Weekend at Prism

by John Patrick Kavanagh

“Let me ask you this. If you had to choose between the Battle or Combined Forces, which would you take?”

  “I’d have to take both of them, Connie. This has been without a doubt the greatest concert ever staged, bar none. What we have had the pleasure of witnessing thus far cannot, will not ever be matched anywhere at any time in the future… with only one remote possibility.”

  “I’ll guess you’re referring to a group of upcoming performances for which we have just been provided a set list, and if it’s half as good as it looks on paper, that one remote possibility you mentioned may come to fruition. Many moons ago when you initially glimpsed the building blocks being stacked, could you have imagined a line-up like this?”

  “Could I? Yes. I can also imagine Klaatu and Gort landing in their flying saucer in Washington and the statue at the Lincoln Memorial coming to life then stepping over to greet them, but I wouldn’t bet on it.”

  “Anything in particular jump out at you?”

  Spotswood thought of the conversation he’d had with Stonetree, looked across to where he was sitting then shook his head. “I think if a PinkiePoll had been done, asking Here’s the performers, what one song would you like to hear them play? I’d say this is about how they’d have voted.” He chuckled. “Having said that, I believe Mr. Potcheck prepared a list of his favorites. Might have had a bit of influence on the selection process.”

  “I believe it’s said that he who pays the piper gets to call the tune.”

  “And I’ve also heard the line See this check? Only thing it needs is my signature.”

  They both laughed.

  “Now just as Laura mentioned in our interview, you and I are also on double secret probation orders not to reveal the identities of any of the special guests we’re about to see, though I’ve been hearing some back chatter about somebodies known as Prism Five, I imagine referring to background vocalists who’ll be stepping in, and as I’m unfamiliar with anybody working under that signature, who do you think that might refer to? I’ll take an educated guess that Linda Bowen and Angie Caulfield, who put on last night’s stellar inaugural concert here in the Oasis but are not listed as performing tonight might instead be appearing in supporting roles, along with... maybe Christie and Billi and a fifth person?”

  Spotswood glanced to Stonetree again, thought to reply then decided additional things should also be left unsaid. The house lights began to dim as the stage began to reappear, bringing a roar from the audience. He gestured to his co-host.

  “Coming up,” Scanlan said, “without commercial interruptions, Combined Forces and Friends!”

  As the members of CCBBA and Pandora’s Obsession stepped out then toward the front of the stage, the ovation grew louder. The men had changed into matching, tailored sweatshirted uniforms in black with silver lettering sporting the new CF logo. The women, on the other hand, wore inspired cheerleader outfits in the same colors with various degrees of suggestiveness, Blair’s easily the most sensual. After arranging themselves in a line, they all turned simultaneously to reveal the backs of their outfits displaying their last names in smaller script over larger single or double letters identifying their primary duties such as G, P, V, B, K&V or V&K.

  The musicians moved to their positions leaving only Polanski at the front of the stage. “I’m going to sit out this first number to protest… man, I’m losing battles, I’m losing bets… to protest the decision to open this segment with a religious ballad.”

  A single chord from an organ surfaced and a faceless voice stated, “Dearly beloved, we have gathered here tonight to get through this thing called life.” The audience roared.

  “But if we’re gonna have someone preaching the gospel of rock and roll… ”

  “Electric word, life… it means forever and that’s a mighty long time.”

  “… I’m here to tell you that we’ve got just the man to give us some religion!”

  Poof! Prince appeared, axe in hand, on a rectangular riser wearing Polanski’s hat and bracketed by Watts on bass and Loveland on a synth. After ripping through Let’s Go Crazy, he then tacked on a few verses of All Along The Watchtower for good measure. Not waiting for the applause to stop, the Purple One grinned, “Last spring and into the summer, five extremely talented ladies were going back and forth at the top of the charts with their third greatest hits albums, and we managed to get at least one of them to join us tonight. Ladies and gentlemen, Carrie Underwood.”

  And she sang Before He Cheats then said, “I’ll always treasure being the fourth winner on American Idol, but it helped having a fabulous role model and her name is Kelly Clarkson.”

  Who performed a gritty version of Walk Away then offered, “She never competed on American Idol but she became one of the greatest in history. Please welcome Taylor Swift.”

  And she sang I Knew You Were Trouble, Blair and Cramer pitching in on the choruses and adding new harmony parts. After one of the biggest ovations of the night she curtsied then smiled, “She edged all of us out with weeks at number one earlier this year and all I’ve got to say about that is You go girl! Ladies and gentlemen, Katy Perry.”

  As she stepped to one of the two microphones at the center of the stage, she waved to the audience with one hand while touching up her lips with the other. Then looking across she called, “Mr. Polanski? Could you join me for a moment?” He began to walk in her direction but stopped as she added, “With your guitar, please.” After retrieving it, he arrived at her side and after pulling him closer gave him a peck on the lips, handed him the small tube and cooed, “Why don’t you keep this for future reference.”

  Then she launched into I Kissed A Girl, Polanski contributing a rhythm fill and joining her on the first two lines of each chorus, obviously enjoying being part of the performance. At the conclusion, they kissed again—longer this time—then Perry said, “She went by a different name when she recorded this next number but a superstar by any other name still shines as bright. Please welcome Stefani Germanotta.”

  And she delivered a nuanced version of her hit Paparazzi, the longing for her target now touched with disappointment and loss. Then she chuckled, “Though girls seem to be running things tonight, here’s a man who knows something about that, which is why he’s called The Boss. Bruce Springsteen.”

  At the end of Glory Days he said, “I’ve played a lot of years with a great band behind me, but this one we’ve got tonight has a great future ahead of them!” After yet another ovation he continued, “And I’m now honored to introduce two men who are the definition of virtuosity. Please welcome Carlos Santana and YoYo Ma.”

  After the guitarist and cellist were in place, Blair stepped to a microphone and delivered a haunting version of George Harrison’s While My Guitar Gently Weeps, often glancing to her collaborators, seemingly awed to be sharing the stage with them. Following thunderous applause, she smiled broadly and said, “Here’s another guy minus his band, Michael Stipe.”

  Losing My Religion featured Loveland stepping in to add her antique concertina to the mix. After acknowledging the contribution Stipe said, “Pam Watts will introduce our next guest,” and she stepped center stage with hands folded behind her back. “The object of my bandmate Laura’s schoolgirl crush and inspiration has already performed this evening, one song in particular making her day… maybe the rest of her life.” The crowd loved it. “I, on the other hand, had to send a mash note to mine and he graciously agreed to join us this evening, making my… I assure you the rest of my life. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Timothy B. Schmit.”

  The legendary Eagles bassist moved to join her, his instrument with neck pointed down hanging from a shoulder. After kissing her cheek he smiled, “Thank you so very much for the kind invitation to be part of this exceptionally august assembly. But I’d like to request something from you in return.”

  “Anything.”

  “How about joining me on bass for my number?” he asked, letting the guitar slide into his hand and offering it to her.


  “Delighted to, but I’ll leave the Jazz Bass playing to you. Lemme go fetch my Precision.”

  “This is a Precision. And a rather unique one, I might add.”

  She grasped it, examining it up and down. “Okay.”

  “You might want to take a look at the other side.”

  Flipping it over, her eyes widened in amazement and she began to tremble. “No. Can’t be.”

  “Oh? Then let me ask you two questions.”

  She just stared at the brown leather backing and touched the brass tacks holding it in place.

  “This message that’s behind the leather… it’s not a written message, is it?”

  Tears began to well in her eyes.

  “We checked it out and the message appears to be Don’t wear fancy belt buckles when you’re playing me.”

  Now the tears coursed down her cheeks. Reaching into his back pocket, he removed a crumpled card and a handkerchief, handing them over. “Look familiar? Found it inside the accessory pocket of the case.”

  After dabbing at her eyes, she replied, “It’s… from… God, that place went out of business eons ago.”

  “Recognize the handwritten scribble on the back?”

  She nodded, then wiped at her eyes with her wrist.

  “We couldn’t make heads or tails of it. What’s it say?”

  “It says… don’t forget the habanera peppers.”

  “Well next time, try don’t forget the bass.”

  “But how… how did you find her?”

  “I didn’t. You’ll have to take that up with Mr. Walbee.” He chuckled. “As you might know, he’s got lots of skill at solving the unsolvable.”

  Setting the instrument gently on the floor, she wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face against his shoulder as her fans began chanting, “Fendiebaby! Fendiebaby! Fendiebaby!” After a long moment, she finally released him then retrieving the guitar, rocked it back and forth like a beloved infant. After a roadie brought over his Fender Jazz, he delivered an exquisite rendition of Love Will Keep Us Alive, Watts matching him note for note as Polanski and Lera weighed in with the harmonies.”It’s my pleasure to introduce you to one half of Gnarls Barkley, Mr. CeeLo Green,” he said after the applause subsided.

  As the man stepped out, Schmit and Watts began to leave but stopped when he ordered, “Hey, I need a lot of bass on this number!” Then looking to his right added, “DJ Wingrove? You’d better get up here, too!” As the three bassists shared a laugh and whispered asides, Green began stroking his chin as if trying to solve a puzzle. “I’m also in need of some sweet ooohs and ahhhs, the kind that would melt chocolate in the middle of a snowstorm.”

  King appeared on the side screens. “Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome for their first public performance, Prism5!” And out stepped Swift, Underwood, Germanotta, Perry and Clarkson, all of them changed into varying black outfits, each with a single white accessory.

  Spotswood took a moment to collect his thoughts then turned again to where Stonetree and Sharon had been seated, only to see them leaving BB1. Looking to Scanlan, he said, “Hold down the fort. I’ll be right back.”

  In the corridor he called out, “Hey, kids? Where’re you going? There’s a lot of show left!”

  Stonetree stopped but motioned Sharon to keep walking. When Spotswood caught up, he asked, “How did you know, Dave?”

  No reply.

  “You knew the songs all five of them would sing. You knew they’d come back in black outfits as backups.” He paused. “How, Dave?”

  “We’ve… I’ve gotta get going, Jip.”

  “Not until you tell me how you knew.”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Try again.”

  Spotswood stared at the floor a moment then looked back up. “I told you. It was like I’d seen a film or something.”

  “Same for the… you talked about Alliance and Obsession coming back in uniforms.”

  “I know.” He sighed. “But promise me you won’t mention this to anybody until… we’ll get together when you get back to the City and figure it out.” He then extended his hand. “Deal?”

  Spotswood shook it. “Deal.” Then he embraced his friend, adding, “Stay outta trouble ’til then.”

  Stonetree gave a slight smile. “I’ll do my best.”

  After an extended ovation, the five women took their places on a set of small platforms that equalized their heights then provided a pitch-perfect backup for Crazy. Then, “She led the most successful girl group in history, but she’s flying solo tonight with one of the best from The Bangles’ catalogue, Susanna Hoffs.”

  She knocked out Manic Monday with composer Prince returning to the stage to play a keyboard accompaniment while the Quintet again nailed the harmonies and backing.

  “To continue this festival of estrogen, I’m delighted and humbled for this opportunity to introduce another lady without her group, a chick band that paved the way for the rest of us. Please welcome Belinda Carlisle.”

  The former Go-Gos front woman stepped out and waved to the ovation then folded her hands behind her back. “When I was invited to join you this evening, I asked if our hosts had a particular song of mine they’d like me to perform and was asked to choose between a pair. Wanting to be a good guest, I decided to give something new a try and I hope they both, and you, enjoy it.” She then rocked out a perfect medley of Wild Horses and Leave A Light On as if they were always meant to be a single number, the Quintet adding lovely fills. Following a powerful ovation she smiled, “Pam Watts, the mastermind who’s got this show timed down to a split second, will make the next introduction.”

  “Due to an aborted flight, the originally scheduled performer won’t be joining us so to fill that slot… you saw her yesterday and here she is again… Angelique Caulfield!”

  At the conclusion of Cherry Bomb, any lingering doubts about who’d stolen the previous night’s spotlight dissipated. A close shot of the ingénue’s face on the side screens soaking up the wild applause made Spotswood smile and think Now she’s realizing superstardom might only be a few steps away.

  Four more singers followed with crowd-pleasing performances and then Polanski stepped stage left and held up a document. “This is the contract we signed for tonight’s gig. Let me share with you Section 14, Paragraph 3, Sub B.” After turning to the page, he continued, “Promoter warrants that Artist... that’s The Alliance... and Pandora’s Obsession, either individually or in any combination of same, shall be the only bands performing during the Event.”He paused. “The only bands. Fairly easy concept to understand, eh? But I think we’re going to modify that provision.” He smiled and gestured to his right. “Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome back, this time armed and dangerous, Prism5!”

  Poof! The five appeared, Swift and Germanotta on keyboards, Clarkson and Perry on guitar and bass, Underwood walking to the drums then easing onto the stool as the audience chuckled in amazement. Lifting a pair of sticks from the snare, she spun them expertly then grinned, “Just watch.” Then the quintet peeled off three new numbers - The Chase, No Timeouts and I Used To Be Cautious - as if they’d performed them a hundred times in the past.

  Then following an introduction by Swift, Adele—backed by not only Prism5 but practically every other musician available—sang Rolling In The Deep. Pam Watts, holding a stopwatch, grinned as she counted down the seconds with her free hand. Then as the chanteuse moaned

  “You played it

  You played it to the beat.”

  the bassist let go with a whoop and pointed to one of the side screens where Stacey King appeared and began, “Thirty. Twenty-nine. Twenty-eight… ,” the huge numerals flashing on the surface of the Ultratron, pandemonium breaking out as the clock hit zero, uncountable balloons, streamers and confetti pouring down from the ceiling.

  Everyone on the stage went into a hugfest, then waved to the audience, bowed and began to make their ways away, but Polanski stepped back toward the Attack System as Lera and Love
land returned to their own keyboards. The other musicians stopped their retreat, looked about as if with surprise, then slowly eased back into position. Polanski spoke into his remote control and the System began to stretch out into a straight line of three banks as the nine components rearranged themselves. Calling across to Loveland who didn’t hear him, he yelled down to Wingrove to get her attention and when she finally looked over, he motioned her to join him. Then he shouted to Lera who also accepted the invitation. Finally, he caught Watts’ eye and gestured for her to complete the ensemble. Pressing a button to his left, three microphones angled out of the device, coming to rest above the trio of stacks as a roadie brought out a fourth and set it up for the bassist.

  Sensing a cherry atop the sundae, the audience rose to its feet and began chanting “Encore! Encore! Encore!” causing Lera to wave his arms and respond, “All right! All right! Sit down and be quiet! We’ve got one more for ya’!”

  “One more after a bit of unfinished business,” Loveland added, then turned to Polanski. “Andrew? Instead of adding something to your wardrobe, I think this time I’ll ask that you remove them.”

  “Anything to make you happy,” he laughed, then started unbuckling his belt.

  “Not your pants, for Christ’s sale.” She paused. “Your sunglasses, please.” She paused again. “I want to look into those eyes to see if they’re as beautiful as the rest of the package.”

  Aside from some oooohs, the auditorium went silent.

  Polanski seemed to freeze, then shook his head. “Can’t.” He hesitated. “Won’t.”

  “A bet’s a bet.”

  “I… ” he replied, then looked down and after a deep breath, back to her. “A bet’s a bet. But if it means that much to you, you’ll have to do the deed yourself.”

  She crossed her arms a moment then began to reach toward his face, making him flinch. Seemingly sensing his discomfort, she thought another moment then shrugged. “Tonight’s been too wonderful… you’ve been too wonderful for me to mess it up now.” She paused. “Rain check?”