The Mistaken

by Nancy S Thompson

  “Why, Tyler? Why would Nick do that?”

  He turned away and paced the room again. “I wondered about that myself. He wasn’t very forthcoming with me, at first, but…Nick eventually confessed something. I still can’t believe it though.”

  Tyler’s tenuous control over his emotions unraveled even further. Tears streamed down his face and his chin quivered. He looked ready to implode.

  “Apparently, Nick has been harboring a great deal of anger and resentment toward me since the deaths of our parents and sister four years ago. He felt I blamed him, and thought he was irresponsible and weak for getting sucked into drinking and drugs. He thought I was disappointed in the man he’d become.” Tyler paused and tried to gather himself, but failed. “I think… I think he hated me for it.”

  Ty could barely speak. He cried, his shoulders shaking with pent up emotion. I reached out to comfort him, but he pulled away.

  “No!” He bowed his head and raised his finger, asking me to wait. “Last winter, when Jillian discovered Erin Anderson had stolen her card and assumed her identity, she became frustrated by the authorities’ unwillingness to prosecute. She even asked me to help, but I advised her to wait it out. With nowhere else to turn, she approached Nick and asked for his assistance. But when I got wind of their plan, I reprimanded Jillian and forbid Nick from getting involved, a decision I regret, because if I had just let Nick handle it, then maybe Jillian would still be alive. But... But I...”

  Tyler completely fell to pieces. He grabbed the back of the sofa with both hands and doubled over, resting his forehead against them, sobbing uncontrollably. It was heartbreaking to watch, especially since I felt so incapable of comforting him. Still, I reached out and touched his shoulder, but he shot up and backed away with his hands in the air.

  “No. Don’t fucking touch me. I’m...poison! I make bad decisions and destroy everything I touch. Can’t you see? I chose to ignore Nick, and now my parents and sister are dead. I forbid Nick to help Jillian, and now she’s dead. I pulled Nick into this mess, and now look what’s happened. And you, Hannah. God, look at what I’ve done to you.”

  He took a long pause, but still could not gather himself together.

  “Now, no matter what I do, someone will get hurt. Someone may die. One way or the other. What am I supposed to do now, Hannah? What?”

  With a renewed effort, he began pacing back and forth across the room, shaking his head.

  “No, I can’t. I can’t do this. I can’t make that choice. I’ve already ruined Nick’s life. I’ve ruined your life. This is impossible. I can’t do it. I just can’t.”

  And then he froze and tilted his face upward with his hands atop his head.

  “Godammit!” he screamed. “How do I fix this?”

  Tyler slumped his shoulder against the wall and slid down to the floor onto his knees where he wept into his hands. My heart broke for him, cleaved in two. I walked over and knelt down in front of him. I captured his face in my hands and pulled his head to my shoulder, whispering his name while I soothed him. Inconsolable, Ty placed his hands on my shoulders and tried to push me away.

  “No, Hannah…”

  “Shush, Ty, shhh. It’s okay, it’s all right.” I leaned back and kissed his forehead and cheeks, shushing him over and over, like a mother to a distraught child.

  “Don’t, please,” he pleaded as he pulled back.

  He shook his head while I stared into his tortured eyes, seeing for the first time all the tragedy embodied there. I saw more pain than I thought any one person could ever contain. I was desperate to ease it in some way, but I had no idea how. It was a purely instinctual reaction to lean in and press my lips to his. I pulled back and looked at him again, but the torment still twisted his features, and tears continued to spill down his cheeks. His head fell back against the wall, and his lips parted as his hands fell away.

  I moved my whole body into his and wrapped my arms around his back, my cheek pressed against his chest. He rested his hands along my waist and dropped his face into the crook of my neck and shoulder.

  “Hannah, please...don’t...” He sounded broken, irreparably so. A man at the very end of his rope.

  “It’s okay,” I said over and over as I held him. I cried, too. I couldn’t help it.

  His body quaked with wracking sobs as he finally wrapped his arms around me, pulling me in tight, his longing for human compassion outweighing his need to distance himself. He cried out for his parents, then his sister, and lastly, for Jill and their lost child, insisting each death was his fault. He called out for Nick, hopeless as to how he might save him and bring him back alive. And he apologized to me, for being too focused on revenge, for being drunk and careless with my life. He piled each of us onto his shoulders and tried to carry the load, the burden way too much for one man to bear alone.

  With no other way to comfort him, I held him close for a long, long time, until his sobs finally ebbed and his muscles relaxed from exhaustion. He had no fight left in him. I pressed him back onto the floor and leaned closely over his chest with my face above his. His hands were raised, lying slack on the floor next to his head, like an infant asleep in its crib. I reached out and braided my fingers through his, pressing my palm flat against his hand.

  As he lay quietly beneath me, I ran my thumb over the tense furrow dividing his brow. I stroked the wrinkle and eased it away, just as I had yearned to do. His mouth fell slack, and the last of his tears glistened in the soft light. I cupped my hand to his damp cheek and slowly leaned down, my lips barely grazing his mouth. I moved my head slightly from side to side and let the tip of my tongue stroke his parted lips.

  There was a tentative response as he finally seemed to surrender. He sighed and closed his eyes then tightened his grip around my fingers. He lifted his free hand and weaved it through my hair, pulling me in gently and returning my kiss. It was guarded at first, unsure, slow and tender. Then his body stirred beneath me, a desperate hunger rising to the surface like a drowning man gasping for one last breath. His arms coiled around by back, hands splayed across my skin, fingers curled with nails that bit into my flesh, as if he couldn’t pull me in close enough, tight enough.

  He needed me, to heal him, to want him. And in that moment, I did. I wanted him, just as much as he wanted me. It had been so long since I’d felt desired by a man. I realized then just how empty and lonely I had been, and not just for the last few months either, but for years. Ty wasn’t the only one desperate for human touch. My body quaked in urgency, and I cried. My tears fell and mixed with Tyler’s and streamed down his temple. We shared our quiet anguish, stirring our pain to bloom into a frantic kind of passion.

  I needed him to know that he could be forgiven, that I could be the instrument through which he could ask for forgiveness: forgiveness from his wife for letting her down, from his brother for not being there when he needed him, from his parents and sister for their preventable deaths, and lastly, from me, for everything he had done. He needed forgiveness more than he needed air in his lungs.

  He would never be able to forgive himself until he asked for it from those he loved, from those he had hurt most. I had learned over the last few months that holding onto pain, anger, and resentment only consumed the soul, leaving nothing but bitterness, preventing one from moving on. I was trying my best to forgive so that I could be released from all that. At some point, Ty would need to let go and forgive, as well. He would need to forgive himself and the woman who had taken everything away from him. I would show him it could be done, to forgive the unforgivable. I would give that to him. I would show him that there was still hope—for him, for me, for Nick. For all of us.

  It was my turn to take control. I removed Ty’s clothes and then my own. I ran my hands over him, marveling at his masculine beauty. He was so perfectly formed, broad shouldered, hard and trim, and massively muscled. Completely flawless on the outside, yet so terribly damaged within. I was overcome with my need to comfort him, to show that I had forgive
n him. To show him that he could do the same. Lying beneath me, I saw that he was ready, and so was I.

  I gave myself over and made love to Ty on the carpeted floor. I straddled his glorious body with my own and pulled his face up to meet me. He held me about the waist, his lips pressed to the hollow at my throat, and my cheek along the top of his head. His despair, still raw and palpable, made our joining all the more poignant.

  In the long moments we held each other, we became one. One spirit, one body, one soul with one purpose. We each cried out, both in pain and in tortuous pleasure, holding on while our bodies shook in fierce release. It was the single most bittersweet moment of my entire life. One I would remember and cherish forever.

  We remained locked together until our breathing calmed and our heartbeats returned to normal. I loosened my grip on his shoulders and leaned back, smiling down at him tenderly. He looked up and smiled, too, ever so slightly. Tears still sparkled in his vivid blue eyes. He shook his head almost imperceptibly, and with a tremulous sigh, his chin fall to his chest.

  “Ah, Hannah…that doesn’t exactly make it any easier for me now.”

  I sighed in return and touched my hand to his cheek, still damp with his tears. I raised his head up so he could look me straight in the eye. And then it all became clear. I smiled.

  “Don’t worry,” I said. “I have an idea.”

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Tyler

  I stood in the middle of the room and pulled my clothes back on, staring in horror and fear. “No way, Hannah. There’s no bloody way in hell.”

  She glared at me with her arms crossed over her chest, her fingers drumming against her bare skin. “Why not? It just might work.”

  I couldn’t believe she would ask me such a stupid question, but then again, her suggestion had been far worse. I crossed the room and touched my hand to her cheek. With a sorrowful smile, I pulled her in close, resting my chin on the top of her head.

  “You are a silly, brave girl. And I…appreciate…your generous offer.” I kissed her forehead then pulled back to look her in the eye. “But that will never, ever happen.” I turned and walked away, trying hard not to let my anxiety get the best of me yet again.

  “Do you have a better idea then?” she asked.

  I looked back at her in wonder. “Come on, Hannah. Any idea would be better than that.”

  She huffed and stomped her foot. “But you said this Dmitri character made a deal with a client who would most likely just keep me for himself, right? So then don’t you think it would be easier for you and Nick to rescue me from that man’s house, than it would be for you, all alone, to save Nick while he’s hidden somewhere among all those thugs with guns? It would be suicide to attempt that, Tyler, and you know it.”

  “I’m not discussing this with you.”

  Terrified of the way she was thinking, I turned away again, but she closed the distance and faced me, undeterred.

  “Tyler, I can do this. I know I can.”

  I grabbed her by both arms and got right up into her face.

  “No, Hannah. You can’t do this, and you won’t. You think I have any way of knowing for sure where they might take you? You think Alexi was ever honest with me? For God’s sake, you could just as easily end up in a whore house, maybe even sent to another state or country. No way would I ever risk your life like that, Hannah. No way. You’d never survive, not for one blasted second.”

  She stared at me with eyes round as the moon, momentarily frightened into silence. Then her stubbornness kicked in, and her chin jutted out.

  “What about your brother?” she asked. “How the hell do you plan on rescuing him?”

  I stared her in the eye for a long moment then let go and pushed her away.

  “Don’t you worry about Nick. He’s my problem. Not yours. I’ll figure everything out on my own, without your help.”

  In all honesty though, I didn’t know what to do about Nick. I was resigned to the idea that I would have to throw myself at the mercy of Alexi and Dmitri, that they would allow me the chance to somehow repay them, even if my very life was forever beholden to them. The only chance I had of that working was if I cut all ties with Hannah and sent her away. I was convinced that Alexi didn’t know who she really was. During our last conversation, he told me to find the right girl or bring the one I had, like one was as good as any other. He didn’t care. Nick had only spoken to Alexi about Erin. He never shared the information from that rental car receipt. Alexi couldn’t know about Beck Maguire, or Hannah. We never saw any of his men back in her neighborhood, so if I made sure she got out of town safely before I met with Alexi, he would have no choice but to settle with me alone. His prize would be long gone. He would never find her, and I would never tell.

  Convinced that was my only option, I pressed my lips together and brushed by Hannah, but she caught my arm and spun me around.

  “You can’t just dismiss me, Ty. I deserve a say in my own future.”

  I shook my head. “That’s just it, Hannah. This is not your future.”

  There was no way I could take the chance of having her wait for me at the hotel. Not now. Not with her cavalier attitude. I didn’t know whether they knew to come here looking for her. For all I knew, I might not even make it back alive. She’d be alone and defenseless. The best and safest thing for me to do would be to buy Hannah an airline ticket back to Seattle. I could arrange to have her car shipped straight home. As long as she was gone before I left to meet with Alexi, there would be nothing he could do.

  With my decision made, I ran my fingers along her cheek and up under her chin. “You’re future’s at home, Hannah, in Seattle with your son, and no matter what it takes, I will get you back there.” I tapped the end of her nose with my finger and walked away, but I heard her sigh impatiently in reply.

  Given her response, I had a strong feeling Hannah was going to be difficult and refuse to go if she feared for my wellbeing. I would have to tell her that I’d managed to swing a new deal after all, that Nick would be released, and together we would repay Dmitri the money we owed him. I would tell her that she was safe, and that we no longer needed her.

  I was at odds with myself about sending her away. I didn’t understand my feelings for her at all. I was deeply touched by the way she had so willingly given herself to me, to ease my pain, to show that she had forgiven me. But allowing myself to make love with Hannah had further complicated an already unmanageable situation. I realized, with great remorse, everything she had forfeited, and yet she still offered herself to me as a source of comfort. I was bewildered by her sense of compassion and her ability to forgive, especially when all I had ever shown her was my own selfish need for revenge.

  I came to accept that I must break our strange bond and part ways, and because she seemed reluctant to do so, I would push her away. I would make her want to leave, whether it was by way of anger, fear, or simply hurt feelings.

  I would cast her aside to save her.

  ~

  Later, I approached Hannah, trying my best to appear casual and confident.

  “Tomorrow, I’ll meet face to face with Alexi and Dmitri, and I’m positive we’ll be able to work out an acceptable deal.”

  She looked at me, a single brow raised in suspicion. “That’s odd. You didn’t seem so sure earlier this evening.”

  I blanched inwardly at her remark. “What happened between us, Hannah, that was a moment of weakness, nothing more, brought on by the wine and my regret at having involved you in this mess. It won’t ever happen again, I assure you.”

  Hurt flashed across Hannah’s face, and I saw my opportunity to drive the necessary wedge between us, to start the process of getting her back home where she belonged.

  “I’m sorry, Hannah. I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but I need to focus on Nick right now. His confession this morning hit me at my core.”

  “Confession? What confession?”

  “That’s what I was trying to tell you earlier. Nick
admitted to seizing the opportunity to bring me down a peg when I was having a difficult time adjusting to Jill’s death. He said he purposely got me abusing alcohol as retribution for all the slights he imagined I’d paid him, to show that I was just as weak as he’d been when he started using. To prove that I was no better.” I saw the fury rage within Hannah as she took in this bit of information.

  “Why would your own brother do that to you...at your lowest moment? That’s unfathomable.”

  I raised my hand to calm her down. “It’s okay, really. It’s put everything into perspective for me, and it’s the one reason why I’d never even consider risking your life to help Nick. We got ourselves into this mess, and we can damn well get ourselves out.

  “I’ve known these Russians for several years now, and I’ve dealt with them on my brother’s behalf before. They know Nick is impulsive, and that I’ll always be there to step in for him. Dmitri is a businessman, after all, and all he needs is money—albeit a lot of it—to see the deal through. Blood spilled in retribution would garner him nothing. I’m certain I can get him to see that much.”

  I watched Hannah closely. She seemed to accept what I told her at face value. Offering her a solution that didn’t include violence appeased her, calming her fears on my behalf.

  “Well then, what’s going to happen to me?” she asked.

  “For now, I want you to stay put and out of the way until I’ve worked out all the details.”

  “And what details would that be?”

  “Don’t you worry your pretty little head. It’s getting late. You should get some sleep. I’m going out for an hour or so. I’ll try not to disturb you when I get back.”

  I was purposely dismissive, as if I were trying to distance myself from her after our tumultuous union earlier this evening. Making her think I regretted making love with her was a sure fire way to do that. My words and attitude plainly hurt her, and I hated myself for doing it, but I believed it was the only way to disentangle myself from her quickly.