“No. I should have never told you about them in the first place. Look at you Alex. You can’t handle this. It’s eating you up inside. I’m doing you a favor.”
“Fuck you. You know nothing about me.” I shoved him into the wall and walked away beyond pissed. He thought he was helping, but he was just making it worse. Knowing I wouldn’t be able to concentrate, I went home and opened up my laptop. I decided to do a little investigating of my own. I googled the name of my dad’s doctor they had listed in the file. I was going to pay this so called psychiatrist a visit. I wrote down her address and grabbed my keys on the way out. I had no actual plan. I just wanted answers.
When I arrived at her office an elderly woman greeted me at the front desk. “Hello, may I help you?”
“Yes, I need to see Dr. Keetz.”
“I’m sorry, but she’s booked up today. Maybe we can schedule something for next week,” she said as her fingertips swiped over the keys of her computer. “We have as early as next Friday if that works for you.”
“No, I need to see her now.”
The secretary’s brows furrowed. “Are you a patient of hers?”
“No, but my father was.”
“I’m sorry Miss, but perhaps it would be better if you called and scheduled an appointment.”
I hadn’t planned on making a scene, but I wasn’t getting anywhere with this lady and I was getting impatient. “Is this her office right here?” I pointed to the door with her name on it which to any idiot would be obvious that it was her office. When the secretary said nothing I took my cue and made my way to the door.
“You can’t go in there. She’s with a patient. Miss…Miss, stop!” I was at the door faster than she could stand in her old age. I swung the door open and barged in.
“May I help you?” the doctor asked. She was younger than I expected. Dark blonde hair and brown eyes that were sharp and slightly slanted. Her thin lips pressed together as she looked me up and down clearly thinking I was some kind of lunatic.
“I need to talk to you.”
“I’m sorry but you must schedule an appointment if you want to speak with me.”
“I tried telling her that Dr. Keetz,” the secretary butted in, finally catching up to me.
“No, I’m not waiting. I need to talk to you now,” I said, slamming my fist against the wall. The secretary jumped back, startled. “My father was Jeffery Radcliff and I believe he was a patient of yours.”
“Would you like me to call the police?” The secretary asked, shrinking behind the door.
“No Ethel, that won’t be necessary. Can you tell my next appointment I will be a few minutes late and can you shut the door on your way out?” The old woman looked stunned, but complied anyway. Once the door was shut the doctor gestured to the chair in front of the desk. “Please, have a seat, Alex.”
My eyes narrowed at the sound of my name. “So you know who I am?”
“Of course I do. You’re father talked about you often.”
I sank down into the red leather chair. “I assume you’re here because you have questions.” I nodded, unable to form words at the moment. “What would like to know?”
“Everything.”
She smiled, the kind of smile I was sure she gave all her patients. One that was practiced for tense occasions like this where you had to be professional and lie your ass off. “Unfortunately we don’t have time for that. I can tell you your father loved you very much. He talked about you the most.”
“Spare me the sentimental bullshit. I want the truth. Why did my dad start seeing you?”
“I’m afraid his original doctor was way due past retirement. Your father was referred to me when his doctor’s practice was closed.”
“You testified at his trial. You said he was misdiagnosed.”<
br />
She sat back in her chair, sighing. She looked like if she had been preparing for this meeting for a very long time. “Your father was. He was not schizophrenic. He was just a very unhappy man.”
“You’re lying. Clearly you have no idea what you’re doing and you should have your license revoked.”
“Miss Radcliff, Alex. I understand your upset, but placing blame –”
“Don’t try to psychoanalyze me. You weren’t there. You have no idea what happened!” I snapped, standing up. “This is all your fault. If you were a real doctor then you would have known my dad was sick. That he needed to be medicated. Do you have any idea what you have done? You destroyed a family.” I was seething now, my anger growing more by the minute. I never had a plan really, but I should have known I wasn’t going to get anywhere if I kept yelling at her.
“Alex, I’m sorry that you feel that way, but the truth is, there was nothing wrong with your father. He wasn’t happy being married to your mom.” I gawked at her. “I shouldn’t be telling you this, but I need you to understand.” She tried to play the sympathetic doctor, but I could see right through her act. “He had confessed to me that he was no longer in love with her and that he had planned to leave her.”
“Right, and next you’re going to tell me that he loved his kids and that he wasn’t leaving us just my mom. Or maybe that he was leaving my mom for you.” The last part was meant to be a joke, but her eyes widened the slightest bit, giving her away. “You got to be fucking kidding me. You can’t be serious.”
“Alex, please understand that it was never my intent to break up a family.”
“Shut up!” I yelled. “You don’t get to talk anymore.” I nearly lost it then. In one swipe of my arm, I knocked everything off of her desk. Then I tore her so-called diplomas off the wall, smashing every single one of them. When I was done, I spotted a mug on one her shelves that read world’s greatest doctor. I picked it up and threw it against the opposite wall so hard it shattered into a thousand pieces. Panting like crazy, I looked at the still doctor. “I will have your license by the time I’m done with you. You were wrong and I will prove it if it’s the last thing I do.” I walked out without another word. Past the shaken secretary and the wide eyed patients in the waiting room. I just kept walking until I got in my car.
Chapter 23
Casper
I tried to reach Alex all day but her phone kept going straight to voicemail. I called Declan but she said she hadn’t heard from her either and now I was getting worried. My plan to steal my father’s files was in hopes of helping Alex, to find out what really happened and why the trial had gone so horribly wrong. But now I felt that had backfired. The second she got her hands on those files everything had changed. She was obsessed with finding out the truth. I created a monster and unleashed her onto the world. I feared the worst. I needed to find Alex before she did something stupid. She was a wreck when she confronted me and I had no idea how to help her.
After my last class, I drove straight to her place. I’d knock down the door if I had to. When I ran into Jaxson earlier he asked what was up with Alex and warned me she was on a warpath and I should keep my distance. But I refused to listen to reason. I pounded on the door. “Alex, open up. I know you’re home. I saw your car parked out front. So open up.” She didn’t respond. I knew she was in there. “Open up or I’m breaking the door down!”
I heard her unlock the door. She peered out, her dark green eyes glowing in the dim light of the apartment. I caught a glimpse of a bandage on her wrist. I grabbed her hand. “What happened?” Panic surged inside of me.
“Nothing,” she said, ripping her hand away.
“I tried calling you. Why didn’t you answer?”
“I broke my phone.”
“Can I come in?” I could see the struggle in her eyes with her decision. I knew she was hurting but I didn’t know why and I wanted to find out. She slowly backed away, allowing enough room for me to enter. “Why is it so dark in here?” I asked.
“I have a headache and the bright lights make it worse.”
I looked around the apartment for a clue as to what happened. Everything seemed to be in place. No broken lamps or broken glass. She looked pale; her eyes were a little glassy, letting me know she had been drinking. “Want to tell me what’s going on?”
She looked down at her trembling hands. “No,” she said so low I wasn’t even sure I heard her right.
“Alex,” I touched her wrist and she pulled away. “Don’t do this.”
“Do what?” she snapped.
“Don’t take your anger out on me.”
“Why not? You’re the one who started this.” She looked up at me, eyes shallow. “I went to her office today.”
“Who’s office?” I asked, scared I already knew the answer.
“Dr. Keetz, my father’s so-called psychiatrist.”
“Alex, why would you do that?”
“Because I needed answers!” she cried. “I needed to know the truth, but she wasn’t any help.” She unconsciously played with the bandage on her wrist. My eyes followed. “I trashed her office,” she confessed.
“Are you out of your mind? Do you have any idea what you have done? You could have been arrested, Alex. You’re letting this take over your life. You’re letting your obsession control you.”
“My obsession? Getting my mom out of jail for a murder she didn’t commit is not something I would consider an obsession.”
“No, your mom is rotting in jail because your brother killed your dad, not her, and if you keep it up you’ll be sharing a jail cell.” I regretted it the moment it left my lips.
“Fuck you!”
“Alex, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.” I tried to wrap my arms around her but she swatted me away.
“Don’t touch me!”
“Alex, I want to help you, but you have to stop acting so impulsive. You need to think this through.”
“You want to help me, get out.”
“Alex –”
“No. You don’t get to pretend to be the hero this time. Everything was fine until you came along. Until I met you my life was not perfect but it was pretty damn good. This is your fault. You were the one who tricked me into a dinner with your family so you could steal the files. You are the one who handed them over and made a mess of everything. Five hundred days, Casper. That’s all she had left. Just five hundred until I could bring her home to her family where she belongs and you come along and destroy all that.”
“So you screw up and blame me. I see not being to take the fault for your own crimes is a family trait.” She smacked me across the face. I deserved it, but I was way past the point of caring. I was not going to let her blame me for something I didn’t do. If I did, she would hate me forever. She would look at me like I was a constant reminder of this pain I caused her like she was right now.
“Get out.”
“No.”
“Get out!” she screamed, shoving my chest. “I don’t ever want to see you again. It’s over, Casper.”
“You’re going to break up with me over something I can’t control?”
“No, I’m breaking up with you because you brought nothing but misery to my life.”
“You don’t mean that.”
Her eyes were wet and I knew she was fighting hard not to cry. “Since the day you walked into my life I’ve felt nothing but pain. I would have been perfectly fine not knowing all of this about my mom’s case. It’s like you killed him all over again.”
“Alex, you’re upset. We should talk about this at another time when you’ve calmed down.”
“It’s clear you know nothing about me. It’s over Casper. Now, for last time, get out.”
I thought it wise for the time being, to leave. I was not giving up on us, but I knew now was not the time to push it. I called Declan on my way out and told her she needed to go home and stay with Alex. I only told her we had a pretty big fight and I was afraid for her to be alone. I was worried
. In the state that Alex was in I was scared she would do something reckless. Declan told me she would drive straight home.
My head was a crazy mess at the moment and I didn’t know what to do with myself. I just needed to give her time, I told myself. She was hurt and upset by the things I’d said. I was a fucking idiot. How the hell was I going to fix this?
I called Alex the next day – fifty times – before I remembered she told me she broke her phone. I wanted to go over first thing in the morning but I knew she would need some time still. When she wasn’t in class I was nervous, something was wrong. I headed straight to her place when class was over. An unfamiliar car was parked in her spot and hers was gone. I got out and went to her apartment anyway. “Alex,” I called, knocking on the door.
No answer.
“Alex,” I tried again, pounding on the door.
Nothing.
I took out my phone to call Declan when I heard the door open. “Jaxson?”
“Hey man, what’s up?”
“Is Alex in there?”
He leaned on the door frame, arms and legs crossed. “Nah man.”
“You wouldn’t happen to know where she’s at.”
“School, I think,” he shrugged.
I eyed him for a moment. “What are you doing here?”
“Jasper asked me to go to the store and I got hungry. Alex’s place was on the way.” I raised a brow. He just shrugged again.
“If you see her, can you please tell her I’m looking for her and to give me a call?”
“Sure thing. Is everything okay?”
“I hope so,” I said, turning to leave. I thought maybe I would try the mall. Maybe she was getting a new phone. When I had no luck there I called Declan – nothing. Frustrated, I went back to Alex’s and decided to wait until she returned. She had to come home eventually.
I waited so long I actually fell asleep. I woke up to a rapping on my window. Startled, I slipped. The hand that was cradling my head fell, causing me to crack my head against the window. I grunted under my breath. I rubbed my eyes and discovered a very angry Alex glaring through the window. I jumped out of the car, wanting so badly to hold her in my arms, but she pulled away. “Alex, I’ve been looking for you all day.”
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