Hearts Unfold

by Karen Welch

  He felt the flare of his own temper. “Understand what? I can't for the life of me understand what Milo has to do with us. He's never even met you, how can he disapprove? Explain this to me, please!” Going to his knees on the floor, he could finally look into her face. As their eyes met, he thought he saw a dawning realization, a sudden flicker of understanding.

  “You really didn't know.” Her voice, barely more than a whisper, was edged with relief. “I thought all along you must have known, but I never wanted to bring it up.”

  “Known what! You're driving me mad, Emily. Tell me, please!” He sat back on his heels, running a hand through his hair.

  “After the accident, just a few days after you were taken to New York, I received a letter from Milo. He had sent an investigator to talk to Jack, and I guess that's how he learned about me.”

  “John.” Stani laid his hands gently on her knees, waiting. As she seemed to search for words he tried to imagine what sort of things Milo might have written to her at the time and his pulse quickened. “What did Milo say in this letter, Emily?”

  Finally, carefully measuring her phrasing, she went on softly, “He thanked me for my 'heroic efforts' and enclosed a check, a big check. He said he was sure I would be discreet if I were approached to tell my story to the press. I was furious, insulted, but I kept the check. I can only imagine what he must have thought of me. I'm sure he still thinks he bought my silence.”

  He felt a rush of disappointment and disbelief. The hurt in her eyes, the idea that Milo had been responsible for that injury, was beyond intolerable. But he understood now, at least, and he could try to explain it to her. “That's just like Milo. Everything in dollars and cents. He doesn't understand that not everything is measured that way.” His eyes met hers, apologetic, pleading. “What you did was amazing. And he made you feel that he was paying you to hide it.”

  “But I had already decided to do that myself. Of course, he couldn't have known that. I could understand his wanting to protect you.”

  He took a deep breath, determined to be as straightforward as possible. “He was protecting me from my own stupidity. He was afraid the press would get hold of the fact that I was somewhere I wasn't supposed to be, with people I shouldn't have been with, doing God knows what. I had gotten myself into trouble the moment he let me out of his sight. I nearly got myself killed! Milo was just doing what he does, saving me from myself, not for purely unselfish reasons, you understand. He was minimizing the damage I'd done, and in the process he minimized the fact that you had saved my life.” He took her hands, pressing them together between his own. “And I never made any attempt to find you, to thank you myself. I just left it to him, as I've always done, to take care of everything for me. You must have despised us both.”

  “I could never have despised you. But I doubt Milo will see things the way you do now. I still don't see how I could ever face him, knowing what he must have thought at the time.”

  “You'll have to face him sometime. Besides, I'm sure he expected you to keep that check. He had no idea he was hurting you. Quite the contrary, I'm sure he thought he was doing the right thing. You'll understand when you get to know him better.”

  “You make it sound as if we're going to become friends.” Finally, there was a trace of a smile.

  “Maybe. But that isn’t important. What is important is us, our future. Whatever Milo thinks, or does, should never be allowed to interfere with that. Now, will you please reconsider? Will you come to New York next month?”

  “It's really what you want? Why?”

  He let out a long sigh of exasperation. “Because, you impossible girl, I want the world I live in to know that I'm in love with the most incredibly wonderful woman in anyone's world. If I'm going to marry you next year, isn't it time I started letting everyone know?”

  He felt the breath expel from her lungs and saw her face grow pale. It was hardly the way he'd envisioned it, but he was not displeased with the result. At least she knew what he was planning, and there was that sparkle in her eyes again.

  “Next year?” Her voice was very small, but she was stroking his face, a smile playing at the corners of her lips.

  “I was thinking September. Your gardening should be done by then, shouldn't it?”

  “Yes, I think so. Are you sure you know what you're saying?”

  “That I want to marry you? To stand up in that beautiful little church, before God and man, and promise to love you 'til death and beyond? That's what I'm saying. Is that all right with you?”

  He should have known there would be tears. But these were sweet, smiling tears he could taste as she kissed him. Her arms around his neck, her hands in his hair, she showered him with kisses, punctuated by little humming moans of pleasure. Slowly, he got to his feet, pulling her to him, kissing her with as much passion as he dared. When he drew away, looking into her still brimming eyes, he grinned. “Does this mean you'll come to New York? Or just that you'll marry me?”

  “I suppose I'll have to do both, won't I?”

  “I'd much prefer it, but if there's a choice, just be sure it's the latter.”

  “Oh, Stani, suddenly I think I'd be willing to do anything you asked me. As long as you really want me, I'll go wherever you say. Just promise me something?”

  “Anything.”

  “We'll keep it a secret, just for a while. I don't want to share this with anyone, to have to answer questions or make explanations. We have time.”

  “I'll try; but you must know, I'm not good at hiding my feelings, not when it comes to you. But we will tell the people closest to us, won't we?” He eyed her with rising concern. Did she doubt his sincerity?

  “Of course. After you get back from Europe, and we have time to iron out the details. It's not as if there aren't still things in the way of our being together. Your career, for one thing. But let's just have this time, when we know what we want, before we tackle those things. I'll come to New York, see your world, as you say; and then after you're gone on tour, we can start figuring out how all this is going to work.” She put her arms around him, hugging him tightly. “I want you, Stani, for always too. There will be a way, I know there will, to overcome all these fears.”

  “Fears?” He forced her to meet his gaze. “Fears of what, darling girl?”

  “That I won't be the kind of woman you need in your world, that your family and friends will tell you you're making a mistake. That when I'm there with you, you'll see me differently.” She dropped her eyes; her smile vanished now.

  He sat down, drawing her across his lap and holding her gently against his chest. “Listen to me very carefully. First of all, no one can make me believe I'm making a mistake. This may be the first time in my life I’m certain I'm doing the right thing for myself. I've come here, found you, fallen in love with you, all on my own. I've made decisions, made changes, moved out and moved away from the thing that's controlled me since I was just a little boy. You have inspired me to become my own man, Emily. How can you doubt the strength of what I feel for you? Even if you never want to see New York City again, it won't matter. If you want to stay here and wait for me, I'll come back to you. While I might want you to travel with me, share the madness of my life at least part of the time, if that isn't something you can do, we'll find some compromise. Emily, I see you for the treasure you are. Your simplicity, your gentleness and goodness, fill every empty place in me. Am I making myself in any way clear?”

  She had listened, wide-eyed, gazing up into his face. Now she nodded without a smile. “Yes, Stani. Perfectly clear. Eloquently clear. I believe you love me enough. I can't quite accept the miracle of it, but I will in time I think. And if compromise is all it takes, we can do that, I know. It's change, it's not fitting together, the way we do here, that scares me. Here we've been so natural together. Will it be that way out there?”

  “We won't know until we try, will we? But why wouldn't we? I'm not different out there, except that there are more demands on me. But you'
ll have to see for yourself. That's one reason I wanted you to come to New York as soon as possible, before we start pretending my career is some far off thing. You've never even see me perform; and that is me, darling, with that blasted violin, that people expect to hear on any given night. But that is also me, the poor wretch who leaves the stage exhausted and wonders if he was good enough on that given night. Will you still love me if I sink into the depths after disappointing myself? I think you will, I think you might even keep me from sinking. We won't know until we try. But remember, if we never try, we'll surely fail.”

  “Failure is most often in the hesitation. My father lived by that, and I've tried to. I'm not usually so afraid of failure. But this is so much bigger than anything I've ever tried. There's so much at stake now, you most of all. I couldn't bear to disappoint you, Stani.”

  “Emily, you can never disappoint me as long as you stay true to yourself. You are the woman who saved my life, who keeps on saving my life every day you love me. You said you wanted to be in love with me, if that's what I wanted, remember?”

  “Yes, of course, I remember.”

  “Did you think we'd only be in love for a few days every month or so, when I could find a little time to come here to you? Did you think I'd be satisfied to ask you to wait indefinitely for a few kisses by the fire? I want you with me, every minute, as close at hand as I can keep you. Emily, I want you to be my wife, the person who shares everything in my life, the good and the bad. And I want to share in yours, the beauty and the simplicity, the hard work, the joy of life in this place. I believe God led me back here, not to find my memory, but to find my future. He seems to have a plan for us together now, not separately anymore. If it's divinely ordained, how can we be afraid?”

  She reached up to touch his face, her hand cool and soothing. “When did you become so wise?”

  “Not wise, but so much in love. It fills me with a confidence I've never known. You told me, wait and listen. And what I hear is him telling me to love you, to make my life with you. He will show us how to work out these details you're worried about. If we start down the road, I'm certain the way will become clear. I'm sure enough to risk everything on it.”

  “No fear?”

  “No, and for me that's quite a change. I'm the kid who was terrified of everything, but not anymore. Not if you're with me. I've stood up to Milo; that in itself is amazing. What else is there to fear?”

  She sighed, staring into the distance. “I still have to face him. You'll be there, to protect me?”

  “You know I will. But I really think he'll be so charmed, he won't be the least bit scary. And you'll only have to meet him once. I'll make sure John is there too. He'll be your bodyguard now, you know. And he'll like the new responsibility. He says you have beautiful legs.” He kissed the tip of her nose, aware of the darkness that lingered in her eyes.

  “Really? I've never had a bodyguard. But I thought you would be my protector, my knight in shining armor.” She nestled her head against his shoulder. “I suppose in some situations, we'll both need protection. Can you go wherever you want, just walk down the street, or do you have to ride in cars with tinted windows and rush in through back entrances?”

  “Good heavens, I'm not some matinee idol. Oh, the photo hounds can be a bore, and there's the occasional autograph seeker, but you get used to that. Once in a while, John will slip me out a side door if there's too much of a crowd, but not all that often. It's just part of the job, and I guess I've been dealing with it for so long I don't notice it anymore. If it causes you any distress, I promise, we'll take care of it. John is very good at what he does. But I'm sure we can go wherever you want to, sightsee, go to the theater, things everyone wants to do in New York. We'll have fun, darling, I know we will. It’ll be our first big adventure together. Now look at me and tell me you feel just a little braver about things. No more fears?”

  “How can I be afraid when your arms are so strong around me?” She offered her face for his kiss, but he continued to stare down at her. “Stani, you could kiss me, just to give me that little bit of added courage.”

  “Is that all it will take? No dragons to slay, no ogres to run off? Give me some real challenge, my lady, to prove my worthiness.” When she giggled, he covered her mouth with his, his kiss demanding her response. She gradually grew limp in his arms, her hands falling to his chest in surrender. “Brave enough now?”

  “For the moment.” She was breathless, sighing against his neck.

  “So you promise to never again doubt the power of my love for you? Never to question that you are my one true, forever love?”

  “Yes, Stani, I promise, no more doubts.”

  “And you'll come to New York, let me show you off and take you around the town, meet my family and friends and even Milo?” He relentlessly kissed her forehead, her nose, her chin.

  “Yes, Stani. I'll come to New York.”

  “And you'll marry me in September, stand up with me in church and make an honest man of me?” More kisses, and he pressed her tighter against his chest, until he could feel her heart beating against his ribs.

  “Yes, Stani. I'll marry you. In September. In church. If that's what you want.”

  “It is what I want. Is it what you want?”

  “Yes, Stani, more than anything. No more fears. No more doubts. Now would you kiss me like that one more time, just to seal the deal?”

  “Gladly.”

  Chapter Forty-nine

  Dearest Stani,

  In just six days, I'll be there with you. The time is going too fast, and I'm sure I'll still be packing when the driver gets here on Monday morning. Martha Jean keeps sending me clothes to try on, as if she thinks I don't own anything fit to take to the big city. Do you know, she told me after meeting you that I really need to step up my style? She thinks you are flamboyant! How can a man who only wears shades of black be flamboyant? She must have been blinded by your hair and your incredibly brilliant smile. At any rate, she’s convinced me to buy some very impractical things, which I hope you will at least pretend to admire. I'm sure when I get home she’ll expect a full report of your impressions. Do you consider me dowdy and old fashioned, Stani?

  Jack and I paid a visit to Emily on Sunday afternoon. She is healthy and very sweet, but the conditions in their home are pretty primitive. Bobby and Ruthie wanted me to tell you how much they appreciated your gift. They used it to buy a beautifully outfitted crib for the baby. She is sleeping in royal style in the middle of the kitchen near the cook stove. They are loving parents, but I hope she will be their last.

  (Do you like babies, Stani? Or have you ever spent any time around one? It's a question I feel I must have an answer to, as I paint my pictures of our future.)

  It has occurred to me that you still owe me a proper proposal of marriage. Maybe when you’re back from Europe and we are prepared to let everyone in on our plans, we could enact a little drama, so we'll have a story to tell all our friends. I somehow think Lil will be disappointed to hear that you merely informed me that we were getting married. She sees you as one of the great romantic figures of our generation, you know. After you did something so blatantly Old World as kissing her on both cheeks, she went on all night about your elegant manners, your charm, your style, and even the lyrical beauty of your accent. I had to listen into the wee hours of the morning, as she sang your praises, as if I had no idea how wonderful you are. She will definitely expect you to ride off into the sunset with me slung over the saddle of your white charger, banners flying, trumpets blaring. How can you disappoint your biggest fan?

  Do you have any idea the interest you generated here? Myrtice Green, the postmistress, is a fount of information; and she says that everyone has been asking questions about you, where were you born, how we met, how much money you earn, if your hair is really that curly, or that color? Oh, and most frequently asked, are you ever coming back to town? I guess they don't have much faith in mypower to hold your attention.

  I am am
azed at the ease with which you walked down the streets of our little town. I won't say you fit right in, but you did seem at home. Perhaps you are such a citizen of the world you would be at home anywhere. But in a town this size, anyone who wasn't born here is considered a foreigner. I myself am only first generation, since both of my parents were outsiders. Even though my father's uncle built the house I live in, it counts for very little. Many of the families have been here since before the Declaration of Independence was signed. But it’s a good place to live, for the most part. There is virtually no crime, everyone keeps the trash picked up, and church attendance on Sunday is over sixty percent. Can any of that be said of NYC?

  You can’t imagine how excited/terrified I am of coming to said NYC. Please promise you'll stop me from gawking at everything like the country girl I am. I don't want to embarrass you; in fact I want so much to make you proud of me. But I've never been to a city bigger than DC, and that was on my seventh grade field trip. All my travels have been between the covers of books. I envy you the opportunity to see the world and earn your living at the same time. After we’re married, perhaps I could tag along once in a while? I could iron your shirts and carry your luggage, not to mention massage your tired shoulders. Oh, but you already have John to do those things for you. Are you sure you really need a wife?

  I'll be ready to run into your waiting arms, after seven hours alone in the back of a car. Please keep a light in the window for me?

  Yours at sixes and sevens,

  Emily

  Darling Emily,

  In the brief days we were together do you realize we covered any number of major life events? Birth, marriage proposal, meeting the in-laws, celebrating our

  first Christmas together, not to mention my own personal firsts. I not only experienced a spiritual awakening, but prepared my first tea tray, and ate my first wild duck. And I slept all night next to the most beautiful girl in the world, maintaining my gentlemanly decorum. Think what we can accomplish in our years together if we can keep up the pace.