The Honeymoon Period (The Austin Series)

by Fallowfield, C. J.

  ‘Not you Mia … it should never have been you. I’d never have made it through the last few weeks without you and to be so nasty … God, what the hell have I done?’ he gasped for air as his body jerked again and I clutched him tightly.

  ‘Gabe, that old saying goes that you always hurt the ones you love. You needed to throw a few punches and you knew you could throw them my way because I could take it. Yes I was upset, but I’m still here Gabe, I’m still standing and we’re going to deal with this together, ok? Come on baby, get out and get dry for me,’ I planted a gentle kiss on the back of his shoulder and silently thanked Lexi for giving me the reminder I needed to not give up on him.

  ‘I can’t, I don’t want you to see me like this, especially not after how I just treated you. I don’t deserve you.’

  ‘Gabe, I’m not going anywhere, you need me right now. I want to be here for you, let me help you.’ I kissed his injured shoulder again and again and leaned my cheek on his back and felt him sob again, my name painfully tangled up in there somewhere. I let go of him and slid down the tiles to sit on the floor, my legs outstretched in my wet denim. ‘Come here, sit with me,’ I said softly as I looked up at his back and sensed his hesitation. ‘Come to me Gabe, just let me hold you, we’re going to be ok. I love you baby.’ I watched his shoulders slump and heard him take a deep breath. ‘I love you, Gabe.’ I watched his hands move to his face before he turned and looked at me sitting on the floor.

  ‘You’re fully clothed,’ he whispered and I tried not to let him see me react to his upset childlike face.

  ‘You needed me and you were in here, so I came to you, now it’s your turn to come to me.’ I reached up with my hand and he hesitated, then took it and lowered himself down next to me. I grabbed his legs, pulled them over mine and wrapped both arms around him as he buried his face in my neck and started to sob again. I stroked the back of his neck as I nosed into his hair and kissed his head as I felt his arms go tightly around my waist. We sat there with the hot water washing over us and it reminded me of the time we were in the bath and he’d sobbed over his mother. His swimming was a such big deal to him too, he’d been in complete denial the last few weeks thinking he could go back to normal and it must have been such a shock to him to have a swimming professional tell him what everyone had tried to tell him all along. I closed my eyes, my head on his and prepared myself for a long wait. It felt like longer, but was only a few minutes before I heard him whisper.

  ‘I don’t know what to do, Mia.’

  ‘What do you want to do?’ I kissed his hair again.

  ‘I love swimming, it’s a huge part of my life.’

  ‘I know it is. What happens if you get fitter and you start competing again further down the line?’

  ‘I could damage my shoulder even more and end up having to have more surgery.’

  ‘Would that mean you could still swim as well as you can now?’

  ‘No,’ he sighed as he trailed his fingers up and down my sodden thigh. ‘It would probably make me worse.’

  ‘Ok, so do you need to make a decision right now about whether to think about competing again?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Then don’t.’ I kissed his head again. ‘You’ve just started this therapy and the specialist is going to give you a worst case scenario so you don’t get your hopes up. For now you’re just going to take it day by day and see how your shoulder holds up and improves. When it’s as strong as it’s going to get, you and all the specialists can reassess the situation together and then you make a final decision.’

  ‘You make it sound so simple.’

  ‘I know it’s not Gabe, but it’s out of your control right now and the therapist can only surmise what he thinks may happen. You need to give it time and see how you’re doing in a couple of months. Take it day by day and eventually you’ll come to the right decision for you.’

  ‘But it’s my thing, Mia,’ he sighed.

  ‘It’s not your only thing, Gabe. You’re so much more than one thing, you can still be so much more. I didn’t fall in love with you just because you’re a great swimmer you know,’ I murmured against his forehead and kissed it. He sighed and sat upright and looked at me sadly.

  ‘I’m so sorry I reacted so badly earlier, I’ve just been upset and tense since this morning and I couldn’t wait for you to get home. I just wanted to have sex with you and switch off my feelings for a while. I guess I reverted and switched them off completely. I didn’t even think how hurtful that would be for you. I feel so awful, Mia.’

  ‘I know you do,’ I sighed. I palmed his cheek as I looked at his sad face, but it was my Gabe looking back at me this time, my hurt and upset Gabe. ‘I just wished you’d said something to me before it happened. I knew you weren’t you, you’ve never been that cold or cruel to me.’

  ‘I can’t believe I did that though, to get myself off and leave you hanging.’

  ‘Gabe I can deal with that, I get that you’re a guy and sometimes guys don’t want to be all romantic and chivalrous in bed, and to date you’ve been nothing but generous in looking after me sexually, too generous if anything. I’m just asking you to be honest with me if that’s what you need. Tell me if you need some mindless detached sex so I’m prepared for it next time. I’ll never say no, but to go from the way you normally treat me … like a princess, to suddenly making me feel like a cheap hooker you’d paid to off load in, with no warning at all, well it was really upsetting.’

  ‘Fuck, Mia,’ he sighed. He struggled out of my embrace and sat up and leaned back on the tiles with his hands over his face. ‘I just don’t know what’s wrong with me lately, I feel constantly on edge and irritable and you’ve put up with all of that, you’ve stuck by me through everything and now I go and treat you like shit in bed as well? You must hate me,’ he groaned as he looked at me.

  ‘Gabe I was angry and hurt, just like you. Everyone lashes out when they’re feeling vulnerable.’

  ‘But if I can’t even keep you satisfied in bed …’ he choked up and covered his eyes again.

  ‘Gabe it was once, one time and I was on the verge of coming when you pulled away, you’ve got no worries on that front. Our sex life is incredible and you’re so considerate. What are you so frightened of?’

  ‘That you’ll be tempted to try it with someone else. That would kill me Mia, if you went with someone else it’d be the end of us. I just couldn’t ...’ He shuddered violently and I pulled his hands away as I looked into his eyes.

  ‘You said it yourself before Gabe, when it’s as good as it’s always been with us why would either of us go anywhere else? I love you and I also love sex with you, this was one blip. I don’t even think about wanting to compare, why would I when it’s this sensationally mind blowing?’ He cracked a faint smile and I tilted his chin and kissed him softly. ‘Gabe, you’ve had a really rough few months. Stop putting all this pressure on yourself, you need time to heal physically and emotionally and I’m going to be here every step of the way. We agreed to talk to each other, remember? No lies or hiding the truth. You should have rung me the minute you had the news and needed to vent.’

  ‘I didn’t want to burden you. I’ve put you through so much lately.’

  ‘You’re my boyfriend Gabe, no you’re my … whatever you call someone you’re about to live with, there ought to be a word for it. I’m trying to say that we’ve moved past just girlfriend and boyfriend, we’re more. You’re more to me than that and I want to be more than that for you, so that means helping each other out and being there when the other needs us.’

  ‘Like sitting in the shower fully clothed because your “more than” boyfriend is having a girly moment.’

  ‘Yes, but no one could accuse you of being girly with that body or magnificent penis, Mr. Austin.’

  ‘You really think my penis is magnificent?’ He finally gave me a proper smile, looking all boyishly happy again.

  ‘Yes, and if I were to list the things I think you’re good at, you
r huge heart would be top of my list, cooking, sex and magnificent penis would be high up too and swimming would be way down the list.’

  ‘You’re such an amazing girlfriend,’ he sighed looking at me with love and wonder, which made me smile again.

  ‘Only amazing?’ I teased in mock horror clutching my chest. ‘I fucking rock.’

  ‘Yes, you do,’ he smiled. ‘Can I kiss you,’ he asked as he smoothed my wet hair out of my eyes. I nodded and he grabbed the back of my head and pulled me to him and kissed me, pouring all his feelings into it and I felt my body responding to him again. I pulled back and he looked at me surprised before he recognised the look on my face and swung his legs off me.

  ‘Are you sure you want to do this so soon after I ….’

  ‘Yes,’ I interrupted. ‘But if you don’t let me come this time, trust me, there will be hell to pay, Austin,’ I smiled and he finally cracked a laugh. I undid my jeans and lifted up my bottom as he dragged them down with my knickers and pulled them off my ankles. I quickly straddled his lap as I peeled off my wet vest and he reached behind me and undid my bra as I held his erection in place and slid down onto it, moaning with pleasure. He put both hands on my breasts and kneaded them as I palmed the tiles above his shoulder and held his gaze as I started to rise and fall on his lap.

  ‘God, you’re so deep. You feel so big this way,’ I gasped.

  ‘You feel amazing every time, Mia,’ he caught one of my nipples in his mouth and sucked hard and tried to lift his hips.

  ‘No don’t,’ I sighed. ‘Let me, let me do it to you. I want to make you come myself, I want to look after you tonight.’ His eyes looked up at mine, his mouth anchored on my breast, his eyes were filled with so much love that I groaned and closed my eyes as I used every muscle in my thighs and stomach to ride him hard and bring us both to a glorious climax together. I slumped on him shattered, wondering how he managed to make all the effort all the time and make it seem so easy. I wrapped my arms around his neck and felt his tighten around my waist.

  ‘Can you forgive me?’ he whispered.

  ‘I already have Gabe, but I don’t ever want you to do that to me again, it hurt.’

  ‘I’m going to ring Dr. Jarvis myself in the morning and get in to see him urgently. I need to sort myself out, Mia. You’re more important than anything else in my life and no way do I want to risk screwing this up. I love you too much to lose you now.’

  ‘I know you do and I love you that much too. Now get that magnificent penis out of me and go and cook me some dinner man slave. I’m starving.’

  ‘You’re sitting on me Mia, you need to get off him.’

  I sighed and kissed him and clambered up. He stood up next to me and helped me clean. I always blushed when he did it, which always made him smile and kiss me. I reached down and cleaned him gently and felt him swell in my palm again and looked at him astonished.

  ‘You’re naked,’ he shrugged and turned off the water. ‘I see you like that, he reacts. He loves you as much as I do.’

  ‘You’re spoiling me with these regular erections, Gabe. What when we’re older and they slow down?’

  ‘Not that I like to think about that ever happening, but you’ll slow down with me baby.’

  ‘I hate to tell you this but you’re wrong. You’ll hit your sexual peak at twenty-one, mine’s not until I’m forty.’

  ‘Forty? Jesus Christ, I can hardly keep up with you now. What will you be like then?’

  ‘That’s what Viagra was invented for,’ I replied laughing as I threw him a towel and started drying myself.

  ‘You’re my Viagra and if you think I’m going to be slowing down, forget it.’

  ‘Gabe, I know we’re laughing now, but are you really ok?’ I asked turning serious all of a sudden.

  ‘With you by my side, kicking my arse when I need it kicked, which seems to be a lot lately, I will be Mia. What about you?’

  ‘I’m good now I know what was wrong. Just promise to talk to me when you’re having concerns and to be completely honest with Dr. Jarvis about what you’re feeling and everything will sort itself out, Gabe. We’ve been through too much together to quit now, ok?’

  ‘Ok.’ he nodded with a smile that told me just how grateful he was.

  ‘You’d better go and give Lexi a big hug and a thank you, too. I was all for leaving you in here to stew I was that pissed off with you, but she reminded me how many times you pushed me to talk when I didn’t want to.’ I smiled at him as he walked over and put his arms around me.

  ‘I love you, so much, and I’m so sorry for treating you like I didn’t care, like I treated everyone before you. I promise you Mia, it’s so far from the truth.’

  ‘I know that Gabe. I feel honoured that you can be so different with me and this is the side of you that I fell in love with. Now go and do the other thing that I love you for and make me something delicious to eat, I’m starving.’ I pulled on my black shorts and a grey slouch t-shirt, while he got back in his jeans and threw his red t-shirt back on and went to cook the curry. I grabbed my wet clothes off the floor and noticed the laundry bin was overflowing and dragged a protesting Lexi out of the lounge to the utility to show her how to use the washing machine again and shut the door behind us and hugged her.

  ‘Everything ok?’ she whispered.

  ‘It will be, we’ll make it ok, Lex. He’s going to see the psychiatrist as soon as possible to get some help. I’m really beginning to think he has some severe depression that could be related to his accident, or suddenly facing up to his past. I don’t know, but I don’t think I can get him through that on my own, he needs professional help.’

  ‘Well Doug and I are here if you need us, ok? We want him back to normal too. This break will do you both the world of good.’

  ‘I know,’ I nodded. ‘And thanks again, you’re the best. Except when it comes to laundry, so watch what I’m doing.’ I showed her how to separate whites and darks and made her programme the machine for the white load and set it and as the machine started whirring she smiled proudly like she’d just conquered the meaning of the universe. I shook my head and started sifting out the dark towels and heard her head into the kitchen and listened as she started talking to Gabe and laughed.

  ‘Bloody hell Gabe, hugging, what’s got into you?’

  ‘I just wanted to thank you for being such a good friend to Mia and to me.’

  ‘Well most of the time you make her really happy, Gabe. I’m really sorry that you had bad news today, but I won’t keep forgiving you if you keep on hurting her like that.’

  ‘Trust me Lexi, I won’t forgive myself either. I’m going to get sorted so I can be the sort of boyfriend she deserves.’

  ‘Glad to hear it, but you know that Doug and I are here for you too if you need to offload on anyone, or just someone to hang out with when you’re on your own.’

  ‘I know that and it means a lot to have all of your support. Thanks, Lex.’

  ‘You’re welcome, now what the hell are you cooking because it smells amazing and I’m starving.’

  I smiled to myself as he talked her through what he’d done to make his curry and stood in the doorway watching them stand side by side chatting as if everything were normal again. God, I really hoped it would be.

  Doug arrived just in time and we all sat around the table to our Thai green chicken curry with jasmine rice and some bottles of beer. Gabe insisted I eat sitting on his lap while he used some chopsticks with his right hand that he’d purchased for us. The rest of us used forks, much to his horror.

  We all sat watching TV and chatting until ten when Lexi and Doug decided to head to bed and Lexi blushed as I grinned at her. She never went to bed before midnight, so I knew exactly what she was up to.

  ‘Night both. Don’t forget our appointment at three p.m. Lexi,’ I reminded.

  ‘What appointment?’

  ‘Beauticians.’

  ‘Shit I had forgotten, thanks for that. See you both in the morning. Cheer
s for a great dinner, Gabe.’

  ‘You’re welcome. Night.’

  ‘You sure you’re ok, dude?’ Doug asked as he patted Gabe’s back.

  ‘I will be. Thanks Doug, it was just a shock this morning and I reacted badly, but you’ve all been great.’

  ‘Here anytime you need me mate, ok?’

  ‘Thanks Doug, appreciate it.’

  We watched them go out and I felt Gabe kiss the back of my neck. I was sitting between his legs on the recliner with his arms around my waist. I loved having his firm body pressed against mine with no sexual overtures, I always felt so secure and loved and I needed it after our spat earlier.

  ‘What are you having done at the beauticians?’ he mumbled as he kissed below my ear making my scalp go all tingly.

  ‘Facial, finger and toe nails and a wax,’ I sighed enjoying his lips on my skin.

  ‘Brazilian again?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘You know you can’t have sex for twenty-four hours after a wax?’

  ‘Good job I booked it for tomorrow then and not Wednesday afternoon.’

  ‘Hmmm, yes. First day of a vacation and no sex, I wouldn’t have been amused. I’ll see if I can get in tomorrow afternoon as well and then we can keep our appointments on the same schedule and not miss too many days.’

  ‘Are you trying swimming again tomorrow?’ I asked stroking his fingers with mine. I felt him put his chin on my head.

  ‘If I can’t get in with Dr. Jarvis yes, I’ll go and do an hour. Like you said, I think I just need to focus on one day at a time. I want to pick you up afterwards though to go shopping and have lunch. What time do you need to be back?’

  ‘By two-thirty. What shopping? You already got a load of food in.’

  ‘We need to choose our kitchen and bathroom and think about tiles and appliances. The builders made a start today so we don’t want to slow them down by not having ordered the stuff.’

  ‘Really? They’ve started?’

  ‘Yes,’ he laughed. ‘Didn’t you notice the big skip, yellow tube and scaffolding outside, and the big plastic zipped door on the landing on your way past?’