by G E Griffin
Once the meal was over, I was planning a quick getaway as soon as possible after I’d dropped the bombshell about relocating to California, and more crucially, about this new relationship between Caleb and me.
That they were going to be totally shocked and incredulous was a given.
I was still in shock myself, having finally given in to Caleb’s stubborn persistence to give things a go between us. Now all I had to do was convince my family that I was certain I was doing the right thing, which was going to be hard, seeing as I was still trying to convince myself.
Once we’d eaten, and were still sitting around the table, I nodded to Caleb, finally giving him the green light to open up about our plans.
“Well, first off, I want to thank you all for kindly allowing me to join you in your home this evening at short notice, and I have to say that was a wonderful meal. Mrs. Ashridge, you sure are a great cook,” Caleb smiled at Mum.
“You're most welcome, Caleb,” she smiled back, thawing just a smidgeon, clearly not immune to a little flattery about her culinary skills
“Now, I know you must all be very curious about the news that Faith and I wanted to share with you,” he continued.
“You can say that again,” murmured Megan.
“Well, I’m very pleased to be able to tell you that Faith will be taking up the role of Systems Integration Manager at American Western’s head office in San Francisco, initially for six months, just as soon as everything can be arranged,” he began.
“What! But I thought you’d turned that down…at least that’s what you told us,” Mum exclaimed.
“Yes, that was initially the case, Mrs. Ashridge. However, I came over to London to ask Faith if she would reconsider, as there were other factors she needed to take into consideration.”
“Reconsider… what other factors?” Bryony frowned.
“You should know that while Faith and I have been working together, a friendship has developed between us - a close friendship.” Caleb smiled as he reached over and took my hand in his. “And I believe this friendship has the potential to develop into something pretty special. So that’s why I came over, to ask Faith to reconsider coming over to the States, to give this budding relationship between us a chance.”
“You…and Faith?” Bryony scoffed, as she looked first at Caleb, and then at me. Yeah, I know, I’m punching well above my weight, sis.
“Thanks for the vote of confidence, Bry,” I snapped. Although I was expecting that reaction from some people, I had hoped that my own sister might have been a little more supportive and a little less incredulous.
“I’m sure your sister didn't mean it like that, Faith,” Mum quickly stepped in. “No offence Caleb, but you have to appreciate that this has come as quite a shock to us, so it’s hard for us to take in, as Faith hasn’t mentioned anything about this… relationship between you before now.”
“I can only apologise for that, Mrs. Ashridge. And I can certainly appreciate your concern for your daughter, and that’s exactly why I wanted to come and introduce myself to you all, and for us to bring everything out into the open.” Caleb responded calmly.
“So, you say you’ve been working together?” Dad frowned.
“Yes, that’s correct, sir. First off when I came over to London, and then again when Faith came out to San Francisco. We also kept in touch between times too.” Caleb explained.
“Caleb’s a senior executive at American Western. He started off mentoring me, and things just developed from there,” I elaborated.
“I see. I take it you're not married then?” Megan asked bluntly, as she glanced down at Caleb’s hand, obviously checking for evidence of a wedding ring.
“No, I’m divorced. Have been for a couple of years now.” I was probably the only person to notice the way his jaw clenched at the mention of his divorce, but it was enough. He didn't deserve to be put through the wringer, so I decided it’d be less painful if we didn't drag this out any longer than was necessary. They’d met Caleb, they’d been told of our plans, duty done, now we could make our escape.
“Look everyone, I know this has been sprung on you, but surely you can see that since I’m jobless here in the UK, it makes good sense to give this job in San Francisco a shot,” I told them. “And to be honest, it’s early days between me and Caleb, so I probably wouldn’t have said anything yet, but he’s the one that insisted you lot should be told, he’s the one that wants to be open and upfront with you all. So I think he at least deserves your respect for that, don’t you?” I glared round at them all.
“Of course, Faith, no need to be so defensive,” Dad responded.
“And my mind is made up, the arrangements have been set in motion, so whether you like it or not, I will be going to California for the next six months,” I stated firmly. I saw Caleb open his mouth, probably to say something about me possibly relocating permanently, but I shot him a pointed look to indicate we should leave things there, as this was more than enough for my family to take in for now.
“Well, looks as if we’d better get used to the idea, if you’ve already made up your mind,” Mum sighed as she shook her head. “I just hope you’ve thought this through properly, Faith, that you aren’t rushing into anything you're not really ready for, especially as you haven’t even taken the time to talk it through with us. It’s a big step to take for someone like you…”
“What’s that supposed to mean, ‘someone like me’,” I bristled at Mum’s inference.
“Faith, don't get on your high horse,” Bryony said. “All Mum means is that you’ve always had us nearby to call on, but if you go out to California, you’ll be too far away for any of us to be of much help to you.’
“Look, I know I’ve relied heavily on you lot since Drew died, but maybe that’s become a problem, maybe I've become too reliant. You’ve all been wonderful to me, but maybe now the time has come for me to learn to stand on my own two feet again.”
“I’ll be there with her every step of the way, giving my full support, you have my word on that,” Caleb chipped in. “And there’s no reason why you can't come visit any time you wish.”
“Why don't Caleb and I leave you girls to it, give you a chance to talk things over, while we men go out and get a breath of fresh air. That okay with you, Caleb?” Dad piped up.
“Er…sure, Mr. Ashridge,” Caleb agreed.
Well, what other option did the poor guy have, but it meant our chance for a quick exit had vanished, as he got up from the table and followed Dad out through the patio doors to the garden, heading for the sanctuary of his precious garden shed, no doubt with the intention of them having some kind of man to man chat.
The second they were out of ear shot, Mum, Bryony and Megan wasted no time in letting me know that they thought it would be utter madness to disappear off to California with this unknown Yank for six months.
“Look, I can't deny this Caleb fella seems nice enough, and no one could deny that he’s really good looking, but in all honesty, Faith, you hardly know him. How do you know you could depend on him, when you'd be so far away from home?” Bryony stated disapprovingly.
“Caleb and I have worked together for a while now, and he’s one of the most dependable people I know, actually. And the whole point of me going out to the States is to get to know him better, while I take advantage of this great job offer,” I explained through gritted teeth. “And you know, I am quite capable of coping on my own. I'm not a baby, I'm a grown woman in case you’ve forgotten.”
“Yes, but after everything you’ve been through, you need the support of your family around you, because we know you better than anyone,” Megan said condescendingly, as she patted my arm. “We’re just looking out for you, that’s all, and it’s hardly sensible for you to allow yourself to be swept off your feet like this by a virtual stranger, and an American to boot.”
“So what if Caleb’s American, what’s that got to do with anything? And he’s not a stranger, we know each other pretty well, actua
lly. You think you know all about me, but you really don’t,” I muttered, thinking of everything we’d shared that they were unaware of.
But that was exactly Caleb’s point, that was why he was so insistent we couldn’t keep everything under the radar if we were seriously going to try and make things work between us.
Bottom line – he no longer wanted to be my dirty secret.
“Total transparency. I told you, no secrets or lies of any kind about us, to anyone, including family.”
Although I respected his stance, right now it was making things decidedly awkward. I couldn’t help thinking it might have been better if I’d just told my family about the job offer, but kept our still very tentative relationship to ourselves for now.
“Darling, I just don't see what the big rush is for you to take this job in San Francisco, especially as I thought you’d decided you were going to go back to college to retrain as a teacher instead. No, Mother, that was just wishful thinking on your part. That seems a much more sensible option to me, especially as we could all use our experience to help and guide you,” Mum argued in her best sensible and patient teacher’s voice, the one she used with her more difficult pupils. “Although Caleb seems a nice enough young man, how well do you really know him? What on earth do you have in common? Also, as Bryony pointed out, there’s the distance. Do you really think this would be a wise move, being so far away from all the familiar surroundings that you hold so dear?” Mum was alluding to the fact that I’d refused to move out of the flat that Drew and I had shared after he’d died, even though they’d wanted me to move back home with them.
“Give me some credit, Mum, I have taken all these factors into consideration, and I’m not stupid. You get to know someone pretty well when you work so closely with them, especially as Caleb personally mentored me. That was how we discovered how much we have in common, and how well we get on,” I explained through gritted teeth. “And I really liked San Francisco when I went over, so I think I’ll enjoy working there for a while. But don't worry, I’ll still be keeping my flat on, I have no plans to sell it or anything.” For now, anyway.
“Well, that’s something, I suppose. Look, there’s no denying Caleb’s drop dead gorgeous, but are you really sure you're not being swept along with all this, just because he’s so good looking?” Megan asked.
“That’s right,” Bryony agreed. “He just doesn’t seem your type at all. I mean, he’s nothing like…” she faltered, but I knew what she’d been about to say.
“You’re right, Caleb is nothing like Drew. But is that such a bad thing, when this is all about a fresh start, a new beginning, moving on with my life? And listen to yourselves, you shouldn’t be so horribly shallow in judging Caleb purely on his looks. He’s not some male bimbo, he’s a highly successful and ambitious executive at the bank, so I’m actually very lucky that he took time out to mentor me. And although I'm going ahead to try out this job, I am still actively considering other options as well, and if things don't work out, I’ll come back to review my options. But at least this way, I’ll have some additional experience and skills to add to my CV.” I did my best to keep my cool and respond calmly and logically, but it was so hard.
“But you’ll be so far away,” Mum fretted. “Look, I’m thrilled that you finally feel ready to move on and start dating again, but this business of moving to California just seems rather extreme. Wouldn’t it make more sense to start off with someone more familiar, someone closer to home…?”
“I take it you're referring to Neil?” I rolled my eyes.
“Yes, actually,” Mum replied, as Bryony and Megan nodded in agreement.
“For your information, I met up with Neil the other evening, and we had a heart to heart to get a few things straight.”
Neil had been surprised by my request, but he’d agreed to come along when I'd suggested meeting up at a nearby pub so we could talk in neutral surroundings, away from the workshop or the flat that held so many memories of Drew for both of us.
“Oh? So come on, tell us what happened,” Bryony demanded.
“Well, I’ve been noticing a steady decline in turnover and revenue over the last year or so when I’ve been doing Neil’s books, with virtually no new business coming in. So I began to suspect that although Neil’s a great mechanic, maybe he was in over his head running the whole shebang on his own,” I explained.
“You’ve never expressed any concerns before!” exclaimed Megan.
“Maybe that’s because you’ve never bothered to ask, Meg. But I don’t blame you, I was the same, I only saw what I wanted to see. None of us wanted to think otherwise, we just wanted everything to be hunky dory,” I sighed. “Anyway, the point is, my hunch was right. It all came out when I sat Neil down and explained how I’d come to a crossroads in my life, about my job offer in San Francisco, and that he needed to decide what he wanted to do about the workshop from now on, if I wasn’t going to be around to do his books and so forth. That’s when he came clean and admitted that he really hated the responsibility of running a business, but felt trapped because he thought he’d be letting Drew’s memory down if he didn't carry on.”
“But we all thought Neil was exactly the right person to take it over, it seemed such a perfect solution,” Bryony frowned.
“Yeah, well, that’s been the problem, he knew he had everybody’s expectations riding on him. Poor Neil got pressured into taking Drew’s workshop on, and he didn't feel able to admit it wasn’t actually what he wanted. And me being involved and continuing to do all the paperwork made him think it was what I wanted, too, which has meant we’ve both been stuck in this awkward impasse with neither of us able to move on. When I told him he should consider selling the business and moving on if that was what he really wanted, he looked as if he’d had the weight of the world lifted from his shoulders.”
“What did Neil actually say?” Mum frowned.
“He said he’d never planned to run his own business. In fact, he’d been saving up to go on a round the world trip on his motorbike, but when Drew died, he quietly dropped all those plans and put the money into buying the workshop instead.”
“I never knew that,” Megan murmured.
“Neil put all his dreams on hold, because he felt obliged to step in when we were trying to sort out Drew’s business. I admit I didn't really pay as much attention as I should have done to see if that was really what Neil wanted, rather than let him be pressured into it. Now I feel guilty that the poor guy had all this unwanted responsibility foisted on him, so that’s why I’ve told him it’s fine if he wants to sell the business and follow his dream to go travelling. There’s no point in him trying to stick things out, not when he’s miserable and hates what he’s doing, because if his heart’s not in it, inevitably the business is going to go down the pan.”
“But what about you and Neil? I really thought there might be a chance that you two could work something out,” Bryony sighed.
“Wishful thinking on your part, I’m afraid, sis. He’s a great fella, no question, and we’re mates. But that’s all, because in his eyes, I’ll always be Drew’s girl, and in my eyes, he’ll always be Drew’s best mate. There’s nothing more than that between us, however much you might wish otherwise,” I stated firmly, determined to finally put an end to this stupid fantasy of theirs.
“I suppose we have to accept what you're saying,” Mum reluctantly conceded. “None of us ever intended to push Neil into doing something he didn't want. Why ever didn't he just say something ?”
“The poor guy didn't dare! Have you any idea how intimidating you lot can be?” I shook my head in frustration. “Just look at how resistant you’re all being because I'm daring to go against what you think is best for me.”
“We’re just looking out for you, because we love you and are concerned for your welfare, that’s all,” Mum smiled as she reached over to put her arm round my shoulders and kiss the top of my head.
“I know, I love you all too. I get why you're worried
, and I appreciate all your support and help, really I do. But I can't spend the rest of my life wrapped up in cotton wool, so I have to have the courage to branch out on my own again. And that’s exactly the opportunity Caleb is offering, so please don't begrudge me this chance.”
“We don't, honestly,” Megan smiled. “But a move to the States with a guy you’ve only just met, however nice he may be, just seems such a huge leap for you to take. Surely you can understand our concerns, Faith?”
“Of course I can, but all I can say is that it feels as if Caleb is giving me a chance to actually live, to feel properly alive again, rather than just existing. I’m not naive, I’m going into this with my eyes wide open, I’m fully aware things may not work out, but I’ll never know if I don't at least try, will I? Trust me when I say that Caleb really is a good guy, so don't let his handsome exterior fool you into believing otherwise. I made that mistake to start with, but you know, he’s had a pretty rough time too, thanks to a bitter divorce, so now I think he deserves my best shot, and for me not to mess him around. And the job really is an excellent one; I'd be a fool not to take advantage of such a great opportunity. So, even though I'd prefer to have your support, I'm going to go ahead anyway, whatever you lot say,” I finished defiantly, as I stood up from the table and walked away.
I'd had enough, and I really didn’t want to argue any more, so I made my escape into the garden to see if I could find Caleb and rescue him from my dad.
Instead I came across mum’s cousin Jeanette, sitting on the bench out in the garden. She’d tactfully left us all to it, while she sneaked off to have a quiet cigarette outside. She smiled as she patted the empty space next to her, so I plonked myself down, and then ripped off some of the aromatic French lavender leaves from a nearby pot to inhale the scent and calm myself down.
I didn't really know Jeanette that well, as she and Mum hadn't been in contact for years, but had recently got in touch again and discovered they got on really well. Since she’d retired from teaching - Jeanette was yet another member of that profession in our family - she’d taken up floristry, so that was why she’d been roped in to help organise the flowers for Bryony’s wedding.