Alice-Miranda at Sea

by Jacqueline Harvey

  'I can’t believe your brother was invited to that wedding without us,’ September Sykes whined as she sat up to rub suntan lotion on her overcooked shoulders. ‘And he wouldn’t even tell me where they were going. Said something about it being a secret to make sure that it was all private. Who wants to have a private wedding, anyway? I’d have sold the whole thing to Gloss and Goss magazine to pay for the honeymoon. Sloane? Are you even listening to me, Sloane?’ September growled as she glanced over at her daughter.

  Sloane, lying metres away on a matching sun lounge, rolled away from her mother and turned the music in her ears up louder. An unopened letter fell out of the magazine she was thumbing through. Addressed to ‘Miss Sloane Sykes, Villa Del Mar, Castelldefels, Spain’, the envelope, just like the two she’d received earlier in the month, felt like silk.

  Typical, Sloane had thought. She probably has her own silkworm factory just to provide her stationery.

  Sloane had been more than a little surprised to receive the first letter. It had sat under the jewellery box on her dressing table for a full week before she decided to open it. And when she did, it wasn’t at all what she had imagined. But then again, Alice-Miranda Highton-Smith-Kennington-Jones was hardly normal now, was she? Instead of the sound telling-off Sloane had expected, Alice-Miranda had prattled on about what a pity it was that she had left school and she was sure they could have worked things out with Miss Grimm and it really wasn’t Sloane’s fault and probably there were lots of circumstances that had contributed to her mother’s actions because grown-ups are so very complicated.

  Sloane was sorely tempted to tear it up right then and there, but something made her stop. Instead she put the letter in her top dresser drawer and wondered if she would hear from her again. And like clockwork, the following week another letter arrived. This one described the end-of-term activities and how well Sep was doing and that it was so lovely for Lucas to have such a good friend, seeing that he’d had rather a rough trot the past few years. She asked how Sloane was settling into her new school and if she was enjoying her life in the sun.

  Sloane’s nosey mother had missed seeing the first letter. Her father had picked up the mail that day, which was just as well. Sloane didn’t feel like being subjected to the Spanish Inquisition from her mother about why the little princess was writing to her. She’d successfully intercepted the second letter and now there was a third. Sloane slid off the sun lounge and sloped off into the garden.

  ‘Where are you going, Sloane?’ September demanded. ‘Can you pop inside and get Mummy some corn chips and dip? I’m a bit peckish.’

  Sloane ignored her mother and headed to the front steps of the villa. She would be safe there, seeing as just after they moved in September had seen a giant skink and run off screaming to the back of the house. Sloane told her mother that Spanish skinks were deadly (which of course they’re not) and that they only lived out the front of the house, closest to the ocean, hence her mother had steadfastly refused to go anywhere near the beach and spent her days reclining by the pool out the back.

  ‘So what news do you have for me this time, little girl?’ Sloane murmured while she slid her finger under the flap of the envelope. She then read the letter aloud.

  Dear Sloane,

  I hope that you are very well and enjoying life in Spain. It’s the final week of term and Miss Grimm has arranged a whole school working bee at Miss Hephzibah’s. The boys at Fayle are joining us and afterwards there is a huge picnic planned. As you can imagine, Mrs Smith has been cooking non-stop. She told me she’s making apple tarts and strawberry sponge cake and chocolate torte and that was just for starters.

  Sloane’s stomach grumbled. If there was one thing she did miss about her old school it was the delicious morning and afternoon teas.

  Miss Hephzibah’s house is coming along beautifully too. Daddy sent our builders over and they’ve already fixed the roof and I know Miss Hephzibah and your granny, Henrietta, have been making plans to turn part of the house into a training college for teachers. Miss Grimm and Professor Winterbottom are busy working out the curriculum and having interviews for new staff. And I can’t wait until the end of the week because we’re being whisked off to a secret location for Aunt Charlotte and Uncle Lawrence’s wedding. Sep is coming too, but I suppose you knew that already because Mummy would have had to check with your mother and father about him going. I’ve been asked to be a flower girl, which is terribly exciting. My dress is the most gorgeous shell-pink. I promise to send some photographs. If you have a spare minute I would love to hear your news.

  With all best wishes,

  Alice-Miranda

  Sloane tucked the letter back into the envelope.

  ‘As if I’d want to see your stupid photographs.’ She rolled her eyes. ‘And don’t expect to get any news from me anytime soon, you little twit.’

  But reading the letter gave Sloane a niggly twinge in her stomach. Her new school, though well-equipped, was not the same as Winchesterfield-Downsfordvale with its amazing facilities and clever teachers. She had no ear for languages and, truth be told, Sloane was finding it awfully hard to make any friends.

  Her thoughts were interrupted by an ear- piercing scream coming from the rear of the villa.

  ‘Help! Heeeeelp!’ September shrieked.

  She arrived to find her mother standing on her sun lounge, squealing like a stuck pig.

  ‘What’s the matter, Mother?’ Sloane asked.

  ‘There . . . down there . . . it’s a . . . a . . . skink,’ September held her hands over her eyes and shuddered.

  ‘Really? A skink?’ Sloane enquired, looking completely nonplussed.

  ‘You know they’re deadly, Sloane. If Mummy gets bitten, well, that’s it.’ September had now begun to cry.

  Sloane couldn’t help enjoying the scene in front of her. And she wasn’t keen to tell her mother the truth about the not-so-deadly Spanish skinks either.

  ‘I’ll get it,’ Sloane offered.

  ‘Oh, darling, be careful. I don’t know what I’d do if . . .’ Her mother’s voice trailed away.

  Sloane grabbed her towel from the recliner next to her mother’s and threw it over the unsuspecting reptile. She scooped the wriggling lizard into a ball and promptly walked around to the front of the villa where she released the frightened beast into the grass.

  ‘Off you go.’ Sloane gave him a grin as he shot off under the villa. ‘I know, she’s terrifying.’

  Poolside, September Sykes checked carefully before she climbed down from the safety of her sun lounge. She raced across the hot tiles into the kitchen, slamming the terrace door behind her.

  ‘Well, that’s no use.’ She opened the pantry and pulled out a giant box of corn chips. ‘How am I supposed to get my tan now?’

  Back on the Octavia, family and friends were catching up, nattering about this and that. There was still no sign of Jacinta’s parents so Alice-Miranda asked her mother if it was all right for her and the other children to explore the ship. Hopefully they would come across them during their sightseeing.

  ‘You’ll have to check with Aunty Gee, darling,’ Cecelia replied. ‘It’s her ship after all, and some places might be off-limits.’

  Alice-Miranda found Aunty Gee chatting with her granny, Valentina Highton-Smith.

  ‘Hello Aunty Gee, hello Granny.’ She executed a perfect curtsy.

  ‘There you are, darling girl,’ Granny Valentina replied. ‘How are you enjoying the ship?’

  ‘It’s wonderful,’ Alice-Miranda beamed. ‘Aunty Gee, I’ve come to ask you a question.’

  ‘Yes, what is it, dear?’ The older woman leaned forward. Tiny flecks of powder sat in the smile lines which had taken up permanent residence on Aunty Gee’s face.

  ‘May we have a proper look around the ship, please?’ Alice-Miranda gazed up with her brown eyes a
s big as saucers. ‘I promise we won’t touch anything we shouldn’t and we won’t get in anyone’s way.’

  ‘Aren’t you just the most precious child for asking?’ Aunty Gee beamed at Granny Valentina. ‘Of course, Alice-Miranda, you can explore wherever you like, my dear – perhaps except the engine room – I fear it might be a little dangerous down there. Otherwise, just make sure that you turn up on time for meals and the ship is yours for the whole voyage. And who are you going to do your sightseeing with?’

  Alice-Miranda beckoned to the other children who were milling about behind Granny Bert and her beautiful granddaughter Daisy, who often helped Cecelia out at home.

  ‘Aunty Gee, do you remember my good friend, Millie?’ Millie stepped forward and curtsied as awkwardly as she had the first time she’d met Aunty Gee at Highton Hall.

  ‘Dear, I’d remember that curtsy anywhere. You thought I was Mrs Oliver’s sister,’ Aunty Gee replied. ‘And look at dear Dolly over there today – it’s no wonder you thought we were related. I’d say she’s more my twin than anyone else on earth.’

  Millie’s paprika freckles looked like they’d just caught fire and she managed a small grin.

  ‘And this is my friend Jacinta Headlington-Bear,’ Alice-Miranda urged Jacinta forward.

  ‘You’re the gymnast, aren’t you?’ Aunty Gee asked.

  Jacinta beamed, thrilled to be remembered.

  ‘And you know Lucas, Uncle Lawrence’s son.’ Lucas stepped forward. Aunty Gee held out her hand, which Lucas gently took in his, then bowed.

  ‘Oh, you little charmer. Just like your father.’ Aunty Gee blushed.

  ‘And this is Sep Sykes. He’s Lucas’s room mate at Fayle,’ Alice-Miranda said. Sep hung back a little until Millie gave him an enthusiastic shove forward, causing him to bump into Aunty Gee.

  ‘I am so sorry, Your Majesty.’ Sep wanted to dissolve into the floor.

  Aunty Gee waved her hand. ‘Oh don’t be silly, lad. That’s nothing compared to the treatment I get from those grandchildren of mine. Regard me like a hobby horse, climbing all over me, they do. It’s lovely to meet you, Sep. Welcome aboard the Octavia.’

  ‘Alice-Miranda,’ her mother called. ‘Are you going to take Annie and Poppy with you, too?’

  ‘I haven’t seen them,’ Alice-Miranda replied.

  ‘Oh, I know where they are, dear,’ Granny Valentina piped up. ‘I saw Lady Sarah and Lord Robert taking the girls to their suite. You know Sarah suffers terribly with seasickness. It’s awfully strange – poor girl turns green on arrival – I’ve seen it before. But after a day or so she seems to get her sea legs and she’s fine. Robert mentioned that the youngsters were feeling peaky too so it must be in the genes.’

  ‘Oh,’ Alice-Miranda frowned. ‘I hope they feel better soon.’

  ‘Well, off you go,’ Aunty Gee waved. ‘Have a wonderful time and don’t take any nonsense from the crew. They’re a scurrilous lot.’ She winked at Admiral Harding who was within earshot talking to Hugh and Lawrence.

  Alice-Miranda, Millie, Jacinta, Lucas and Sep gathered together in the corner of the deck.

  ‘Where will we go first?’ Lucas asked the group.

  ‘Maybe Admiral Harding will have a plan of the ship we can borrow,’ Sep suggested.

  ‘It’s much more fun exploring without one,’ Millie replied. ‘Besides, the Octavia’s not that huge, is she?’

  ‘No,’ Alice-Miranda agreed. ‘Mummy said that the Octavia is not nearly as big as some of the other liners. I think there’s accommodation for around 300 guests with another 250 crew.’

  Sep raised his eyebrows. ‘Still, it’s not exactly a row boat.’

  Built just on thirty years ago, to exacting standards, the Royal Yacht Octavia was a sublime example of the best quality craftsmanship, from her polished decks to the maple wood panelling that lined the inside passageways. A recent refurbishment had ensured that she was still state-of-the-art. There was a main dining room and two smaller areas for more casual eating, an oak-panelled library with crystal chandeliers and a stunning drawing room, complete with grand piano, comfy couches and a cabinet full of glittering jewelled Fabergé eggs – apparently a gift from the last Tsar of Russia to Aunty Gee’s grandmother many years ago. The grandest room on the ship was the ballroom, which could accommodate all 300 guests and had an enormous dance floor. This would play host to several events on the voyage, including a Bollywood theme night and a pre-wedding formal dinner and, of course, the wedding itself, which would take place on the last night of the cruise.

  On the upper decks there were opulent apartment-like suites, with an entrance hall, sitting room, bedroom, full bathroom and a balcony, while the suites on the lower levels were slightly smaller and not quite as luxurious.

  ‘Is there a pool?’ Jacinta asked.

  ‘I think so,’ Alice-Miranda nodded. ‘Mummy said it was on the upper deck and it’s fully enclosed with glass – so we can still swim if the weather turns.’

  ‘I expect that’s where I’m most likely to find my mother,’ Jacinta decided.

  ‘Well, come on, let’s go and see.’ And with that Millie led the charge up a narrow flight of stairs.

  An hour later the children were quite lost. They’d seen the upper and middle decks, found the pool but not Jacinta’s mother, and now downstairs was proving more of a labyrinth than they’d imagined.

  ‘I wonder what’s through there?’ said Alice-Miranda. The children pushed open an ornate set of double doors and emerged into the most splendid ballroom. It was encased in highly polished burr walnut panelling, with a vast parquetry floor, and sparkling chandeliers. Alice-Miranda found herself imagining what it would look like for Aunt Charlotte and Lawrence’s wedding.

  ‘Wow, this is some room,’ Lucas marvelled. In the far corner a man with a gravity-defying brown afro hairstyle emerged from a side storeroom, carrying a music stand in each hand.

  Alice-Miranda led her friends towards him. The man was humming to himself and seemed unaware of their approach. As they drew closer Alice-Miranda could hear tinny music as well as the humming and realised that underneath all that hair the man must have been wearing earphones.

  ‘Excuse me. Hello.’ She tapped him on the arm. The man leapt sideways, startled by the ambush. He dropped the two stands, which clattered to the floor.

  ‘You scared me half to death,’ he breathed, pulling the earphones from his ears and switching off his player. ‘What did you do that for?’

  ‘I’m terribly sorry, sir. I didn’t mean to alarm you. My name’s Alice-Miranda Highton-Smith- Kennington-Jones and I’m very pleased to meet you.’ She held out her hand.

  ‘Well, I couldn’t say the same. What are you doing in here?’ the man asked as he stared at Alice-Miranda and her friends, ignoring her outstretched hand.

  ‘Well, we’ve been exploring all over the ship and now we’re a little bit lost. These are my friends Millie and Jacinta and Lucas and Septimus, but you can call him Sep.’

  The man frowned. ‘Well there’s nothing for you to see in here. Just a big empty ballroom, that’s all.’

  ‘Do you have a name, sir?’ Alice-Miranda asked.

  ‘Of course.’ He stared at her. ‘It’s Alex. Now you’d better run along. Don’t want your parents to worry, do you?’

  ‘Oh, they’re not worried at all. And we checked with Aunty Gee and she said that we could go exploring anywhere we liked,’ Alice-Miranda replied.

  ‘Really?’ he glowered.

  ‘What’s through there?’ Millie asked, pointing at the doorway from which the man had emerged.

  ‘Just a storeroom,’ Alex answered.

  ‘Do you need a hand?’ Lucas asked, looking at the music stands.

  ‘Are you setting up for the band?’ said Alice-Miranda. ‘We could help you.’

 
‘Yes, for rehearsal, but I don’t need any help. The others will be along soon.’ Alex wasn’t used to children and he didn’t appreciate the persistence of this lot.

  ‘Are you in the band with Mr Morrison?’ Alice-Miranda asked. ‘What do you play?’

  The man gave a half-nod and said, ‘Saxophone.’

  ‘I love the saxophone. It’s got such a smooth sound,’ Alice-Miranda smiled.

  ‘Can we have a look in there?’ Millie asked, already making her way towards the storeroom.

  Before Alex had time to protest, Millie called out to her friends, ‘You should see this. There are so many instruments. This must be an enormous band.’

  The children charged over to see what Millie was marvelling at.

  ‘I used to play the trumpet,’ said Lucas, picking up a somewhat tatty leather case with a smiley face sticker on the side.

  ‘Put that down,’ Alex demanded.

  ‘I was just going to have a look,’ Lucas replied. ‘I wouldn’t play it.’

  ‘No, you certainly will not! Put it down. Nobody’s allowed to touch that case,’ he snapped.

  ‘Okay, keep your hair on,’ Lucas whispered as he placed the case back on the ground next to the forty or so others of various shapes and sizes.

  Jacinta giggled.

  ‘Well, it’s been nice to meet you, Mr Alex. I can’t wait to see you in the band,’ Alice-Miranda smiled.

  ‘The door’s that way.’ Alex pointed. His face was stony and his eyes had taken on a rather dark hue.

  ‘Come on,’ Sep said. ‘Let’s leave the man to do his work.’

  ‘Goodbye, Mr Alex,’ said Alice-Miranda with a final smile before she skipped after her friends, who were already halfway out the door.

  ‘What is it with people on this ship?’ Jacinta griped when the children were on the other side of the door.