The Honeymoon Period (The Austin Series)

by Fallowfield, C. J.

  Lexi spat her beer on the table and screeched with laughter as I filled her in. I got her another pint and we carried on laughing as she polished that off as I sucked up the dredges of my second jug of cocktail. I looked up as a couple of guys came over and stood by the table and started chatting to us. I laughed at some of the cheesy chat up lines they were trying on us.

  ‘Do you mind if we join you?’ smiled the one. I was about to answer to say we’d rather be left alone and was stunned to hear Gabe’s annoyed voice.

  ‘I mind, she’s with me.’

  The guys turned around, blocking Gabe from my view, but I heard him tell them to get lost and I looked at Lexi who was as open mouthed as I was.

  ‘Not a word, I’ll deal with this when we get home.’ I warned her.

  ‘Out of order,’ she hissed and I nodded.

  ‘Mia.’

  ‘Gabe.’ I looked up at him and saw he had his scowl on again, he stood with his hands on his hips as he held my gaze.

  ‘You didn’t answer my texts. I had to come to check you were ok.’

  ‘I did answer.’ Damn him, why did he have to look so hot when I was mad with him and how had he known we were here?

  ‘Not the last three you didn’t, or my calls.’

  ‘Sorry, didn’t hear my phone over the music. Well then, as you’re here we may as well go.’ I stood up and saw the look of surprise on his face, it was only nine-thirty. He was obviously expecting a fight, well he was going to get one the minute Lexi was out of the way, he’d just ruined our evening together, again, and sympathetic as I was to the stress he was under, he’d stepped too far across the line. If I didn’t stop this now, I was making a rod for my own back.

  ‘Lex, you coming?’ I asked. ‘I’m not happy leaving you out alone.’

  ‘Sure’ she said, looking confused from me to Gabe then back to me. I smiled at her, grabbed my bag and stood up and looked up at Gabe questioningly.

  ‘Car’s right outside,’ he said, still looking at me puzzled. I gave him a smile and walked to the door and they followed me out. Lexi played along and made small talk with Gabe about our trip until he pulled into the car park. As he got out and walked around the front of the car I quickly turned to her.

  ‘Will you go straight up, I’m going to have it out with him here.’

  ‘Sure. You going to be ok?’

  ‘Who knows,’ I replied with a shrug, resigned to the inevitable argument we were about to have. So much for not fighting any more. Gabe helped us out and I pulled on his arm, holding him back, as Lexi walked off.

  ‘No car sex Mia, we agreed,’ he smiled as he faced me.

  ‘O don’t worry, no car sex,’ I agreed shaking my head. ‘In fact, after your little stunt tonight you’ll be lucky if you ever have sex with me again. You’ve been out of order before Gabe, but this takes the bloody biscuit,’ I hissed as I glared at him. He stepped back surprised at my tone.

  ‘Don’t you dare turn this around on me Mia, I sent you texts and called asking if you were ok and you didn’t reply,’ he said angrily. I watched his hands go back on his hips and his eyes narrow as his mouth set in a straight line. No way was I backing down, I was in the right this time. I stood up straighter, lifting my chin to show I wasn’t going to be intimidated by him.

  ‘I was out with my best friend Gabe, as agreed in advance with you. I don’t constantly check my phone when I’m out with you to see if Lexi’s feeling insecure after five minutes without me.’

  ‘You think I’m insecure?’ he said with a laugh that gave away just how pissed off he was at the comment.

  ‘You are insecure Gabe, I’ve only been out for just over three hours, during which time you’ve texted me seven times and rung me God knows how many more. Then you turn up in a bar, a bar that you shouldn’t have even known I was in, to ruin my night out.’

  ‘Don’t push me, Mia,’ he growled as his eyes flashed a warning at me.

  ‘Don’t push you. You don’t get to take the high road here, Gabe. I made it clear to you how important my friendship with Lexi was. I just spent four days alone with you, during which you apologised for screwing up my last couple of planned evenings with her and you promised to respect my time with her. The first chance I have to catch up with her, you break your word and come and mess it all up. You keep doing this and you’ll force my hand.’

  ‘Meaning?’ His voice had gone dangerously low and his body had completely tensed up. I saw his fists clenched at his sides, he’d just gone from mad to scarily furious and I took a quick step back from him.

  ‘If you back me into a corner Gabe, if you try and force me to choose between the two of you, I’ll pick her every time. I’m making this perfectly clear to you right now, so if that happens it’s on you, you’ll have brought this on yourself.’

  ‘Are you fucking kidding me?’ he spat.

  ‘No, I’m deadly serious so don’t push me, Gabe. Much as I love you, you’re competing with seven years of history with the one person in the world who knows me better than anyone and loves me unconditionally. You either accept that or … or …’ I faltered, not wanting to go there.

  ‘Or what, Mia? Come on finish that sentence.’ His eyes were a turbulent stormy blue as he glared at me, daring me to say it.

  ‘We’re through,’ I said in a firm voice, though inside I was shaking.

  ‘You’re giving me a fucking ultimatum?’ he snapped. I watched as his eyes turned cold and his jaw tightened, I could actually hear his teeth grinding.

  ‘You haven’t left me a choice, Gabe. You’re acting totally unreasonable. I’m really trying to be patient with you, but I'm at the end of my tether. You need to sort your shit out because you’re really starting to piss me off getting between Lexi and I.’

  ‘I don’t fucking believe you. We just had an amazing weekend and you tell me I’m pissing you off?’

  ‘We did have an amazing weekend, Gabe. You and me, just the two of us, most of the time we’re great, in fact we’re perfect and I couldn’t be happier, but I need more outside of that. I told you from the start that I needed my friendships and I don’t think I’m being unreasonable asking for a few hours alone each week with Lexi or other friends. You asked me to be honest with you, to share my feelings, well I’m doing that now and you’re still getting mad with me. I’m respecting your imposed decision not to have sex, even though I hate it, yet I keep telling you what I need and you keep ignoring me, you’re not respecting my wishes. My time with her is very important to me and interfering with that’s going to push me away. Please stop being so damn possessive,’ I sighed. He stood in front of me, his breathing deep and laboured as his eyes burned into me.

  ‘Ok let’s be totally honest then. Lay your cards on the table, Mia. You’re telling me if I don’t toe the line where Lexi’s concerned, we’re over, is that right?’

  ‘I’m asking for two partial nights and the odd day or night out with her, or any of my other friends and if that’s too much for you to handle then yes, walk away Gabe, because I can’t be with anyone under that tight a leash. I’m not going to keep having this argument with you, you back off and respect my privacy when I’m with her.’ I let him see the anger in my eyes and folded my arms across my chest to reinforce it.

  ‘Fine, ok then if ultimatums are on the cards, maybe I should lay down one of my own. A relationship should be fair, isn’t that what you said, Mia? So let’s make it fair, I’ll back off with you and Lexi on the condition that you stop seeing Milo in any shape or form.’

  ‘O. My. God.’ I stood speechless for a moment shaking my head in disbelief. ‘This is so not about Milo. I’m sick to death of your fucking issue with a guy that has never acted inappropriately with me. A fair comparison to me being pissed off right now would be if I was trying to stop you from seeing Doug. I don’t interfere in your friendship with him so you need to stop getting between Lexi and I. As for my friendship with Milo, I’m not asking you to stop being friends with Julie, or talking to other girl
s that may fancy you or that you’ve fucked. I won’t have you dictating to me on this, Gabe. You’re trying to be all dominant with me, I’m your girlfriend and an equal, I’m not your bloody submissive so I don’t have to agree to do everything you tell me to. God, I’m so sick of fighting all the time about bloody Milo.’

  ‘You’d prefer I don’t give a shit, Mia? Just look away and let you both flirt with each other?’ he snapped.

  ‘Flirt?! When have I ever … I … arrrggghhh, Gabe,’ I yelled, beyond frustrated. Other than my first meeting with Milo, when I was single, I’d never flirted with him. Gabe was seriously crossing the line of acceptable boy friendly behaviour now. I let out a heavy sigh and my shoulders slumped. ‘You know what Gabe, at this precise moment I actually don’t give a shit what you’re feeling. Tonight wasn’t about you, it was about me, about me and Lexi spending some quality time together and somehow you’ve made it all about you again, for the third time in a row. I’m just exhausted, I was having a fun, carefree night and you’ve turned it into this … this fucking nightmare again.’ I gesticulated with my hands in case my words just weren’t enough for him. ‘This is too hard Gabe, it shouldn’t be this damn hard.’ I was so annoyed and upset that I felt some tears roll down my cheek and wiped them away. When he stepped forward I took a step back and held up my hands. ‘Don’t, don’t you dare come and touch me. I can’t forgive this with a quick kiss and another apology, Gabe.’

  ‘I can’t believe you’re pulling away from me Mia, we need to deal with this.’

  ‘No. Just like I need to deal with my worries about our physical compatibility being our driving force, you need to deal with this problem you have, Gabe. This crowding of me and not trusting me is your issue. I’m not pulling away, you’re pushing me away.’

  ‘I’m pushing you away? You’ve just given me a fucking ultimatum, I toe the line or you leave me.’

  ‘I’m not saying I’m perfect Gabe, God knows I’ve caused plenty of arguments between us, but those issues have only ever affected us as a couple. I’ve only made friends with Milo and Cindy since I got here and you’re trying to stop me seeing both of them and now you’ve just dragged Lexi into this as well. That hurts me even more after you told me you finally understood how much she means to me. You’ve gone back on your promise to let me spend time with her and be more understanding. If you can break that promise, how am I ever supposed to trust you?’

  ‘Great, now you’re lecturing me on trust?' he spat. I had no idea where that barb was aimed and I really didn’t care, I was exhausted and this was too much.

  ‘I’m done with this, I’m not going to stand here arguing all night. I’ve got a full day of lectures tomorrow and I need some sleep. I think you’d better go.’

  ‘You expect me to just go in the middle of this?’ he snarled.

  ‘We’re getting nowhere fast Gabe, and I can’t share a bed with you now, not when I’m so angry. I need a time out.’ I sighed.

  ‘A time out? You’re unbelievable, you want a time out from me?’ he laughed. I lifted my head and glared at him. That was a low blow, making out like I was beneath him, not good enough for him and I should be thanking him for his attentions. As if I didn’t already have those concerns. I’d been angry with him up until this point, now I was bloody seething.

  ‘Sorry to disappointment, Gabe cocky Austin, Gods bloody gift to women,’ I hissed as my eyes flashed at him. ‘If you’d wanted easy, wanted a girl who obeyed your every command, who liked your ridiculously controlling behaviour and the invasion of personal privacy then you should’ve stuck with one of your hundreds of bloody groupies and continued to take out your issues on them every night with a rough angry fuck.’ My hands were visibly shaking as I raised my voice to him and I could feel my heart pounding wildly in my chest.

  ‘Maybe I should have. It would’ve been a damn sight easier than this. I could’ve just stuck to screwing girls that were grateful for it, without all the fucking drama of this bloody relationship,’ he hissed back. I gasped and took a step forward and slapped him as hard as I could, ignoring the stinging in my palm and the look of anger on his face as he rubbed his cheek.

  ‘I don’t believe you. “Girls that were grateful for it?” Then if being with me is such a bloody chore, I’ll make things really, really simple for you, Gabe. Screw you.’ I flipped him the finger and tried to side step him to leave, but he grabbed me and forced me up against the side of the car, his hands gripping my biceps tightly. I could feel his fury seeping out of every pore as he pinned me to it with his entire body weight.

  ‘You’re not walking away from me, Mia,’ he growled his face in mine. Normally I’d have found his male aggressiveness, twitching erection and proximity intoxicating, but I was so upset at his words and anger it felt like a stranger had just invaded my personal space and it made me really uncomfortable.

  ‘No, I’m not walking away Gabe, tonight I’m going to run as fast as I bloody can, because at the moment, you’re seriously fucked up. Go and take a few days to sort yourself out, please, because I can’t take much more of this, I don’t know how to help you anymore.’ I looked up into his eyes, but barely recognised the person looking back at me. He’d changed again and I tensed as his full body weight pressed against me and his grip got even tighter. ‘Let. Me. Go,’ I begged.

  ‘No,’ he said forcefully, expecting me to yield to him and his grip tightened.

  ‘Owwww, let go of me, please, you’re hurting me,’ I pleaded as tears of emotional and actual physical pain started to stream down my face.

  ‘I’m hurting you?’ he laughed. ‘You’re the one fucking walking away from me, Mia.’

  ‘Because I’m upset and scared, I need a time out, I’m not walking away forever because I still love you, even when you’re hateful like this. Gabe, seriously, you’re really hurting me. You promised not to hurt me Gabe, you said you’d do anything to make me happy and right now I’m not happy and you’re the reason.’

  His fingers were so tight around my arms they were definitely going to bruise, badly, it felt like the circulation to my lower arms had stopped, like when the blood pressure cuff at the doctors went too tight. I tried to stifle a sob, but couldn’t hold it in. I heard him inhale sharply, as if my words had shocked him. I looked up at him through my tears, his face had fallen and he looked at me confused, but he still showed no signs of releasing me. I could only think of two ways of getting out of his grip, stamp on his foot really hard and risk him reacting even worse with the pain, or use our sexual safe words that he’d always heeded, I sniffed and took a deep breath and tried to talk to him as calmly as I could.

  ‘Gabe it’s important that you hear me right now, I’m about to say something and I’m not saying this because I don’t love you, I’m saying this because you’re physically hurting me and right now I’m terrified of you. I quit. I quit.’ I heard him gasp as his head reared back and he looked at me, with a mixture of shock, horror and pain written all over his face, as if my words had finally sunk in, as if he’d just realised that I wasn’t being melodramatic in the heat of the argument. He immediately released his grip on me and backed away holding his hands up in surrender. I instinctively moved further away from him as I rubbed my arms trying to get some life back into them, I could still feel the impression of his fingers.

  ‘Fuck, I’m so sorry, Mia,’ he uttered, in disbelief.

  ‘I don’t want you to be sorry again, Gabe. I want you to stop this crazy behaviour. This isn’t who I fell in love with, this isn’t who I just spent an amazing romantic weekend with.’ I looked at him sadly and it hurt me even more to see how confused and upset he was looking.

  ‘You’re right,’ he sighed as he rubbed his hands over his eyes and slumped back on his car. ‘Fuck, you’re right and it’s all you, it’s all about you, I told you that you bring out the best and the worst in me Mia, and right now the worst is making me feel physically sick, I hate myself right now, so go. Go before I change my mind. I’ve just crosse
d a line that I never thought I would,’ he said sadly as dropped his hands and looked at my tear streaked face and my fingers caressing my throbbing biceps. ‘I promised I’d never hurt you Mia, and I never thought I ever could, but to see you standing there looking so scared of me …’ he faltered and shook his head.

  ‘Gabe?’ I looked at him confused and wiped my face.

  ‘Go. I’m giving you an out. I’m obviously not good for you, you never cried before me, now all you do is cry and it’s because of me. So go.’

  ‘Gabe, I don’t understand …’ I stalled as I wiped my eyes, what was he trying to say? That we were done?

  ‘I’m making it easy for you Mia, because for some damn reason that I can’t understand you won’t do it. We’re over,’ he said flatly as he looked at me.

  ‘No,’ I gasped. ‘I was angry, I just wanted a time out until you calmed down, not a permanent out, Gabe. Please, you’re not obviously not yourself, you don’t know what you’re doing.’

  ‘No,’ he laughed which ended with a slight sob and jerk of his shoulders as he pinched the top of his nose. ‘I obviously don’t know what I’m fucking doing, because I’d never knowingly hurt you Mia, you’re my … you’re my … entire word, but being back here in Westhampton, it has me feeling seriously fucking tense and angry, which is why I don’t want you anywhere near me, Mia. I can’t risk doing this again, or worse. Go, just walk away, please.’

  ‘You’re breaking up with me?’ I whispered, suddenly the pain in my arms didn’t seem all that bad, if anything suddenly there was no pain in my arms, it had enveloped my heart.

  ‘I don’t have a choice Mia, I’m terrified of hurting you any more than I already have baby. I don’t know what the fuck’s wrong with me, this isn’t me, I’m not like this, I’ve never been like this.’ He hung his head, not able to look me in the eyes.

  ‘Then let me help you,’ I begged.

  ‘No,’ he snapped as he looked back up at me and glared.

  ‘You promised you’d never leave me, Gabe. Was that … was that a lie?’ I whispered, hardly able to believe what was happening.