A Grave Situation

by Zoey Kane

  “Pleeeze, you’re causing me to hyperventilate.” He touched his abs, laughing. “I know, in twenty minutes let’s go get a sandwich and milkshake at The Sea Witch.”

  *

  They found a nice window booth.

  “Tuna sandwich with potato chips and a chocolate milkshake,” ordered Claire.

  “I’ll have the same,” said Zo.

  Kellen said, eyeing the menu further as he spoke, “Make mine a super rare steak with mushrooms, baked potato and sour cream.” He passed the menu to the waiter. “And just ice water, please.”

  The ladies were hungrily chowing down on their lunch since their breakfast burritos had not stayed with them. Chips and a milkshake hit the spot. Kellen enjoyed his rare steak, actually making “mmm” sounds once in a while.

  They were having a good time when someone said, “Hello, Kellen. Zoey, Claire.” It was Cocoa, her voice quiet, emotionless.

  “Oh, did you hurt your mouth?” Zo asked. There was a bruise on her bottom lip.

  “Dentist,” she said.

  “Cocoa, would you like to join us?” Claire asked. “Kellen can scoot over.”

  A bit of interest crossed Cocoa’s pale blue eyes. “Is that right, Kellen? Can you move over?”

  “Not at all,” he replied, determined and unmovable.

  Cocoa just walked on with no further expression or words.

  Zo internally cringed, remembering Kellen’s remarks about Cocoa during dance practice.

  “I’m so sorry, Kellen,” Claire said. “I had no idea there were bad feelings between you two.”

  “Oh, don’t worry about a thing.” He waved away her worry with a hand. “She deserves to be run out of town.”

  “Wow, that bad?”

  “As far as I’m concerned, way worse,” he said. “But let’s not be bothered by her issues. She’s her husband’s problem.” He looked at his watch. “Oops … time for me to get back.”

  “I’m glad we had this time together,” Zo said. “It was a great idea.”

  Kellen left with a big smile. “Anytime.”

  “I think Cocoa really upset him,” Claire said, pointing with her fork at his bloody plate. “Look, he didn’t even eat his potato.”

  NINETEEN

  As they were walking back to the VW, the two saw Frank emerging from the library not too far away.

  “Did you get a copy of Huck Finn?” Claire called.

  He joined them on the sidewalk. “Not even! I was doing research on the Skipping Betty, if you must know.”

  “And? Do you know where the treasure is?” Zo asked.

  “And what makes you think you are so smart?” Frank said.

  “Well, now you know that Lacey was impersonating the ghost, Isobel Myer; Dracula obviously isn’t a true vampire, and everyone else is just cultists having a good time playing dress up. What else would keep you? Unless you are staying to solve the murders of the cats and Cheryl.”

  “I already told you, I am not into lunatics! Besides, I’ll be leaving town sooner than later.”

  “Really…” Zo continued. “Well then, tell us if you found anything at all interesting about the drowned stranger who was washed off the Skipping Betty.”

  “Not a thing. Not a thing at all. I’m very glad to share that with you.” He entered a black car, parallel parked on the street. “Catch ya later,” he said gruffly, getting in and turning on the engine.

  “Hey! Kanes!”

  The ladies looked across the street at a row of shops, spotting Edna holding up bags and pointing a foot to show off some new shoes.

  Zo smiled big and Claire gave her a thumbs up. Edna continued on her way into another store.

  “Remember when we first got some wealth?” Zo said. “How fun it was to buy a little something? I’m not going to ever forget those days of poverty, of getting a ride in a dump truck because our old van got repossessed.”

  “Yes, those were the days we laughed at ourselves. These days seem a little more dangerous.”

  “I suppose so. But would you have missed the tomato fight?”

  “No. There have been some truly funny situations—at least funny to us.”

  The two headed back to the castle. On the way there, they came upon “Dr. Fulton’s Animal Hospital” written in gold lettering across a window. Walking in the business, they spotted two cats and a mixed terrier waiting to be called to the back.

  Zo looked around. “It’s very nice in here.”

  The colors were a soft brown with a maroon accent. Displayed on a wall was a large corkboard. “Our Beloved Four-Footed Patients,” it read across the top. Cat photos were on one side of the board and dogs on the other. They all were so adorable, and some had pictures with their smiling owners. They decided their favorite was a deep orange Persian named Piggy. His little squash face was “the cutest ever.”

  An assistant wearing Winnie The Pooh scrubs came over, smiling. “What can we do for you?”

  “Oh, just wanted to take a look,” Zo said. “We’ve been into Cocoa’s store. We wanted to see what her other half is doing. We met him the other day at lunch.”

  “I see you’re interested in our patient, Piggy.” She put a finger on the photo. “Named after his appetite,” she said.

  “That would be our guess,” laughed Claire.

  The woman’s forehead creased. “Piggy got hit by a car. He needed surgery and a little transfusion. He’s doing very well now. Dr. Fulton does a lot of emergency work.”

  “Wonderful!” Zo remarked.

  “He gets a lot of that kind of thing. You know, a cat will get hit by a car at night because of standing in the road, staring at another cat, like in a duel of who will move first. Crazy cats!”

  The telephone rang and the assistant said, “Gotta get that.” She walked to her desk behind the counter in a hurry.

  The Kanes waved as they left. The assistant waved back while taking an order for ten units of something.

  As they drove to the castle, Zo and Claire were quiet in their thoughts.

  Claire said, “I’d like to see Jim again. I think I’ll invite him to the castle tonight.”

  “Do it. It’s a good idea, sweetie.”

  Upon arriving at the castle, Dracula met them at the door. “There is a dance after dinner tonight, ladies,” he informed them as they entered the foyer. “The Fultons will be spending their anniversary night here and they’ve invited two other couples.”

  Cocoa and Phil? That was interesting news. More guests.

  “We will be having a party in the ballroom,” he said. “Therefore, be appropriately dressed for an oysters-and-pilaf dinner, after which will be dancing.”

  “Oh, good!” Claire said. “Set another plate. Jim is going to join us as well.”

  “I will extend the table.” Dracula bowed slightly and hurried away.

  “Mom, why don’t you invite Kellen?”

  “Becuzzz, Kellen can take me or leave me. Mostly leave me. I’m just not his type. Oh well, I’ll dress in my soft-raspberry gown anyway, with gold heels.”

  “Good sport, Mom.”

  Just then, the sisters and Mr. Federbal walked through the door. Everyone was giggling.

  “I heard there is a dance tonight. What fun!” smiled Beth.

  The Kanes reciprocated her excitement by discussing what they planned on wearing.

  Lenora impatiently cut in, “What do you think, Zo? The strangest thing… Our neighbor, Edna, gave us each a present.” She held up a small purple gift bag. “A box of chocolates for Beth and some nice stationery for me. The Earth is off its axis.”

  “Don’t question it. Just go with it,” advised Zo.

  TWENTY

  Dinner was beautiful. Dracula had added a leaf to the table, making it extra long; placed a forest green tablecloth across its surface, and topped things off with exquisite china, gleaming silver utensils and crystal flute glasses. The two couples the Fultons brought were charming and friendly enough. Their wealth was apparent, but not in
an affected way. It was an enjoyable time, except for the fact that every once in a while, Zo could feel Cocoa’s eyes observing her.

  When everyone was getting up from the table, Zo found a moment when Cocoa was alone. She stepped directly in front of her. “You can relax,” she said. “Kellen has no interest in me.”

  Her reply was, “Why, whatever do you mean?!” Her lips formed a tight smile. “Besides,” she said, “maybe there’s a whole universe of other reasons people don’t like you.”

  That caught Zo off guard. “We have to wonder, Cocoa, why you would think so.”

  Zo turned to go get ready when Frank came walking in. “I felt like a chili dog tonight.” He saw the extra people. “What’s going on?”

  “A formal dance, Frank,” Zo said. “In your case, come as you are.”

  “I’ll probably stay in my room and read a nudie magazine.”

  “Suit yourself.”

  Claire and Zo headed off to their room to get ready.

  “Mom,” said Claire, once in their little dungeon-like space. “Who can we suspect is involved in the cat killings and Cheryl’s murder? Got anything?”

  “Okay, lets lay out the possible clues,” she said unzipping her dress bag on her bed. “Frank does have stakes, and he said he wanted to leave town in a hurry. Cocoa is a real piece of work, possessive about Kellen. Cheryl hinted that she knew something and told her friends to keep watch.”

  “Yeah, I really think the murder is linked to the cats in some way.”

  “Do you think one of the Binger sisters is a dual-personality schizoid?” Zo took her pale raspberry gown from its bag.

  “Maaaaybe.” Claire placed her own dress bag on her bed and pulled out a periwinkle gown.

  “You wearing your silver heels with that?” her mother asked, pulling her own dress over her head and straightening it out past her hips.

  “Yes. Toss them over, please.” She caught them. “But I think they’re too overtly man crazy for that.”

  “What about Dracula?” Zo twisted her hair in thought. “Hair up or down?”

  “I refuse to accuse our host of anything. His personality is too fun. I’m sure he’s going to make a beeline for you tonight; lucky you,” she teased, pulling on her own dress. Then she said, “Wear your hair down and full.”

  Claire loosened her own hair from a ponytail and ran her fingers through it, and spritzed it with a shine spray sitting on the window sill.

  Zo fluffed her own hair with one hand, while holding the little mirror she got from Cocoa’s with the other.

  “We’re forgetting Lacey,” Claire said, putting down the spray bottle. “She’s this big repentant good girl now. It could just be a show, meant to throw people off her track. How do I look?”

  Zo turned to see her daughter looking beautiful, more like her father’s coloring, tall, elegant and with sleek dark hair. The blue gown was enchanting. “Gorgeous! You know, that would be absolutely brilliant of Lacey. Do you give her that much credit?”

  “Who knows the cunning deception of the crazed,” recited Claire in a theatrically overacted voice.

  “Goodness, dear. Do you have an alibi for the week?” Zo went over to her, brushing cheek to cheek with a little air kiss, so as not to disturb makeup. “Let’s go.”

  The two stepped into the brass elevator already occupied by Cocoa and her husband Phil. The atmosphere was polite but cool. On the other hand, that was just Phil’s personality.

  “You look beautiful, Cocoa,” Zo said. “Emerald green becomes you.”

  Cocoa said thank you and looked the other way.

  “You also look very nice in your tux, Phil,” said Zo.

  Cocoa shot her a quick look and then away again.

  He lifted his upper lip in a semi-smile. Later Zo would say to Claire, “I know a Chihuahua that can smile better than that.”

  When they stepped out onto the ballroom floor, Dracula took the mike on a mini-stage under a spotlight. He looked very classic in his tux with tails. His bowtie was not easily seen because of his long goatee, but his ruby shirt studs were dazzling.

  “I have an excellent sound system in here,” he announced. “My selection of dance music is phenomenal. The hors d’oeuvres and drinks are superb. If you don’t have a good time, it is because you are not a fun person.”

  The dozen guests laughed.

  “The waitress is our own Lacey, making a lavish paycheck tonight.”

  She got an applause of acknowledgement.

  Their host continued. “She will be supplying glasses, ice, soft drinks, and a couple shot glasses. You will have to mix in your choice of alcohol, because she is eighteen.”

  He gestured toward the set-up wet bar.

  “Very well,” he said. “I will lead out with a dance. My beautiful partner is Zoey Kane.”

  The lights dimmed except for a fan of gold light along the walls.

  “What?” Zo said, taken by surprise. “Oh … sure.”

  Dracula came down off the darkened stage and held out his hand for Zo, who was walking out to meet him, the material of her gown irradiant.

  “We have done this before, my lovely,” he said.

  Zo was surprised by her skill—the swaying, the dipping and twirling, all seemingly flawless because of Dracula’s masterful lead. He didn’t flirt or kid. He was absolutely noble in his demeanor. And then it was over and there was an applause with comments and compliments. Lastly, he twirled Zo out for her bow, and then took a bow himself.

  He said to everyone, “I invite you to dance the night away now.”

  As people paired up, Dracula took the opportunity to say to Zo, “You look so beautiful.”

  “Thank you, dear friend.” She reached up and gave the old man a genuine hug.

  “Don’t ruin my night with the friend comment, my shy flower.”

  “Oh, sorry!”

  “I’m kiddink, lovely lady. I have to take care of business throughout the castle. So I will only be able to dance with you a couple of times tonight. Don’d doubt my regret.”

  “I understand, you work hard and put your whole heart into the business of your castle.”

  “You are observant.” He picked up Zo’s hand and kissed the back of her fingers. “Another time,” he said and then departed.

  Jim had showed up during Dracula and Zo’s dance, profusely apologized to Claire for being late. He was dressed in a black suit with a black bowtie, looking very nice.

  Zo walked around having a little sip of punch, a bite of sushi, a chocolate mint…

  The intercom rang behind the bar and Lacey in her black, flattering pantsuit answered. She then approached Zo, who had been standing off to the side watching others as she munched.

  “You have somebody at the front door who wants to talk to you,” she said.

  Zo couldn’t imagine who it would be. When she reached the front door, she opened it without peeking outside. Standing there was a tall, beautiful man—Kellen—dressed in a navy blue mariner tux with double-breasted brass buttons, his tie being a two-inch ribbon. Hair waved over his high, rounded collar.

  “Wow,” she said. Never had anyone taken her breath away like he did in that moment, smiling at her, looking so handsome.

  “I got this tux idea from the wardrobe at the theater,” he said. “Claire called and said you needed a date tonight. We can practice dance lessons.”

  “What a sneaky daughter I’ve got.” Her light brown eyes twinkled with approval. “Come in. Sounds like fun.”

  As he entered, Zo asked, “Did she also tell you that Cocoa and her husband are here?”

  “Yes,” he said, closing the door, and then escorted her by the arm. “She holds no control over me. By the way, you look absolutely beautiful in that dress.”

  They traveled up the elevator with smiles and chuckles. When the two entered the ballroom, Cocoa did a double-take, sloshing her drink, and then very rigidly turned her back to them.

  Zo noticed. “Tell me, Kellen—did you date Cocoa
at any time?”

  “Not at all.” He stood with her off to the side a moment to explain. “She brought her husband for a couple dance lessons. He has no footing or rhythm. Anyway, she began making advances on me, which I did not accept. She would actually be waiting at my car, or she’d swing by my house and later complain I wasn’t there. I hardly ever am. I have things I do away all the time. I’m very busy.”

  Zo listened intently.

  “Would you believe she threatened that her husband could get my lease canceled? She said with all the people who come to take dance lessons, it’s a parking nuisance. I just avoid her as much as possible now. Patrick’s even become sick of her.”

  “Hmmm.” Zo remembered the time Patrick warned her of all the cheap, garish clothing at Cocoa’s boutique. “What a story,” she said. “I think if you were a woman and she were a man, you’d be in trouble.”

  “I’ve already thought about a restraining order. Anyway, what is that, a Tango? We’ve practiced this. Shall we?”

  The evening was so fun. Claire spent time giggling with her date, making private jokes. Jim was quick with the hugs and hand holding. When it came to the Tango, they hammed it up really good.

  Actually Jim danced pretty well, and so far he only stepped on Claire’s toes once. She did threaten to make him take his shoes off, though.

  “Okay,” Jim had said to that, “you should know everybody here is going to think your date was able to get his suit and tie, but couldn’t afford the shoes.”

  Claire pictured that.

  “Think about it,” he said. “We’ll all be sitting around together crossing our legs, talking and there will be me, with gray socks wiggling a toe.” That struck Claire funny. “Don’t you think that would be a little distracting?”

  Claire conceded. “You win!”

  The Binger sisters took turns dancing with their pudgy, short date, Mr. Federbal. Sometimes all three together enjoyed a fast-tempo song. Federbal was holding up reasonably well, considering he had to dance most of the night without a break.

  Frank showed up in a charcoal, long-sleeved, button-down shirt. Walking in new jeans and tennis shoes, he grazed the hors d’oeuvres table. Then he and Lacey spent the evening holding arguments over everything. At one point, Frank was filming Lacey with his cell phone, telling her to now confess on camera of her impersonating a ghost.