Losing It

by Zaria Garrison

  “Are you out of your mind? Why would you ask such a thing?” Sharmaine glared at her.

  “I’m not accusing you of anything, but that woman looks amazingly like you,” she replied.

  “Keisha, surely you don’t believe my wife would be involved in anything like this?” Leon asked. He looked back and forth between the two of them.

  “I’m not saying that she is. All I’m saying is we are all human, and we make mistakes. If it is Sharmaine, you can tell me, and it won’t leave this room.” Keisha looked at Sharmaine expectantly.

  “I don’t believe you, Keisha! That is not me. I have never and would never make a sex tape. The only man I’ve ever slept with in my whole life is Leon, and our first time was on our wedding night. You know that.” Sharmaine folded her arms across her chest in frustration and anger.

  “I know. I’m just asking the same questions everyone else will be asking. Please don’t take offense. I’m sorry, but I had to ask,” she said. Keisha looked away and began typing rapidly on her laptop keyboard.

  “What are you doing now?” Sharmaine asked.

  “I’m preparing a statement to send to all the major news outlets, denying any involvement in the tape. It should all blow over in a few days,” Keisha replied.

  “Is that all? You are just going to say it’s not her and that’s it?” Leon asked.

  Keisha looked up and pushed her glasses up on her round face. “Basically, there’s not much else to do. Sharmaine is America’s sweetheart. I’m sure once we release a statement, things will calm down. Don’t worry.”

  Sharmaine and Leon’s maid, Consuela, tapped on the office door and opened it without waiting for an answer. “Breakfast is ready, Mr. and Mrs. Cleveland. The children are waiting in the kitchen. Will you be in soon, or should I serve you in here?” she asked.

  “We’ll be there in a minute,” Leon answered. “Oh, and keep the TV off in the kitchen and the family room,” he added.

  “It’s too late, Mr. Leon. The children have already seen the news.” She glanced sadly over at Sharmaine.

  “Okay, just make sure they don’t see any more of it. We’ll be right in,” Leon told her.

  Consuela quietly backed out of the room and closed the door.

  “I wonder if the people who are behind this ever gave a thought to what would happen when my ten-year-old son saw this.” Sharmaine struggled to fight back tears.

  “It’s a crazy world we live in, honey. We’ve never allowed Satan’s power in our lives, and we won’t start now. We’ll get through this together.” Leon took her hand into his and patted it. He smiled broadly at her.

  Sharmaine silently thanked God for Leon and his strength.

  The two of them had met when they were kids, but it wasn’t until after he’d graduated college that Sharmaine even gave him a second glance. By that time, he’d grown to be over six feet tall and was quite handsome. Leon had been a geeky teen with pasty light tan skin, the result of being biracial, with a Caucasian mother and African American father. His face was covered with moles and zits, as he had been losing the battle with acne. His light brown hair, and that of all of his siblings, was wild and unruly because their Caucasian mother had no idea how to style it for them.

  Keisha and Sharmaine had spent many teenage afternoons laughing at Leon and his brothers; however, when he returned from college, he’d cut and styled his hair into a neat fade, his skin had cleared up, and Sharmaine had to admit their three-year age difference no longer mattered.

  They’d been married for eighteen years, and she loved him more every time she looked into his face.

  “You’re right. Let’s just go talk to the kids.” Sharmaine turned to Keisha. “I want to read over that statement before you send it out. Come on and have some breakfast. We can finish this when we’re done.”

  The three of them left the office and joined the children in the kitchen. Consuela had already placed breakfast on the table.

  “Camille, you are such a liar. That was not Mom,” Sharmaine’s son, Rodney said. “Stop saying it or else,” he threatened.

  “Lower your voice, young man, and don’t threaten your sister,” Leon said as soon as he entered the room.

  “Dad, Camille is saying awful things about Mom. Make her stop it,” he whined.

  “Listen, your mother and I want to talk to all of you about what you have seen. Stop arguing right now,” Leon said.

  Their younger daughter, Jeanna, spoke up. “I didn’t see anything. I came down here and these two were arguing about what they saw. Is there really a sex tape with Mom on it?”

  Sharmaine sat down next to Jeanna. “No, there is not. There’s a tape with someone on it that resembles me,” she answered.

  “See, Camille, I told you!” Rodney stuck out his tongue at his sister.

  “Then who is the woman on the tape?” Camille asked, ignoring her baby brother.

  “We have no idea, and frankly, it doesn’t matter.” Leon looked back and forth between his three children as he spoke. “What does matter is that you three understand that it’s not your mother. She would never be involved in anything like that.”

  “No problem,” Jeanna said. She cut off a huge piece of waffle with her fork and stuffed it into her mouth.

  Sharmaine looked over at Camille. “Are you okay, honey? I know what you saw this morning has to be confusing to you.”

  “She looked exactly like you, Mom,” Camille answered.

  “Do you remember last year when we went to that church down in Valdosta, Georgia, and they hosted a Sharmaine Cleveland look-alike contest? Some of those women came pretty close,” Sharmaine said.

  “That was just all in fun, Mom. None of them really looked like you at all. Not like this woman does.”

  “You know, Camille, with computer graphics, and things like that, people can do a lot of things with a video camera and a computer. It’s probably just an elaborate photoshop job,” Keisha said.

  “Right, honey, they could have put my head on someone else’s body. People do that all the time to celebrities,” Sharmaine answered.

  “Why would someone do that? It doesn’t make any sense,” Camille asked.

  Sharmaine was running out of excuses and explanations to give to her daughter. She looked over at Leon for help.

  “It doesn’t have to make sense, honey. Some people, like the ones who did this, do things for reasons that don’t make sense. Your mother and I have led our lives for Christ. We’ve told you before that being people of God makes you a target sometimes,” he answered.

  “I know, but—”

  “Don’t worry about it, Camille,” Sharmaine said. “It’s going to all be over in a few days, and this will just be a bad memory. Listen, I’m off work for a while. We wrapped shooting on the movie last night. After you guys get in from school this afternoon, we are going to have a poolside barbecue, and tomorrow we can go shopping, just us girls.”

  “That is a great idea!” Jeanna chimed in. “Mom, I saw this gorgeous pink outfit I wanted at Nordstrom’s. I could wear it to your concert.”

  “Shopping? What about me?” Rodney asked.

  “I’m not finished. On Sunday, we’re going out to Lake Lanier and do some fishing. I’ll pick you up a new rod while the girls and I are shopping.” Sharmaine grinned at her son.

  “Great! I can hardly wait,” he said.

  Feeling just a little better, Camille finally began to eat her eggs, and within a few moments, the entire family and Keisha were laughing and talking.

  Sharmaine sat back in her chair and watched her family as the morning’s events seemed to float away into the air. “Thank you, God,” she whispered.

  Chapter Two

  “So, I guess you’ve heard the news about Sharmaine Cleveland. Her publicist is denying any involvement, but it doesn’t look good for her.”

  Shawn Reeves, entrepreneur and CEO of Raga Records, looked up from the folder he was reading at his wife Brenetta. She sat perched on the edge of his des
k, filing her long fingernails.

  “Yes, I’ve heard it, and I’m a bit concerned,” he replied. “We have a CD release in a couple of weeks, and a forty-city tour coming up. This could potentially have a negative effect on sales.”

  Brenetta suddenly stopped filing her nails and stared at him. “What do you mean, potentially? Who do you think wants to buy a gospel CD by a porn star? You need to cancel the release.”

  Shawn shook his head. “She’s no porn star. It’s just a tape. I’m just going to wait and see how this all plays out. Sharmaine Cleveland has been the most successful act we’ve ever signed. I’m not going to let some unauthenticated Internet tape cancel out all that.” Shawn turned his attention back to the material in his folder.

  “It didn’t take much more than that to get my CD cancelled,” Brenetta huffed.

  Shawn looked over at his wife sitting in front of him, obviously peeved. “Now, you know that’s not true. Your past legal troubles had very little to do with my decision not to release Sexy Saint. I just didn’t agree with the whole project. The production fell behind schedule, and you were way over budget. It was a business decision.”

  “None of that would have happened if you’d gotten me the production team I wanted. You had me in the studio with amateurs, while Sharmaine had the opportunity to work with Russell Dent. He’s one of the best producers in the country.”

  Shawn sighed. He loved his wife dearly, but her musical talent was limited. During their marriage, he had spent thousands of dollars on voice and diction lessons, but she still sounded like a chicken caught in a blender when she sang. She had begged and pleaded to have a singing career, so he had tried everything to make her recordings successful. He’d even tried to pull a “Milli Vanilli” and have someone else sing for her. It almost worked, until she barged her way into the recording studio one afternoon and discovered them. Without the help of the voice-overs, he had no other choice but to cancel the project.

  “Brenetta, you have to understand that Sharmaine earned the right to those producers. She’s brought millions of dollars into this company. People love and respect her.”

  “She’s a fraud. The tape proves that.” Brenetta rolled her neck and eyes.

  “I’m surprised at you. We’ve attended the same church as Sharmaine and Leon for ten years. We’ve had dinner in their home on numerous occasions. She’s supposed to be our friend. You know she’s a righteous woman of God. That tape has to be a fake.”

  Brenetta flipped her long, auburn-colored weave behind her left ear. “What if it isn’t? If that tape is real, you have to cancel the CD release.”

  “Maybe,” Shawn answered. He slowly rubbed his chin; then he brushed his fingers across his mustache and goatee.

  “What does that mean?”

  “It means that regardless of what you may think, I’m a businessman above all else. As long as Sharmaine is making money for this company, I don’t care what kind of videos she makes on her own time.”

  “You just said it yourself: she’s a righteous woman of God. What kind of woman of God would make a video like that? She’s the queen of gospel music and Christian movies. How can you say that you don’t care?

  Shawn closed the folder he’d been trying to read and stood up from his desk. “As a businessman, I honestly don’t care. Sometimes scandal sells records.”

  Brenetta put down her nail file and stood up also. “Scandal sells rap records. It does not sell gospel records.”

  “You may very well be right, but it’s too soon to know that. Like I said, I am a bit concerned. Let’s just leave it at that.” Shawn reached for his jacket and put it on.

  “I still think you need to go ahead and cancel the release.”

  “And I think that you are not going to let me get any work done, so we might as well go to dinner,” Shawn answered.

  Brenetta grabbed her purse and stuffed her nail file inside. Reluctantly, she followed him out of his office into the reception area.

  His secretary stopped him as soon as he stepped outside his office door. “I was just about to buzz you, Mr. Reeves. The Tyra Show called. They’ve cancelled the interview with Sharmaine Cleveland.”

  Shawn looked surprised. “Cancelled? Did they give a reason?”

  “They sent the list of questions to Keisha for Sharmaine to go over, and she has refused to discuss the sex tape. The show decided not to go forward without some discussion of it.”

  “You’re kidding me, right? What did they expect her to say about it?”

  “The producers felt that it should not be ignored. Sharmaine could have denied any involvement in it; however, they were insistent that it be discussed and edited clips be shown. Sharmaine refused to do that.”

  “Get her on the phone now!” he bellowed. Shawn stormed back into his office with Brenetta right on his heels.

  “I told you so. I told you so,” she gloated.

  “Not now, Brenetta. I’ve got to get that interview back. Go ahead and get the driver to take you to the restaurant. I’ll meet you there when I’m done.”

  “No, I want to hear all of this. I’m not going anywhere,” she said, planting herself firmly in a chair facing his desk.

  Ignoring her, Shawn answered his office phone as his secretary buzzed him. “I have Keisha on the line, Mr. Reeves. She says Sharmaine is out of town with her family and is unreachable. Do you want to speak with her?”

  “Put her through.” Shawn took a seat at his desk, then picked up his Bluetooth headset and put it on his ear. “What is wrong with Sharmaine? How could she refuse Tyra?” he demanded.

  “Hi, Shawn, it’s nice to hear from you,” Keisha answered.

  “Don’t try to double-talk me, Keisha. You need to inform Sharmaine to get her butt home so that she can get ready for this interview.”

  “She didn’t cancel the interview, Shawn; they did. What do you expect her to do?”

  “I expect her to answer the questions they ask her. She can’t go on a national television show and completely ignore the existence of this sex tape. That’s crazy. All she has to do is allow one question, deny being the woman on the tape, and move on to discussing the CD. What’s wrong with that?”

  “Frankly, I agree with you, but Sharmaine feels it’s best to simply ignore the tape. She also flat out refuses to be there if they plan to show clips of it. Her husband and children will be in the audience. She says it’s not negotiable.”

  Shawn slammed his fist against his desk out of frustration, and to scare Brenetta, who was busy making faces at him and mouthing I told you so over and over. He pointed a finger of warning at her before returning to his conversation. “What else do we have lined up before the release?”

  Keisha hesitated before answering. “That’s what I’ve been working on all day.”

  “You must be kidding me. You waited until now to start lining up publicity and interviews. Keisha, you are usually on top of these things. I never check up on it because I know you will handle it. What’s going on with you?”

  “I did handle it, Shawn. The problem is the tape. Since it came out, the secular shows want to discuss it, and Sharmaine refuses. The religious shows don’t want her or the controversy. All of the TV shows I had scheduled have pulled out. The only things left are the magazine interviews, because they’ve already gone to press.”

  Shawn sat back in his chair, stunned. “I had no idea this tape thing was so big. I’d seen it on the gossip blogs, but I wasn’t concerned. This is really going to cause major problems.”

  “Shawn, it’s huge. That’s why she left town. The headmaster from the kidsprivate school asked her to pull them out for a while because their presence was causing too much of a disruption.”

  “That’s ridiculous. That school is full of celebrities kids. What’s the problem?”

  “The other children were harassing the kids about the tape. Rodney got into a fight and came home with a black eye. After the headmaster asked them to leave school, she and Leon decided to get out
of town until the tour starts.”

  “Keisha, you are her right arm. You’ve got to reason with her and get these interviews rescheduled.”

  “Trust me, Shawn, I have tried. The worst part is Sharmaine thinks she can pray it away. Every time I try to talk about it, she says that God is in control and He’s handling it.” Keisha sighed deeply into the phone.

  “That sounds like Sharmaine. She’s a firm believer that her success is attributed solely to God. I’m not surprised that she’d take that attitude in this situation, but does she really expect us to do nothing?”

  “Yes. She says that I worry too much, but things are going crazy. She and the girls were mobbed last week at the mall, and they had to leave without completing their purchases. I stayed behind and paid for everything then delivered it later.”

  “That’s a good thing, Keisha. If the fans were excited to see her, then—”

  Keisha interrupted him. “No, it wasn’t fans. It was former fans. It was people pointing fingers and calling her names. She was accused of being a hypocrite and much worse. Camille and Jeanna were in tears. It was awful. She had to get away from it, Shawn.”

  “Wow. I guess I need to keep a close watch on this going forward. I have to tell you that after hearing this, I am seriously considering canceling, or at the very least postponing the release.” Shawn looked over at Brenetta as he said it, watching a huge smile spread across her face.

  “Shawn, no, you can’t do that! Sharmaine would be crushed.”

  “I feel for her, but we’ve put a lot of money behind this project. I can’t afford to lose it all. You need to have her call me so we can discuss this.”

  “I will, Shawn. I promise you. Please don’t make a final decision until we’ve spoken again.”

  Shawn hung up the phone without replying. He looked over at a smug Brenetta staring at him. “I’m not in the mood, Brenetta,” he said before she could speak.

  “Cancel the release, Shawn. This scandal is going to cost you a lot of money if you don’t,” she answered.

  “It’s going to cost me either way. If we cancel, I lose everything I’ve put into it. If I move forward and it flops, I lose as well. This is not good either way.”