by Anna Lewis
Samantha screamed and leapt off the armchair she was perched on. “Jack!” she cried out and backed away as he began to walk towards her slowly. His hand was outstretched. They were Jack’s brown eyes, but this couldn’t be him. Her heart pounding, she backed into the door to their bedroom and ran inside shutting the door just as she heard him emit a low growl. Tears streamed down her face. What had she gotten herself into? What had her father been thinking? She sank to the floor and buried her face in her hands.
“Sam,” Jack said from behind the door. “It’s still me,” he said. His voice sounded even deeper, if that was possible. She felt, rather than heard, a growl from the other side and she scooted away from the door out of fear. Sam hugged herself tighter and clamped her lips together tightly.
A few minutes passed by, and the low growls she’d heard before she shut the door on him were long gone. “Sam?” Jack said in his usual voice. “I changed back. I’m sorry I frightened you. I just needed you to see for yourself.”
All she could see when she closed her eyes was him coming towards her. Did he cease to be himself when he changed, or did he retain all his thoughts and memories too? She had so many questions but she was too shaken to voice any of them.
“I’m sorry,” she said opening the door. “I’ve never seen that before. This is all very different for me. I don’t know what I was expecting.”
“It’s fine,” he said quickly. “It’s not something most people ruminate over anyway.”
The rest of their evening was relatively normal, but Sam made an excuse and turned in early. They had been moving closer and closer towards each other in the bed that she shared with him, and even last night he’d pulled her body flush against his own as they slept. Tonight, she wanted none of that. She wondered if she should consider sleeping in another room. Suppose he couldn’t control his shifting. She shuddered. Even the energy he put out while he was himself was so powerful that she found it difficult to do small tasks without getting distracted. But it was just a fraction of the power he gave out compared to when he was a bear.
Jack was nice enough to give her some much needed space after that and they only discussed the files as needed. She felt like he’d pulled away from her the night he shifted and she couldn’t tell why. She was the one who was frightened by it, and she had every right to be! She could hardly call what her father told her a warning. After all, she was overwhelmed with emotions the day before he died, she couldn’t have made sense of anything, let alone such a strange revelation.
A week passed by, and Sam realized that he was becoming more and more aloof with her. She felt a familiar sense of dread that she’d felt when Papa used to treat her as such when he bid her goodbye and sent her to boarding school after her mother had disappeared. It wasn’t an overt cruelty, but a loneliness settled into her that she couldn’t shake. And that feeling made her incredibly sad.
Papa had the best intentions when he asked her to marry Jack, and she saw that. He was capable, smart, kind, but he was exactly like Papa in this area. She just didn’t think she could deal with another man who would keep his emotions so tightly under wraps because he decided it was better than releasing them so they could heal together. Jack was not the right man for her, she thought tears still stinging her eyes. She might feel a strong attachment to him, but she had to cut it loose. She wouldn’t allow herself to go down that road again, because in her experience, the payoff would be delayed until it was almost too late to appreciate.
***
Jack jerked his car towards the left lane and honked at the driver that pulled out in front of him. He was irritated by the smallest things and it was only getting worse. Since the day he had shown Sam the other part of himself, he’d felt the sting of her rejection. It brought back all the unwelcome memories he had as a child. Just when he thought he was long past those feelings, they found a way to manifest themselves at the worst possible time.
He understood why Sam was scared that evening. She wasn’t prepared, or she was ill-prepared, he couldn’t tell which. He had just assumed she would accept the other part of him as easily as she’d accepted his human form. He hadn’t anticipated her reaction to be quite so...loud. He recalled the look of terror in her eyes when she screamed. He waited for her to adjust to him being a bear but she’d been too disgusted by him.
It took him a long time to get over the aversion to himself when he was younger, and after a while he embraced it. Brash though he was back then, he met Walter soon enough and it helped him rein in his urges, or at least gain control of them.
The worst part about all of this was how his attraction to her was growing even though they were barely making eye contact. They were polite and distant with each other. He could tell she was avoiding him, and he tried to give her space to allow her to adjust. But the more space he gave her, the further she pulled away. He wanted to fix what he’d done and thought about planning a quiet evening at home so she would feel relaxed and open about her fears. He couldn’t change himself, but he knew she would come to accept him eventually, she had to.
That evening, he made the one dish he knew how to make well, Cajun chicken pasta. He divided the pasta onto two plates, pulled the garlic bread from the oven, and pulled the wine bottle out of the refrigerator. The table was set, he just had to wait for her to come home.
As if on cue, he heard the key in the lock and he stood to receive her. The look on her face was priceless. He felt his chest swell at her reaction. Her face lit up and she almost dropped the tote she was holding. “It smells good in here,” she said looking at him in surprise. “Did you make this?”
“I’m a man of many talents,” he said grandly. “But this might be the only dish I make well at the moment.”
She smiled at him and his heart skipped a beat. She looked so beautiful. He itched to cross over to her and pull her into his arms, but he refrained. He didn’t want to scare her away again. He pulled out a chair for her to sit in and took a seat across from her.
She complimented the food multiple times and he wished he’d done it sooner. He’d spent far too long sulking about her reaction to him. When they were done eating, Sam insisted on cleaning up and began to clear the table.
“No, I’ll clean up later,” he insisted. “Let’s go sit in the living room and enjoy the wine.”
“It will only take a second,” she said. She carried the plates and bread basket to the kitchen, he followed her closely with the salad bowl. As he reached into a drawer next to her to cover the extra food, she turned abruptly and dropped the plates. The bottom plate shattered and the top plate bounced and got chipped on the side when it clipped the cupboard.
“Oh no!” Sam cried. She knelt down and began to pick up the pieces quickly.
“Stop, stop,” Jack said, alarmed. “You could get cut! Let me get the broom.”
He stepped into the pantry to retrieve the broom and dustpan. They soon had the floor cleaned up and the food was put away. Sam stopped to wash her hands and that’s when Jack noticed a small pool of blood collecting under her foot. It wasn’t just there, there were drops of bright red blood all over the tiles.
“Sam! You’re bleeding!”
Sam looked down and gasped. “I thought I just stubbed my toe, I didn’t even think…”
Jack thought quickly and scooped her up to take her to the bathroom in the master bedroom. He set her down between the two vanities and poked around the linen closet for the first aid kit. He examined her foot and found a large gash on her big toe, near the nail.
“Pretty deep, but you’ll be fine,” he murmured. He cleaned up her foot, taking care not to hurt her further. Her foot felt warm and squirmed under his attention. Once it was bandaged, he let go of it and cleaned up.
“Nothing was imbedded in there, right?” she asked him.
“No, why does it feel like there is?” He paused, ready to un-bandage it to take a closer look.
“No, well yes, but it feels like something huge is wedged in there.”
He
peeled it back carefully and shined a light into it. “No, nothing. But it might feel like that because of how wide it is.” He replaced the bandage and smoothed it over. His hand lingered and then rose up of its own accord and cupped her shapely calf.
He sensed her breath quicken and she leaned forward ever so slightly. It wasn’t a lot, but it was enough to give him a closer look down into her blouse. He saw the sweet swells of her breasts and itched to cup them. He looked up and saw her searching his face. Her lips parted and she leaned further towards him in invitation.
He didn’t need more encouragement than that. Their lips made contact for the first time and he felt a vibration inside from the growl that he fought to suppress. One battle at a time, he reminded himself. He planted his hands on either side of her. Although she was perched on the counter, he was still a head taller than her. He used it to his advantage, coaxing her mouth open with his probing tongue. She complied, wrapping her arms around his neck, scooting to the edge of the counter to wrap her legs around his waist as well.
He felt himself surge at her heat so close to his member. He picked her up again, keeping her tight against his body. He set her on the bed, trying with great difficulty ensure that he didn’t frighten her. She removed her blouse and tugged his shirt upward. When he felt her hands dip into his pants he couldn’t withhold the growl any longer. He clenched his fists to keep from ripping the rest of her clothes off.
“Hurry,” she whispered urgently. Her hand had encircled his throbbing member and she was stroking him into a frenzy.
“Wait,” he ground out. He stopped her hand movements and felt bad at her look of disappointment. “It feels good,” he assured her quickly. “Too good, I don’t want to finish before we start.”
She looked relieved and scooted back against the pillows. They both finished undressing down to their underwear. His mouth went dry looking at her creamy skin against his dark sheets. Her breasts were lifted up, the points begging for a taste.
He followed her down and settled between her thighs. His mouth claimed one nipple as his thumb and forefinger rolled the second one. She moaned and grabbed fistfuls of his hair, tugging and scratching his scalp. He had no idea so many nerve endings were up there that would lead directly to his groin.
He switched sides, giving the other breast the same treatment. Her legs wound around him again and her feet dipped into the waistband of his underwear, pushing them down. He drew back as he felt himself getting closer to losing his control. Jack gritted his teeth trying to maintain his control.
“Sam,” he said helplessly, dropping his head to her chest. Her hands slipped down to her side and she removed the last barrier between them. She gripped him and then began stroking up and down the sides of his chest.
“Jack,” she breathed. “I need you inside me.” Her legs tangled with his urgently.
That did it, he positioned himself at her core and looked into her glittering eyes before he plunged in. Sam let out a small cry and her back arched in response. He stopped and waited for her to adjust to him. When her hips began to undulate under him he pulled out to the tip before plunging in again and again. She met him thrust for thrust, her hands gripped his shoulders and her moans filled the room.
“Jack,” she said breathlessly.
He couldn’t speak. His chest felt like it was on fire from trying to contain the animal inside of him. He didn’t want to scare her, she wasn’t ready to experience all of him yet.
“I need more,” her head tossed from side to side, her hips continued to rise up off the bed to meet him. “I’m so close,” she cried. “Please, Jack.”
He felt himself reaching the edge too and knew he had to finish quickly before he began to transform. He gripped her hips and flipped her over to her stomach. She came up at an angle almost instinctively and turned her head to the side. He snaked one arm around her waist and held her hip on the other side steady as he pushed himself back into her slowly and then withdrew.
Sam moaned and her head rolled back into the hollow of his shoulder. Keeping one hand on her hip, he raised his arm to her breasts and let her feel the friction of the hair on his arm against her sensitive tips.
“Hang on,” he warned her, pushing her arm forward on the bed post. Then he thrust hard and fast, pushing into her soft sweetness and savoring the way her muscles gripped him at each push. He felt the pressure building quickly inside him. If the way she was pushing back into him and her inability to speak coherently was any indication, she was close too.
With one final thrust he heard her cry out and allowed himself to release. Her muscles spasmed around him as their breathing began to slow. He reached out to pull her arm back and slowly pull her back down to the bed.
“Are you okay?” Jack asked her, smoothing her hair back off her face.
Sam’s eyes were glazed over when she looked at him. “That was amazing,” she said. Her head lay on his arm and he knew exactly when sleep claimed her soon after. He slipped out of her and adjusted her on the bed to sleep more comfortably.
***
The next day began early for Jack. He was out of the house before Sam had woken up. He smiled, thinking about their night together. Before he fell asleep, he’d cleaned her with a warm washcloth and took a shower himself. When he got back into the bed, she’d curved her body into his innocently and he felt the pressure slowly building again before he willed himself to push it from his mind. She’d had enough for one night.
The following morning, Jack left her a note on the bedside table and dropped a kiss on her lips before leaving. He wanted nothing more than to watch her wake up, but with so many meetings scheduled, he didn’t have any choice but to leave.
It wasn’t until midday that he had time to catch up with phone calls and messages and realized she hadn’t called. She likely had a busy day as well, it was the end of the week, after all.
By the time Jack got home, it was well past eight, and he was exhausted but eager to see Sam. He walked in, surprised to see that she had already eaten dinner and was putting away the dishes.
He came to give her a kiss and she turned away slightly so his lips landed on her cheek. Odd.
“How was your day?” Jack asked cautiously. Something was definitely off. She was back to not meeting his gaze.
“Fine,” she said quickly. “I’m going to turn in early, it’s been a long day.”
“Sure,” he said. He wanted to ask her what was wrong but felt upset by her sudden change in behavior. She was so responsive to him last night, so what was the reason for her change today? He hadn’t even seen her all day.
That night turned out to be like so many others they’d had before they were intimate. Distant, quiet, polite.
Jack couldn’t stand it. He paced the living room while Sam lay in the bedroom. He needed answers. It wasn’t fair that she kept withdrawing. Before he knew it, he’d worked himself into a frenzy and was sweating. He changed into his alternate self and threw his head back in a roar. He wanted answers, dammit.
“Sam, we need to talk,” he said. He was who he was, he couldn’t change himself, she had to understand that. The sooner the better.
Jack saw her bolt up in the bed before swinging her legs over the side to come shut the door. He could have forced it open, but he chose not to. He left the house instead to clear his mind. He tried to tell himself that she had every right to be frightened. She wasn’t used to him. She was upset by something and he wasn’t helping matters by shifting and demanding that she accept all of him.
But it hurt. He felt the sting of rejection just as fresh as when he was rejected time and again as a child. He had to give her space to accept him. Until then, he would stay out of her way. He was lucky he had enough work that it would be possible to do just that.
***
Samantha had only intended to go for a walk. It turned into a jog and by the time she neared the house, she was sprinting at full speed. She stopped at the side of the curb and tried to catch her breath before wal
king up the driveway.
The frustration that had built up over the past several weeks was wearing on her. It was as if she was living the same day repeatedly. Jack was unfailingly polite towards her. All she wanted to do was rant and rail at him, but she forced herself to steer clear of that.
She had years of experience with her father withdrawing and using work as his escape. It seemed that Jack was more like her father than she’d originally thought. He wasn’t a bad guy, not at all. She knew that deep down she could trust him with her life. But the same could be said of her father. She’d always loved and trusted him, but she hungered for him to love her the way she needed him to. While he was able to give her that love in his later years, she always reflected on the memories that they could have made together. How different things might have been had her loneliness not shaped her formative years.
She didn’t want to travel that same path with Jack. She wanted something more with him. Something like the night he had planned when they were intimate. Sam fell in love with him then and there. The whole night he made her feel special and cared for. She wasn’t prepared to feel that bubble burst when he left her the next morning. No call, no note, no communication at all.
The week before Papa had sent her to boarding school, he took her out to a carnival. They’d spent the whole day together. She loved it and she didn’t feel the absence of her mother at all that day. He was kind, attentive, he listened to her, joked with her. It filled her with hope for the future. That night, she wrote him a note and put it on his briefcase. The following morning she didn’t see him. The nanny he’d hired got her ready and sent her off to school. In fact, she didn’t see him until the night before she had to leave for the boarding school. That was when he decided to spring the news on her. He made everything sound practical when it wasn’t. It wasn’t practical to send his only child to a school where she didn’t know a soul, after her mother left and now her father was abandoning her too.