Davina Dupree Catches a Crook

by SK Sheridan

  Arabella looked sulky, like she was about to say something rude, so I quickly said,

  ‘Yes Detective, we just came in to get my sketchbook and noticed the bottle because we thought it looked pretty. Never mind, no harm done, we’ll be off now.’ Arabella growled under her breath as I dragged her out of the study. No point in annoying Detective Clifford or he might get in the way and stop our secret detective work.

  So there we are. We now have more questions than answers and will be having a meeting with Diya and Angel this evening to see how they are, discuss our findings, and try and work out our next course of action!

  Wednesday, 10th March

  Some good and bad news, Diary...

  The good news is that we’ve heard Mrs Fairchild’s condition has improved and it looks like she’ll make a full recovery, although she’ll have to rest in hospital for a few more days. Mrs Pumpernickle, our housemistress, bustled around at breakfast time giving everyone the good news. The bad news is that Detective Clifford has arrested poor Mr Portly for not telling him about the wine he gave Mrs Fairchild and is keeping him down at the police station for questioning (although the good bit of this is that Diya and Angel are now no longer the prime suspects), so now Mrs Pumpernickle is acting headmistress, which is making her very cross and flustered.

  We had Geography again today and I have to say that Dr Aardvark is looking more tired than usual. Maybe his animals are keeping him up at night or something? He wasn’t even that rude when we were asking him questions about his collection of stag beetles, which was a nice surprise.

  Cleo and Clarice watched out of the window during Geography when Mr Portly was being led away in hysterics. I couldn’t help overhearing the rather mean things they were saying about him.

  ‘I knew it was him all the time,’ Cleo whispered loudly. ‘I knew he poisoned Mrs Fairchild right from day one. He’s got a long nose and you can’t trust people with long noses, Mummy always says.’

  ‘Your nose is extremely long, Cleo,’ Arabella said loudly. ‘Does that mean we can’t trust you?’

  ‘It is NOT!’ Cleo screamed, turning round. ‘My nose is NOT long, is it Clarice?’

  ‘No, it’s a very pretty nose, much nicer than old stubby, freckly nose over there,’ Clarice glared at Arabella. She snapped open her faithful pocket mirror and she and Cleo spent a happy five minutes studying their noses and complimenting each other’s. Dr Aardvark didn’t even notice!

  Diya, Angel, Arabella and I held an emergency meeting last night and decided we needed to snoop round the school to look for more clues when the police wouldn’t be hanging around and getting in our way. None of us believe Mr Portly is the poisoner, he’s too much of a softie. He likes soft lighting and even keeps a teddy bear on his bed for goodness sake, Arabella and I saw it once when we had to knock on his bedroom door when one of the girls wasn’t feeling well in the night. So we’ve decided that tonight is snooping, detecting night, Diary. The police always clock off at six each evening and don’t return until nine the following morning carrying their sausage and egg muffins, so we should be safe. I’ll report back tomorrow Diary, #bit nervous, #hope we don’t get caught...

  Thursday, 11th March

  Gob-smackingly unbelievable nightly antics, Diary!

  Listen, you are SO never going to believe this...Last night, as planned, me, Arabella, Angel and Diya all set our alarms for midnight. This was a good plan as it meant we got a few hours sleep before our adventure. Arabella and I had dressed in black before going to bed, as planned, so that it would be easier to blend into shadowy areas of the school if we heard anyone coming. We then knocked for Diya and Angel, who were also wearing black and rubbing their eyes, then set off down the softly lit, squishily carpeted corridors towards the main part of the school. We didn’t know exactly what we were looking for, we just knew we had to find SOMETHING that pointed to who REALLY poisoned Mrs Fairchild.

  As we rounded the corner into the main entrance hall, where two spiral staircases cascade down either side of an ornate indoor balcony, I put my finger to my lips.

  ‘Shh,’ I said. ‘Listen. What’s that noise?’

  We all stood still, holding our breath.

  ‘Cluck cluck CLUUCKK!’ Came the noise again.

  ‘A chicken?’ Arabella turned to me, eyes the size of golf balls. ‘Did you hear that too or am I going mad?’

  ‘We all heard it,’ Diya whispered, frowning. ‘There’s something strange going on here. Let’s investigate.’ So we tiptoed forwards, not sure what to expect.

  ‘Well I can’t see a chick-‘ Arabella stopped as an unusual looking chicken launched itself at her feet from behind a pillar, settling down on her furry slipper with a few contented ‘clucks’.

  ‘That chicken looks familiar,’ Angel said quite loudly. She finds it difficult to whisper. ‘I know! It’s the one Dr Aardvark brought out on stage the other day, when he was doing his animal show. Do you remember?’

  ‘Yes!’ I whispered back. ‘You’re right. What did he say her name was?’

  ‘Mrs Peck,’ Diya said, and Mrs Peck clucked contentedly at the mention of her name.

  ‘But the question is,’ Arabella said, bending down to stroke Mrs Peck’s feathers. ‘Why on earth is she roaming round the school in the middle of the night? Mrs Pumpernickle said that Mrs Fairchild gave Dr Aardvark and his animals a suite of specially equipped rooms to live in next to his study, surely she should be there?’

  ‘Maybe she escaped,’ I said. ‘Hang on, if she got out, does that mean some of Dr Aardvark’s other, slightly more...er...scary animals might have escaped too?’

  CRASH!

  ‘AGGHHH!’ Angel screamed. ‘What on EARTH was that?’

  ‘Huuu! Aaaa!’ Someone said in my ear, then hairy arms wrapped themselves tightly round my neck.

  ‘Help!’ I shrieked, wondering why no one else was looking alarmed. ‘I’m being attacked.’

  ‘Don’t worry,’ Arabella grinned. ‘It’s only Monty, Dr Aardvark’s chimpanzee. He just jumped off the balcony and landed behind you. I think he likes you, Davina.’

  ‘Hello Monty,’ Diya said, coming over, her eyes full of curiosity. ‘Gosh, isn’t he lovely? I think he’s quite young. Look, he’s trying to groom Davina’s hair.’

  ‘Um,’ I said, trying to act as though I’d always wanted a chimpanzee to groom my hair even though it was starting to hurt. ‘Maybe we could move on now?’

  So we did. Monty really seemed to have taken a shine to me for some reason and insisted on walking on all fours right next to me. Mrs Peck seemed rather attached to Arabella as she refused to get off her slipper, so Arabella decided the best thing to do was to walk very slowly, with Mrs Peck happily clucking away.

  At one point, after we’d walked right through the entrance hall and were heading down a corridor towards the classrooms, several large, exotic looking spiders zoomed past us, which made me jump but Angel hung back to study them.

  ‘What’s that?’ Diya said, pointing to a mound of fur on a nearby bookshelf. By the light of the flickering wall lantern I could see that the fur was a soft, grey colour. Suddenly, it snored.

  ‘I think its Sleepy the Koala Bear,’ I said, going over to stroke her fur. ‘She’s such a sweetie.’

  ‘Wrraa!’ Monty said, looking seriously annoyed.

  Sorry Monty,’ I turned and stroked his arm. ‘Obviously not as sweet as you.’

  BANG!

  ‘What was that noise?’ Angel whispered really loudly, catching up with us, a giant, scary looking spider on the back of her hand.

  ‘I think it was a door closing,’ Diya whispered. ‘I can hear someone coming. Quick, let’s hide.’

  So like true detectives we melted away into the dark shadows of the corridor, me and Monty ended up behind a large stone pillar. I held his hand, hoping he wouldn’t make a sound.

  I stopped being able to breathe as footsteps approached, then stared in amazement as Dr Aardvark, wearing striped pyjamas and looking VERY s
tressed, came into view. He had a whistle on a piece of string round his neck, which he proceeded to blow softly.

  ‘Dratted animals,’ he said, letting go of the whistle and tearing at his hair. ‘Where can they have got to this time? Monty! Sleepy! Mrs Peck! Come out this instant.’ I stared at Monty in alarm in case he was about to blow our cover, but he happily ignored his owner, content to groom my now even more tangled hair. ‘I know you must be somewhere...’ Dr Aardvark continued, then off he went down the corridor, looking from left to right, blowing his whistle softly, tearing at his hair with his free hand.

  Everything was quiet for a few more minutes. No one wanted to move, just in case he came back.

  ‘Ouch,’ Angel said loudly. ‘I’m sorry but I can’t stay squashed up like this any longer, my knees are killing me.’ Monty and I came out from behind our pillar in time to see her crawl out of a low cupboard. Everyone else gradually reappeared.

  ‘Well one thing’s for sure,’ Arabella said, dryly. ‘The great adventurer, Dr Aardvark, certainly doesn’t seem to have much control over his flock of animals, which seems somewhat strange, don’t you think? I would have thought someone who’d lived with chimpanzees for a year would be experienced enough to stop them escaping in the night, but did you hear he said, “where can they have got to THIS time”, as though they’d all escaped before.’

  ‘Yes,’ I said, holding Monty’s hand. ‘He did seem rather stressed and out of sorts.’

  ‘Listen,’ Diya held her finger up to her lips. We listened and heard a shaking sound accompanied by returning footsteps.

  ‘Food time,’ Dr Aardvark’s voice came echoing down the corridor. ‘Come on out, you dratted animals and have some FOOD!’

  Me, Arabella, Diya and Angel quickly sank back into our hiding places, but at the mention of food the animals were off. Even Sleepy sat up and slid off the bookshelf, making her way slowly towards the shaking sound. Within seconds Dr Aardvark was marching back past, and I risked a quick look from behind the pillar and was SHOCKED to see that he wasn’t shaking animal feed, he was shaking a box of Choc Pops, CHOCOLATE CEREAL FOR CHILDREN! Surely he didn’t feed his collection of wild animals chocolate cereal? But Monty, Sleepy, Mrs Peck, a small tiger cub who thankfully must have been hiding somewhere else, several snakes and a few spiders were padding and slithering behind the now triumphant looking Dr Aardvark, looking very excited about the Choc Pops.

  Anyway, Diary, to cut a long story short we all decided to head straight back to our dorms once the tribe of animals was safely out of sight, feeling we’d had more than enough adventures for one night.

  I have to go now, Diary, as I’m still rather tired.com after yesterday, in fact I can’t keep my eyes open any longer....Zzzzzzz...............

  Friday, 12th March

  A disappearance, Diary!

  You’ll never guess what’s happened this morning. Arabella, Diya, Angel and I arrived a bit late for our geography lesson as Angel had lost her geography folder and we searched high and low for it before Diya found it stuffed behind a chest of drawers. We were expecting some sharp words from Dr Aardvark for being late but we were surprised to see that he wasn’t there. All the other first years were lounging around on desks, chatting to each other - typically Cleo and Clarice were in the centre of the classroom reapplying their make-up, talking loudly.

  ‘Where’s Dr Aardvark?’ I asked Melody, settling myself down next to her on the edge of her desk. ‘Has he gone out to get some weird and wonderful animal to show us?’

  ‘He hasn’t turned up yet,’ Melody said, swinging her long legs. ‘We thought he might be ill or something, but no other teacher’s arrived to cover the class yet.’

  ‘Hmm,’ Arabella said, scratching her nose. ‘I suppose he has been looking rather tired all week. Oh I wish Mr Fossil would come back.’

  ‘Why do you want THAT rat-faced little pip-squeak to come back?’ Clarice yelled from behind her mirror. ‘Dr Aardvark’s much more glamorous and he’s so well travelled. But then you and Davina wouldn’t know what glamour was even if it hit you in the face, would you Freckles?’

  ‘Why you horrible little-‘ Arabella began, rising to the bait as usual, getting up to go over to the swishy haired pair, no doubt to give them a piece of her mind.

  ‘Don’t rise to their rudeness,’ I whispered, dragging her back. ‘They’re a pair of idiots. Don’t give them the satisfaction of seeing that they’ve upset you.’

  The twins, Moira and Lynne, stood up.

  ‘We’re going to find Mrs Pumpernickle and tell her Dr Aardvark’s not here yet,’ Moira said, heading for the door. ‘He’s obviously not coming and we don’t feel like sitting here for an hour listening to Cleo and Clarice be rude to people.’

  ‘SWOTS!’ Clarice yelled to their disappearing backs.

  Within minutes the twins were back, followed by a very flustered looking Mrs Pumpernickle.

  ‘Honestly,’ she clucked as she bustled in, her hair coming out of its bun in wisps. ‘I don’t know what’s happened to this school lately, every day something seems to go wrong. Right, where’s Dr Aardvark?’

  ‘He hasn’t turned up yet,’ I explained. ‘Is he ill?’

  ‘Goodness I hope not,’ Mrs Pumpernickle fussed round the classroom, straightening chairs and indicating to everyone to sit down and face the front. ‘He certainly hasn’t told me if he is, which is a bit naughty, as every teacher knows they need to tell me as soon as possible if they can’t teach a class, so I can find a cover teacher in time.’

  Arabella leaned towards me. ‘Do you think we should tell her about DR Aardvark and his animals running round the school the other night?’ She whispered in my ear. I thought, then nodded. If there was something not right about Dr Aardvark then it was our duty to tell Mrs Pumpernickle everything we knew. I put my hand up.

  ‘What is it, Davina?’ Mrs Pumpernickle looked at me with glazed eyes as she hurried back towards the door. ‘Need to go and get another teacher,’ she muttered under her breath. ‘Is that what you do in these situations? How on earth would I know, I’m not a trained teacher for goodness sake, I’m a house mistress. Why am I acting deputy head? The whole school’s gone barking mad...’

  ‘Mrs Pumpernickle!’ I said in a louder voice. ‘I need to tell you something.’

  ‘Can’t it wait?’ She got to the door and bustled out of it. ‘You can see I’m rather busy at the moment, Davina dear. So much responsibility, a whole school to run and what with teachers disappearing by the minute... Oh dear oh dear, whatever am I to do?’ And with that she’d gone, bustling off down the corridor, shaking her head and tutting.

  ‘Right, that’s it.’ Arabella turned to me, her eyes gleaming. ‘I can’t help thinking that Dr Aardvark’s disappearance and the poisoning of Mrs Fairchild are somehow linked. It’s time to take matters in to our own hands.’

  Right, I’ve got to go now Diary, as we are about to put Arabella’s rather scary.com plan into action...

  Later that evening, Friday, 12th March

  A result, Diary!!

  Basically, Arabella and I decided we should put her plan into action during break time yesterday afternoon. Unfortunately Diya and Angel had been taken off for more questioning by Detective Clifford, after some tests came back revealing that the milk in the hot chocolate they’d given Mrs Fairchild the night before she was taken ill was ever so slightly off, so they couldn’t come with us. Arabella said she’d already noticed some fresh animally signs around the school, like a pile of feathers and an egg behind a staircase and some grey fur caught on the edge of a shelf, and she dragged me round to show me the evidence. I picked up the egg and noticed there was another not far off so went and picked that one up too.

  ‘This one’s still warm,’ I said, handing it to Arabella. ‘Mrs Peck must be quite near. I think you’re right, Arabella, Dr Aardvark must still be in the building somewhere if his animals are around, I don’t think even he would abandon them.’

  Arabella nodded.
>
  ‘Look,’ she said, pointing. ‘Is that another egg half way up the staircase? It is! Ew, it’s a bit cracked and it’s leaking on to the step. Ooh, I wonder if Mrs Peck left a trail of eggs when she was returning to wherever Dr Aardvark is? Come on, let’s follow them and see.’

  So we did. Mrs Peck had been hugely helpful and laid eggs at regular intervals down several corridors and up two more flights of stairs.

  ‘Blimey,’ Arabella smiled, picking up the ninth we’d found. ‘We should give these to Marcel and he can make us all omelettes for dinner.’

  As we reached the top floor of the school, feeling a bit puffed out, I was worried the trail had gone cold.

  ‘I can’t see any more eggs,’ I said peering at the floor. The edges of the corridors were rather dusty and cobwebby. Arabella strode over and tried to open the door to the south turret.

  ‘Locked,’ she said, rattling it hard. ‘And there’s dust all around the key hole. It doesn’t look like anyone’s opened that door for years.’

  ‘Hang on, is that another door a bit further down there?’ I said, walking the opposite way down the corridor. ‘Yes it is, and the keyhole isn’t rusty at all.’

  ‘Try the handle,’ Arabella said, bending down to place her armful of eggs carefully next to the turret door before jogging over. I seized the handle and was just about to yank it down when a voice came from inside.

  ‘Help me, someone!’

  ‘Is that Dr Aardvark?’ I said loudly, pushing the handle down quickly. It was a bit stiff but I managed it eventually. The door turned out not to be locked and swung open easily.

  ‘What in the-‘ Arabella began, then stopped, too shocked to speak.

  A scene of utter mess greeted us. A very different looking Dr Aardvark was lying on an old mattress in the middle of a grey, dusty attic. His hair was now greasy and plastered down the sides of his face, which had gone pale and thin. His crazy collection of animals lay and sat around him looking very depressed. Monty the chimpanzee got to his feet and wandered over to us slowly, making sad “oo” noises. The old attic floorboards were strewn with animal poo, feathers and fur, which Monty was now walking through. The smell was TOO HORRIBLE for words and I pinched my nose to block out the worst of it.