Some Kind of Hell

by London Casey

  He opened it and said, “Jason…”

  “Logan, my man. Where’s the boys at?”

  Logan turned and a man in a black suit and skater shoes walked in. He had black spiked hair and a long goatee… it had to be a foot long. He looked weird and scary all at the same time. His muscles looked ready to break the seams of the suit.

  He slapped hands with Tatum and then Tripp.

  He looked around the room and laughed. “Yeah, I remember these rooms too. Sometimes these are better…”

  “Better than what?” Tripp asked.

  “The rooms on tour,” Jason said with a smile.

  “On tour,” Tripp whispered.

  “Fuck,” Tatum said.

  “Wait a second,” Logan said. “There’s no deal yet.”

  “Not yet,” Jason said. “But you three play your best and I’m sure I can get you something soon. I have two guys meeting me here in a few minutes. They’re executives for CraZee E Records…”

  “They can sign us?” Tatum asked.

  “If they like the show, I’m signing you,” Jason said. “Once you have management, then I can do more. But for now, just impress the hell out of them. Okay?”

  “No problem there,” Tripp said.

  I looked at the man in the suit with awe. A stupid kind of awe though, imagining what it must have been like to hold that kind of power. With his words or recommendation he could possibly put DownCrash in a studio and out on tour. Talk about life changing…

  But then as everyone talked and Jason grabbed a guitar and started playing (really well, by the way) I felt myself standing back, watching everything. The way Tatum and Maggie shared flirty glances. The way Scarlett had to hold onto to Tripp, no matter what. And then how Logan and Jason talked and played guitars together.

  I was so far out of my element and my comfort zone that I felt like I was drowning. Drowning in my own despair and my own worry of time and circumstance. Worried about my grandfather, who, according to my calendar was recovering from his last round of chemo. Worried about money and my basic need to survive. But more so, I felt drained and changed all at the same time. When I first walked into the apartment and saw Tatum and Maggie, it was all hope. I had fun. I flirted. I enjoyed everything. Then what really happened with Jared it began to weigh on me, over and over. That the woman he cheated on me with was pregnant. That his life would be some kind of perfect.

  Jason broke up my thoughts with a big laugh. He then answered a cell phone call and the moment it ended, he hurried to wish everyone in DownCrash good luck and was gone.

  “We’re going to be huge!” Tatum yelled.

  “Fuck yeah, man,” Tripp said. “We’re getting signed.”

  I smiled and felt something touch my arm. I turned and there was Logan, again, now inches away.

  “What’s wrong?” he asked.

  For a quiet guy, his voice and eyes were commanding. They were… irresistible.

  “Uh, nothing,” I said.

  “Yeah, right,” Logan said. “You better cheer up for this show.”

  “Is that an order?”

  “Do you like taking orders?”

  From you…? my mind thought. I looked away for a second to catch my breath.

  “Worried about your grandfather?” he asked.

  I was shocked. “How did…?”

  “Heard you say something about it once before. I’ve been there, you know. With my grandfather. Greatest man on earth. I’m sure it’ll work out for you.”

  I nodded. Then he touched my arm. Well, my wrist. He held it as though he didn’t want me to go away.

  “It’s scary, I know,” Logan said.

  “Thank you,” I said. I couldn’t believe it when I jumped at him and wrapped my arms around him.

  I felt like the whole world was watching us and I expected cheesy romance movie music to start playing.

  But none of that happened, of course.

  I stepped back and apologized.

  “Don’t be sorry,” Logan said. “That’s why I’m here. Get it all out now, we need so much energy for this show…”

  “You should see it out front,” I said.

  “A lot of people?” Tripp asked.

  “The entire town,” I said.

  “No lie,” Maggie said. “This is like the biggest show ever.”

  “Holy shit,” Tatum said.

  He found a pair of drumsticks and started to play a random beat on the top of an old, cracked leather barstool. The nerves were starting to kick in by the second and I wanted to know what time it was, but I was too afraid to look. I didn’t want Maggie to say something stupid.

  “We need to get out there like now,” Logan said. “I can’t wait.”

  “I need a distraction,” Tripp said.

  “I’m here,” Scarlett said in a fake, seductive voice.

  “Oh, Christ,” Tatum said, “get a room.”

  “Can we?” Tripp asked, smiling.

  I doubted he was joking at all.

  “What about you?” Logan asked, staring at me.

  “What about me?”

  He leaned close and put his lips way too close to my ear. “Want to be my distraction?”

  3

  A short while later, the noise out front echoed all the way to the back. The place was full and more than once a deafening chant of DownCrash! broke out. With only five minutes left until the show began, Maggie took my hand again and pulled me close.

  “We’re going out front now. They need a few minutes alone to get ready.”

  Scarlett, Maggie, and I walked out and stood next to the stage, right at the gate. The second I walked out the door to the main floor I lost my breath. Seeing those same people outside in a line, a massive crowed that could spread out on the street was one thing. Seeing the people jammed into the club, desperate to see DownCrash play a show, was like nothing in the world. Every sound caused a cheer. Every movement on or near the stage caused a cheer. The people were ready.

  When the lights finally went off, right on time, it told me that DownCrash was ready too.

  The screams almost busted my eardrums. I put my hands over my ears, but the funny part was that I was screaming too. When the three silhouettes made their way on stage, I couldn’t contain myself. I got it. I understood it. The live show. The feeling. The crowd. Everyone together for the same purpose. Waiting for the same thing to happen.

  Tripp walked to the mic and a light came on him. The crowd didn’t calm, not for a second. He said something, but it could barely be heard. He looked to Logan who now had a light shining on him. They both then turned and looked at Tatum just as a third light came to him.

  The crowd started to swell. It literally started to move. Everyone pushed to get that extra inch closer to the stage and the band. For a few seconds it was like the club was too small for DownCrash. I worried that the show was going to stop because the band couldn’t get the crowd to calm down. When Tripp turned back to the mic he didn’t say a word. He reached down and did something to his guitar, bringing it to life. He hit a chord and let it ring… and ring… and ring… the crowd continued to cheer, but the sound of his guitar started to squeal with feedback. It was the only thing that brought the crowd down.

  “Okay,” Tripp finally said. “I guess you’re all here for a show?”

  The crowd exploded again and Tripp looked back at Tatum and nodded.

  With a simple four count of the drumsticks, the night began. The first few seconds of the first song were almost a blur, thanks to the cheers of the crowd but everyone calmed enough to enjoy the music. When Tripp sang, the crowd sang. I watched Logan’s fingers move along the bass with ease, not missing a note. I also noticed the way he handled the stage, checking on Tripp and Tatum, keeping the songs together, keeping the crowd alive, and always willing to let the last note ring out as needed.

  I lost count after four songs, finally able to relax and enjoy myself and the show.

  Right when things were reaching the point of bein
g too loud for too long, the band came to the side of the stage, almost right to Scarlett, Maggie, and me. They reached for acoustic guitars. I stared at Logan and saw the sweat dripping off him. He looked at me and the sexual implication was so hot that my knees felt like they were going to buckle.

  The three guys then walked to the stage, to three mics, ready to play some more.

  “We’re going to slow this down for a few minutes,” Tripp said. “You don’t mind, right?”

  The crowd didn’t mind and neither did I.

  DownCrash played three acoustic songs, keeping the crowd with them the entire time. They didn’t miss a note, a lyric, nothing, and the crowd didn’t miss a beat either. They sang when Tripp said to sing. They screamed when Tripp said to scream.

  And when the little set was done and the band went to stand, Logan called them back.

  “Wait a second… wait a second…”

  “What’s wrong, Logan?” Tripp asked.

  They talked so casual, yet they had the voices that were meant to work a crowd. Everyone watched, cheering, laughing, waiting for something to happen.

  “We have a few special guests in the crowd tonight, don’t we?” Logan asked.

  My heart started to drop. If he said something about me… or called me on stage… or…

  “Who is in the crowd?” Tripp asked.

  “Just a few people,” Logan, “who can sign the band!”

  Logan yelled towards the end, taking his voice to a level I never heard. It was kind of sexy when Logan screamed like that. His voice carried and commanded.

  The crowd enjoyed the idea of the band being signed, but Logan wasn’t done there.

  “So, I have to ask,” Logan said, “are you all enjoying the show?”

  The crowd erupted. Logan looked at Tripp and Tripp looked at Tatum.

  “I don’t know,” Tatum said. “That was good… but…”

  Tripp’s voice overtook the stage. “Make their ears explode! Are you enjoying the show?”

  This time when the crowd cheered, it was like before when the band first came out. I had to cover my ears as I screamed.

  “Now that’s better,” Logan said. “Let’s give them a little hint at what to do now… sign the band… sign the band… sign the band…”

  Logan turned his head and listened.

  The crowd began to chant it, getting louder by the second.

  Sign the band!

  Sign the band!

  The club started to swell again as Logan, Tatum, and Tripp walked to the side of the stage, handing off their acoustic guitars for their normal instruments. When Logan looked at me again, he smiled and winked. He then showed me a guitar pick between his thumb and forefinger. He nodded and made the motion to throw it. I put my hands out and he tossed the guitar pick to me. I closed my right hand over it and squeezed. I had the sudden urge to cry and had no idea why. I felt pathetic and was almost glad when Logan turned, holding his bass, heading back to the crowd that wanted him so bad.

  The rest of the show was as intense as the beginning. The songs were loud and perfect, sounding almost as clear as they did on the local radio stations in MP3 format. The band changed a few things here and there, Tripp letting some of the songs last longer, Tatum adding a few extra drumbeats here and there, but most of all, DownCrash engaged the crowd. They let the crowd sing lyrics and choruses, kept the crowd moving, yelling, and gave them not even a second to think about stopping.

  When the show did finally come to an end, it did so with DownCrash playing the chorus to one of their most popular songs over and over… then in genuine fashion, the band took turns to thank their fans. In a quick move, Logan dropped his bass and took Tripp’s guitar. He continued to play along with Tatum, not missing a beat. Tripp then jumped from the stage to the floor and ran up and down along the gate, slapping hands with all the dedicated DownCrash fans. Everyone pushed forward, and I thought people were going to seriously fight to get to him. Tripp took the stage again and took back his guitar from Logan. Logan then walked to Tatum and moved behind the kit. He had a pair of drumsticks next and I watched in awe as Tatum moved away from the kit and Logan took over.

  I reached for Maggie’s arm and squeezed it.

  She looked at me as I looked at her.

  She nodded as if she knew the wild thoughts going through my head.

  It was so freaking hot…

  Logan played the drums as Tatum took his turn to jump off the stage and slap hands with the fans. When he came back, he went to the drums and he and Logan made their switch again with ease. That left Logan to go see the crowd. He walked slowly, hands out, almost looking a little uncomfortable with so many people touching him at once. But Logan did it. If it wasn’t for the fans, DownCrash would just be a small band. They were on the verge of becoming something huge.

  Very huge.

  When Logan came to the edge of the stage, he reached for me. He put his hand out and wiggled his fingers.

  Hurry…hurry…

  The crowd swelled again as Tripp and Tatum kept the song going with Logan off the stage. I put my hand to Logan’s and he pulled. I stumbled towards him, my body touching his sweaty body. Normally, it would have made me cringe, but caught in the moment of rock n’ roll and rockstars, it made me think of sex.

  “Don’t leave,” Logan yelled into my ear. “Don’t leave…”

  That’s all he said and then broke away, climbing the stage.

  He grabbed his bass and DownCrash played together for another minute before the show came to an end. As they ran off the stage, the crowd cheered for them and chanted for them. It took a few minutes for the crowd to finally calm and start to disperse from the club. Some people lingered to hang out at the bar and a voice came over the PA system stating that a DJ would be coming on around eleven for those who wanted to stay.

  I looked at Maggie and felt my toes curling. I wanted to get backstage and see the band. I wanted to see Logan. I wanted to touch him, hug him, jump at him. I wanted to celebrate with the band on the amazing show. It suddenly felt nice to be out of my own little calendar obsessed reality and into something else.

  We finally did go backstage, and the second we were there, we could hear DownCrash cheering for themselves. Tripp came running out of the small room they were in and grabbed Scarlett, hugging her. When Tatum appeared, Maggie jumped at him again. A few seconds later, Logan stood in the doorway, leaning against it with his thumbs in his pockets and one foot crossed over the other. He looked like the epitome of calm and cool. He saw me and he smiled, nodding. I went to him, standing a foot away, my toes still curling.

  “That was awesome,” I said.

  “You like the guitar pick?”

  “Not that,” I said. “The show.”

  “Oh, well if you don’t like the guitar pick, give it back. There’s plenty of girls out there that would do anything to get it.” Logan pushed off the doorway towards me. “And I mean… anything…”

  I gasped and stepped back.

  Was Logan implying that the guitar pick meant something? That I was given, what, the ticket to have sex with him?

  I reached into my pocket and took out the guitar pick.

  “Take it then,” I said.

  Hell no. I wasn’t going to let Logan talk to me like that. Or just assume something from me.

  No way in hell.

  “You don’t want it?” he asked.

  “Not if you think it means something,” I said.

  Logan laughed and put his hand over my hand. He pushed down and gently slid my hand - and part of his - into my pocket. He was just there, right there, looking at me again. He didn’t need to say anything to make an impact.

  “Look,” he said, “this is going to be a fun night. Hang with us. Whatever you’ve got waiting back in that apartment, leave it there. For tonight.”

  I put my other hand to Logan’s wrist and pulled his hand out of my pocket. Of course, I had the guitar pick again. It was a gift, and I wanted it. Really bad. Almos
t as bad as my mind tried to convince me I wanted Logan.

  “Whatever,” I said. “Just don’t assume anything. I’m not that girl.”

  “Of course you’re not,” Logan said.

  I thought for a second he was being an ass about it. Acting cocky, using his rockstar status to win me over. But his eyes were sincere.

  “What does that mean then?” I asked.

  “Do you have to know everything?” Logan asked. “You have to have it all planned out, right? You keep all those thoughts running wild in your head…”

  “What’s the point?” I asked. “Are you going to pick on me all night?”

  “No,” Logan said. “I’m going to show you how to celebrate life. Even for just one night.”

  I wanted to say more to Logan, but Tripp and Tatum came into the room, with Jason right behind them. I expected to see more people but it was just Jason. The look on Tripp’s face told me he expected to meet some of the record executives too.

  “How was it?” Logan asked.

  “That was beautiful,” Jason said. “I mean… beautiful.”

  “Beautiful?” Tatum asked. “I don’t like a rock show being called beautiful.”

  “Okay,” Jason said. “Pardon my language, ladies, but it was fucking sick.”

  Everyone laughed, including me.

  “Okay?” Jason asked. “I’ll say it again. Fucking… sick…”

  “What does fucking sick translate into?” Logan asked.

  He took the lead with the conversation, still acting as the businessman of the group.

  “The guys I was with loved the show,” Jason said.

  “Loved the show?” Tripp asked.

  “That’s right. They talked contract, tour, producer, the normal stuff.”

  “Normal?” Tatum asked. “That’s not normal for us.”

  “Not at all,” Logan said. “What else did they say?”

  “They said you need management,” Jason said. “They said you need a professionally recorded demo. They want six songs handed to them. Soon. Because… according to them… there’s a certain producer that has a little down time before his next project.”