Mr. (Not Quite) Perfect

by Jessica Hart

  ‘It reminds me of when we were first married,’ Karen said with a reminiscent smile at her husband. ‘I didn’t care as long as I could be with you.’

  ‘Mind you, we were never really apart,’ said Bob, covering her hand with his. ‘We were high school sweethearts. I fell in love with Karen the moment I saw her, didn’t I, honey?’

  Max couldn’t understand it. Bob was supposed to be talking about contracts and deliverables, or quizzing Max on his project experience, not wittering on about love. Naturally, Allegra was encouraging him.

  ‘Oh, that’s so wonderful!’ she cried, clapping her hands together. ‘So you two believe in love at first sight?’

  Max wanted to drop his head onto the table.

  ‘We sure do,’ said Bob with a fond glance at his wife, who gazed adoringly back at him. ‘How about you two? You known each other a long time?’

  ‘Years,’ said Allegra, launching into an explanation of her friendship with Libby. ‘For most of that time, Max and I ignored each other completely.’

  ‘Aha!’ Karen leaned forward. ‘So what changed?’

  For the first time, Allegra’s cheery confidence faltered. ‘I...well, I’m not sure...it just crept up on us, I guess.’ And then she had the nerve to turn to him. ‘What do you think, Max? When did you first realise that you were in love with me?’

  It was as if the restaurant had jarred to a halt. The world went still and Max was frozen with it, pinned into place as Allegra’s words rang in his head.

  When did you first realise that you were in love with me?

  He couldn’t be in love with Allegra, Max thought in panic. There was some mistake. He’d put his hand up to momentary lust perhaps, but love? No, no, no, no. She was pretending, Max reminded himself with a touch of desperation. She didn’t really believe he was in love with her.

  So why had her words settled into place in his head as if they belonged there?

  Allegra turned in her seat so that Bob and Karen couldn’t see her give him a warning dead-eye look. ‘Was it when I let you paint my toenails?’ she asked.

  Paint...? What? Max’s brows snapped together until he realised belatedly that she was trying to prod him into responding. God knew what his expression had looked like as he’d sat there, stunned at the realisation that he had, in fact, fallen in love with Allegra.

  Fool that he was.

  But not so foolish he would humiliate himself by letting anyone guess, Allegra least of all.

  Max recovered himself with an effort. ‘I think it was more when I realised how distraught you were at the idea of me going to Shofrar,’ he said, pretending to consider the matter. He looked at Bob and Karen. ‘It was only then I understood just what I meant to her.’

  There was a whack on his arm. ‘I was not distraught!’ Allegra said indignantly.

  ‘You were weeping and wailing and begging me not to go, remember?’

  ‘You are such a big fibber!’ she protested, but she was laughing too.

  ‘I’m a fibber? What was that about me painting your toenails?’

  ‘I never cry,’ she insisted to Karen, who looked from one to the other in amusement.

  ‘Well, however you fell in love, I can just tell that you two are perfect together!’

  ‘We think so, don’t we, sweetheart?’ That was Allegra again, playing it for all it was worth. She leant confidingly towards Karen. ‘Of course, Max can be a bit grumpy at times, but I know he adores me.’

  The little minx.

  Fortunately Bob chose that moment to ask Max about the project he was working on and Max seized on the chance to drag the conversation back to safe territory.

  But Karen was asking about the wedding, and Max found it harder than he’d thought to concentrate on engineering while beside him Allegra had launched into a vivid description of an imaginary wedding ceremony, her dress, what the bridesmaids would be wearing, how the tables would be decorated, and a host of other details that Max had never even considered in connection with a wedding.

  He listened incredulously with one ear. Where did Allegra get all this stuff from? Oh, God, now she was sketching outfits on the back of an envelope she’d dug out of her jewelled bag and Karen was oohing and aahing.

  ‘Oh, that’s darling!’ she exclaimed, and in spite of himself Max craned his neck to see what Allegra had drawn. There she stood in a slender dress with a low wide neckline and that was unmistakably him next to her, dressed in a morning suit and a flowery waistcoat.

  ‘Over my dead body,’ he muttered in Allegra’s ear, and she pressed her lips together but he could see her body shaking with suppressed giggles.

  ‘Women and weddings, huh?’ said Bob as Max caught his eye. ‘Take my advice, just go along with whatever they want.’

  ‘I guess your mom will want to be involved in the wedding plans too?’ Karen said to Allegra, ignoring the men.

  ‘Er, yes.’ Max could see Allegra trying to imagine poring over table decorations with Flick. ‘Yes, she will, of course, but really it’s just between Max and me, isn’t it?’

  ‘Quite right,’ said Bob, ‘and the sooner you get on with it the better, am I right, Max? But I’m not sure you’re going to have time to get married before you go out to Shofrar. You’ll have to come back for the wedding.’

  Max looked at Bob and then at Allegra, whose face lit with excitement. ‘Does that mean...?’ she asked Bob, and he nodded and smiled.

  ‘Sure. Of course Max gets the job.’

  Allegra squealed with excitement and flung her arms around Max. ‘Oh, Max, you got it! You’re going to Shofrar!’

  Her cheek was pressed against his, and unthinkingly his arms closed around her, pulling her tight. Bob and Karen were watching indulgently and when Allegra turned her head and smiled, it seemed the most natural thing in the world to kiss her.

  Her mouth was soft and lusciously curved and so close it would have been rude not to, in fact. And it would look good, Max thought hazily, unable to wrench his gaze from her lips. The Laskovskis were expecting him to kiss Allegra. That was what engaged couples did when they got good news. It would seem odd if he didn’t kiss her.

  One hand slid up her spine to the nape of her neck. For one still moment he looked straight into the deep, mossy green of Allegra’s eyes and all rational thought evaporated. There was nothing but her warmth, her scent, her mouth.

  Her mouth.

  He couldn’t resist any longer. He’d forgotten why he needed to, forgotten everything but the need to seal the gap between them. He drew her head towards him—or perhaps she leant closer; Max never knew—and angled his lips against hers, and the taste and the touch of her blew his senses apart so that he could almost have sworn that the restaurant swung wildly around them.

  She was warm and responsive, pliant against him, and their mouths fitted together as if they were meant for each other. The astonishing rightness of it rose in his chest and surged through him like a tide, blocking out doubts, blocking out reason, blocking out everything that wasn’t Allegra: the scent of her, the feel of her, the sweetness of her.

  Afterwards, Max calculated that the kiss couldn’t have lasted more than a few seconds, but at the time it seemed to stretch to infinity and beyond. He never knew where he found the strength to pull away, but somehow he had drawn back and was staring into her eyes once more. The lovely green was dark and dazed, and her expression was as stunned as his must have been.

  ‘Yep,’ said Bob to Karen, ‘the sooner those two get married the better, I’d say.’

  Desperately, Max tried to pull himself together. His blood was pounding, which was crazy. It had just been a kiss, hardly more than a peck on the lips. There was no reason for his heart to be throbbing still like that, for his lungs to have forgotten how to function.

  He had to get a grip, focus on the jo
b. He had what he wanted. He was going to Shofrar to be a project manager, just like he had planned. He ought to be elated, not thinking about the way Allegra’s words were ringing in his ears: You’re going to Shofrar, she had exclaimed in delight.

  You’re going, not we’re going.

  They were all picking up their glasses and Bob was toasting Max’s promotion. Max stretched his mouth into a smile.

  You, not we.

  That was how it should be, Max told himself. In a few weeks, he would get on a plane and fly out to the desert and Allegra wouldn’t be there. He would get on with his life and she would get on with hers. Their lives were on separate tracks, heading in different directions.

  If Libby ever got married, they might meet at her wedding or the occasional christening but that was far in the future. They might have forgotten this evening by then, forgotten that kiss, or perhaps they would share a wry smile at the memory. It wouldn’t matter then.

  Max couldn’t imagine it.

  He stole a glance at Allegra. She looked as if she had forgotten it already, he thought with resentment. She wasn’t flailing off balance. There was a faint flush along her cheekbones, but otherwise she seemed perfectly composed as she chatted to Karen.

  ‘What are you going to do with yourself in Shofrar, Allegra?’ Karen asked. ‘If Max is anything like Bob, he’ll be at work all day. You really need a career that can travel with you.’

  Allegra opened her mouth but Max got in first. ‘Allegra’s an illustrator,’ he said. ‘She’s going to write and illustrate children’s books.’

  ‘Really?’ Karen was fascinated but Allegra was already shaking her head.

  ‘Oh, well, I’m not sure I’m good enough,’ she began.

  ‘She’s brilliant,’ Max told Karen, ignoring Allegra’s kick under the table. ‘She just doesn’t know it.’

  It was true, he thought. She would be so much happier illustrating rather than running around meeting the crazy deadlines at Glitz, but she wouldn’t change because for some reason Flick had a bee in her bonnet about Allegra’s drawing. She was always putting it down, so of course Allegra thought it wasn’t good enough, but Max was convinced her illustrations had something special about them.

  Karen made Allegra tell her all about the book she was going to write and, in spite of the vengeful looks Allegra was sending his way, Max noticed that she had plenty of ideas. She might say that she was dedicated to journalism but she had obviously thought about the stories starring the infamous Derek the Dog. Max wished she would write the book and forget about Flick’s opinion for once. Perhaps she never would in real life, but at least she could pretend to have the perfect career for this evening.

  Because this evening was all they had. After tonight, the pretence was over. He had better not forget that.

  Beside Max, Allegra was wishing Karen wouldn’t ask quite so many interested questions about a book she had no intention of writing. They were just silly little stories she had made up, not even a real book, but Karen certainly seemed thrilled by the idea and claimed her grandchildren would love Derek the Dog. If she wasn’t careful she would find herself writing the pesky thing, Allegra thought with an inner sigh. She could just imagine what Flick would think of that!

  Perhaps she could use a pseudonym?

  Aware of a flicker of excitement at the thought, Allegra pushed it firmly out of sight. She had enough going on in her head right now, what with thinking about a non-existent book and trying not to think about the way Max had kissed her.

  And especially not about the way she had kissed him back.

  There was a disquieting prickle still at the nape of her neck where his hand had rested. Her lips felt tender, as if his had seared hers, and she kept running the tip of her tongue over them, as surreptitiously as she could, checking that they hadn’t swollen.

  The jolt of sensation when their mouths met had shaken her. Kissing Max wasn’t supposed to feel like that. It was supposed to be a meaningless peck of the lips, the kind of kiss she gave out every day to her colleagues at Glitz.

  It was hard to tell what Max thought about it. For one breathless moment afterwards they had stared at each other, but then his eyes had shuttered and now he was immersed in a technical discussion with Bob. He was talking about concrete. It wasn’t fair. He shouldn’t be able to kiss her and then calmly carry on discussing road building!

  Karen and Bob were entertaining company and the meal was delicious, but Allegra couldn’t enjoy it. She was too aware of Max, who was his usual taciturn self, and who, having kissed her and dropped her in it with Karen, had proceeded to ignore her for the rest of the evening.

  It wasn’t good enough, Allegra thought crossly, tapping her Jimmy Choos under the table. She had done everything he’d asked of her. She’d been charming, but Max hadn’t even tried. If it wasn’t for her, he wouldn’t even have his rotten job, Allegra decided, but now he’d got what he wanted he had obviously decided he didn’t need to bother with her any more.

  Her smile was brittle by the time they said goodbye to Bob and Karen outside the restaurant. The Laskovskis were walking back to their hotel and, after one glance at Allegra’s shoes, Max didn’t even bother to suggest the Tube. Instead he put his fingers in his mouth and whistled at a passing taxi. If it had been Allegra, the taxi would have sailed on past in the other direction and she didn’t know whether to be relieved or put-out that it responded instantly to Max’s whistle, turning across the traffic and drawing up exactly in front of them.

  Her feet were definitely relieved.

  Haughtily, she got in and made a big performance of putting on her seat belt. Max told the taxi driver the address and settled beside her, apparently unperturbed by the taut silence. Allegra folded her lips together. She wasn’t going to break it. She had made enough small talk for one night, thank you very much! She turned her head away and looked pointedly out of the window, but she was so aware of him sitting just a matter of inches away across the seat that she might as well have turned and stared right at him.

  It wasn’t even as if he was doing anything. He was just sitting still, his face in shadow, his eyes fixed on the ticking taxi meter. He could at least jiggle his leg or do something annoying so that she had an excuse to snap at him. As it was, she was just getting crosser and crosser, and more and more frustrated.

  Why, why, why had he had to kiss her like that? It had been all right up to then. The pretence had been fun and she had been able to dismiss her bizarre awareness of him as a temporary aberration, a passing symptom of sexual frustration. Nothing that meant anything, anyway. She’d been able to think of him as just Max.

  He’d spoiled everything by kissing her. It had been so perfect, as if her whole life had just been about getting her to that place, that moment, where everything else had fallen away and there had just been her and Max and a longing for it never to end gusting through her.

  How could she think of him as just Max now?

  She wished he’d never kissed her.

  She wished he’d kiss her again.

  The realisation of just how much she wanted it made Allegra suck in her breath. This was mad. She was furious with Max. She couldn’t want to kiss him at the same time. She couldn’t want him to reach across and pull her towards him, couldn’t want his hands on her, his mouth on her, not when he’d ignored her all night and clearly had no interest in kissing her again.

  But she did.

  The silence lengthened, stretched agonizingly. Just when Allegra opened her mouth to break it, unable to bear it any longer, Max let out a sigh.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ he said simply.

  At least it gave her the excuse to turn and look at him. ‘Sorry?’ she echoed, unable to stop the pent-up frustration from tumbling out. ‘I should think so! Do you have any idea how hard I worked all evening to suck up to the Laskovskis? I got you yo
ur bloody job all by myself!’

  ‘I know,’ Max began, but Allegra wasn’t stopping now that she had started.

  ‘You hardly said a word all evening—oh, except to embarrass me by telling Karen I was going to write a book! What did you do that for?’

  ‘I think you should write one. I think it would be brilliant.’

  Allegra wasn’t going to be mollified. ‘It would not be! It would be stupid! I had to sit there and pretend that I was all excited about it and now Karen’s expecting me to send her a copy when it’s published! It’s not funny,’ she added furiously, spotting the ghost of a smile hovering around Max’s mouth. ‘I felt an absolute fool. As if it wasn’t bad enough pretending to be in love with you!’

  ‘You did it really well,’ said Max. ‘You were brilliant at that too, and you’re right, you got me the job. Thank you,’ he said quietly. ‘Really, Allegra: thank you.’

  Perversely, his gratitude just made her feel worse. She hunched a shoulder. ‘I only did it so that you’d do the article.’ She sounded petulant, but that was how she felt.

  ‘I know.’

  ‘But you could have helped,’ she grumbled. ‘You were useless! I can’t believe the Laskovskis were taken in. A real fiancé would have looked at me, maybe smiled occasionally, taken every opportunity to get close to me, but not you! It was like you couldn’t bear to touch me.’

  ‘That’s not true,’ said Max tautly. ‘I kissed you.’

  As if she could have forgotten!

  ‘Only when I threw myself into your arms! Pretending to be a loving fiancée, thrilled for her future husband’s promotion,’ Allegra added quickly, just in case he had misinterpreted her instinctive reaction. She had been so pleased for him too, she remembered bitterly. ‘Although I don’t know why I bothered. You gave the impression you’d rather have been picking up slugs!’

  ‘What?’ Max sounded so staggered that Allegra wondered if she might have exaggerated a little, but she had gone too far to back down now. Besides, she had been bottling it up all evening and it was good to get it off her chest.