Real Vampires and the Viking

by Gerry Bartlett

  “Then let’s forget it. Table the discussion.” He pulled the pins from my hair and let it cascade to my shoulders. “You want to go dancing. I’m game.”

  “Good. Because that’s about as serious as I want to be during this trip. You may not be Patrick Swayze or John Travolta, but you’re mine. So I’ll get you on the dance floor and make you look good. Are you sure you’re up for that?”

  “Gloriana, I am up for anything you throw my way. Try me.” He grinned and stood, tossing me on the bed. “Now let’s make sure the Sluten Suite bed is named correctly. How does the bed feel?” He grinned down at me when I threw open my robe.

  “Lonely. Come here, husband, and show me your horizontal moves. I’m convinced you’ve got the makings of a dance star in you. Because you definitely have rhythm.” I laughed when he landed on top of me.

  Rhythm. Oh yes, he did. It was very late by the time we were dressed and ready to find the discotheque. But there was no hurry. Twenty hours of night. A luxury. I dragged him down the hall, still glowing after the latest romp with my man. Too bad that niggling worry wouldn’t let me relax and enjoy. My long life had convinced me of one thing. Highs were always followed by lows. Damned if that wasn’t the truth.

  Chapter Two

  “Not sure this was a good idea, Jer.” I huddled under the fur lap robe. Jerry didn’t seem to feel the cold, in his element as he steered the reindeer away from the safety of a massive barn where dogs and more reindeer were kept.

  “We can’t just stay inside the entire three weeks, Gloriana. Don’t you want to see a bit of the countryside?” He had the shaggy creature with its massive horns actually trotting as it followed a well-worn path across the snow.

  “Snow, ice.” I waved a hand toward the monotonous landscape. “Oh, look. More snow and ice. Honestly, Jer, no one would be surprised if honeymooners never left their room at all.” I had to quit whining. Not attractive. But the biting cold and the unsteady sleigh made me remember doing a facer in a snowbank. No word yet on my beautiful cape and boots. If they were ruined…

  “Gloriana, you and I will have plenty of time for lovemaking. Pretend you are human. Breathe in the fresh air.” Jerry moved both reins to one hand and squeezed my thigh, even though I wasn’t sure how he found it under the mounds of furs and my insulated parka that was long enough to cover my knees. I’d had a lot of fun shopping in the hotel boutique. “Work up an appetite.” His hand moved upward. “You know what appetite I mean. And look up at the sky. It’s a beautiful night and the Northern Lights are putting on a fine show for us.”

  I leaned against him. “Okay, you’re right. They’re beautiful.” I covered his hand with my own. I had a new pair of gloves too. Jerry wouldn’t wear any. Macho man. “Where are we going?”

  “One of the drivers told me about an ice cave not too far from here. It will be a perfect place for our picnic.” Jerry laughed, his teeth gleaming in the starlight. “I guess we’ll dump the food the hotel packed for us and let wild animals enjoy it. It’s the hotel’s standard package. But don’t worry. I have plenty of blood, some with the champagne kick, for us in a pack in the back of the sleigh.”

  “That sounds lovely if we don’t freeze our buns off.” Oops, more whining.

  “I have a heater that runs on batteries too. We’ll set it up next to our furs.” Jerry glanced at me, his eyes twinkling. “I think I showed my moves last night to be up to your standards, vertical as well as horizontal.”

  I cupped his cheek in one hand. “You did! I can’t believe you managed to surprise me like that. I swear you put all the other men on the dance floor to shame.”

  “Florence gets all the credit. She drilled me until I mastered those dance steps. I’m surprised your best friend actually managed to keep it a secret.” He bit my glove and almost pulled it off. “The look on your face when I spun you out the first time made every minute spent with Flo the dance Nazi worth it.”

  I laughed, wishing I could have seen their sessions together. I knew he should be watching the path the reindeer had decided to gallop down but I couldn’t resist pulling Jerry’s face to mine for a long deep kiss. “It was a wonderful surprise. The best.” I sighed then snuggled against his hard body. “That you can still rock my world unexpectedly after all these years is just one reason I married you.”

  Jerry smiled then looked ahead at the path we were taking. “Now look what you’ve done. Distracted me so much I think we’ve taken a wrong turn. Not that I’m complaining.”

  I gazed around us. It was all snowy landscape and hills. Then I checked behind us. “How lost can we be? I can still see the Ice Palace in the distance. I’m sure Rudolph will trot home when he gets hungry.”

  “Rudolph? You’re giving this beast too lofty a name. This reindeer is contrary. One minute he’s running like his hooves are on fire, now he acts like he’s done for the night. Look at him, he’s barely moving.” Jerry had his hands full. The trail had disappeared altogether and, yes, Rudolph seemed to have run out of gas.

  “You’re doing a good job with him.” I held on when we hit a bump. We were definitely off the regular path. Jerry slapped the reins and I grabbed the railing when Rudolph took off again. He was contrary.

  “All right, there are the hills the drivers mentioned. We should be seeing some caves soon. The men said this area was riddled with them. But I was warned that the ice isn’t always stable and that we should be careful where we set up our picnic.” Jerry steered toward a nearby hill.

  “Look!” I pointed a well-insulated finger. “Do you think that’s a cave?”

  Jerry headed toward the dark opening in the hillside. Sure enough, as we got closer we could see the broad mouth of a cave, icicles hanging from it.

  “Icicles? That could mean there’s been some recent weather warm enough to cause melting here.” Jerry pulled the sleigh to a halt. “Doesn’t look too safe to me. Perhaps we should keep going.”

  “The icicles are frozen solid now. Not dripping. I like this cave. It’s big enough for you to stand up in and we’ll be out of the wind. You could toss down some of that hay the driver gave you for Rudolph and we could set up our furs for the picnic right inside.” I threw back the cover and leaped out of the sleigh. I’d had enough riding for a while. The sleigh wasn’t well-sprung, the seat little more than a board, and my butt felt it.

  “Let me check it out first, Gloriana.” Jerry jumped down, pitched some hay in front of the reindeer, and pulled out one of his knives. My man never went anywhere without at least three knives on his body. Why do you think he’d chosen the last name Blade this century?

  “Be careful. Are you seriously thinking there could be animals in there? Wolves?” I shivered, imagining a pack of starving wild beasts coming at us. I grabbed the picnic basket and checked inside to see if we had wolf bait that I could lure them away with. Not really, unless they’d stop for chocolate cake. Too bad I couldn’t try it. The smell made my mouth water.

  “You never know.” Jerry’s voice stopped my memories of a chocolate feast in Olympus. Not that I was eager to go up there again. Long story. “Gloriana, maybe you should get back in the sleigh while you wait to see what I find.” Jerry put on his fierce warrior face and stepped into the cave.

  “You’re enjoying this! Man against beast.” I wasn’t about to cower in the sleigh. “Really, Jerry, I don’t think Rudolph would be calmly chowing down on hay if he sensed wolves in the area. Would he?”

  “No, you’re right.” Jerry stopped in mid-march and looked over his shoulder. “I thank you for the reassurance and your vast knowledge of wildlife, Gloriana. You must have been watching the National Geographic channel again.”

  I muttered my opinion of that putdown and he grinned before he came back to kiss me. “Can’t I just know things? Huh?” I slapped his chest.

  “I love you, darling, but I know where you get your information. Nothing wrong with using the TV for it. Or the Internet. My twenty-first century woman.” He laughed, patted my bottom, and
then headed into the cave again. He still had his knife at the ready before he disappeared from sight.

  “I’m unpacking! You’re wasting your time when you could be getting me naked.” I grabbed a pile of furs and arranged them just inside the cave. We could see Rudolph and the sleigh but were downwind of him. He was pretty in a Christmassy kind of way but smelled like any barnyard animal. I pulled out the pack with the bottles of synthetic blood and two crystal goblets. Then I found the heater Jerry had mentioned. It was easy to use and I anchored it nearby, pushing the button to get it going on high. Soon the area around us was warm enough for me to shed my coat and gloves. Too bad it was also making the walls melt a little.

  “Well, this is a cozy scene.” Jerry strode back, sliding his knife into his ankle holster.

  “No wolf pelts with you? What a disappointment.” I poured blood into a goblet and handed it to him. “Drink a toast with me.”

  He settled on the furs beside me. “What are we toasting, my love?”

  “To us, may we always be as happy as we are right now.” I clinked my glass against his.

  “Perfect.” He stared into my eyes before we drained our glasses. He was leaning in for a kiss when a boom shook the ground beneath us so hard we knocked our heads together. The empty glasses tipped over, bottles rattled and icicles fell to the snow from the edge of the cave opening.

  “What in the hell was that?” I held onto Jerry and looked around frantically. Had one of our ancient enemies decided this was the time to settle an old score and ruin our honeymoon?

  “Ice-quake. The stable master told me we might hear one.” Jerry rubbed my back. “It happens out here sometimes. Like an earthquake, but caused by shifts in the ice.” He glanced around the cave. “Seriously. Relax.” He stood and surveyed the new piles of icicles near the entrance. “This doesn’t look too bad but we can’t see beneath the ice. Maybe we should move on. Go back to the hotel.”

  “So soon? I know I was reluctant, but now that we’re here, I’m into it. And we haven’t gotten to the main event yet, have we?” My heart was beating like a drum. That sudden sound had brought back all kinds of bad memories. We’d faced danger before and not always come out of it unharmed. I sat back. No sign of danger here though except from Mother Nature. I sure wasn’t letting a little noise ruin a chance for romance.

  “It was just a sound, Jer. The ground we’re on seems safe.” I looked up at solid ice. “Roof too. I see no reason to run.” I unzipped my leather vest. “Not when it’s play time.”

  “I’m all for that. Let’s play.” Jerry reached for a bottle of the champagne blood but stopped, his eyes on the cave entrance. “Where the hell is Rudolph? Damned contrary beast. The noise must have spooked him. He’s not where we left him.”

  “Oh, great. I don’t fancy walking back to the hotel.” I lay back on the furs. “Talk about a mood killer.”

  “Maybe he’s close enough for me to catch him. Let me see before you lose your mood.” Jerry kissed me then headed for the cave opening. “He was dragging a sleigh so I doubt he could go too far. Don’t worry, if I can’t find him, we can always call the hotel for a pick-up.”

  I knew Jerry really didn’t want to do that. He’d laid it on thick at the barn, bragging to the stable master about his experience handling the reins. Even so it had taken a big bribe to get us out of there without a driver. Admitting he’d lost his sleigh and reindeer would kill Jerry’s reputation with the locals who’d watched us closely as we’d headed out this evening.

  “You’ll find him. Calling the hotel is a last resort. Definitely.” I hid a smile, refilling my glass. “I’m going to wait here, working on my mood while you round up Rudolph. Don’t keep me waiting too long, lover boy.” I ran a fingertip down my scenic route, stopping Jerry in his tracks.

  “Gloriana, I’d say to hell with the reindeer except it’s a long walk back to the hotel and I don’t think we want to fly in, taking a chance we might be seen, do we?” He came back to give me a deep kiss, along with a fondle that had me sighing. “I’ll find that animal and be back before you can finish that glass.” He winked and loped out of the cave, a man on a mission.

  I sipped slowly, enjoying the light buzz from champagne. But then I had to see what Jerry was up against. Luckily he wasn’t that far away, talking to Rudolph as he grabbed for the reins. Rudolph treated it like a game, trotting along and shaking his horns when Jerry got close. I bit back a laugh when Jer used some strong language as the reindeer zig-zagged through the snow. A chill wind chased me back inside just as Jerry finally caught the edge of the sleigh and vaulted inside. Nicely done.

  I felt compelled to explore a little, to see what was further along the narrow path that led inside the cave. It was bigger than I’d first thought. I walked along what was barely a trail between fallen rocks and ice. The ice-quake had shaken loose more of the ceiling back here. I should really turn around, maybe even encourage Jerry to pack up and head back. But I couldn’t. I didn’t understand it, but I needed to keep going. Something called to my paranormal instincts. I laughed at myself. Yeah right. I had seen ghosts before, even in my own shop back home, but I didn’t sense them in this frigid place where my breath made clouds. I was letting my imagination run wild.

  I turned to head back when another ice-quake knocked me off my feet. Ice, rocks and debris fell all around me and I screamed, trying to protect my head.

  “Gloriana!” Jerry called my name. “Are you all right?”

  “Yes. Stay there. I’m coming. I stayed against the wall, crawling toward the entrance when another loud boom and a crack made me stop. There was a huge crash and something landed next to me while more ice fell all around. I waited, wondering if I was going to be buried here, stuck forever in this cold and dark place.

  I could hear Jerry calling my name over and over again as I tried to move my arms. Rocks, ice. It was on top of me, around me, weighing me down. But Jerry was close. I could hear him digging, desperate to get to me. I sobbed, spitting out dirt as I wiggled my arms to dislodge the rocks holding them down.

  “I see you. Stay still. I’m getting you out!” Jerry sounded frantic but he was tossing rocks like a mad man, heaving them away until I felt a blast of cold air hit my face. “Gloriana. Are you hurt?” He reached for my hair and gently pushed it back. “Say something.”

  “I’m, I’m okay. Just get me out of here. I can’t move my arms.” I wasn’t going to cry. But I felt so damned helpless. God, I hated that.

  “Working on it, my love. I’ve almost got it.” He brushed dirt from my face then kept digging, pulling aside chunks of ice from my right side. “See if you can pull your arm up now.”

  I realized he had made enough space around it for me to push it free myself. After that it was easy. I could heave rocks away myself and soon he was lifting me away from the piles of debris to hold me in his arms.

  “Jerry.” I rested against his chest and just held on. “I was scared I was going to be buried alive.”

  “I would never have left you here.” He breathed against my hair. “Are you hurt?”

  “No, no. Just shaky.” I saw that he had scraped his hands and they were bleeding. “Look at you.”

  “Never mind that. We have to get out of here. This place isn’t safe now.” He started to carry me out of the cave toward where we had laid our furs.

  “Wait!” I knew there was something I had seen and felt as I’d been trapped in the ice. “Put me down. I need . . .” I wobbled but I could stand. I gazed around the mess that had been a large cave and there it was. Something dark against the unrelenting white of the snow and ice. Not a rock. Those were almost as white as the snow and ice that covered them.

  “Jerry, look!” I pointed with a shaking finger.

  Jerry squatted down and peered at what I was showing him. “What the hell?”

  “It’s, it’s a man. Holy shit, Jer. This guy was frozen in here.” I shivered, thinking how it could happen. How it had almost happened to me. Despite being e
ncased in ice, he looked in pretty decent shape. “We have to dig this person out, Jerry. We have to take him to the heater and furs.” I tugged at his coat. “There’s a chance that we can thaw him and he might be able to come back. Alive!”

  “Now that’s nonsense. No one could survive being frozen like that.” Jerry stood and pulled out his phone. “I can’t believe I’ve got a signal. We should tell the authorities. The poor soul is obviously dead. The police should handle this. You’ve found a victim of the elements, Gloriana.”

  “The authorities? Really?” We exchanged a look. We both had spent long lives avoiding entanglements and usually impossible explanations with government types.

  “All right. Maybe we’ll see what we’ve got here first.” Jerry shoved his phone back into his hip pocket.

  “I’m telling you, Jer. I saw this thing on TV. People almost frozen were brought back to life.”

  Jerry actually rolled his eyes. “There’s no ‘almost’ for this person, Gloriana. Look at the situation. We’re in the middle of nowhere. And there’s no telling how long this poor fool has been on ice.”

  “Okay, okay. So there’s a slim chance. But check out the condition of his body. It’s not a skeleton. Or decayed like a corpse would be.” I swallowed, thinking about that. Yeah, I’m a vampire but that doesn’t mean I can’t be grossed out. “He’s flesh and blood. Buried in ice and left for dead.” I ran back to get my gloves. “Come on. Humor me.” I shoved on my gloves then began digging around the body. “What are you waiting for? Please? Help me.”

  “Here we go.” Jerry gave me his “She’s crazy but I love her anyway” look and muttered under his breath about this not being his idea of a “honeymoon activity.”

  “That’s my guy. Or not.” I flinched when Jer began hacking at the snow next to me with one of his knives. “You want to finish him off? Kill him if he’s not already dead?”

  “I can’t watch. I’m going to get the heater.” I hurried to do just that.

  “There’s excess ice around him, Gloriana. No need to drag more than necessary.” He continued to cut away snow and ice. “Look at him.” Jerry was working around the man’s head. Yes, we could see it was a man, a big one. “Bring that heater closer. Poor bastard. This must be some poor soul who either got lost out here and froze or was put on ice, I guess you could say, while still living. I’ve heard of the practice. It’s a cruel punishment. Something the Vikings might have done centuries ago.”