The Love Resort

by Faith Bleasdale

‘Was embellished?’ Ed raised an eyebrow.

  ‘Total crap. Todd and Katie barely said two words to each other and although she tried her best, he didn’t go near her.’

  ‘How strange for newlyweds.’

  ‘That’s what I thought.’

  ‘Maybe you should be a writer; all that stuff about gazing into each other’s eyes, jumping across the table, very imaginative.’ Ed laughed; he imagined Lily’s work going straight into Anne-Marie’s book.

  ‘Well, I guessed that she’d probably kill me if I told her the truth.’

  ‘Of course, it would have been your fault. Well, at least my subjects behaved the way she wanted. Well, pretty much. Lee wasn’t exactly romantic, more lecherous really.’

  ‘Oh, really? Well, you made him so like a true Romeo.’

  ‘Umm, maybe you weren’t the only one stretching the truth slightly.’ He winked at her, and patted her on the bottom.

  12

  Every week, a special barbecue is held for the guests.* Enjoy a beautiful Caribbean evening with delectable food and, of course, your loved one. A live steel band provides the entertainment, playing love songs to get you in the mood for love! We look forward to seeing you there.

  Guest Handbook

  *The barbecue is held every Sunday evening outside the main restaurant. It is part of your all-inclusive package. If it rains then it will be moved to the ballroom.

  *

  ‘I’m glad you’re all here.’ Anne-Marie looked at Ed, Lily and Abigail as they sat in the office. ‘I feel that we are heading in the right direction.’

  ‘With the book?’ Abigail asked.

  ‘Yes, yes! It’s all going splendidly, but I need to outline tonight’s plan.’ Ed groaned involuntarily. ‘What was that Ed?’

  ‘Nothing, darling, just a touch of indigestion, that’s all,’ he grimaced, worried about what his wife had in store for him.

  ‘Tonight, I have arranged for Lily and myself to dine with Todd and Katie on the premise of discussing the publicity arrangements.’

  Ed held back another groan. That meant another night with him watching the competition winners. And another night without Lily.

  ‘Of course, if we’re dining with them, we can’t really take notes. I know, I’ll use my Dictaphone.’

  ‘Are you sure?’ Lily’s eyes were wide.

  ‘Yes, darling, don’t you think that it might be too risky?’ Ed suggested. He knew that spying on them was wrong, but taping them—whatever next?

  ‘Oh, don’t be silly. No one will find out,’ Abigail stated.

  ‘Thank you, Abigail, you’re right as always,’ Anne-Marie smiled.

  Ed couldn’t believe how far they were going for the as yet unwritten book.

  ‘So that brings me to you two,’ Anne-Marie continued.

  ‘Us?’ Ed shuddered as he looked at Abigail.

  ‘Yes. Now you two will have to go to the romantic barbecue tonight and watch our competition winners.’

  ‘You want me to go?’ Abigail sounded as horrified as Ed felt.

  ‘Of course, darling, I can’t possibly expect Ed to be able to gather information on them all. Not at an event like that. I mean, we were lucky they dined together last night, in a way, although that didn’t show too much romance, but tonight they might not be in a group. You two will have to ensure that you spend time watching each of the couples, then report back. Now, do you want Dictaphones?’

  ‘No thanks. I’d rather collect information and make notes,’ Ed said quickly. At least he wouldn’t have to spend all evening with Abigail; they could split up.

  ‘So what time do I have to be there?’ Abigail asked, annoyed, which gave Ed a small amount of satisfaction.

  ‘At seven. Ed will come and collect you. This is all going to be worth it.’

  ‘For the book,’ Abigail finished.

  *

  ‘So you’re sure they’re all going?’

  ‘Yes, Anne-Marie, I went round and spoke to them myself.’ Lily smiled as her boss handed her a drink. She sat on the sofa in Anne-Marie’s house. It seemed a lamp was shining in her eyes, she felt as if she was being interrogated. Perhaps she was getting too paranoid.

  ‘Good, and what were they doing today?’ Anne-Marie’s eyes narrowed. Lily took out her notebook.

  ‘Well, Emily and Jimmy had lunch at the Coral Restaurant—they missed breakfast—and then they spent the afternoon in their room. That’s where I spoke to them. They were sunbathing on the terrace.’

  ‘Um, so they spent the day gazing into each other’s eyes.’

  ‘I guess so.’ Lily raised an eyebrow. They were doing what normal people did on holiday, as far as she was concerned. ‘Anyway, I saw Lee and Carla on the beach. They too missed breakfast, and they spent all the rest of the day doing water sports. They’re both quite sporty, actually. Carla said that she was trying to exhaust herself because she had trouble sleeping last night.’

  ‘Right. So they engaged in romantic water sports—um, yes, I think I can use that.’ Lily had no idea how—it sounded obscene, more like something you’d find in a porn novel than a romantic one.

  ‘Tim and Thea slept nearly all day, according to Thea. I found them at the burger bar. Thea was a bit annoyed at wasting a day, Tim told her that they had ages left so not to be so silly. They said they were going to take a walk round the resort, to explore, before getting changed for tonight.’

  ‘More romantic strolls. How lovely. How appropriate.’

  ‘That’s about all for now.’

  ‘Good work, Lily. Of course I know you gave me the shortened version, so you can fill in the details in your typed report.’

  ‘Oh, hi, Lily,’ Ed said, as he entered the room. Lily wanted to swoon. He was so handsome.

  ‘Ed, how are you?’

  ‘Just about to go and get Abigail.’ His look told Lily all she needed to know.

  ‘Right, now don’t forget, I really need some romantic dialogue,’ Anne-Marie launched in. ‘Remind Abigail of that, although she’ll probably already know. Now off you go, you don’t want to be late.’

  *

  ‘Abigail.’

  ‘Ed.’

  ‘We’d better get going.’ Ed knew there was no option but to see this through. ‘At first I thought that perhaps we should split up, but then I thought that we’d look more conspicuous on our own. So I think we should stick together, ensuring we have equal time with each couple.’

  ‘Your wife has you well trained.’ The disdain was evident in her voice, and Ed wanted to put her straight, but he held his tongue.

  ‘Well, anything for the book, Abigail,’ he said sarcastically. She shot him a dirty look. Tonight was going to be anything but fun.

  They reached the terrace where the barbecue was beginning to liven up. A long table was laid out, ready for the sumptuous feast that the chefs were preparing. The steel drum band was setting up, and staff were running around all over the place. A few couples had arrived and were drinking and eyeing the food greedily.

  ‘Christ, Anne-Marie was right about one thing, there’s a lot of fat couples here.’

  ‘Abigail, keep your voice down. We don’t want the guests to hear you.’

  ‘No, of course not. But no wonder she doesn’t feel inspired to write.’

  ‘Right, shall I get you a drink?’

  ‘I think you’d better. Before your guests mistake me for part of the feast.’ Ed tried to give her a withering look but he couldn’t. Even after all these years she terrified him. He went to get two drinks, spotting Thea and Tim by the bar.

  ‘Hi, glad you made it.’ He felt stupid.

  ‘Well, we didn’t have far to come,’ Tim replied, picking up two drinks and draining one before starting on the other.

  ‘Well, I hope to see you later,’ Ed said pleasantly. He returned to Abigail and handed her a glass of wine. ‘Our first couple are here.’ He gestured to them.

  ‘Right then, we’d better get to work.’ Abigail looked less than thrilled bu
t they made their way to the drinks table, draining their glasses as cover.

  ‘Tim, perhaps we should move away from the drinks table,’ Thea suggested. ‘Hello,’ she said.

  Ed and Abigail spun round, and Ed noticed Abigail turn red.

  ‘Oh, hi again. Just getting a drink.’ Ed took Abigail’s arm and moved her away slightly. ‘We don’t want to be too obvious,’ he whispered.

  ‘Tim, did you hear me? I said we should move away. Perhaps get nearer to the food. When it’s ready we want to be at the front of the queue.’

  ‘We do? Oh, in that case, let me just get a couple more drinks. Actually, this is silly. I’ll just take the bottle.’ Tim picked up a newly opened bottle of wine, and clutched it to his chest.

  Abigail and Ed didn’t move. He started arranging glasses and edging nearer.

  ‘You can’t do that,’ Thea hissed.

  ‘Why ever not?’ Tim asked.

  ‘Ed,’ Abigail said. He put his fingers to his lips; he missed what Thea replied.

  ‘Who do you think you are? My wife?’ Tim asked loudly.

  ‘No, Tim, I’m your girlfriend,’ she stated. They moved away.

  ‘Why did you interrupt that?’ Ed asked.

  ‘Because, Ed, in case you hadn’t noticed, we’re supposed to be collecting material for your wife’s book and that wasn’t material.’

  ‘Oh, yes. I guess listening to other people’s conversations is a bit addictive.’

  ‘Yes, but let’s hope, for both our sakes, that the conversation gets a little more romantic.’

  Emily and Jimmy sat down at a table with their food. Ed and Abigail stood fairly near, holding full plates in an attempt to blend in.

  ‘You can’t possibly eat all that,’ Emily said.

  ‘I’m going to give it a bloody good go.’ Jimmy rubbed his stomach.

  ‘Well, don’t blame me if you get indigestion.’

  ‘Oh, bloody hell,’ Abigail said. ‘What the hell is this?’

  ‘Shush,’ Ed hissed. ‘Listen, they’re normal couples, we can’t expect them to spout lines of dialogue that can go straight into the novel.’

  ‘We can’t?’

  ‘Do you and Philip speak like that to each other?’

  ‘We barely speak, unless it’s about business.’

  Ed was a little surprised by the revelation. ‘Right...well, my point is that we can’t expect them to be romantic all the time. My wife does, but then she doesn’t always live in the real world.’

  ‘You can say that again.’

  Once more, Ed was stunned. He turned his attention back to the couple.

  ‘Well, this food is almost as delicious as you,’ Jimmy said. Ed and Abigail smiled at each other.

  ‘Oh, Jimmy, you softy. Blimey, did you have to have that much garlic?’

  *

  ‘So, I’m thinking that we’re not going to get much out of tonight.’

  ‘Abigail, can I ask you something?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Can you write?’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Well, it’s just that you know how Anne-Marie is, and although this spying lark has provided us with material we can use, she wants more. So to keep her happy, we sort of...’

  ‘Embellish?’

  ‘That’s a good way of putting it.’

  ‘Oh, isn’t that the last couple over there? Let’s see what they have to say.’

  Lee and Carla stood by a gazebo; they looked as if they were surveying the scene.

  ‘Well, babes, are you sure you want to go to this?’ Lee asked. Ed and Abigail had snuck behind the gazebo.

  ‘It might be fun. The food smells divine.’

  ‘So do you.’

  ‘Thank you. Would you rather have a quiet dinner somewhere?’

  ‘Well, that band sounds awful.’

  ‘Who’d have thought that “My Heart Will Go On” could sound like that?’ They laughed.

  Ed had to agree. The poor band had to play arrangements that murdered the most popular love songs on a weekly basis.

  ‘And there’s no bloody talent here.’

  ‘Lee,’ Carla admonished.

  Ed raised his eyebrow at Abigail. When the coast was clear they emerged.

  ‘Right, so how about I go back and start making shit up?’ Abigail suggested.

  ‘I think that’s a brilliant idea,’ Ed replied.

  *

  Lily and Anne-Marie sat on the terrace with Todd.

  ‘I’m sure she’ll be here in a minute, she’s just getting ready,’ Todd said.

  Lily kept quiet. They’d been waiting for half an hour and her stomach was threatening to rumble.

  ‘Oh, Todd darling, don’t worry. When you’re famous, time means nothing.’ Anne-Marie smiled broadly.

  ‘Tell me, Anne-Marie, where do you get your inspiration from?’ Todd asked.

  ‘Everywhere. Love is all around.’

  Lily tried hard not to laugh.

  ‘It is. You know your last book, For the Love of a Great Man?’

  ‘You read my last book?’

  ‘Oh, I’ve read all your books.’ Todd and Anne-Marie smiled at each other. ‘In the last one, I thought that your hero, Brett, was the perfect man.’

  Lily gawped.

  ‘What do you mean?’ Anne-Marie asked.

  ‘I mean, that when I play a hero, I will use your character as my inspiration,’ Todd gushed.

  ‘Oh dear Todd, you are so lovely.’

  Katie emerged just as Lily thought she couldn’t take any more of the mutual appreciation.

  ‘You look breathtaking,’ Todd said, as his wife sat down. Lily had to agree. No wonder she was so late. Wearing a long pink dress, she almost resembled Anne-Marie, although she didn’t have any ruffles. She was a tasteful version of her.

  ‘Thank you, darling.’ She kissed Todd. Lily looked away; Katie was eating him up.

  Todd pulled back. ‘Katie, we have company.’

  ‘Oh, I’m sorry,’ she giggled. ‘I just can’t resist him.’

  ‘Shall we eat?’ Lily suggested.

  13

  Let Your Relationship Flourish

  Day-to-day mundane matters can get in the way of romance. Bills, car trouble, house problems, your work life taking up too much time can all affect your relationship. Well, one thing we guarantee is that there are no mundane matters at The Love Resort. There is nothing but romance to get in your way!

  Recapture the romance your relationship used to enjoy, or simply enhance it. Your relationship cannot fail to improve here.* The only thing that matters here is Love.

  Official Love Resort Brochure

  *If for some reason your relationship is not improved by your stay in The Love Resort, the owners of The Love Resort are not liable in any way.

  *

  ‘Oh, Lily, of course I don’t expect you to sit in the bushes all day. You’ve got work to do.’ Anne-Marie smiled. ‘We can’t keep an eye on them all the time. I’ve got your information, and with last night, which was wonderful, and the interview, I might even have enough. But, if we need more, we need more. We’ll address it then.’

  ‘Of course, Anne-Marie.’ Lily sighed. The woman was insane. Lily had woken early to get the Todd and Katie tape typed up. The whole situation was absurd, and Lily wasn’t sure how long she’d be able to go along with it. She also didn’t believe that Anne-Marie would leave it at that. She knew they didn’t have a book’s worth of material, or anywhere near that yet.

  ‘Also, we don’t need to watch the competition winners today as tonight we have the welcome dinner arranged. That will give us an excellent opportunity to observe. I’ll use my Dictaphone again. And Todd and Katie are going out on a private yacht today. They’re doing a tour of the islands and won’t be back until late. I thought about it, but there’s nowhere to stow you away.’

  Lily was lost for words as she busied herself shuffling papers.

  *

  ‘Did you sleep well?’ Lee asked as he sat up.


  Carla was pouring herself a cup of coffee. She turned round. Lee’s hair was stuck to his head and his eyes looked as if they were reluctant to open.

  ‘I think I might have done but I remember being awake quite a lot. This jet lag is a right pain. I’ll probably only start sleeping properly when it’s time to go home.’

  ‘Oh. I slept like a log.’

  ‘Must have been all that wine you were knocking back.’

  ‘Hey, I didn’t drink that much.’ Lee stretched and yawned. He looked so sleepy and sexy.

  ‘I’m starving, how about you shower and then take me to breakfast?’

  ‘OK. Give me half an hour, and a cup of that coffee.’ He got out of bed, kissed her and took the coffee cup from her, before disappearing into the bathroom.

  Carla went to the wardrobe and opened it. Her clothes were all hung up neatly; Lee hadn’t unpacked yet. She decided to dress and then unpack for him. Enjoying playing the role of ‘wifey’, she picked out a pair of shorts and a T-shirt and lay them on the bed, along with some old trainers. Lee wasn’t a sandal kind of guy, something she was pleased about.

  ‘What’s all this?’ he asked as he emerged from the shower.

  ‘I told you I was starving; I’m trying to hurry things up.’

  ‘Cool, babes.’ Lee dressed as Carla waited for him out on the terrace. She looked at the sea view, still barely able to believe that she was there. The smell of the heat, the sea and the gardens all mixed together was intoxicating. She was ready to begin a new phase of her life; a new phase with Lee. They’d graduated, they were taking their first holiday together and they were in a luxury resort. Everything was perfect.

  ‘My God, look at this!’ Lee exclaimed as they surveyed the breakfast buffet in front of them.

  ‘I have never seen such a feast,’ Carla replied, delighted. ‘If I’d known it was this good I’d have got up yesterday.’

  ‘I tell you what, I’ll go and order eggs and you get juice. Then we’ll meet by the bacon in five minutes.’ He winked and squeezed her bottom.

  ‘Deal.’ She felt like a child in a toy shop. Carla loved breakfast, always had, it was her favourite meal of the day and here she had a breakfast fit for a king. She piled a plate full of pastries, and took it back to their table where a silver pot of coffee sat waiting for them. She then went to her rendezvous with Lee and the bacon.