Her Festive Baby Bombshell
Page 11
She didn’t question him but rather she quietly followed him to the center of the house. He opened the door to a small room with reinforced walls and no windows.
“What is this?”
“A safe room. I know it’s not very big, but trust me, it’ll do the job. I had it specifically put in the house for this very reason.” With a flashlight in hand, he started lighting the candles. “There. That’s all of them.” A loud bang echoed through the house. “Now, I’ll go work on the generator.”
Holly reached out, grasping his arm. “Please don’t go outside.”
“But I need to—”
“Stay safe. We’ve got everything we need right here.”
“Holly, don’t worry. This isn’t my first storm.”
“But it’s mine. Promise me you won’t go outside.”
He stared into her big brown eyes and saw the fear reflected in them. It tore at his heart. He pulled her close until her cheek rested against his shoulder.
“Everything will be fine.”
She pulled back in order to gaze into his eyes. “Promise me you won’t go outside.”
He couldn’t deny her this. “Yes, I promise.”
This time she squeezed him tight as though in relief.
Seconds later, Finn pulled away. “I think we’ll need some more candles and I want to do one more walk through the house to make sure it’s secure. I’ll be back.”
“I can come with you.”
“No. Stay here and get comfortable. I’ll be right back. I promise.” He started for the door.
“Finn?”
He paused, hearing the fear in her voice. “Do you need something else?”
“Um, no. Just be careful.”
“I will.” Was it possible that through all of her defensiveness and need to assert her independence that she cared for him? The thought warmed a spot in his chest. But he didn’t have time to dwell on this revelation. The winds were starting to howl.
He hurried back to the kitchen where he’d purposely forgotten the weather radio. He wanted to listen to it without Holly around. He didn’t know much about pregnant women, but he knew enough to know stress would not be good for her.
The radio crackled. He adjusted it so he could make out most of the words. The eye of the storm had shifted. It was headed closer to them. And the winds were intensifying to hurricane strength. Finn’s hands clenched tightly.
This was all his fault. He should have paid more attention to the weather instead of getting distracted with the babies and his plans for the future. Now, instead of worrying about what he’d be like as a father, he had to hope he’d get that chance. He knew how bad the tropical storms could get. He’d ridden one out in this very house a few years back. It was an experience he’d been hoping not to repeat.
With a sigh, he turned off the radio. He made the rounds. The house was as secure as he could make it. With the radio, satellite phone and a crate of candles and more water, he headed back to Holly.
“How is everything?” Her voice held a distinct thread of worry.
He closed the door and turned around to find a cozy setting awaiting him. There were blankets heaped on the floor and pillows lining the wall. With the soft glow of the candles, it swept him back in time—back to when his big brother was still alive. They were forever building blanket forts to their mother’s frustration.
The memory of his mother and brother saddened him. Finn tried his best not to dwell on their absence from his life, but every now and then there would be a moment when a memory would drive home the fact that he was now all alone in this world.
“Finn, what is it?” Holly got to her feet and moved to him.
It wasn’t until she pressed a hand to his arm that he was jarred from his thoughts. “Um, nothing. Everything is secure. It’s started to rain.”
“The storm’s not going to miss us, is it?”
“I’m afraid not. But we’ll be fine.”
“With the door closed, it’s amazing how quiet it is in here. I could almost pretend there isn’t a big storm brewing outside.”
He didn’t want to keep talking about the weather. He didn’t want her asking more questions, because the last thing he wanted to do was scare her with the word hurricane. After all, it wasn’t even one yet, but there was a strong potential.
“I see you made the room comfortable.”
She glanced around. “I hope you like it.”
“I do.” There was one thing about this arrangement—she couldn’t get away from him. He had a feeling by the time the sun rose, things between them would be drastically different.
* * *
This was not working.
Holly wiggled around, trying to get comfortable. It wasn’t the cushions so much as hearing the creaking of the house and wondering what was going on outside. Finn hadn’t wanted to tell her so she hadn’t pushed, but her best guess was that they were going to experience a hurricane. The thought sent a chill racing down her spine.
“Is something wrong?”
“Um, nothing.”
She glanced across the short space to find Finn’s handsome face illuminated in the candlelight. Why exactly had she insisted on the candles? Was she hoping there would be a bit of romance? Of course not. The soft light was comforting, was all.
His head lifted and his gaze met hers. “Do you need more cushions? Or a blanket?”
“Really, I’m fine.” There was another loud creak of the house. “I...I’m just wondering what’s going on outside. Should we go check?”
“No.” His answer was fast and short. “I mean there could be broken glass and it’s dark out there. We’ll deal with it in the morning.”
She swallowed hard. “You really think the windows have been blown out?”
“The shutters will protect them. Hopefully the house is holding its own.”
“Maybe you should turn on the radio.” Whatever the weather people said couldn’t be worse than what her imagination had conjured up.
“You know what I’d really like to do?” He didn’t wait for her to respond. “How about we get to know each other better?”
“And how do you propose we do that?”
“How about a game of twenty questions? You can ask me anything you want and I have to be absolutely honest. In return, I get to ask you twenty questions and you have to be honest.”
She wasn’t so sure honesty right now would be such a good idea, especially if he asked if she cared about him. “I...I don’t know.”
“Oh, come on. Surely you have questions.”
She did. She had lots of them, but she wasn’t so sure she wanted to answer his in return. She didn’t open up with many people. She told herself it was because she was introverted, but sometimes she wondered if it was more than that.
On this particular night everything felt surreal. Perhaps she could act outside her norm. “Okay, as long as I go first.”
“Go for it. But remember you only get twenty questions so make them good ones.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
HOLLY DIDN’T HAVE to think hard to come up with her first question. “Why did you look like you’d seen a ghost when you stepped in here?”
There was a pause as though Finn was figuring out how to answer her question. Was he thinking up a vague answer or would he really open up and give her a glimpse of the man beneath the business suits and intimidating reputation?
He glanced off into the shadows. “When I walked in here I was reminded of a time—long ago. My brother and I used to build blanket forts when we were kids. Especially in the winter when it was too cold or wet to go outside. My mother wasn’t fond of them because we’d strip our beds.”
Holly smiled, liking that he had a normal childhood with happy memories. She wondered why
he kept them hidden. In all the time she’d been around him, she could count on one hand the number of times he spoke of his family. But she didn’t say a word because she didn’t want to interrupt him—she found herself wanting to learn everything she could about him.
“I remember there was this one Christmas where we’d built our biggest fort. But it was dark in there and my brother wanted to teach me to play cards. My mother would have been horrified that her proper young men were playing cards—it made it all the more fun. We tried a flashlight but it didn’t have enough light. So my brother got an idea of where to get some lights.”
Holly could tell by the gleam in Finn’s eyes that mischief had been afoot. He and his brother must have been a handful. Would her twins be just as ornery? Her hand moved to her stomach. She had a feeling they would be and that she’d love every minute of it. She might even join them in their fort.
“While my parents were out at the Mistletoe Ball and the sitter was watching a movie in the family room, we took a string of white lights off the Christmas tree.”
Holly gasped. “You didn’t.”
Finn nodded. “My brother assured me it was just one strand. There were plenty of other lights on the tree. After all, it was a big tree. So we strung the lights back and forth inside our fort. It gave it a nice glow, enough so that we could see the cards. There was just one problem.”
“You got caught?”
He shook his head. “Not at first. The problem was my brother for all of his boasting had no clue how to play cards. So we ended up playing Go Fish.”
Holly couldn’t help but laugh, imagining those two little boys. “I bet you kept your parents on their toes.”
“I suppose we did—for a while anyway.” The smile slipped from his face and she wanted to put it back there. He was so handsome when he smiled.
“So what happened with the lights?”
“Well, when my parents got home, my mother called us down to the living room. It seems my father tried to fix the lights that were out on the lower part of the tree, but he soon found they were missing. My mother wanted to know if we knew anything about it. I looked at my brother and he looked at me. Then we both shrugged. We tried to assure her the tree looked good, but she wasn’t buying any of it. My mother didn’t have to look very long to find the lights. As I recall, we were grounded for a week. My father had the task of putting the lights back on the tree with all of the ornaments and ribbon still on it. He was not happy at all.”
“I wouldn’t think he would be.”
“Okay. So now it’s my turn. Let’s see. Where did you grow up?”
She gave him a funny look. “Seriously, that’s what you want to know?”
He shrugged. “Sure. Why not?”
“I grew up in Queens. A long way from your Upper East Side home.”
“Not that far.”
“Maybe not by train but it is by lifestyle.” When Finn glanced away, she realized how that sounded. She just wasn’t good at thinking about her family and the way things used to be so she always searched for a diversion.
“It’s my turn.” She thought for a moment and then asked, “Okay, what’s your favorite color?”
He sent her a look of disbelief. “Are you serious?”
“Sure. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“It’s just that I thought these were questions to get to know each other. I don’t know how my favorite color has much to do with anything.”
“I’ll tell you once you spit it out.”
He sighed. “Green. Hunter green. Now why was that so important to you?”
“Are you sure it isn’t money green?” He rolled his eyes and smiled at her before she continued. “It’s important to me because I need a color to paint the babies’ bedroom.”
“Oh. I hadn’t thought of that. Then I get to ask you what your favorite color is.”
“Purple. A deep purple.”
“Sounds like our children are going to have interesting bedrooms with purple and green walls.”
Holly paused and thought about it for a minute. “I think we can make it work.”
“Are you serious?”
“Very. Think about green foliage with purple skies. A palm tree with a monkey or two or three. And perhaps a bunch of bananas here and there for a splash of yellow.”
His eyes widened. “How did you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Come up with that mural off the top of your head?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. It just sounded fun and like something our children might enjoy.”
“I think you’re right. I’ll have the painters get started on it right away.”
“Whoa! Slow down. I don’t even know where we’ll be living by the time these babies are born.” When the smile slipped from his face, she knew it was time for a new question. “Why do you always leave New York at Christmastime? No, scratch that. I know that answer. I guess my real question is why do you hate Christmas?”
He frowned. “So now you’re going for the really hard questions, huh? No, what’s your middle name? Or what’s your favorite food?”
She shrugged. “I just can’t imagine hating Christmas. It’s the season of hope.”
There was a faraway look in his eyes. “My mother, she used to love it, too. She would deck out our house the day after Thanksgiving. It was a tradition. And it wasn’t just her. The whole family took part, pulling the boxes of decorations out of the attic while Christmas carols played in the background. After we hung the outside lights, my mother would whip up hot chocolate with those little marshmallows.”
“So you don’t like it anymore because it reminds you of her?”
Finn frowned. “You don’t get to ask another question yet. Besides, I wasn’t finished with my answer.”
“Oh. Sorry.”
“Now that my family isn’t around, I don’t see any point in celebrating. I’ll never get any of those moments back. When I’m here, I don’t have to be surrounded by those memories or be reminded of what I lost.”
There was more to that story, but she had to figure out the right question to get him to open up more. But how deep would he let her dig into his life? She had no idea. But if she didn’t try to break through some of the protective layers that he had surrounding him, how in the world would they ever coparent? How would she ever be able to answer her children’s questions about their father?
She didn’t want to just ignore her kids’ inquiries like her mother had done with her. Initially when her father had left, she’d been so confused. She thought it was something she’d done or not done. She didn’t understand because to her naive thinking, things had been good. Then one day he packed his bags and walked out the door. Her mother refused to fill in the missing pieces. It was really hard for a ten-year-old to understand how her family had splintered apart overnight.
Finn cleared his throat. “Okay, next question. Do your parents still live in Queens?”
“Yes, however right now my mother’s visiting my aunt in Florida. And my father moved to Brooklyn.”
Finn’s brow arched. “So they’re divorced?”
“You already had your question, now it’s my turn.” Finn frowned but signaled with his hand for her to proceed, so she continued. “What happened to your brother?”
Finn’s hands flexed. “He died.”
She knew there had to be so much more to it. But she didn’t push. If Finn was going to let down his guard, it had to be his choice, and pushing him would only keep him on the defensive.
And so she quietly waited. Either he expanded on his answer or he asked her another question. She would make peace with whatever he decided.
“My brother was the star of the family. He got top marks in school. He was on every sports team. And he shadowed my father on the weekends
at the office. He was like my father in so many ways.”
“And what about you?”
“I was a couple of years younger. I wasn’t the Lockwood heir and so my father didn’t have much time for me. I got the occasional clap on the back for my top marks, but then my father would turn his attention to my brother. For the most part, it didn’t bother me. It was easier being forgotten than being expected to be perfect. My brother didn’t have it easy. The pressure my father put on him to excel at everything was enormous.”
Holly didn’t care what Finn said, to be forgotten by a parent or easily dismissed hurt deeply. She knew all about it when her father left them to start his own family with his mistress, now wife number two.
But this wasn’t her story, it was Finn’s. And she knew it didn’t have a happy ending, but she didn’t know the details. Perhaps if she’d dug deeper on the internet, she might have learned how Finn’s family splintered apart, but she’d rather hear it all from him.
“Everything was fine until my brother’s grades started to fall and he began making mistakes on the football field. My father was irate. He blamed it on my brother being a teenager and being distracted by girls. My brother didn’t even have a girlfriend at that point. He was too shy around them.”
Holly tried to decide if that was true of Finn, as well. Somehow she had a hard time imagining this larger-than-life man being shy. Perhaps he could be purposely distant, but she couldn’t imagine him being nervous around a woman.
“My brother, he started to tire easily. It progressed to the point where my mother took him to the doctor. It all snowballed from there. Tests and treatments became the sole focus of the whole house. Christmas that year was forgotten.”
“How about you?” He didn’t say it, but she got the feeling with so much on the line that Finn got lost in the shuffle.
He frowned at her, but it was the pain in his eyes that dug at her. “I didn’t have any right to feel forgotten. My brother was fighting for his life.”
She lowered her voice. “But it had to be tough for you with everyone running around looking after your brother. No one would blame you for feeling forgotten.”