The Honeymoon Period (The Austin Series)

by Fallowfield, C. J.

  ‘I don’t give a fuck if it’s normal or not. Are you telling me you’re unhappy at the level of sex we have?’

  ‘No, I want you all the time as well, but what if that dries up, Gabe? People often stick together because of that initial burst of sexual attraction and compatibility, which invariably wears off. If it does will you still love me?’ I asked as I looked at him nervously. He put his hand on the side of my face and looked directly into my eyes making my stomach pole vault.

  ‘Baby, I told you that my love for you is more than that. I won’t deny that I love having sex with you so often, but it’s not everything to me, you are. We’ve been weeks without sex recently and we’re still here, together.’

  ‘But we didn’t Gabe, you may not have fucked me, but we couldn’t even go a day without one of us getting the other off.’

  ‘You’re worrying over nothing baby. Part of our relationship is a very strong desire to please each other sexually, that’s not a problem unless we make it one. I couldn’t be happier with our sex life, with you. You want me to step back and not have sex so often? You want to take a break from it? I’ll do it if it’ll put your mind at rest. I love you, Mia,’ he stated as he looked at me full of honesty. I leaned into his hand and closed my eyes, I’d been feeling seriously off since our argument in the bar. Something told me that the bliss of the last three days wasn’t going to continue once we got home. That he was going to revert back to being over controlling, moody and short fused like he’d been since his accident, and that side of Gabe I found so difficult to handle. He stifled me when he was like that and it felt like I was suffocating and losing a part of myself just trying to keep him happy. I wanted so badly to make him happy, but when he was like that it was such a heavy burden and I worried that I wasn’t strong enough to shoulder it for him. That I’d fail him, or he’d end up hurting me, either way the result was the same.

  ‘I’m so scared,’ I whispered.

  ‘Of what?’ I felt his thumb stroking my cheek.

  ‘You’ve changed recently Gabe, when you get in a temper … well, sometimes it frightens me.’ I looked up at him as I bit my lip and he took a pained breath.

  ‘Christ Mia, that’s the last thing I want to do. I know I’ve been short tempered, but I figured it was the stress of my recovery and being cooped up. You really think I’d hurt you? I really scare you that much?’

  ‘I don’t think you’d deliberately hurt me Gabe, but when you fly off the handle it’s always with me and sometimes there’s no reasoning with you. And it’s not just that, we’re moving so fast and sometimes I panic that you’re so in lust with me that it blinds you to the fact that we argue so much and that it's me that makes you so angry, so I worry when the lust stops, so will your love.’

  ‘Mia look at me, look at me baby.’ I opened my eyes and bit my lip to stop the tears that I felt building up. ‘Is what you feel for me, just lust?’

  ‘No,’ I exclaimed my eyes wide.

  ‘Well you have to trust me that I feel the same. I know it’s love Mia, when you’re smiling and happy it makes me happy, I want to buy you all the things you want, take you to all the places you want to see. When you’re sad or hurt it’s like a knife in my stomach and I just want to bear your pain for you, I want to protect you from anything and everything that could cause you pain. My heart aches when I’m not with you. What I feel for you is so much more than lust. I’d do anything for you, anything to make you happy Mia, the last thing I want to do is make you frightened of me.’ I buried my face in his neck and clung to him tightly and let out a sob. This was my Gabe, this was the Gabe I loved. It wasn’t about the gifts or the expensive weekend breaks, it was him being honest with me and letting me feel how much he cared for and loved me. ‘I love you Mia, believe me, it’s so much more than lust for me. How can you doubt that? Am I doing something wrong?’

  ‘No, God no, Gabe. You do everything right to show me how much you love me, it’s me. Me and my stupid fears. I don’t know what’s wrong with me,’ I sniffed. His lips were on my neck and I could feel his heart and pulse racing, the music was pulsating through us both, my body shaking.

  ‘Baby you didn’t even want a relationship three months ago and we’re moving in together in a few weeks, maybe you’re having a panic about it. It can’t have helped with me upsetting you so often by being so up and down. Moving in together is a big deal, if it’s too soon for you we can wait, we can wait as long as you want until you feel that the time is right. Tell me what you need baby, because right now I’m terrified of you running from me.’

  ‘Right now I need you, I hear you telling me and that means so much, but I need you to show me as well Gabe. Show me how much you want me,’ I begged. The connection I felt to him when we were having sex was unparalleled. I could feel his love and adoration in every caress, every firm stroke into me, hear it in his cries, see it by the look in his eyes and taste it in his flesh and with each touch of our lips.

  ‘I do want you baby, so much, kiss me,’ he whispered hoarsely in my ear before kissing my neck and making me sag into him. I peppered kisses on every inch of skin from his neck to the corner of his mouth as I felt his hands roaming my bottom, touching, groping and igniting me. We locked in a passionate embrace sighing and I went light headed and had to pull away, the fire in his eyes looked as intense as mine felt.

  ‘I need you inside me, now,’ I groaned. He grabbed my hand and pulled me through the crowd to the exit and I fumbled in my purse to get my coat ticket out, he already had his jacket on as he helped pull mine around me and hurried me outside. There were no taxis waiting and I felt like I was going to explode if we didn’t connect soon. I looked around and saw an alley leading around the back of some buildings nearby, tugged his hand and starting walking toward it. My heart was racing at Formula One pace and I could feel my nipples stiffening at the cold and the thought of him penetrating me. We walked down the alley, rounded the corner and found a loading bay at the back of one of the buildings.

  I quickly checked that there were no cameras before I pushed him back against the wall and sank my tongue into his mouth. He undid my jacket and pulled my top away from one of my breasts and grabbed it as I reached down and rubbed his denim clad erection. His fingers tugged at my cold hard nipple as I fumbled with his button and fly, my other hand gripping his backside as he was doing to mine. He moved his head and started biting my neck and moaned as I slipped my hand into touch his pulsating, hot erection, he was going commando. I tested the tip which was wet and sticky for me, just as I was for him.

  I crouched and took him in my mouth hard and fast, sucking, swirling, biting as he moaned and looked down into my eyes. He pulled me up off him and spun me back into the wall and came at my mouth again as he started to stroke himself before shoving his wet thumb in my mouth and letting me suck it dry. My breathing hitched with anticipation as he kneed my legs apart and pulled the wet crotch area of my shorts aside, his finger ploughing through my tender swollen flesh and he groaned as he looked at me, so ready for him, so ready and desperate. He thrust upwards, but only entered me by a few inches and my muscles went crazy trying to suck him in. I thrashed on the wall and tore at his hair as his tongue ravaged my mouth until I screamed as he pushed up hard and fast and buried the rest of himself in me, the cold of his jeans button leaving an imprint in my stomach. I climaxed within the first few thrusts, crying his name as he pinched my nipple, rolling it between his fingers.

  ‘Feel it baby, feel how much I want you. I love you, Mia,’ he whispered as he circled his hips and started to move slowly in and out of me, all the while telling me how much he loved me. I started to cry as I came a second time and clung to his leather clad biceps as I leaned my cheek against his.

  ‘And I love you, Gabe,’ I sighed and heard him groan and felt him spurt inside me, the heat of it warming me from the inside out. He kissed me, pulled out abruptly and sank to his knees holding my shorts to the side and licked me clean, nipping and sucking on my clit. I
hooked a leg over his shoulder as I palmed the wall for support and yelled his name over and over as my climax approached. I heard a gasp and opened my eyes and saw Dylan standing holding hands with a blonde, both transfixed on me, one breast out, Gabe’s face between my legs. I gasped and then screamed as I was hit with a violent climax and heard Gabe groan into me as they watched, stunned. I was torn between my shame and desire to cover up my naked parts quickly, and my need to ride out my orgasm, but Dylan made the choice for me and quickly covered her eyes and dragged her back around the corner. I closed my eyes again and enjoyed the ends of my trembling and the thrill of someone having seen it. Gabe stood up and leaned over me, hands each side of my head and kissed me tenderly. He then moved and slid a finger into my sodden shorts and pulled them back into place before rearranging my top to cover me and pulling my coat around me, belting it tightly.

  ‘Better?’ he murmured as he rubbed his nose over mine.

  ‘Yes,’ I nodded. ‘But I want to do it again, in the warmth of our room.’

  ‘I’ll never understand you, Mia,’ he sighed with a frown and a shake of his head. ‘You tell me you’re scared it’s all about sex, then you beg me to fuck you, repeatedly.’

  ‘You’re right, so what if we have lots of sex, I don’t care when it’s this fantastic Gabe, I feel so connected to you when you’re inside me. It makes me feel safe and loved,’ I sighed as I looked up at him.

  ‘You are safe and loved when you’re with me Mia, I’d rather die than let you feel any different.’ He kissed me and scooped me up into his arms and carried me around the corner and back up the alley. We drew level with Dylan frantically kissing the blonde up against the wall and she giggled as she saw us over his shoulder and Dylan turned his head and locked eyes with mine.

  ‘It’s a miracle, I found the one, he’s just turned me,’ I called out giggling as we passed.

  ‘What was that about?’ Gabe asked as he strode across the road to the taxi rank.

  ‘He was sweet to me and tried to chat me up when I got to the bar, so I told him I was a lesbian. He just walked around the corner and saw me having an orgasm on your face, but I think they were both so turned on by seeing it, they’ll both be having one of their own soon too.’

  Gabe burst out laughing. ‘You said you were a lesbian?’

  ‘Yes, I couldn’t think of another way to let him down gently.’

  ‘I’m not interested followed up with walking away tends to give a guy the hint. How long had he been standing there while we were at it?’

  ‘No idea, I was enjoying what you were doing too much to care, but he definitely saw the business end of the transaction and that made me come even harder for you,’ I replied as I stroked his cheek with my index finger.

  ‘Him watching turned you on?’ he asked as he looked down at me. I gulped as I looked back up at him and tried to read his face, this could go so horribly wrong, but I couldn’t lie, it had been a bit of a thrill.

  ‘Yes,’ I whispered, hoping I’d said it so quietly he wouldn’t have heard. When he grunted, surprised, I knew he had heard and held my breath waiting for him to explode, but he just bowed his head and kissed me then carried on walking, so I relaxed and said nothing back, but I had a feeling that one little word would come back to bite me in the ass when I least expected it. Gabe didn’t put me down for the next five minutes while we waited for a taxi to arrive. Despite the drivers objections Gabe insisted on me staying seated on his lap, my head on his chest as he lay little kisses all over my hair. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the closeness, the lack of worries and cares, even if it was just for a little while.

  When we got back, he carried me through the hotel lobby and I smiled at the receptionist who stood with her mouth slightly ajar and went pink. Gabe on his own looked hot, but all officer and a gentleman in a sexy leather jacket, I knew exactly how she must be feeling to see him right now, she’d be dreaming of that tonight, imagining it was her in his arms. He headed straight for the bedroom and gently dropped me on the bed and stripped off and I pulled off my jacket wriggled out of my shorts and pulled off my shoes and top.

  He lay down on top of me kissing me as he slowly made love to me holding my hands above my head and begged me to look into his eyes as he made me come twice and emptied himself into me again. We rolled back and forth as we spent some time just touching each other and kissing gently. I eventually got up and had a quick shower and when I got back he was fast asleep on his stomach, facing my side of the bed. The curtains were still open and the lights of the city cast a soft amber glow to the room. I lay down on my side and tucked up my legs and just lay watching him gently breathing. I frowned as I watched him, now he was asleep I felt like I was drifting again, without him as my anchor. Here in our own little bubble it had been so easy to be happy, but suddenly I was drowning in worries about our return home. Were the moments of bliss amidst all the drama since we’d met really sustainable? I reached out my hand and lay it over his and he made a soft little moan and shifted slightly and I closed my eyes.

  I woke up feeling like there was a crushing weight on my chest and gasped for air, my hands were shaking and I felt clammy and nauseous. I bolted upright in the bed getting my bearings and looked over to see Gabe was still fast asleep. I needed air, cold air and quickly to dampen the rising, heated fear threatening to overcome me. I got up and grabbed my new jacket and belted it around me ran out of the lounge door onto the balcony. It was freezing outside, but I sucked the cold air into my lungs and tried to quell my panic. I rested my elbows on the balcony’s old stone wall, my head in my hands. I knew I’d just had a nightmare, a nightmare that he’d left me, but I couldn’t remember why. My hands were still shaking and I ignored the numbing cold on my bare extremities.

  Suddenly all the pent up emotions of the last few weeks hit me, I’d tried so desperately to compartmentalise it all as I didn’t have time to deal with everything then, I’d needed to be strong for Gabe and to help him recover. All those doors suddenly opened and my mind was filled with all the negative things I’d tried to avoid thinking about and I started to sob violently. I cried for Lexi’s miscarriage and the fact that I hadn’t been able to be there for my best friend, I cried for Gabe’s accident and the stress and worry of whether he’d be able to get back to the things he loved. More surprisingly to me was that I cried for the fact that I might not be able to have children. I’d never wanted them, but never wanting them was a personal decision, a decision I could have changed my mind on if I wanted to at some stage in the future, but now that choice had been taken away from me and I hated that. I couldn’t understand what I’d done to deserve that, to be punished so harshly and in turn to punish Gabe by not being able to give him what he so desperately wanted. I howled, not caring if I woke up half of the city, I wanted it all out of me. I knew he was behind me before he even said a word and I quickly turned around and ran to him as he came to me in his black sweat pants, bare chested, and pulled me into his arms, smoothing my hair. I was sobbing too hard to really even pay attention to how good he looked with his tousled bed hair and half naked body.

  ‘Baby you’re freezing. What are you doing out here? Why are you crying so badly?’ he asked softly. I just shook my head as clung to him as the tears poured out, refusing to stop. After all, there were six weeks’ worth of repressed tears to eject over some serious emotional stuff and it was going to take a while. I nestled my face into his chest breathing him in between sobs and he lifted my bottom up. I automatically wrapped my legs around him tightly as he carried me back inside and put me down in the bedroom. He took my coat off and pulled the duvet back. ‘Get into bed Mia, I’ll put the fire on and get you a drink.’

  ‘Ga …’ was all I could manage as I nodded and curled up into a ball, tears still coming and he tucked me in, closed the curtains, put the fire on and disappeared. I tugged his pillow to me and hugged it, the smell of him and his aftershave was so comforting. I felt him sit on the bed behind me.

  ‘Sit u
p a minute baby, I want you to drink this,’ he coaxed. I did as I was told, he’d put a Baileys into the glass for me, possibly two and I drained it immediately, it felt good warming me up from the inside as I used my arm to try and wipe away the streams running down my face. He got up and I heard him rummaging in the wardrobe and he returned with a box of tissues from the bathroom, my legwarmers and his long sleeve white t-shirt and instructed me to lift my arms as he pulled it over my head and pulled the duvet back and helped pull on my legwarmers. He stopped for a moment and wrapped his hands around my freezing feet. ‘Mia, you’re so cold. Lie down for me.’ I felt pressure on the bed as he pulled up the comforter and lay a blanket over the top and I heard him stripping off and he climbed in behind me, on my side of the bed and folded around me, his arms holding me tightly as he nuzzled the back of my neck. My sobbing slowed as I felt the heat of the alcohol and his body started to calm me.

  ‘Gabe …’ I wanted to say something more, but nothing came out.

  ‘It’s ok, you don’t have to talk now, not if it’s too hard for you. We can talk in the morning. Just sleep, I’m not going anywhere baby, I love you,’ he whispered as he planted a firm kiss on my neck. I choked back another sob and bent my head to kiss his forearm lying across my chest. I ran my nose up and down it, started laying kisses along it and felt my body stirring. He nosed my hair and kissed the back of my head.

  ‘I need you,’ I whispered. I wanted him to power into me, take me over and make my mind switch off.

  ‘Mia it’s not the time, go to sleep for me baby,’ he sighed. I wriggled around in his arms and he looked at me sadly. I reached down to touch him, surprised to find him soft.

  ‘You’ve no erection,’ I exclaimed as I wiped my tear stained cheeks.

  ‘No. I told you before, seeing you upset doesn’t turn me on, come on sleep.’

  ‘But I need you,’ I pleaded.

  ‘And I’m here for you, but not like that baby. You’re upset and you aren’t ready to talk to me about it, so sex isn’t going to fix anything.’