Rebel Cause (Boys of Fallout Book 3)

by Cassandra Giovanni

  “Are you trying to kill me?” he whispers as he uses to his hand to tilt my face back up.

  “Do you feel like you’re dying?” I reply as I let my eyes meet his.

  He shakes his head, his hands finding my waist and pulling me up, so he can kiss me again. His hands slip under my shirt to the small of my back, causing goose bumps to trail over my skin and me to take a sharp breath to steady myself. Kellin’s hands move up my body, pulling my shirt over my head. His eyes drift over my chest and my body trembles with nerves.

  Kellin leans forward, taking my face in his hands as he whispers, “You’re beautiful, Reese. Every single inch of you.”

  His nose grazes my neck, over my earlobe and his lips hover there. “And whether or not you believe it, I can’t believe you’re mine.”

  I turn my face to him, opening my eyes and taking his hand and placing it over my heart so he can feel it pounding. “As long as you want me.”

  He copies my movements, so my hand is over his heart. “Forever, Ree. That’s what I want.”

  I let my hands glide up and over his shoulders to the back of his head, tangling in his short brown hair as I kiss him slowly, pressing our bare skin together. Kellin’s hands drift down my sides until they reach my hips, where he hesitates, thumbs beneath the material of my pajamas. His breath hitches as he squeezes his eyes shut, licking his lips. I lean down, kissing him again and moving his hands with my own until the shorts drop from my body. Kellin shifts his body over mine, his lips caressing the curve of my neck, down my shoulder and arm to the tattoo on my wrist. My back arches as I suck in a deep breath. I can feel the smile on his lips against my skin as he kisses the tattoo, my whole body trembling with the feeling until I can’t stand it anymore. I lean up, pulling his body closer to mine as I drag my lips across where the words meet his sleeve. Kellin’s body shudders as I continue to kiss his tattoos, my hands drifting down to his boxers and pulling them off. He hovers over me, the muscles in his arms quivering against his body weight as he leans his forehead against mine, breath teasing my lips. I lean up, and his arm slides beneath my waist as I arch against him, pulling his lip piercing into my mouth.

  And he’s mine.

  Every inch of him.

  Chapter 23

  I roll over in Kellin’s bed, stretching to put my arms around him, but there’s no one there. I open my eyes as I sit up and swallow hard. My eyes find where I know his messenger bag hangs when he’s not at class.

  It’s gone.

  I pull on my clothes and head out into the hallway, and then down the stairs. Lindy sits at the table eating a toaster pastry and looks up at me with a smile.

  “I figured you would’ve left with Kellin,” she says as she stands and goes to the fridge to grab a bottle of water. “If I knew you were still home I would’ve suggested we go get breakfast.”

  I sit down as my stomach clenches.

  “Want me to heat you up some toaster pastries?” Lindy asks.

  “Huh?” I look up, and she waves the box at me. “No, I’m not hungry. Do you think he’s mad at me?”

  Lindy’s pale eyebrows hunch over her eyes. “Why? He didn’t tell you he was leaving early?”

  I shake my head.

  “Well, he better not be mad because we had a girls’ day yesterday. I’ll kick his ass — you’re mine too,” she replies, and I can’t help but smile. “Hey, at least we can’t go to school together for once! It’ll be like old times.”

  I laugh as I stand to get ready. “True, that is a benefit.”

  I text Kellin when I get upstairs and then head into the shower. I figure he’ll text me back by the time I’m finished getting ready, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t meet me after classes or text me all day. My head is ready to explode by the time I make it to Lindy’s car. Her classes got out earlier than mine, but I asked her to get me since my boyfriend has suddenly gone M.I.A.

  “You okay?” Lindy asks when I get in the car and tip my head back with my eyes closed.

  Waves of nausea wash over me, making me hot and cold as I swallow.

  “I don’t know,” I answer, and Lindy twists in her seat as I open my eyes. “Kellin hasn’t replied to me all day.”

  Lindy tilts her head. “He’s a big boy. I’m sure he’s okay.”

  I chew on my lip. “I know, but I think he’s avoiding me.”

  “Why would he–” her voice drifts and her eyes widen. “Oh… you guys…”

  I wince, squeezing my eyes shut again as my skull threatens to crack.

  Lindy takes my hands in hers. “He’s not like that, Ree. You should know he loves you. Something else must be going on.”

  “When was the last time Kellin didn’t tell me something?” I ask, and it’s Lindy’s turn to wince. She knows just as well as I do that he tells me everything. The only things he’s ever kept from me are things he thinks will hurt me. “Maybe I did suck.”

  Lindy swallows hard. “I can’t believe I’m going to ask this, but did he seem to enjoy himself?”

  As awkward as this conversation must be for Lindy, she’s still here for me 150%, and I’m glad for it. I run my fingers through my hair; the hair Kellin’s face was buried in as he moaned my name.

  “I think so unless he’s a really good actor,” I reply with a shrug. “I’ve never had sex like that… I mean it felt different in a good way– really intimate. Like beyond what it is normally… like we were sharing a part of ourselves with one another.”

  Lindy’s mouth drops. “I need to fall in love.”

  I laugh. “I mean I… you know… like multiple times.”

  She blinks at me. “Usually the girl is the one faking, so lets go with that is not what the issue is here. Maybe he’s just scared by how intimate it was.”

  I inhale through my nose nodding.

  Lindy reaches over and squeezes my hand. “No matter what, I think you should talk to him about it.”

  “At what point do I just look like a stupid, desperate girl?” I ask as I swipe my finger across my cell phone screen. “I’ve already text him five times today.”

  “Good news is, he can’t avoid you forever. He lives with us, and he’ll need a change of clothes eventually,” Lindy replies, and her voice is light, not burdened with the worry that races through me. “Relax, Ree. I’m positive that everything is fine. Kell will tell you what’s up when he gets home.”

  ~~~

  My eyes flutter open as I hear the sound of someone stumbling up the stairs. There it is again, and it definitely isn’t Lindy. I sit up and slip out of bed not bothering to put anything over my skimpy tank top and short shorts. Kellin ignored me all day, and now he’s stumbling up the stairs drunk off his ass.

  “Mother fucker,” I hear Kellin swear as I open the door and he trips, almost falling backward down the stairs.

  “Kellin!” I hiss, stepping forward and slinging his arm around my neck.

  “Ree,” he mumbles, his eyes glassy as he looks up at me. He isn’t that drunk, but it’s enough that trying to get up a set of stairs in the dark isn’t going to work. “Please don’t be pissed.”

  I swallow hard as we walk into his room. He sinks to the floor in front of the bed and puts his head on his knees as I turn on the light and shut the door.

  “Why are you drunk?” I ask as I slide down to sit next to him and my body is cold with fear that he’s going to admit I’m a mistake.

  “The guys wanted to celebrate, and I…I just kind of wanted to forget,” he mumbles into his arms.

  “So that’s why you didn’t text me at all today?” I ask, and my muscles finally relax after a day of being wound taut.

  Kellin sighs. “Do you know who Jace Smith is?”

  I nod. “Yeah, he was the lead singer of Undertow until they kicked him out.”

  “Well, he’s starting his own label, and he’s been searching for talent.” He swallows. “He wants Beneath to sign on with him, Ree. I don’t know what to do. I was just doing this for fun, but I think the guys al
ways wanted more than that.”

  “Think?” I ask, and I chew on the inside of my cheek as I wait for his answer.

  He shrugs. “They were all so excited.”

  “And what about you? Do you want to be signed?” I ask as the thought of him touring across the country comes to mind. The idea makes a hard knot in my stomach. I trust him, but that lifestyle isn’t something I’m sure I want to be around.

  “We’re all so different…the guys and me. Life’s a party to them, and the only part of my life where I let loose is in my music. I can barely handle a few shots of whiskey and tequila. They hammered down three times what I did and were still walking straight.” He swallows, his eyes squeezing together as if the taste is making him sick. “They do it every night. I can’t live like that. Plus…I mean…you and me–do you want a life like that? Your boyfriend living on the road?”

  The blood rushes through my ears, and the sickening knot becomes a hoard of dancing butterflies. “You think about a life with me?”

  Kellin turns to face me, his eyes bloodshot but deadly serious as they focus on me. “I kind of always have. Don’t you?”

  “I couldn’t imagine a life without you,” I whisper as my eyes race across his and the butterflies riot inside me.

  “I wish I weren’t half wasted,” Kellin replies as he reaches up and cups my chin.

  I can’t help but smile. “Why is that?”

  Kellin smirks, and the butterflies explode into something completely different, sending warmth from my cheeks down my body. I know exactly what he’s thinking about.

  “I’d rather be completely sober for that,” he finally replies.

  “What makes you think you’d be getting lucky if you were?” I try to steady my voice, but it still comes out shaky, and it’s obvious I’m thinking about it.

  “No reason,” he replies as he stands and pulls his jeans off before sliding into bed. He scoots over and smiles up at me. I narrow my eyes at him before giving in and climbing into the warmth of his arms.

  Chapter 24

  I roll over into Kellin’s arms, and he kisses my head. My body tingles with warmth as I look up at him. I’m glad that this time I’m waking up in his arms and not alone. It’s an amazing feeling.

  “Good Morning,” he whispers into my hair.

  “How are you doing?”

  He inhales deeply, his chest rising and then falling. “Much better.”

  “So what are you going to do?” I ask as I let my eyes fall to my fingers. I trace the words of his tattoo across his chest that’s hidden beneath the soft cotton of his shirt.

  Kellin doesn’t reply, but I feel his eyes on me. I don’t let mine drift up to his until I finish tracing each letter. He opens his mouth but then closes it, shaking his head. “You know exactly where each letter is without seeing them.”

  “Yeah.”

  He moves up in the bed, tilting my chin with his hand and bringing my lips to his. His mouth dances against mine as his hands tangle in my already-a-mess hair, and I pull my body over his.

  Kellin pulls away and presses his forehead to mine as his thumbs trace circles on my cheeks. “Why would I ever want to be signed to a label when I’d have to be away from you?”

  “You’ll get bored of me at some point…and you’ll regret not taking the offer and having a different girl every night,” I tease, but my eyes are locked on his, waiting for his answer.

  He shakes his head, his Adam’s apple rising and falling before he replies, “I’ll never get bored of you, Ree. Every day you amaze me. I love you. No one else can ever amount to you.”

  I close my eyes before leaning down and whispering in his ear, “Are you sober now?”

  Kellin’s chest moves against mine as he chuckles. “Very much so.”

  “Good,” I reply, kissing his neck and up to his ear. I nip at his earlobe before letting my lips trail down again and his body shudders beneath me.

  “Kellin!” Lindy’s voice comes through the door, and I freeze above Kellin.

  “Yeah,” Kellin says, and I move to the side of him as she opens the door.

  “Oh, there you are,” Lindy says, eyebrows rising into her forehead. “So I see you guys kissed and made up.”

  “Huh?” Kellin asks, looking from Lindy to me. “We weren’t fighting.”

  Lindy purses her lips, pointing at him. “Right, sorry about that. I heard you stumbling up the stairs last night. You don’t usually get drunk, is everything alright?”

  “The boys got a bit rowdy is all…and I can’t hold my liquor.”

  “Real manly!” she shoots at him and then looks at me. “Do you still want to go to that sale at the outlets today?”

  “Yeah, of course,” I reply.

  “I’ll go get us some Starbucks, so you guys can…finish whatever you were doing.” The smile on her face turns into a cringe, and she shakes her head before asking, “What can I get you?”

  “Hazelnut latte,” Kellin replies, looking over at me and then back to her. “And Reese likes the same except non-fat and decaf.”

  Lindy rolls her eyes. “I know what Reese drinks. I’m her best friend too.”

  Kellin laughs. “Right.”

  She narrows her eyes at him and then looks over at me. “I’ll be back in twenty-five minutes, will that give you enough time?”

  “Sure,” I glance over at Kellin. “I just need to take a shower.”

  Kellin’s eyebrows rise, and a smirk comes to his lips.

  Lindy makes a gagging noise before closing the door.

  “Shower?” Kellin asks, leaning forward and kissing my neck. “Can I join you?”

  “How else will I get clean?” I ask, slipping out of bed and running to the bathroom and stripping off my clothes. I turn on the water before Kellin even gets to the door.

  “That’s not fair,” Kellin says as he comes in, and his mouth drops.

  “Does this make-up for it?” I bite my lip as his eyes trail over my naked body.

  He inhales through his nose before stepping forward and pulling me into his arms. His lips move down my body, and a tremble races through me before we step back and into the shower.

  ~~~

  “I don’t know how I’m going to tell them,” Kellin says as he dries his hair. “I mean…they expect me to do this. It’s what every band wants.”

  “Do you think sometimes we spend so much time trying to do what others expect of us, that sometimes we just end up failing ourselves?” I ask as I slip on my shirt and pull my hair into a ponytail.

  Kellin steps forward and slides the ponytail back out, so my damp hair falls around my shoulders. He smirks down at me.

  “Yes,” he replies as he runs his fingers through my curls.

  I close my eyes, and his lips meet my own, slowly moving over them and down my neck to my ear. “The only person I’m worried about failing is you.”

  “The only way you can fail me as by not being yourself,” I reply as his lips trail back up to meet mine, and I place my hands on his bare shoulders.

  “I’m always myself with you,” he says.

  “And I love that,” I reply, and my chest tightens as I look at his beautiful tattoos and then his lip ring. “You should be yourself with everyone.”

  Kellin swallows, and his eyes fall from mine. “You’re talking about our families?”

  “They’ll accept you,” I say, tilting his chin up, so he’s looking at me. “They accepted a purple-haired me.”

  “Did you tell your parents about that?” he asks, nodding to my wrist and my body tenses. “You’re afraid to show them that. Imagine showing them this?”

  He signals to the art that dances over his skin in beautiful patterns.

  “Your parents and mine will love you exactly the way you really are. Lindy and I do. A few tattoos won’t change that.”

  Kellin’s eyes are sad as if he’s afraid he’s disappointing me. “I’m sorry, Ree. Not yet. I can’t.”

  “Okay,” I say, and I lean up on my
toes to kiss him. “Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be by your side.”

  “Reese?” Lindy calls up the stairs, and Kellin nods for me to go.

  “I love you,” I say, and he gives me a weak smile before stepping aside so I can go finish getting dressed.

  “Just a minute,” I reply, and when I open the door, Lindy is standing at the bottom of the stairs with her arms crossed.

  She rolls her eyes as she takes the steps two at a time. “I knew it wouldn’t be enough time.”

  “We were talking,” I reply as I head into my room.

  “About?” she asks as she plops on my bed.

  I go into my walk-in closet and pick out an outfit before changing and coming back out.

  “Him outing his rebellious self to your parents and mine.”

  Lindy stands and blinks at me. “It’s been how many years? I think he’ll be taking that one to the grave.”

  “It’s not right,” I reply, and Lindy shrugs. “He should be himself around everyone.”

  “It’s not a battle you’re going to win, Reese,” she says and my eyes land on Kellin’s door.

  My mind starts to tick, and I stop at the bottom of the stairs. Lindy turns to look at me with one eyebrow raised.

  “Maybe the other side should deploy a sneak attack.”

  Lindy slowly shakes her head. “That’s a bad idea. Kellin would never forgive us.”

  I sigh as I look up the stairs.

  She’s right.

  “Yeah,” I say.

  Chapter 25

  Lindy tips back and forth, chewing on her lip as we wait to get into the venue where Kellin’s band is playing. I grab her elbow, raising my eyebrows and she takes a deep breath. I’ve never seen Lindy this nervous before, and it makes me smile. It’s cute to see her be so interested in someone that she cares so much. She frets with the hem of her shirt as her eyes go back to the front of the venue and the line moves. She’s dressed about as rebellious as she gets in black skinny jeans, ripped to an inch of their lives and a pink dolman sweater with chunky black jewelry. She tops it off with a pair of wicked wedges, which I warned her probably weren’t the best idea, but Lindy isn’t willing to wear my Chucks, Keds or a pair of my leopard print flats. It’s heels or nothing.