Touch of Danger (Three Worlds)

by Strickland, Carol A.

  After a few left-over chuckles he sat up. “Jae will be so proud of me,” he said. “And you know, Papa Mike was right. It does make more room. Think you could rustle up a shake, chérie? Chocolate? If you can afford it.”

  Lina looked sideways at him. “Are you sure?” she asked. “Do you really know what feeling full is?”

  He patted his stomach. “Much more room now.” He got a crafty look on his face. “I could make some more room, maybe. I think I can outdo that one.” And he started to gulp air.

  “Wait, wait!” Lina cried, holding up her hands in surrender. “No need to wake up the volcano. Ah, shakes. They don’t make those up in advance, do they? It’s not like I can operate the machinery from here...”

  “That’s okay.” Still, he gave a start when a small, round carton of chocolate ice cream and a plastic spoon appeared on the blanket next to him. “Good enough,” he said, and dug in. “Things taste so different,” he declared.

  “Okay. A question. If Maximus is in California and Oregon, how’d you get to Montreal?”

  “I’m allowed to travel. I’m not attached to his spleen or anything.”

  “Sorry. Didn’t know it was a sore point.”

  Londo frowned to himself. “It shouldn’t be, but it is. Everyone always brings up Hal whenever there’s an interview. ‘What does Maximus think of you doing...’ well, whatever. Over and over again. Every now and then—not very often—I wish I could get out of his shadow. The man casts one hell of a shadow.”

  “So you must like North America...”

  “And Montreal was the nicest place with any size to it I could find on the opposite coast from Hal. It was a definite plus that they speak French there.”

  As he continued to chat about his life, it gave Lina inexpressible satisfaction just to listen to him. Not only was he warm in body, he was the same in spirit.

  And he was safe. This day had been a rare haven. Instead of jumping at every happenstance that came along, she knew she’d be safe so long as she was near him. Was it because he was a man? Yang energy was high in protective impulses. Maybe it was because he was Valiant. It was his job to keep people safe. Maybe it was because he was just Lon. Wonderful Londo. She snuggled closer. How lucky she was to know him for this day!

  As she listened and fiddled with a sliver of driftwood, she happened to mention the watercolors she had brought with her on vacation.

  “You paint?”

  “No,” she said, “that’s the problem. No time for it, no time to get good at it so I can go pro. I thought this trip would inspire me to get up off my ass.”

  “So paint when you get back.”

  She had to explain to him about the importance of a regular job to pay for mortgage, food, health insurance, heat... People didn’t want to pay for real art. They preferred assembly line paintings done at cut rates. Best to pay attention to the jobs that brought in real money.

  Lon said thoughtfully, “You need a mentor. Someone who’d back you financially.”

  That made her laugh. “I enter the lottery every chance I get.”

  “Do you know what the odds are on that?”

  “Someone once said that the lottery was a secret government plot, you know, a tax on the stupid.”

  “So why is it you’ve never done anything with your other talent?” Lon asked gently. “Why haven’t I heard before about Lina O’Kelly, the Healing Wonder?”

  The sliver she’d been trying to bend finally turned upon itself into a small ring and Lina flipped it into the woods. “I’m not so special. Anyone can do the healing work.”

  “Bullshit. No one can do it at this level or everyone would have heard of them.”

  “I’ve just been on an adrenaline high. You’ve seen my technique much more impressive than it usually is. But really, Lon. I could teach you, if you wanted. It takes a little discipline, but not that much. It’s basically focused good intentions. All it takes is a good heart—and that you have.”

  He touched her cheek. “And you.”

  His eyes could glow so warmly. Lina wanted to drown in them.

  “Let’s share minds again,” he whispered in her ear.

  Yes, yes, yes. “No,” Lina said. She had to remember her place in things, her resolve. He’d be gone soon. Goal A was to protect her heart during all this.

  No, that was wrong. Goal A was to protect his heart.

  “I think we’ve shared minds enough, Lon. We can’t do it any more,” she said. “It’s going to make it that much harder when we have to stop.”

  “Pantoute,” Lon said. “I’m fine and I’m going to be fine. I know your body so well now.”

  His breath was hot behind her ear. Lina closed her eyes as her body woke again to that sensation. It wasn’t just his breath; it was his low, compelling voice. Music. Magic.

  “I want to know it better.” His music thrummed through her. She wanted so badly to listen, but she couldn’t. Did he have any idea of what he did to her?

  “I want to see you, to see your mind naked and open to my touch so I can know you like no one else has ever known you before. I want to feel the real you. I want to make love to you in your mind. I want to have you, body and soul.”

  “It would be different if we had more than today. No, Lon.” She wanted to push away, but his strong arms wrapped around her. She loved being in his arms.

  “Just today—a day to do everything we’ve ever imagined—and more. This is the more. Let’s take it so we’ll always have it to look back on.” He kissed the side of her neck. “Let’s jump again and see where we land.”

  “It’s too dangerous. Tomorrow we’ll hate ourselves for doing it. Three months from now we’ll hate ourselves for doing it.”

  “But today, love, today...” His mind reached out to hers.

  Only one day. How could she survive when he was gone? This was all she’d have to last her until eternity passed away. This would be the memory she could live on. “Has anyone ever said no to you?” she whispered.

  “Come in my mind and see,” he told her. “Oh, Lina, come in my mind and see!”

  So deep now, his mind drowned in aching loneliness. **Touch me, touch me,** it called to Lina. **Talk to me, read to me, sing to me, let me know someone is there.**

  **I’m here,** Lina replied.

  **But after a day you’ll be gone.**

  There was no answer to that. **If you ever want to talk, I can be there.** She spread her essence through his mind, trying to touch everything, to reassure his entire being by her presence. **I’m here. I won’t go unless you want me to.**

  A little dark-haired boy stood lost and crying in front of her. He was all alone in the universe. She knelt to put her arms around him, and he hugged her fiercely around the neck.

  **Don’t leave me, don’t leave me!** he snuffled and then raised his head. Someone was hugging him from the other side and he turned to her. “Maman!” he cried, but the shadowy woman let him go. She walked away and never looked back. “Don’t leave me!” he screamed at her.

  In a voice that echoed here in the dark, the woman said, “I don’t love you any more,” and then she was gone. Without her the universe stretched empty, devoid of life and feeling.

  The child dissolved into a wild whirlpool of pain and rejection. If only he’d been better, she would have loved him enough to stay. If only he’d eaten his vegetables, or played nicer, or been quiet when she told him to... He didn’t know what exactly it was, but if only he knew, then she wouldn’t have left. It was all his fault that she was gone.

  **That’s not true,** Lina said. The boy turned to her and grew into the man. **Lon, you’re a good person. You’re a hero, renowned for your integrity. I don’t know what happened here, but it couldn’t have been because of you yourself. Whatever it was, you were a child, and children so often misread a world they don’t understand.**

  **Don’t leave me, Lina.** He grabbed her shoulders and hugged her fiercely. **Don’t ever leave me!**

  **This is just
for a day. We can be friends for as long as you want. I’m not rejecting you.**

  **You are.**

  **I’m not. It’s a physical thing. The universe—**

  **I hate the universe. I hate God. He did this to me!**

  **And you helped plan it.** On this plane she could feel the emotions that battered his features. Fear, helplessness, hatred, confusion.

  **Before you were born, you helped plan your life, Lon. Think about what being this way has given you that you couldn’t have gotten any other way. There’s something, at least one very important thing, that you’ve gotten that you couldn’t have any other way. There are all the things that you’ve seen that I could never hope to imagine. Think about what you can do that no one else can.**

  The storm around him began to calm. Colors evened out from raging firebursts to short, choppy waves of cool greens and blues. **I like flying. I like leading people. I like knowing Hal, and all my other friends. There were some kids in an African refugee camp last year; I stopped a mob of assassins there. You should have seen their faces. They’d be dead if I hadn’t been there to help.**

  Lina could sense some of the images coming to him, more experiences that he was thankful for. She edged away to let him re-experience them as much as he had to.

  But he looked around for her. **I’d never have met you if I were normal,** he said, and he drew her into an embrace. On this level the hug merged them and ran their essences together.

  His innate confidence plowed through the heart of her. He knew his own worth; he fulfilled the world’s faith in himself, while Lina—she knew exactly how much she was worth. She squirmed to get out of Lon’s arms and away from him. Mustn’t soil him with her presence!

  “Who do you think you are, anyway? He’s a famous hero. You’re just a dirty little girl,” Dad told her.

  “Go wash up,” Mom whispered.

  “Always thinking you’re better than other people. Your hair’s a mess,” her father jeered. “Spoiled, ugly brat, putting on airs. Think you’re so smart. Why can’t you be like your sister?”

  Mom nodded. “Barb’s so pretty. She’s just smart enough, so the boys will like her.”

  “Be quiet down there! We’re trying to watch TV! I said, be quiet! I’ll give you something to cry about, you stupid, ugly mutt-faced Muttbutt!” Dad drew his belt out of his pants and snapped it against the palm of his hand.

  “Don’t upset him,” her mother told her. “You have to love him; he’s your father.”

  “I love you, Dad,” Lina said miserably.

  “Lina!” her father yelled. “Stop trying to attract attention! Don’t lie to me! You go to your room right now, little miss bitch! You go down there and stay there until I tell you you can come out! No food, no drinks, no electricity for you!”

  “But I wasn’t doing anything,” Lina wailed. “I was just talking to my friends. To the angels, to the earth. They like me.”

  “You’ve embarrassed me for the last time. Why weren’t you born a boy? You liar. You little whore!”

  **Lina! Lina! Don’t listen to them!**

  As tears obliterated her sight, she pushed away from Londo even as he tried to take her in his arms. **Don’t touch me, Lon! It might be catching. I’m no good!**

  **Lina chérie, don’t listen to them. What do they know? They don’t understand. They’re coming from their own problems. They inflict their own fears on you. Come here: I’ll touch you. I’ll hold you.**

  **Just to get some sex! You don’t care about me at all. No one cares about me. I’m all alone—and I like it that way. Just me and the angels. The angels say there’s no sin, so they don’t mind being around me.**

  Londo crept closer. **So what do your parents know that the angels don’t? They’re the ones who are telling you how wrong you are. What do the angels say?**

  In her misery Lina spiraled down through the darkness. Get away from Londo. Spare him from having to endure her presence.

  But he followed her.

  Lina tried to think through her confusion and shame. **They always say that everything’s right, that the universe is doing what it’s supposed to be.**

  **And does that include you? Are you doing what you’re supposed to? Are you doing anything the angels say is wrong?**

  Her downward movement slowed to a halt and he caught up with her. **I...** She looked up to see him beside her, his presence wrapping her protectively. **I don’t know.**

  **Touch me, Lina. Show me that you’re here for me.**

  **Touch me, Londo. Show me that I’m good enough.**

  They held each other in that timeless place for forever and a moment.

  Back on a physical plane, their gazes opened into each other’s for that heartbeat of eternity. Yet they were still totally together someplace where there was not-so-distant singing, where a breeze blew away the darkness and starlight fell like laughter upon them and through them. A soft, cleansing wave of peace washed over them. It left them able to accept the sunlight, accept the breeze—accept each other.

  Londo rolled away from her as she lay dozing beneath the twilight palm trees, her hair splayed around her in a dark halo, thick lashes closed against her cheek, sweet pink nipples on those beautiful white mounds rising and falling to the gentle rhythm of her breath.

  Oh god, what had he done? He caught his head in his hands, afraid that he was going to be sick.

  He was Valiant, for pity’s sake. With a reputation for integrity. He’d used this girl terribly, played with her heart as if she were his toy.

  All for his own needs, his own raging passions. It was true; he was no better than Pepé le Pew, thinking with his cock—just after a piece of ass at his first opportunity. His only opportunity—for life.

  But what about her? Here at the end of this day, think about her for once! She had been as innocent as a daisy. She still was, except that he’d taken her virginity from her and painfully at that. All she’d wanted was to help him.

  He’d constructed the perfect fantasy. Now the real world crouched nearby, ready to rip it to shreds.

  Lon clenched his fist around the corner of their blanket in self-disgust. She’d helped him, she’d healed him and he hadn’t been able to wait to spread those legs of hers apart. She was so vulnerable to him, so naive to her own feelings. But all this was coming too quickly to an end. He’d be damned if he was going to take advantage of her that way, too. Save her something.

  But oh god, he wanted more! His gut clenched in longing. He wanted everything she could give. How he wanted her to love him—finish the fantasy, complete the tale. Fill the hole where his heart had once beaten. But she was right. What future was there in that besides misery?

  “Second thoughts, Lon?” her soft voice asked from his shoulder.

  He didn’t turn. “Lina, after this is over...” He didn’t know how to phrase it so it wouldn’t sound so rough and unfeeling.

  “I know that tomorrow you’ll be gone,” she finished for him. “I don’t expect anything more from this.”

  Jesus. How could she say that? He’d wrecked her life. He pulled his hands over his head. “I’m sorry. My only job was to get you to safety. I should have paid attention to that.”

  “And ignored your soul,” she replied. “You had a duty to yourself, too. Lon, there’s no way we coulda or shoulda or woulda. No way to take back the past. Or is that one of your powers now? Can you give me back my virginity? Can you get yours back?”

  He sat silent, consumed with guilt. The edge of the moon began to peek over the eastern horizon.

  Lina rubbed the back of his shoulder. Her hand glided around to the front to stroke his chest. Now it was her warm breath on his neck, her soft cheek against him, her breast pressing against his spine. “Do you really want your virginity back?” she whispered.

  “I never wanted to hurt you,” he said between clenched teeth. “I don’t want to give you any false expectations.”

  “I don’t have any. This is just for now. No more than t
hat.”

  He could hear her say that, but it seemed that her heart was saying something else. Lon turned his head to look at her. “No more?”

  She sighed. “Well,” she admitted, “if we should ever see each other again it would be nice if you could stop and say hello, or wave, or something. If you can’t do that, a Christmas card would be okay. But if you can’t do that...” She paused, and he could actually feel in her mind an image of her closing a door to the world, cutting herself off from it, stepping her two steps back. “I’ll understand. It’s an awkward situation.”

  “Awkward.” He gave an choked laugh, his back still to her. How did she do it? How could she be here with him and yet be able to keep her emotional distance?

  “We aren’t kids,” Lina told him. “We know how the world goes. Things happen. People sometimes have to handle awkward situations awkwardly. I don’t want you twenty years from now to say oh, we still had seven hours left. That’s...” she figured it up. “Twenty-eight times we missed because we were feeling sorry for ourselves. Or are you still thinking in fifteen-minute segments? We are sooo behind schedule if you are.”

  He tried to laugh at that but no sound emerged. “Twenty-eight times.” With Lina. With her warm and soft in his arms, her sweaty and moaning under him, hot and wet and tight, her mind gently wrapped within his. He turned to her, his hand resting on her familiar thigh. “So what’ll we do?”

  “Debauch,” she said very clearly, and this time he laughed. She could always make him laugh. “Whatever you want to do, we’ll do it.”

  Lon’s mouth opened to say something, and she beat him to it. “Except anal.” He gave a snort and rubbed her in acquiescence. “And when your powers return, we’ll say adios and keep our fond memories. Anything we say or do during this time will be rendered null and void.”

  “And what about sharing minds?” Lon’s eyes burned into hers. **Can we do that and just walk away?**

  “We’re going to have to, aren’t we? We’ve already jumped,” she reminded him. “It’s a little late to go back now.”