Better Together

by Nicola May

  She returned minutes later to find Dan, lying on his back and snoring loudly.

  She moved the coffee table back to allow room for the duvet she had placed over him and, as she did, she saw the Scrabble letters he’d arranged on the board: I think you’re grand x.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Jessy awoke early and after phoning to check if Freya was OK, immediately dialled Emma’s number. ‘Oh my god! I don’t believe it,’ Emma exclaimed. ‘What on earth are you going to do?’

  ‘I’m going to do nothing, Em, absolutely nothing. There is no way he is going to walk right back into my life after all these years.’

  ‘But how do you feel about him now, Jess? It must be really strange to see him again.’

  ‘I still fancy the arse off of him. He still excites me. He still makes me laugh. It’s as if he’s never been away, but I can’t play at life anymore, Em. I’ve got to think clearly about where I see my life heading. It’s not a bloody dress rehearsal anymore. At my age I’m not prepared to go into anything lightly and make a mistake.’

  ‘And how are you feeling about, Sam?’

  ‘Oh, Em, I don’t know. I do love him, but having this time out and seeing Dan again has made me realise that my relationship is actually quite dead.’

  Emma’s sensible voice soothed Jess. ‘But, you could make the decision that Sam isn’t who you want to spend the rest of your life with, and not find anyone else who offers you the passion you are craving?’

  ‘I’ve thought about that too, but I’m not prepared to accept a life of mediocrity I want more.’

  ‘Oh, Jess, I hope you are making the right decision. I really think you should take some more time to decide. And if you do leave him, what about Freya?’

  ‘She will come with me of course.’

  ‘Oh, Jess, that will break Sam’s heart and Freya’s for that matter.’

  ‘Em, don’t even go there, I feel all confused again now.’

  Emma swiftly changed the subject. ‘So is Dan going home today?’

  ‘I’ve got no idea; he fell asleep before we discussed that.’

  ‘And, Jess, what if he hadn’t fallen asleep, do you think you’d honestly be in bed alone now?’ Jess went silent for a minute. ‘Oh, I don’t know. I’m so glad he did fall asleep. I have to resist him, Em. I have to.’

  The friends said their goodbyes, just as Dan came bounding up the stairs. He knocked on the door and Jess pulled the covers up to her neck. ‘Enter,’ she said humorously.

  Dan poked his head around the door and grinned. ‘Morning, Mrs Robinson, can I take a shower?’

  Chapter Sixteen

  Jess shrieked with delight as Dan drove her car, roof down, around the tight country Cornish Lanes. She felt like Grace Kelly, in her makeshift serviette scarf. Dan had pulled on her favourite pink beanie hat. They kept glancing at each other and laughing out loud at their tasteless apparel, as the wind whipped their reddening faces.

  ‘Where are you taking me?’ she shouted above the engine.

  ‘Wait and see.’ Dan smiled.

  They drove for what seemed liked ages and arrived in the seaside town of Polzeath. They parked up and walked towards the sea. The rugged, sweeping beach was amassed with surfers in wetsuits enjoying the first rays of spring sunshine.

  Dan took Jess’s hand. ‘This way I think.’

  They started to walk along the coastal path towards Daymer Bay.

  ‘I just love everything about Cornwall,’ Jess exclaimed. ‘Just look at these views. It really is something else.’

  They stopped along the way to take in the beautiful vista, chatting and laughing as they went. Dan had decided that he was going to go home the next day as Charlotte was flying back from LA. Jess too would leave, as Freya was breaking up from school and she wanted to be there to pick her up. Although Freya would have loved to come down to the cottage, Jess wanted to speak with Sam face-to-face, sooner rather than later.

  ‘So what are you showing me?’

  ‘Look over there.’ Dan pointed to their right.

  In the distance she could see a beautiful little church that looked like it had almost sunk into the grass. Jess smiled broadly. ‘You are so clever remembering that I like old churches, Dan.’ Dan began to reel off some facts about the church.

  She’d forgotten that he always seemed to know something about everything, and she was impressed. ‘This, my dear Jess, is St Enedoc’s Church. Evidently in the 19th century it is reported that the church was almost completely swallowed by the sands of Daymer Bay. Apparently the only way into the church was through the roof! And because of this the church gained the nickname of Sinking Neddy.’

  ‘You should be a tour guide not a web designer.’ Jess laughed.

  ‘Follow me.’ Dan carried on. ‘I’ve got something else to show you.’

  They went through the old gate to the churchyard and Dan pointed to his right.

  ‘Oh my God, I don’t believe it. I didn’t know John Betjeman was buried here!’ Jess shrieked. She looked at his ornate black headstone with interest.

  ‘Jess, stop blaspheming, we are in the Lord’s garden,’ Dan said with mock authority and they both sniggered like school children. ‘Betjeman was renowned for saying his biggest regret was not having enough sex, how terrible would that be?’ Dan smirked at Jess. He then proceeded to climb a grassy bank, and begin his recital.

  ‘Love-forty, love-fifty, oh! weakness of joy,

  The speed of a swallow, the grace of a boy,

  With carefullest carlessness, gaily you won,

  I am weak from your loveliness, Jessica Ann Morley.’

  ‘Pot Pouri from a Surrey Garden!’ Jess exclaimed laughing out loud at his clever interpretation. ‘I cannot believe you just remembered that, Dan Harris.’

  ‘I doctored it especially. I know how much you love your poetry, and especially Betjeman.’

  Jess looked at him and bit her lip, there were tears in her eyes. She took his hands in hers, looked up at him, and their eyes met. They kissed passionately and Jess melted into his embrace. After what seemed like forever, Jess broke away.

  ‘This is the most romantic moment I have ever had in my life,’ she said softly.

  Dan put his hands on her shoulders and looked her right in the eyes. ‘I love you, Jessy Morley.’

  They ran up the path to the cottage, like excited school children. As soon as the door shut behind them Dan grabbed Jess and began to kiss her passionately. She pulled away.

  ‘No, Dan, let’s not.’

  ‘Why, Jess, it seems like the most natural thing in the world? I know now that I love you. I love you with all my heart. In fact if I’m honest with myself I actually don’t think I’ve ever stopped loving you.’

  ‘Dan, I still feel for you too, I fancy you to the core, but it’s just not the right time now.’

  ‘I don’t understand, Jess, I really don’t.’

  ‘Look, I’m still married.’

  ‘Jess, your marriage is a farce; your husband has been having an affair!’

  ‘Yes I know that, but two wrongs don’t make a right, Dan. I have to talk to Sam. I need to do what’s right by him and Freya, and I don’t want us jumping into bed with each other on a whim. It will cloud my judgment.’

  ‘So you might stay with him, is that what you’re saying?’ Dan asked quietly.

  ‘I need to talk to him,’ Jess said, not wanting to admit to herself or Dan her final decision, of which she now actually wasn’t sure of. ‘And you also need to decide if you really don’t want to be with Charlie,’ Jess stated.

  ‘I made my mind up on that, the minute I set eyes on you at your house the other week,’ Dan instantly replied. ‘Jess, it makes sense, we make sense. We’re better together.’

  ‘Dan, please give me some time and respect, to sort my feelings and my life out.’

  Dan took a deep breath. ‘OK, Jess, I will do anything to make life easier for you and I mean that.’

  They slept in the same bed,
cuddling up closely all night. Ten years ago this was all that Jess had hoped for. Ten years on, she now wasn’t sure if Daniel Harris was the man to make her life complete.

  Chapter Seventeen

  The next day Jess waved Dan off, vowing she would get in touch with him when she had sorted everything out. She began her long drive home. She couldn’t deny that she loved being with Dan. They had funand there was a massive attraction, but she felt she had almost been cheated by him too. After the way he had broken her heart. She felt it was too easy for him to just walk right back into her life after all this time, and pick up where he had left off. Ten years was a long time. People changed, and just because hewas ready to settle down with her now, it didn’t mean that she was.

  She pulled into the familiar drive of Fern Cottage. The shrubs seemed greener than when she had left, and daffodils sang their yellow praise all over the front garden. And, there, swimming in the large pond to the right of the house, she suddenly caught sight of two swans. It was at that split second she made her decision.

  She could see Sam hovering behind the glass in the front door. As soon as she opened her door he came running out and gave her a tentative kiss on the cheek.

  ‘Good to have you home. Freya is more than excited that you are picking her up from school.’

  ‘I can’t wait to see her,’ Jess enthused.

  Sam carried her case in and made her a cup of tea, so obviously wanting to avoid the subject of them for as long as he could. He had decided not to mention the broken window incident for fear of worrying her. The police had done as much as measure the footprints and said they were small, so had just put it down to a childhood prank.

  ‘Cottage in good order?’ he questioned.

  ‘Yes, all was fine. It really is so lovely down there.’

  ‘Maybe we should spend the summer down there? You know how much Freya loves it.’ Sam looked at Jess questionably.

  She looked at her caring husband. She did love him dearly. Passion, or no passion, this man had given her so much, including the child she had always longed for. She took in her surroundings. They had worked hard to build this home together, and she soaked up the comforting familiarity of it all. She had been offered sex on a plate by Dan and had decided not to take it. Maybe it wasn’t passion she longed for after all. Maybe Dan Harris had been the catalyst for her this time. The catalyst to make her realise that Sam Beresford actually was the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

  ‘You didn’t answer my question, Jess.’

  ‘Sorry what did you say again?’

  ‘About going to Cornwall in the summer?’ Sam reiterated.

  Jess got up from the kitchen chair, walked over to him, and placed her arms around his neck. ‘How long have we got until I pick Freya up?’ She questioned.

  ‘Couple of hours,’ Sam replied. Jess took his hand. ‘Let’s go upstairs husband.’

  They made love, like they had never made love before. With Sam leaving Jess panting for them to do it all over again.

  ‘Wow,’ he exclaimed as they both lay back exhausted on the bed.

  ‘Sam Beresford, I love you, and yes we can go to Cornwall for the next fifty summers if you want to!’

  Chapter Eighteen

  Jess set off alone to collect Freya from school. She called her sister from the car. ‘Phoebes it’s me, I’m back. It’s just a quickie as I’m on my way to collect Freya.’

  ‘Hiya, have you seen Sam then?’

  ‘I’m staying with him, Phoebes.’

  Jess heard Phoebe’s obvious sigh of relief at the other end of the phone. ‘I am so pleased, Jess. I didn’t want to be too blatant, but I did think you would be a fool not to. To start again at your age wouldn’t be a picnic, I’m sure of it.’

  ‘I am going to make this work, sis, I really am. We actually just had the most amazing sex. I think one of us needed to have an affair to shake us both up.’

  ‘I am so happy for you, Jess.’

  ‘Right I better pick up little madam, I have missed her so much.’

  ‘OK, catch up soon.’

  ‘Mummy!’ Freya came charging out of the school gates. ‘I love you more than a trillion million dollars.’

  Jess caught her in her arms and swung her around. And I love you more than Barbie’s pink car.’ Jess enthused.

  Once Freya was safely strapped in the back seat, she piped up, ‘Are you going to stay at home now? Daddy cried once one night. He said he had a fly in his eye but I know it was because you went away.’

  ‘Yes, angel, Daddy and I are going to stay at home forever and ever now.’

  They all ate Freya’s favourite tea of fish fingers and chips, then played whatever games she wanted to play until she fell asleep in Jess’s arms on the sofa. Sam looked at Jess and smiled. ‘All our own work that one. I think we did a good job don’t you?’

  Jess smiled back at him. ‘Yes, Sam Beresford, I think we did.’

  Jess lifted Freya gently, to carry her up to bed.

  ‘Shall I follow you up?’ Sam winked.

  ‘I think it would be rude not to,’ Jess whispered and smiled.

  Jess’s coughing woke her up. She opened her eyes and realised she couldn’t see. She felt a burning in the back of her throat. She sat bolt upright in bed, then screamed in realisation of what was happening.

  ‘Oh my, God, Sam the house is on fire!’

  They both leapt out of bed and rushed to the door to go and get Freya. Their bedroom was filled completely with smoke. They were both coughing violently.

  ‘Jess, quick as you can, dampen some clothes, we need to put them over our faces.’

  Sam dialed 999. Jess did as she was told. She was even more filled with panic when she heard Freya was shrieking in the next room. ‘Oh my God, Sam,’ Jess screamed. ‘Quick!’

  Sam ran out into the landing. Flames were furiously licking against Freya’s door.

  ‘No!’ Jess screamed. ‘No!’

  ‘Freya, stay where you are darling, Daddy’s coming to get you. Lie flat on the floor, angel, don’t panic, it’s OK.’

  ‘Daddy, I’m frightened!’

  Knowing he couldn’t reach his screaming daughter from the inside, Sam ran back into his bedroom and leapt out of the window, on to the flat roof of the kitchen and then down to the ground. He rushed to the shed, grabbed the ladder and extended it to reach Freya’s room. Jess ran into the en suite bathroom, put a damp towel against the door, opened the window, and stuck her head out. Sam smashed Freya’s bedroom window and lifted the terrified child onto his shoulder. The fire engine belted into the drive, a fireman leapt out and ran up the ladder to meet Sam and the sobbing Freya halfway. ‘My wife,’ Sam wheezed. ‘Back window.’ He could barely speak.

  On hearing Jess’s screams, another fireman had already run around the back of the house with a ladder and whisked her down on his shoulder. With sirens blaring, an ambulance arrived. A group of villagers crowded outside the drive.

  ‘Anyone else in there?’ The leading fireman asked.

  ‘No, we are all out,’ Sam shakily replied. He was ashen. He looked back at their once perfect cottage, and saw that the flames were now licking out of the roof. He knew that it would be a shell by the morning. He walked slowly over to the now sobbing Jess and Freya, who were being tended to in the back of the ambulance.

  ‘My beautiful girls, it’s OK we are all safe. I love you both so very much. Everything is going to be just fine.’ He then suddenly grasped his chest and fell to the ground.

  ‘Sam, oh no!

  Sam !’ Jess screamed. ‘Somebody do something!’

  Chapter Nineteen

  Jess felt like she was having a really bad dream and in a minute she would wake up. The doctor said that it had been a massive heart attack and there was nothing more anyone could have done to have saved him. Jess knew this was true as the ambulance men had done everything possible at the house, and on the way to the hospital, to try and revive him.

  Jess and Fre
ya had both been checked out in case they had inhaled too much smoke, but were both fine. Phoebe and Glen had come immediately to collect Freya, and had booked into a local hotel so that Jess could be with her as soon as she left the hospital. Karl was going to drive up in the morning.

  ‘Can I see him?’ Jess asked the kind young doctor.

  ‘Of course you can,’ he replied softly.

  Glen motioned that he would wait outside for her. Sam was still in a cubicle in Accident and Emergency. She was glad that she didn’t have to go to the mortuary. She didn’t want to even imagine her loving, warm husband in such a cold, austere environment. A nurse held her hand as she walked over to him.

  He looked so peaceful, beautiful in fact, like a sleeping child, as if all the stresses and strains of the past few weeks had just drifted away from him. Jess kissed his cheek.

  ‘Goodbye, angel. Thank you for making me so happy for the past ten years.’

  Silent tears fell slowly down her face. She didn’t want to leave him. The thought of never seeing him again made her go weak at the knees and the nurse helped her to a chair. She too had tears in her eyes. ‘I’m so sorry,’ she said. ‘Can I get you a drink?’

  Jess, now in complete shock shook her head. Glen walked in, took her arm, and gently said, ‘Come on, Jess, let’s go and see Freya now shall we?’

  Chapter Twenty

  The next week was a complete blur for Jess. Karl, Phoebe and Glen helped with the formalities that follow a death and set about arranging the funeral. Hope’s large sprawling house, a pay-off from one of her three marriages, was in the same village that Jess lived. She had gamely turned it into a base to save them all staying in a hotel. Emma had brought a case of Laura’s old clothes for Freya and, as they were the same size, another case of her clothes for Jess. Jess’s dad and Maria had come to visit. They were both devastated, saying more than once that they wished it had been one of them, as Sam still had so much life to live. Charlie, who too was completely inconsolable, had also stayed over for a couple of days to assist.