by M. Sembera
With a disappointed expression, she stressed, "I want him to accept my apology."
Giving her a strange look, I suggested, "Maybe you should 'hope' he accepts your apology."
Shaking her head and looking at the ground, Charlotte shared, "I need him to forgive me."
As I nodded at her, I shared, "You apologized, now you have to give him time to forgive you."
Scowling at me she stomped off into the garage.
Thinking there was more to this than just an apology, I followed her.
"What's the real problem?" I questioned.
Appearing as though she was about to cry, Charlotte explained, "I feel bad...on the inside."
"I understand that but," I started before she shouted, "No you don't!"
Giving her a 'remember who you're talking to glare', I replied, "I bet I do."
With a huff she sat down on a table in the garage and shared, "We didn't have sex." As I scowled at her confused, she explained, "We were going to but y'all got there right before... We didn't."
Relieved but still confused, I asked, "Why wouldn't I understand that?"
"William's a virgin," she replied before waiting for the look of shock to wear off of my face and continuing to say, "Not only did I lie to him, I ruined what was supposed to be his first time. He's not like his brother. He was waiting for the right girl and he thought I was..."
Placing my hand on her shoulder, I imagined she did feel pretty bad on the inside.
Back to my original plan for our meeting today, I explained how my routines gave me a sense of calm and control. She seemed completely on board until I mentioned making her bed.
"No, I won't," she snapped.
Shaking my head at her, I fussed, "Seriously Charlotte, I think you can make your own bed."
Crossing her arms tight against her chest, she assured, "I can't." As I stared at her, she lowered her voice to a whisper and shared, "I won't do it right and then I'll get punished."
Something in her eyes told me more than her words as I suggested, "Maybe a good step for you is to realize you're not where you used to be. This is a different time and place and nothing will happen to you."
A panicky, "No," came before she hopped off of the table and started to walk away.
"You know, you have all these people that want to help you. Emerson, Amila and even William said you were worth helping and you won't even help yourself," I fussed pushing her to make the step.
Walking into the house, Charlotte didn't say another word to me before slamming the back door behind herself.
On the way home, all I could think about was the damn bathtub. Knowing something is over logically, doesn't erase the memory. I was right in what I told Charlotte. Amila and Emerson would never punish her for making her bed wrong and certainly not the way she was accustom to. By the time I made it home I considered taking my own advice. Until I was standing in my bathroom, at that moment I realized, I was nothing more than a hypocrite.
21
Family
My day started out by leaving Sophia a voicemail before heading to work. When I arrived at work, I decided it was best to stay the whole day. There was some guilt in bailing on my job the last two days. In all the years I worked at JPT Financial, I only missed four days and that was because I had the flu and Mr. Thomas sent me home, claiming I would contaminate the entire office. It was time for me to get back on track and treat my day like just another day at work.
Call after call came through as I forwarded a few, scheduled appointments and pulled up basic account information for clients. When my phone finally stopped ringing for more than a few minutes, I pulled a notebook out of my purse and started working on more steps and a list of questions for Charlotte.
While making my list, I quickly covered what I was writing with my arm when Jackson tapped on the edge of my desk. Looking up, I saw him smile wide to reveal a cough drop between his top and bottom teeth before he winked at me and continued into his office. Rolling my eyes, I shook my head with a slight laugh.
I sat at my desk for a moment before deciding Jackson and I weren't beyond repair. Starting to get up, I was going to go in his office and ask him to come by my house after the rec center when my phone rang.
"JPT Financial," I answered before Amila's voice was on the other end, saying, "Ren."
"Hey," I replied before asking, "Is everything okay?"
Sniffling before she spoke, Amila shared, "Charlotte is suspended for that fight but we were making her get up anyway and do chores because she's grounded. She didn't come out of her room this morning. When I went to see why she wasn't up, I found her in the closet.
Waiting for Amila to finish, I thought please don't let my pushing her have pushed her over the edge.
"What did y'all talk about yesterday?" she questioned.
As my chest grew tight I replied, "I set up a routine for her and..." before she broke in saying, "Ren, she hugged me."
With a huge sigh of relief, I asked, "Really?"
Choking up, she said, "I..I couldn't get her to come out. She just shook her head at me. Then, I noticed she made her bed. She's never done that before, so I told her she did a good job and she practically jumped out. She hugged me."
Feeling my eyes well up with tears, I replied, "That's good."
"In the two years we've had her, this is the first time she has showed anyone any type of affection," she shared before saying, "Ren, I know you're at work but I just had to tell you, whatever you're doing, it's working."
"Thank you for that," I appreciated before informing, "Oh, and I won't be by this evening. I'm having dinner at the Thomas' tonight."
Amila's tone changed as she asked, "Uh, how do you think that will go?"
Curious myself, I replied, "It should be fine."
With a little too much confidence, Amila responded, "I hope so."
"I have to get back to work but I will keep you posted."
After we hung up, I continued my daily routine with a sense of peace and a feeling of relief that Charlotte was on a good path.
~
I never made it into Jackson's office to invite him over. Thinking there was always tomorrow, not only were we swamped with calls, four clients came in and then Jackson had to leave because of some hang up at the bar.
Changing out of my work clothes, I threw on jeans and a sweater before walking a few houses down to the Thomas'.
Before I could knock on the door, Mr. Thomas opened it, saying, "Hey girl, I'm heading to pick up dinner."
Laughing a little because he still called me girl like I was young, I replied, "Okay."
When I walked inside, Mrs. Thomas greeted me with a smile.
"Did you walk down?" she asked.
I replied, "Yes ma'am," and her smile grew wider.
"How have you been," she questioned.
Wondering if she knew about Jackson moving out, I replied, "I'm doing okay."
She started to say something and stopped as we both turned to see Jacks walking in.
Jackson and I gave each other a strange look before I turned back to Mrs. Thomas.
"Mom," Jackson said in a gravely voice.
With a serious expression on her face she stated, "You two are going to sit down and talk to each other. I don't want to know what happened. The two of you need to work it out," before turning and walking out of the living room and into the den.
After staring at each other for a moment, I said, "You don't have to talk to me."
Shrugging, he replied, "Thank you for the cold medicine and stuff you left for me."
Nodding, I asked, "You sound rough, how do you feel?"
"Better," he answered before asking, "How are you?"
I started to answer when the front door flew open and Auggie stormed in, griping, "There you are."
Stunned to say the least, I took a few steps back.
Auggie appeared furious as he threw an envelope at my chest.
"What the hell man?" Jackson blurted as loud as
he could in his hoarse voice.
Reaching down, I picked up the envelope and asked, "What are you doing with this?"
Without answering me, he fussed, "You tell her to stay her ass away from my house and my brother!"
Narrowing my eyes at him, I questioned, "Why do you have his letter?"
"What is going on?" Jackson broke in just as his mom came in asking the same thing.
Auggie focused on Jackson for a moment, saying, "You need to keep your wife in check."
Mrs. Thomas quickly snapped, "Augustus!"
Glancing at her, Auggie looked at me and said, "You tell her, I'm not above calling the law on her for breaking and entering if she pulls another stunt like that."
"I'm the one that put the letter in his room," I snapped.
Shaking his head at me with an angry sound, Auggie griped, "Oh, so you're helping her ruin my brother's life?"
Trying to keep control of myself with Mrs. Thomas standing right next to me, I corrected, "No, I am trying to keep Charlotte from ruining her's. William will be okay."
"I know he will 'cause I'm gonna make sure of it," he spouted.
"By stealing his letter?" I snapped.
"Where's your loyalty, Ren? Its bad enough you and Roberts kicked in my door. Now you're defending her fake ass apology?"
Jackson broke in, asking, "What?"
Auggie didn't give me a chance to answer as he fussed, "Oh yea, Saturday afternoon her and Roberts kicked in the front door of my house."
Giving him a dirty look, I said, "It's not like we didn't have anything better to do and you know why."
Jackson held his hand up and turned to me, asking, "That's where you were?"
Ignoring Auggie for the moment, I lowered my voice and shared, "Amila called right after you left. They didn't know where Charlotte was so Emerson and I found her."
"At his house?" he questioned, motioning to Auggie.
With a 'your mom doesn't need to know' expression, I whispered, "She was there with William."
Apparently the cold medicine was making Jackson slow because he blurted, "But she's only seventeen."
To make matter's worse, William walked in with Sophia and Ailin right behind him.
The four of us watched the three of them walk in. It hurt that Sophia was purposely looking away from me.
William stepped towards us, saying, "Auggie, I'm responsible for what happened."
In a gruff voice, Auggie replied, "No that little lyin' whore is."
In unison, William and I said, "Don't call her that."
"She knows what she did was wrong and she's trying to make it right," I assured.
Shaking his head at me, Auggie swore, "It's her or us."
"No its not, I asked Ren to help her," William announced.
Realizing I still had Charlotte's apology letter in my hand, I held it out to William, "Here."
"Damn it Ren," Auggie blurted before saying, "You're a traitor. I'm glad my dad isn't here to see this. It would break his heart."
Furious, I snapped, "Please, Gus wouldn't be here anyway, he'd be at the bar with Old Lou."
I heard Mrs. Thomas scold, "Ren," as Auggie clenched his teeth glaring at me, William looked at the ground and Ailin turned his head to the side.
Instantly remorseful, I wasn't making it up but hearing what came out of my mouth even hurt me a little.
Shaking my head, I swore, "I'm sorry...I didn't...I'm sorry."
"We're supposed to be family," Auggie uttered.
Taking a deep breath, I assured, "We are. I am so sorry I said that. I shouldn't have. I love this family. Charlotte has nothing to do with..."
"Family?" Sophia blurted.
I vaguely heard Mr. Thomas say, "I don't think I brought enough if everyone is staying," before Sophia continued, "You're gonna talk about family?"
Standing behind her, Ailin wrapped his arms around her, saying, "Not now Soph."
Jerking away from him, Sophia snapped, "Yes now, she wants to talk about how much she loves family then she can explain to everyone why she didn't tell me about mine."
"Sophia," Jackson warned before she looked at him, spouting, "Don't Sophia me, you knew too."
Tears filled my eyes and I thought I might throw up.
Sophia referring to me as if I was a stranger and calling Henley family broke my heart and made me sick all at the same time.
"Since you're so in love with family, why don't you tell everyone why you never told me Henley was my father," Sophia spewed at me.
Glancing around at everyone, I started finding it hard to breath as I mumbled, "I'm sorry."
They all stared at me waiting for a real answer, except for Mrs. Thomas. She was scowling as she looked away from me. I couldn't handle the moment. Feeling my hands shake, I rushed out of the Thomas' house.
With tunnel vision and ready to lose whatever was in my stomach, I staggered down to my house. Just as I was about to open my door, Jackson was next to me.
Wrapping his arms around me, his gravely voice was at a whisper, "It's gonna be okay."
Struggling against him, I argued, "No it won't."
Trying to keep his arms around me, he assured, "Yes it is, I'm here."
Pushing him away from me as hard as I could, I watched him stumble back as I shouted, "I want to be left alone. You can't make her stop hating me. Leave me alone."
Rushing inside, I locked Jackson out. Sliding to the floor against the door just in case he thought about using his key, I pulled my knees to my chest. I wrapped my arms around my legs. Crying, I knew everything that was good in my life had slipped away, crumbling into nothing.
22
Everyone Has a Past
After tossing and turning all night, I decided I would take the rest of the week off work. I wasn't technically sick unless you count the heart sickness I felt. I didn't want to see or deal with anyone. I needed time to myself to come to terms with the fact that my daughter hated me enough to out me in front of everyone and to deal with the loss of a family I dearly loved. I was going to be completely alone now, with the exception of Emerson and Amila.
I made a few calls before taking a shower and crawling back in bed. Jackson didn't argue or put up any kind of fight when I told him I wouldn't be back until Monday. Amila told me to feel better when I called to tell her I wouldn't be able to see Charlotte until next week and although no one answered when I called Sophia, I left a voicemail for her saying I was sorry for hurting her and that I love her.
~
Dragging myself out of bed when there was a knock at my front door, I glanced at the clock, wondering who would be stopping by at two in the afternoon. Slowly getting dressed before brushing my teeth and pulling my hair up, I figured if whoever it was, was still outside when I was done, it must be important.
Opening my front door, I was slightly confused to find Mr. Thomas on the other side of it.
"Can I come in?" he asked in a stern but caring tone.
Shrugging, I opened the door wider, saying, "Sure."
As Mr. Thomas made his way inside and sat down on my couch, I thought about how much Jackson looked like him. With the exception of their eyes, that Jackson clearly inherited from his mom, and their age, there wasn't much difference between Mr. Thomas and his son.
Sitting at the far end of my couch, I gave a weak smile, waiting to see what he wanted.
"Yesterday was interesting," he shared.
Nodding, I replied, "Yep," folding my arms against my chest.
"Suz is better at this than I am but..." he started before I interrupted, "But she doesn't have anything to say to me."
With a curious expression, he questioned, "Why would you think that?"
"Mr. Thomas, I don't want to pretend there's hope for us to all still be a family. I saw how everyone reacted yesterday," I answered.
Smiling at me, he imparted, "You don't have a lot of faith in people."
"I just recognize that someone like me doesn't belong with..." I said before Mr. Thomas
stopped me, scolding, "Girl, after all these years you just don't get it do you."
"We love you the same way when we went to bed last night as when we woke up yesterday morning," he insisted.
Shaking my head at him, I disagreed, "That's not possible."
Giving a loud sigh, he shook his head at me.
Mr. Thomas appeared to be in deep thought before smiling wide at me. Scowling at him, I couldn't understand why anything about this made him smile.
"You don't believe in yourself," he started before continuing to say, "We were surprised at what Sophia said yesterday, mostly because of how it came out. And how many things that never made sense suddenly made all kinds of sense."
Confused, I asked, "What do you mean?"
"Suz would kill me if she ever finds out I told you this but I'm going to tell you anyway."
Sitting up a little straighter, I waited for him to continue.
"You've heard the story of how we met but there are some things that always get left out," he said.
Shaking my head, I asked, "Like what?"
"She was engaged when we met for one thing," he revealed before sharing, "My parents planned my life out for me from private school to which college I was to attend. After college I knew I would be partnered at my father's firm, have a nice big house, money and everything else that my parents had. It seemed final, set in stone but I did not want to be like my father. He was cold and detached."
Nodding, I asked, "And that's why you left?"
"I wanted to see what was out there before I committed my life to what my parents wanted. My uncle called it 'sowing my wild oats'. They gave me a year with the understanding that I would return and resume my responsibilities."
"But you met Mrs. Thomas and stayed here," I said, recalling all the times I heard their story.
"Not exactly," he admitted before sharing, "When I wandered into The Bar that night, there was something about her. I didn't care that she was engaged, although her uncle Gus and cousins sure did," stopping to laugh, he continued, saying, "They literally kicked my ass out of The Bar that first night and the next night also."