A Wolff at Heart
Page 11
In forty-five minutes they were in his car headed back to Charlottesville. He was driving. Nikki sat beside him in silence. He got the impression she was afraid to talk to him in case he had a breakdown. Insulting, perhaps, but possibly on target.
After deciding to drive through a fast-food place, they ate burgers in the car. With the radio playing softly, the miles flew past. Nikki had shed her jacket and was playing with the bow on her silky blouse. She had kicked off her shoes as well.
He turned his head briefly, managing a smile. “You don’t have to be afraid of me. My Jekyll and Hyde performance is over.”
“I’d never be afraid of you, Pierce. You have a right to be upset.”
“Well, I’m fine now, so no worries.”
Her expression was dubious, but he would convince her. All he had to do was act as if everything was normal. And actually, nothing had really changed. His dad was still sick. That was the crux of the matter.
Nikki surprised him, though. She cut to the chase with a question he hadn’t expected. “So when are you going to contact the Wolffs?”
Controlling his inner rage, he kept his words even and without inflection. “I’m not.”
“But you have to, Pierce,” she said urgently. “They need to know what happened. They need to know that you’re alive.”
“Sorry to disappoint you, but no. In the first place, I don’t give a damn about the Wolffs, and in the second place, can you imagine their reaction if a ‘long-lost son’ showed up on their doorstep? Give me some credit. I’m not going to live my life like some soap opera where the dead come to life whenever the ratings need a boost.”
“They’re your family,” she said, sounding as if she might cry.
“No. They’re not. And perhaps you haven’t thought of one other very real possibility. What do you think they might do to a woman who kidnapped their child and gave it away? Send her to prison? Humiliate her in front of the world? Sue her and take everything she has?”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. Oh is right. Gertrude is not going to tell anyone what she knows. And I sure as hell am not. So unless you can’t keep a secret, this thing is dead, pardon the pun.”
“But what are you going to tell your mother?”
His gut churned. He’d been thinking about that ad nauseam, and he knew that to protect his mom he had to keep his mouth shut, even if the truth would be cathartic and healing for Pierce. “I’ll tell her the medical records showed nothing out of the ordinary and that Gertrude didn’t remember anything either. Why would I torture my mother when she has so much to handle as it is? That night long ago is over. Done with. I’m going on with my life.”
Twelve
Nikki ached for Pierce. She knew instinctively that he was making a dreadful mistake. Secrets were never a good thing. If he kept this knowledge to himself, he would suffer deeply.
No matter how much she wanted to advise him, she had no right to do so. This was not a legal matter. It was deeply personal, and he had made up his mind.
Shock was still guiding his actions. Surely she would be able to get through to him after a day or two. In the meantime, perhaps he could use some space. Men tended to lick their wounds in private. But on the other hand, she wasn’t sure he should be alone. At least not yet.
As they reached the suburbs of Charlottesville, she took a breath. What could she say? Thanks for taking me with you? I had a good time?
She cleared her throat. “Would you like to come up to my place and stay for a while? We can pop popcorn…watch old movies.”
Some of the tension left his body, because she saw his shoulders sag. “Actually,” he said, his voice hoarse, “I’d like that very much.”
In minutes he parked in front of her building and they took the elevator to her floor. Her condo was hot because she had turned the air off when she left. She kicked up the AC, handed Pierce the remote and excused herself to go change clothes. As she stepped naked into the shower, visions of last night played in her brain. Despite the trauma of the morning, she couldn’t forget the hours she and Pierce had spent together.
As the warm water pelted down on her shoulders, she felt some of her tension ease. Pierce needed time. And she, for once, was not on the clock, not counting every minute, worrying about the piles of work stacking up. Perhaps the best thing she could do was simply be there for him.
If he wanted sex, she would be happy. But if all he needed was companionship, that was okay, too.
She slipped on a comfy pair of yoga pants and a soft cotton top in lacy cream-colored voile. The blouse was lined with a second transparent layer, so she omitted a bra. Fastening thin gold hoops in her ears, she glanced in the mirror and smiled. She looked like a scruffy gypsy, but that was okay, because her lawyer persona was on trial for the next few weeks.
Now was the time for self-reflection…relaxation…and peace.
Pierce looked up when she entered the living room. He scanned her from head to toe with heat in his gaze. “You don’t much like shoes, do you?”
She shook her head. “No. At the orphanage we were required to wear shoes all the time, even in summer. But they were always hand-me-downs, so they never fit correctly. We always had blisters and calluses. When I received my first paycheck at my first real job, I went out and bought a pair of hot-pink high heels. I only wore them around the house, but those shoes made me feel like somebody. I could have been a princess in those shoes. Even so, I’d just as soon go barefooted whenever possible.”
“Come sit by me.” He patted the sofa cushion.
“Do you want something to drink?” she asked, nervous now that they were alone. He looked big and gorgeous and dangerous sprawled on her couch with his sock-clad feet propped on her coffee table.
“Quit playing hostess and get over here.” In his deliberately bossy command, he was teasing her. And a shadow of the playful Pierce reappeared.
Smiling, she did as he asked. His arm went around her as she curled up beside him. She leaned her head on his chest, feeling her heart break just a little bit. She knew at least some of the pain he was feeling. The sense of being adrift. But nothing she could say right now would make a difference. So she might as well carpe diem and enjoy her time with him.
Pierce, after that first greeting, appeared totally engrossed in the movie. It was an early Stallone film. Closing her eyes at one of the gorier parts, she let herself float on a cloud of pleasure. Even this simple contact was precious. Having Pierce in her home made her realize that she was going to have to work harder at creating a life for herself away from work. She didn’t want to end up old and alone. And she wanted children….
Once she made this job decision, she would lay out some rules for the other parts of her life. Make more time for friends. Take more risks in dating. Put her past behind her and be defined by who she was now, not then.
It all sounded good. But she knew herself pretty well. If she took the position in D.C., she’d likely get sucked into a high-powered world of sixty-hour workweeks. Was that what she really wanted? It was darned flattering to be asked. But in the end, would it be a terrible mistake?
She shifted once, and Pierce must have thought she was getting ready to stand up, because his arm clamped around her. “Stay here.” He had been playing with her hair, and the simple caress had aroused her.
Embarrassment heated her cheeks. Pierce had been through hell today. She was sure he didn’t even remember their wild sex play the night before. Men lived in the moment when it came to carnal pursuits. She might be reliving every single second, but he was absorbed with the on-screen action.
The credits rolled and Pierce stretched, glancing at his watch. Suddenly, his face changed.
“What?” she asked. “What is it?”
“I’m supposed to be somewhere tonight…and it’s important.”
> “Oh.” Disappointment flooded her. Here she was hoping he might want to spend the night, and he was concerned about his social calendar. “Are you sure you’re up for that?”
“Doesn’t matter. I’ve agreed to present an award. It’s a black-tie gala to benefit the Appalachian Trail Conservancy. Both of Virginia’s senators and the governor are going to do a drive-by five-minute speech. And I’m on the board, so I have to be there.” He stopped, cocked his head and grinned. A ghost of his usual grin, but a grin nevertheless. “You could come with me,” he said.
“I wouldn’t know what to wear.”
“You can’t tell me that somewhere in your closet you don’t have one fancy dress.”
He had her there. She’d been shopping with a friend in Atlanta after a law symposium back in the spring, and purely on impulse, had bought a dress at Neiman Marcus on the clearance rack for a fraction of the original price. It was black and made of a heavy jersey fabric covered in spangles and beads that felt deliciously comfortable and yet sexy when she walked.
“I suppose I might. But you don’t have a ticket for me.”
Pierce took her foot in his hand and began to massage it. Goose bumps broke out all over her body. He used his thumb on her arch. “Not to worry. I wrote them a check for ten thousand dollars this year. I think they’ll make room. But if it will make you feel better, I’ll send the director’s admin a text.”
Now his hands were on her ankle. The massage felt wonderful, but she squirmed, her body flooding with heat. “I think I’ll go make a pot of coffee,” she said, needing to calm down.
Pierce abandoned her leg and took her face in both of his hands. “Kiss me, Nikki.” His eyes were clear, nothing but hunger in them. As if by sheer strength of will he had put all else aside to concentrate on her.
She put everything she had into the kiss, everything he wouldn’t let her say. Her sympathy, her heartbreak for him, the echoes of her own sad childhood. For long moments, that was enough. His tenderness wrapped around her heart and warmed her, making her believe that nothing else in his universe was as important as this kiss.
Finally, when her lips felt puffy and her neck ached from the angle, he released her…sat back…and grimaced. “I’m having a hard time telling you what I want. But at the risk of sounding crass, I want you, Nikki. More than you can imagine. More than is sane. I need to lose myself in you.”
She sank her teeth into her bottom lip, telling herself she wouldn’t cry. If nothing else, she could offer him physical release. Pleasure upon pleasure to help him forget. Boldly, she placed a hand on his leg. “I think that can be arranged. But my bed’s pretty small, not even close to a king size.”
He slid a hand under her hair and kissed her neck just below her ear. “Doesn’t really matter. I don’t plan to let you get that far away.”
* * *
Pierce let her lead him down the hallway, feeling the twin pulls of shame and desire. He didn’t want her to think he was using her, but he was…in a way. During the two-hour movie, he had been incredibly aware of her sitting against him. He’d inhaled her light flowery scent, had noted the way she breathed and had listened to the engaging sound of her laughter when she made fun of some stupid line of macho dialogue.
Her simple presence had helped him calm down. Nothing had changed. His life was still a shambles. But with Nikki, he found that he could put all that aside for a moment and simply be.
Her bedroom was revealing. Nothing of the buttoned-up lawyer at all. To say her furnishings were eclectic was an understatement. It looked as if she had raided the yard sale of a mad wizard and his fairy sprites. Everything was beaded and colorful, from a lopsided ottoman in turquoise and orange to lampshades fringed in multicolored beads.
The comforter was red silk, embroidered with vibrantly colored hummingbirds. And the walls were painted a pale celery green that somehow managed to draw everything together into harmony.
Nikki leaned against the wall, a half smile on her face. “Not what you were expecting, is it?”
He shrugged, still looking around. On the dresser sat a blown-glass mushroom. The central light fixture was a small antique chandelier. Beneath his feet lay an incredibly old Oriental rug, the colors faded with time and the occasional bare spot noticeable. But it was the real deal, not a fake.
Shoving his hands in his pockets, he grinned. “I like it, but yes, you’ve managed to surprise me. I feel like I should be smoking pot and weaving daisy chains.”
“Bite your tongue, Pierce Avery. I uphold the law, so don’t get any ideas.”
He watched as she carefully folded back the covers. When she paused to look over her shoulder, she caught him staring at her curvy ass.
“If you’re going to bend over like that, don’t blame me,” he said.
With what appeared to be deliberate movements, she stripped off her Lycra pants, now wearing only a sheer blouse and tiny panties. In the midst of this crazy room, she looked right at home. She held out her hand. “Let me give you the tour,” she whispered. The husky note in her voice gave him hope that she was at least a fraction as wound up as he was. Last night had been beyond words. And now, new madness beckoned.
He watched, dry mouthed, as Nikki sat down on the side of the bed and waited for him to join her. His feet were glued to the floor, because he was inches away from taking her without ceremony. His fists clenched, he tried to steady his breathing. “Why all the color?” he asked, hoping to distract himself.
A shadow crossed her face, but she answered him. “At the home, there was no color. Institutional beige on the walls. Well-scarred wooden floors. Thin brown bedspreads. Even the curtains on the windows were an odd bisque color. One year at Christmas a local church gave every child in the orphanage a box of a hundred and twenty-eight Crayola crayons. I cried when I opened it, because I found all the colors that had been taken away. Later, when I was out on my own, I understood about trying to fit in and being conventional, but I decided that my bedroom was my private space, and if I wanted to run amok with palettes, it was my choice.”
Again, she had done it to him. Made his throat burn with helpless emotion for the little girl who had no one. And she wasn’t angling for sympathy. He had asked a question, and she had answered.
Tenderness sneaked in, tempering the driving need he felt. “Thank you for inviting me in,” he said. “I hope I can live up to your color scheme. It’s full of life and energy and passion. I like it.”
He could see in her eyes that she was pleased by his response. And it made him wonder if another man had ever tried to squelch her unconventional streak of whimsy.
Without ceremony, he stripped out of his clothes. Nikki’s cheeks flushed, but she didn’t look away. When he was nude, a thought struck him. “I only have one condom left.”
“I think that’s all you have time for, Mr. Hotshot. If I’m going to the ball tonight, Cinderella needs a little time to get ready.”
“Fair point.”
He stood in front of her, smoothing her hair, playing with her ears. Gently, he lifted the hem of her blouse and pulled it over her head. He’d known she wasn’t wearing a bra. Guys noticed. But seeing her like this made his heart stop. Last night he’d thought he had studied every inch of her. Something about this feminine room framed her in a new way. He saw her playful side and was enchanted.
He wasn’t prepared when she took his shaft between her hands and warmed it. His knees locked. “Careful, Nikki. I might be a tad too primed.”
“From watching a Stallone movie?” She tasted the head of his erection, swirling her tongue around it until he was dizzy.
“No, damn it. From holding you for two hours. A guy can only take so much foreplay. You’re lucky I didn’t do you on the coffee table.”
Her pleased giggle made him smile, even though every nerve in his body was raw and fiery.
Half crippled with desire, he pulled her into his arms and spooned her, telling himself he could hold out a bit longer.
Nikki sighed, a long, dreamy exhalation. “A man who cuddles…do I have to pay extra for this?”
He bit the back of her neck in response to her sass. “I’ll have you know I’m exhibiting phenomenal restraint.”
“I can tell.”
His erection was pressed up against her butt. And when she deliberately wiggled her firm, soft fanny, he groaned. “You’re a tease,” he said gruffly.
“Should I stop?” She covered his hand with hers where it gripped her breast.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“For what?”
Somehow this confession was easier since she couldn’t see his face. “I’m sorry you had to be there today.”
He felt her go still. “It’s okay.”
“I was afraid it might have made you think of things you’ve gotten past. Like who was there when you were born.”
She lifted his hand to her lips and kissed it. “I’ll never get past it, Pierce. Not really. But I’ve adjusted to a new reality.”
And you’ll have to, as well. She didn’t say the words out loud, but he heard them anyway. His brain rejected the thought. And chastised him for bringing up the taboo topic in the middle of Nikki’s bed.
He let go of her and reached for the condom, donning it with shaky hands. “Do you trust me?” he asked.
She lay on her back, watching him, still wearing those sexy undies. “I do.”
“Then take my hand.”
Puzzlement crossed her face, but she did as he asked. Steadying her as they both got up and stood beside the bed, he caressed her breasts…one, and then the other. Nikki gasped, her nipples beading and her fair skin flushing as it did when she was excited. “If you’re planning on picking me up, I’m not all that light.”