Anaconda: A Sexy Romantic Comedy

by Landish, Lauren

  Mindy arches an eyebrow and lifts my chin with her finger. “We’ve been friends for years, Bri. Don't lie to me. You don’t have the skills for it.”

  She scowls at me for a long time, and I try to scowl back, denying everything before I nod and sigh.

  “Yes, he’s been on my mind all day. But I’m trying to—”

  “What the fuck,” Mindy mutters, cutting me off as she stares straight past me. “The nerve of that son of a—”

  I turn around, and my heart freezes in my chest as red pulses of rage start to fill my vision.

  How dare he!

  Gavin, looking as sexy as always, walks in with the same blonde bimbo at his side. She’s dressed in a super-sexy, clingy red dress, black heels, and a black belt at her waist. Leslie Hart might as well have You Know You Want This written on her the way she’s dressed.

  I’m too shocked to move or do anything. He must be coming to torment me and make fun of me for being stupid. He’s just here to flaunt his A-list whore in front of my eyes.

  “Coffee shop’s closed,” Mindy tries to say, her voice dripping acid, before she adds under her breath, “especially to cheap dyed blondes.”

  “No, it’s not,” Gavin says. He has a determined look in his eyes, but when he looks at me, I’m not sure what’s going on behind his baby blues. “It says open until eight.”

  “Well then, I’m on break,” Mindy says, not backing down in front of the man who’s twice her size. “Come back in an hour. Preferably when we’re not here.”

  Gavin’s voice is firm, unmoved by Mindy's frigid tone. “Good thing I’m not here to see you then.”

  Ignoring Mindy, Gavin turns to me. “Brianna—”

  “Don't even try it,” I tell him, poking him in the chest. “You have some nerve coming in here with her!”

  “Listen, Leslie and I aren't together.”

  I scoff. “Please. Let me guess, you guys are just friends?”

  “Gavin is telling the truth,” Leslie cuts in, placing a hand on his arm. “We’re not together. We’re just professional acquaintances. That’s it.”

  I glare at her hand on his arm, my nostrils flaring. Seeing my fury, Leslie jerks it away as if she’s touching a hot stove.

  Gavin and Leslie exchange glances, and she mutters something under her breath that I don’t quite hear. I’m sure she’s insulting me, and whatever she’s saying, it makes me even madder.

  I'm about to go off on her, but before I can reply, a gruff but falsely-accented voice comes from the back room. “What on earth is going on here?”

  Vandenburgh. Great, just what I need right now. He waddles out, his face pinched and his glasses pushed halfway down his nose. “Miss Sayles, what are you doing in uniform? And why is it that you’re spending all this time talking to guests anyway? You’re a maid, not a concierge.”

  I really am not in the mood. In fact, Vandenburgh can kiss my ass. I turn to him, about to open my lips to tell him what he can go do with himself, when Leslie suddenly lets out a surprised gasp.

  “Oh, my goodness, Montclaire, it’s you!” Leslie suddenly exclaims with an overly dramatic, stuffy British accent. I think she might have gotten it from Masterpiece Theater or something. She stares at Vandenburgh with wide eyes, leaning over just enough to give him a glance at the valley between her huge tits.

  “Huh?” Vandenburgh asks, thrown off guard. “Miss Hart, what are you . . .”

  Leslie walks over to Vandenburgh, a huge smile on her face. “Oh, don’t act like you don't know it’s me, my dear. We’ve been trading correspondence for months. I just didn’t realize I’d finally get to meet you. Why didn’t you say something? We’ve been voice chatting for a long time now.”

  “We have?” Vandenburgh says with confusion, flushing bright pink as Leslie pushes her boobs up against his shoulder and rubs his cheek.

  Leslie smacks her forehead, raising her eyes to the ceiling. “Yes, darling! Don’t you remember?” She smiles sweetly and looks down at Vandenburgh's nether regions. “You said you needed a beard so that your peers wouldn't know your little secret.”

  Leslie’s act is so smooth, I almost believe her. Behind me, Mindy giggles a little. If there’s a man who deserves to be humiliated, it’s Vandenburgh.

  Vandenburgh still looks stunned. “I did . . .?” he says, before scowling. “No, I didn’t! What are you on, Miss Hart?”

  Leslie laughs, squeezing Vandenburgh’s cheek. “Oh, Vandypoo! It’s me, Morticia, my love. And yes, you did. I think you’re just delirious and it’s time to take the medicine you told me about.”

  She wraps her arm around Vandenburgh, turning him toward the front door of the coffee shop. “Now, let’s go get you a bath and get you in a diaper, just like you like.”

  She leads Vandenburgh from the room while he sputters, still off guard.

  “You’re totally insane!”

  Leslie leans over and kisses him on the top of his head, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen a man turn that red that quickly in my life. “No, that’s just you hallucinating, darling. Come along now, I have your powder and pacifier ready.”

  The two disappear from view, Vandenburgh still not sure what to do. The glass door closes, and Gavin grins at me while Mindy laughs so hard I think she’ll crack a rib. “Now do you believe me?”

  I cross my arms across my chest. “That doesn't mean anything,” I say stubbornly, but my defenses are crumbling. I highly doubt Leslie would’ve done that if they were here to be spiteful. She just saved me from getting fired.

  “I don't know, Bri,” Mindy says, still gasping. “To get that close to Vandenburgh with that little act? She’s got to be telling the truth.”

  Gavin mouths a thank you to Mindy as my expression softens. “Now will you listen to me?”

  I stare at him long and hard. It’s hard to just drop my anger in an instant. But finally, I nod my head. “Two minutes.”

  Gavin takes a deep breath, and what comes out is a bit of a rush of words, as if he’s really being timed. “What you saw that night wasn’t what you think. Leslie was just there to find out what was going on with me because I couldn’t deliver my lines.”

  I stare at him, letting it process, seeing the sincerity in his eyes.

  “It was because of you,” he confesses.

  I gape. “Me?”

  Gavin nods and reaches for my hands, and I find myself holding his fingers as he looks at me, his eyes burning with intensity as he speaks. “I can't even think without you near. The only way I can seem to get a halfway convincing line out is to imagine I’m talking to you and not Leslie.”

  I’m breathless at the conviction in his words, my heart racing like a track horse. I would’ve never known.

  “And lately,” he says, swallowing, “I don't even think I can breathe without you.” By now, sweat has formed on his forehead, and as prideful as he is, I know it’s taken a lot for him to admit something like this. Especially in front of Mindy.

  All the doubts I feel fall away like leaves in the wind as I stare into the sincerity in his eyes, my heart feeling like it’s bathing in warmth.

  “Well isn’t that sweet,” Mindy mutters in awe, shaking her head. “Bri’s pussy must be slammin’.”

  I’m so enthralled with Gavin’s gaze that I can't even rebuke Mindy for her crassness.

  Gavin takes me in his arms, pulling me close and putting his hands around my waist. “Can you forgive me?”

  This close up, I can feel the warmth radiating from his hard body. I know I should tell him that I need time to think this over. But we don't have time. He’ll be gone in a few days. And I don't want to waste another second being mad at him.

  If I only have a few days with Gavin, then I’m going to use every second of them.

  I put my arms around his neck and stand on my tiptoes, pulling him down into a soft kiss that is electric, not because it’s arousing, but because there’s emotion behind it that I never thought I’d feel.

  “There’s nothing to
forgive,” I breathe softly, looking into his eyes. “Let me change clothes, and then I want you to come with me.”

  “Where?” he asks, smiling. His beautiful eyes seem to pierce right through to my heart.

  “To see the rest of me,” I reply softly.

  Chapter 20

  Gavin

  “Turn right,” Brianna says.

  I do as she says, turning the Lotus at a corner and glancing over at her, my heart pounding in my chest.

  She’s changed out of her hotel uniform, and while it’s nowhere near as exposing as the simple sundress she wore on our park date, I’m still enthralled by the simple t-shirt and jeans that she’s wearing. “Up there by the gas station.”

  After we made up in the coffee shop, I was a little surprised when Brianna explained what she meant by seeing the rest of her. I almost expected her to ask me to take her back up to my suite. I guess my mind was in the gutter.

  Going to her apartment probably would’ve scared me twenty-four hours ago. But now I’m excited to see this side of her, the real woman behind the eyes. “Okay, now what?”

  “It’s the brown apartment building up there on the right,” Brianna says, pointing. I take a look at the building, and my first thought—it’s a dump. Even back in my college days when I would visit friends or teammates who had apartments off campus, none of them lived in a place like this. It looks like the sort of place where you carry a BB gun to shoot the rats on a daily basis.

  I glance over at Brianna. “So this is where you live?”

  Her cheeks burn, and I realize that I may have hurt her feelings a little even if I didn’t mean to. “Sad, isn’t it?” she says in a melancholy tone, looking down in her lap. “I’m sure it’s totally beneath anything that you’ve lived in, and that’s why I didn’t want to have you drop me off here after our date.”

  I shake my head and reach over to put a comforting hand on her thigh. “I’m not going to judge. I’m glad that you feel comfortable enough to show me where you live.”

  “You know, Gavin, you can say all the nice things you want to try and make me feel better, but the fact is . . . this place is a dump. And I don’t know if you’ll understand.”

  I rub her knee, partly to reassure her and partly because it’s one hell of a knee. “I might be spoiled, but I’m not irredeemable. I want to genuinely get to know you, every part of you.”

  She blushes, and I get out of the car before her nervousness makes her ask me to take her someplace else. I help her out, realizing that this apartment has probably never seen a red Lotus sports car in front. I make sure I lock it before I gesture toward the building. “Lead on, please.”

  It’s hard for me to keep from staring at her ass as she walks up the stairs in front of me, but when she stops halfway up and glances back, she smiles. “See anything you like?”

  I nod, flashing her a boyish grin, my cock twitching in my pants. “Maybe.”

  Brianna laughs, blushing a little. “You’re good at giving a hell of an ego boost, that’s for sure.”

  We make our way up the rest of the stairs, and she leads me down the concrete walkway which has lines of laundry strung up on one side all the way to the end of the building. Brianna looks back at me nervously as she takes out her keys and puts one of them in the lock. “Last chance. If you want, we can go back to the suite instead of putting you through a night of torture.”

  I shake my head and put my hand over hers on the key and doorknob. “No. I want to see you.”

  She stares at me long and hard, biting her lip nervously. Finally, she shakes her head and then turns the key in the lock. “All right. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

  There’s a muted click, but instead of opening, Brianna has to lower her shoulder, shoving her way into the apartment. I help a little, and after a small fight, the door springs free and we step inside.

  The first thing that hits me when I walk in is the smell. It’s wet, like the place hasn’t been aired out in a while, and it’s musty, almost dank. If I didn’t know better, I’d almost say it smells moldy.

  It’s dark and I can hardly see. I hear footsteps cross the room, and a single lightbulb comes on, casting faint illumination around the place.

  Brianna spreads her arms out wide to either side, a grimace on her face. “Welcome to my home.”

  I suck in a deep breath. What a shit hole. It kills me that she lives like this.

  The paint is peeling off the walls in places and the drywall is water-spotted in others, saggy and soft looking. The carpet is ragged, so threadbare that I can see the base material in spots. The furniture is all secondhand, and her table is being held up by a chunk of scrap wood on one side. Her couch looks like it’ll collapse if I sit on it, and in the corner . . . shit, I don’t want to even know what that is.

  “See?” Bri says, her voice shaky as she sees the shock on my face. “I told you. Better than the White House.”

  I grin. At least she’s keeping her sense of humor. “I had no idea.”

  Anger courses through my stomach. Whoever runs this place is a true slumlord.

  “This is why I spend so much time at the hotel,” Bri admits. “I hate being here. And I’m ashamed to have anyone over. I think you've joined a group of five people I’ve actually let inside.”

  Her voice firms, and I see the strength that is deep inside her come out. “But it won’t be for long. I’m determined to make my way out of here. I’ve already picked out a nice little apartment on the west side. One with two bedrooms. I’m just waiting until I graduate and get something more long-term than working for Vandenburgh.”

  I walk over and sit down on the couch, my fears of collapse forgotten, and gesture Bri over. She bites her lower lip as she comes and sits beside me. As soon as her ass settles into the seat, my nose is tickled by a plume of dust.

  I try to hold it in, but I sneeze, twice, my head rocketing forward to spray hard as I try to hold it back. “Sorry.”

  “Bless you,” she says softly. She grabs a box of tissues off her rickety coffee table and hands it to me. “I haven’t been able to dust in a while. I’m only part time, but I’ve been picking up extra shifts where I can while school is on break. You would think being a maid, I would keep it cleaner, but it’s hard. I swear, the dust just grows in this place.”

  I sniff as another sneeze threatens. I gain control, shaking my head. “God damn.”

  “Yeah,” Bri says. “Exactly.”

  My eyes are watery, and I have to wipe them with a tissue before I can focus on her. “How long have you lived here?”

  “Since my parents left. When they split and I chose not to go with either of them, I had to find a place to live since they sold our home. At the time, I had a little savings from the odd jobs I worked in high school, and my Dad, as a sign of his generosity, gave me a thousand bucks and said he’d cosign since I was under eighteen at the time.”

  “Why put yourself through that?” I ask, still not understanding. Sure, she has college, but she’s smart enough to get into anywhere, I’m sure of it. “Why stay here when you could have gone with them and lived a better life?”

  Brianna’s given me quite a few looks in our short time together, but for the first time, she gives me a look that makes me feel dumb. “A better life? Ha, I could argue that point. Mom gets on my last nerve, Gavin. I was never good enough for her. Daddy wasn’t either. It would only be a day at our new place before we’d be at each other’s throats.”

  “What about your father? Why not move with him then?” I ask.

  She shakes her head. “Bless his heart, he has tried his best. He’s rebuilt his life a lot too. But I wouldn't be able to deal with having a stepmother younger than me. I don’t blame him. I’ve Skyped with them both, and she does seem to love him, but still . . . no. It’s just too weird for me.”

  I shake my head, shocked. “But it seems like you would have just gone there for a little while, gotten yourself together, and left when the opportunity presented i
tself. Why stay here away from them?”

  Brianna sucks in a deep breath and looks around the shitty apartment. “I've thought about that, and I guess the truth is that I love this place. It’s the only place I’ve ever known. And it’s mine. It’s shit, but it’s shit that I’ve paid for with my own hard work. And the community is small and caring. I like being a part of it. Maybe someday, I can give back.”

  My heart tugs in my chest at her words and I stare at the earnest look on her face. She seems so pure. I hardly deserve someone like this. It makes it even worse that in a few days . . .

  My throat is tight as I say, “That is admirable. I respect that. I really do.”

  A blush comes to her cheeks and she looks away. “Thanks.”

  “You could’ve easily just gone with one of your parents and had a better life. Softer, at least.”

  She shakes her head. “My goals and ambitions must be boring and stupid to you. I’m sure you’re used to the big city life and have everything. The cars, the houses, any woman you want . . .”

  Not everything, my inner voice says. Not yet. She’s not yours yet.

  I clear my throat and shake my head. “Speaking from experience, none of that stuff means much. You can have all the money in the world, but it definitely doesn’t bring happiness. Brings a lot of leeches, but not happiness.”

  I sit back against the couch, fighting back another sneeze. “You know, when I came here, I never thought it, but a part of me thinks that I would be happier living in a place like this. Well, like this town, not like this apartment.”

  Brianna stares at me like I’m a two-headed dragon. “Really? That’s hard to believe.”

  I nod. “Really. Maybe I’ve had my fill. I don’t know. Sure, staying in the best hotels and having luxury homes and cars is nice, but there is a downside to it.”

  My voice drops, becoming grimmer than I’d like as I realize I’m fully exposing myself to Brianna, something I haven’t done with anyone before. Not to mention, I probably sound like an asshole who takes things for granted. “When I signed my rookie contract, I gave up any chance of having a private life. Every detail about me, flaws and all, is out there for the public to scrutinize. You’re dissected and judged, oftentimes before you even know what you’ve done wrong.”