Better Together

by Nicola May

  Jess could almost see the relief pour through Alex’s body. Alex went to speak and Jess raised her hand to shush her. ‘I want to hear no more on the matter. I’m doing this for Evie and Dan, because I love them both, and not for you. I can’t condone what you’ve done, but I’m a human being and I couldn’t bear to see any child without their mother, and the man I care about, suffering because of it.’

  Jess stood up and brushed down her skirt. ‘Now let’s go shall we?

  ‘Jess,’ Alex said quietly.

  ‘I said no more on the matter,’ Jess replied sternly. Alex ignored her and put her hand on Jess’s arm. ‘I can see why Dan fell in love with you.’

  Chapter Thirty

  ‘Welcome to my new abode.’ Jess gave Emma a welcoming kiss. She had come round for a coffee and natter while the children were all at school.

  ‘Come on then show me round,’ Emma said excitedly.

  Jess glanced sidelong at Emma. She did love her friend dearly and, at that moment, was sorely tempted to tell her about her tête-à-tête with Alex and about Evie being Sam’s, but managed to hold it back. She knew for all concerned that she just had to keep it a secret. Nobody would ever need to know. Two weeks after her meeting with Alex, Jess was delighted to have found a mid-terrace two-bedroom cottage in the same village as Fern Cottage. It was within walking distance to Freya’s school and reminded her very much of Morley Mansions, where she used to live before she met Sam.

  ‘Some of the furniture is a bit questionable I know, but it made sense to rent furnished. I can add in my own bits and pieces as time goes on. Just didn’t want to blow the little bit of money I have got saved just yet.’

  ‘It’s lovely, Jess, I just love all the fireplaces in every room and it already has a really homely feel to it.’

  ‘Bit smaller than I’m used to I know, but plenty of room for me and little missy. She loves her bedroom, mainly because the walls are pink.’

  Emma was delighted to see her beautiful friend so buoyant. Jess continued with enthusiasm.

  ‘I’m all set up on broadband now so even have a link to the outside world. I’ve felt like I’ve been in a bubble for the past couple of months but I’m ready to start afresh now.

  ‘I’m so pleased, Jess, it’s good to see you getting yourself sorted. Have you thought what you are going to do work wise?’

  ‘Well the writing idea has gone out of the window for now. I think to be honest I’m going to stick to what I know and do some freelance event jobs. I don’t want to take too much on because of Freya. I’ve found out the day rates from an agency I’ve worked with before and they are really quite good.’

  ‘Well that’s positive. Maybe you can look at your writing as a hobby and see what happens?’

  ‘Yes, I did think that. Make it fun rather than relying on it. Every little bit of extra cash will help.’

  Just then the phone rang. ‘Sorry, Em, I’ll just quickly take this.’ It was Jonathan, her solicitor. ‘OK, right, understand. Is there anything I need to do?’ Jess fiddled with her hair as she listened intently.

  ‘Oh, Jonathan. That is the best news I have heard in quite some time. Thank you so much for making my day.’ She hung up, grabbed Emma around the waist and danced around the kitchen with her. ‘You’ll never guess what!’ Jess was beaming. ‘The Cornwall cottage was solely in my name. We bought it outright all those years ago. I never even knew. It’s mine, Em, and nobody can touch it!’

  ‘Oh, Jess, that is just fantastic.’

  ‘What a complete relief.’ Jess almost sang. ‘Seagull Cottage is mine, all mine.’

  She ran around again like an excited child.

  ‘Right, tea and carrot cake to celebrate.’ They settled at the kitchen table.

  ‘Now, Jessica Morley, I want to hear all about Prague.’

  Jess liked to be called by her maiden name now. She had decided she would keep the name Beresford for Freya’s sake but, as soon as she could, she would change it back to plain old Morley.

  ‘Prague was fine. It seems like eons ago now.’

  ‘Fine? What sort of description is that, Jess?’

  ‘Well OK it was more than fine. Dan was a complete angel. He treated me like a princess actually: paid for everything, booked the best hotel and best restaurant. He couldn’t have done anymore to make the whole weekend special.’

  ‘I can feel a but coming on though, Jess?’

  ‘Something awful happened actually. It was my own stupid fault really. I said I wanted to go dancing so we queued outside a nightclub for ages.’

  Emma began to chuckle. ‘I can’t even imagine going into a nightclub at our age, Jess.’

  ‘Well, I know that now, but you know what I’m like. I was really drunk and didn’t care. Anyway, some young lads behind us implied that I was Dan’s mother. I can’t tell you how mortified I was, Em.’

  Emma couldn’t help but laugh. ‘Look, Jess, I know I shouldn’t laugh – but it is quite funny in a way.’

  Jess started to laugh too. ‘I know, but on a more serious note, Em, the age gap is big. Dan adores me and says is doesn’t matter, but I think now it does matter to me. When I’m sixty, he will be just forty-four and we both know that is still young. Hope assures me that Botox will save the day, but I want to grow old gracefully, Emma.’

  ‘Wasn’t it you who always said that age had no boundaries in the name of love? Emma prompted. ‘And I think growing old disgracefully will be much more fun!’

  ‘Well OK yes.’ Jess laughed and hesitated. ‘Maybe I just don’t love Dan like I used to.’ She sighed and took a mouthful of tea.

  ‘Don’t get me wrong, the same old electricity is there. I could eat him sometimes. It’s just he’s not on my mind the whole time like he used to be all those years ago. He’s not my world anymore.’

  ‘But, Jess, we are older now. Maybe you are just approaching your relationship in a more sensible fashion. Face it, you were so hedonistic in your late thirties.’

  Jess smiled. ‘And my goodness what fun it was!’

  ‘Anyway he’s coming over this weekend to stay with Evie. It will be really odd to see her again after all these years but I am really looking forward to meeting her. It’s amazing to think she’s thirteen now.’

  ‘God I remember when she was just three years old and you came round mine, tearing your hair out as she was such a little madam.’

  ‘Yes I remember that too. She did used to lead me a merry dance.’ On realising the time Jess jumped up. ‘Right, school run time, we’d better get going.’

  Chapter Thirty-one

  ‘Evie, this is Jess. A very good friend of mine.’ Evie looked shyly at Jess. Her hair was still very blonde and cascaded down her shoulders. Her big blue eyes took up most of her pretty little face.

  Dan smiled at Jess, it had been an effort to get Evie to come and visit, she would have much rather stayed at home in London chatting to her friends on Facebook.

  Freya came downstairs. ‘You’re name’s Evie isn’t it? Do you want to play with my dollies?’

  ‘No thank you,’ Evie replied politely.

  ‘Oh.’ Freya seemed stunned at her refusal.

  ‘Freya, why don’t you take Evie outside and show her your new swing?’ Jess piped up and smiled at Evie. ‘Is that OK darling?’ She couldn’t believe how grown up she was for thirteen, with her trendy hipster jeans and funky T-shirt. Evie nodded and happily followed Freya out to the garden.

  Jess was almost startled at coming face to face with a being whose almond-shaped blue eyes and perfect teeth, so closely resembled those of her dead husband’s. She took a deep breath. There was no mistaking that Evie Meadows was from the loins of Mr Sam Beresford.

  ‘Penny for them?’ Dan smiled and kissed Jess on the cheek.

  ‘Kids eh?’ she said knowingly.

  ‘Get’s harder as they get older,’ Dan agreed.

  Jess sank back into her chair. Here she was happier than she’d felt for a long time:in her new garden with her bea
utiful daughter and a man she loved, but with one big problem. The man in question’s daughter was her own daughter’s half-sister and not his child at all, and she could never ever tell him that. She was usually so honest with Dan that she wasn’t sure if she was strong enough to keep up the deceit. Jess recovered her thoughts and smiled. ‘I thought we’d just stay in and have a barbecue if that’s OK with you?’

  ‘Perfect,’ Dan replied. ‘The house is lovely by the way, Jess. In fact, it reminds me a lot of Morley Mansions. Do you have a spare room by any chance?’

  They both laughed.

  ‘Actually no I don’t, our daughters are in it tonight!’ On saying these words, she realised a third little person could be running around her garden and a look of sadness crossed her face.

  Dan, ever perceptive, put his arm around her.

  ‘Not a year goes by without thinking what would have happened if I’d had the baby, you know,’ Jess said softly. ‘I think now how perfect it would have been for Freya to have an older sister or brother.’ As she said these words, she realised that in fact Freya was now playing with her older sister and openly shook her head at the bizarreness of the situation.

  Dan bit his lip. ‘But Jess, it was the right decision at the time, and who knows what path your life would have taken if you had gone through with the pregnancy.’

  She walked over to the kitchen window and watched the girls playing on the swing outside. With her back to Dan she continued. ‘It’s bitter sweet you coming back into my life, Dan.’ She turned to face him. ‘It really pains me to think that if I had gone ahead and had the baby then you probably would have come back anyway, so I went through all of that torment for nothing.’

  ‘Never look back, Jess,’ Was all Dan could muster. ‘Life is a rollercoaster, if we all lived on ifs and buts then we would never move forward with anything.’

  ‘Oh I know that, but it was one of the hardest decisions I had to make and I feel it was the wrong one now.’

  ‘Only regret the things you don’t do, Jess, and just think you may never have had Freya.’

  ‘That is a good point, Dan, and I could never imagine life without her.’ She also realised then that it was actually Dan who had lost out. If she chose to spend her life with him, although he would of course never ever know it, it would be him who would never have a blood child of his own.

  Dan lifted the somber mood. ‘Now come on, Jessy Morley. Let’s get out in that sunshine. I’ll help you light the barbecue.’

  Freya and Evie, now bored with the swing, were making a camp out of an old table, they’d found down the bottom of the garden, and some dust sheets from the shed.

  ‘Bless Evie for humouring Freya, I’m sure she’d much rather be with kids of her own age,’ Jess stated, craning to see if there were any more resemblances.

  ‘She’s a good girl,’ Dan stated.

  ‘Does she remember me do you think?’ Jess enquired.

  ‘I don’t think so now. It was weird, because when we did split up she did ask if she could come round and see you on numerous occasions. That was really hard to deal with actually.’

  ‘I used to miss Evie terribly. God that whole time was just awful. And now look at us, who’d have thought it,’ Jess replied and poked Dan playfully in the stomach with her finger.

  Dan smiled. ‘Poor you, I can’t believe how I treated you. I was so young then that I didn’t think things through logically. In hindsight, we did move in together far too quickly. I didn’t even think of poor Evie’s feelings. My great big male ego got in the way I guess, and I selfishly just thought of myself.’

  ‘Oh it’s OK, Dan. I was so blindly in love with you that I didn’t see sense to put a halt to it anyway.

  Dan took a gulp of his wine and looked at Jess intently. ‘And are you blindly in love with me now, Jess?’

  Before Jess had time to answer there was a scream from down the bottom of the garden. Freya came charging up to the patio area where Jess and Dan were sitting.

  ‘It bit me!’ Freya cried.

  Evie soon followed. ‘I think it was a wasp, Jessy,’ she said in a matter of fact voice.

  After administering ice cubes and sting relief cream, Freya calmed down and went off to continue her camp building with Evie.

  ‘Right, Daniel Harris, be a man and get that barbecue lit please. I shall open some more wine.’

  The afternoon sped by. The evening drew in and Evie and Freya, already the best of friends, went upstairs to watch a DVD. Jess and Dan sprawled on either end of the sofa, Jess’s legs resting on his lap. ‘Have you heard from Charlie lately?’ Jess enquired.

  ‘Just a really quick call, to see how I was doing and that was that,’ Dan replied. ‘I know I won’t hear from her again. We are history now. You?’

  ‘She made a flying visit to Hope’s just before I moved in here. She seemed fine, albeit in denial about Sam’s actions though. She really can’t believe he was such a bastard.’

  ‘So will you tell her about us?’ Dan said.

  ‘Dan, there really isn’t anything to tell at the moment, is there?

  Dan shifted on the sofa and breezed over Jess’s comment. ‘No, no I guess not,’ he spluttered.

  Jess carried on. ‘Let’s just enjoy each other for now and see what happens eh?’

  ‘That sounds like a plan to me, Jessy Morley.’

  ‘What time do you have to head back tomorrow by the way?’

  ‘Probably around lunchtime. Alex is having Evie for the next couple of days and I need to drop her to her.’

  ‘How is Alex by the way?’ Jess asked breezily.

  ‘She’s good actually. She married Rob. The guy she met straight after me and they’ve got two boys together now. Evie loves him and her stepbrothers, so that makes life easy. We are really good friends now and she seems happy.’

  ‘Oh well that is good, especially for Evie,’ Jess said, far too exuberantly, hoping that Dan would never ever find out what she knew, as it would most certainly destroy him on two counts: the first that Evie was not his and the second that she had betrayed him so greatly, in her knowledge of that fact. ‘Right, let me open a bottle of red. It can breathe while we get those girls to bed,’ Jess suggested, untangling herself from Dan’s legs.

  Dan followed Jess into the kitchen. He put his arms loosely around her neck. The old electric current flowed between them and Jess smiled at him openly.

  ‘In answer to your question of earlier: Yes, I do love you, Daniel Harris.’

  Dan hugged her tight, kissed her forehead, and gently sighed. Just loving him wasn’t enough. He wanted Jessy Morley to be so in love with him that she would never ever let him go.

  Chapter Thirty-two

  Emma waited until Monday night to phone Jess. ‘So come on spill the beans, how was the weekend? Fireworks or damp squibs?’

  ‘Well he slept on the sofa so there were certainly no fireworks.’

  ‘Oh,’ Emma said, slightly shocked.

  ‘No it’s all good. He thought it best for Evie not seeing us together in the same bed the next morning.’

  ‘Well, well, at least ten years has made him a bit more respectful.’

  ‘Yeah, that’s what I thought,’ Jess replied. Every time she spoke to Emma she still found it really hard that she couldn’t tell her about Evie’s parenting, but realised again that it was for the best. The fewer people who knew, even if she trusted them explicitly, then the less of a chance there was of Dan ever finding out.

  ‘What’s Evie like now?’ Emma said.

  ‘Well she’s turned from a screaming brat into a charming young lady. She is really well-mannered and seems kind and balanced. It was a pleasure to spend time with her.’

  ‘Well, that’s lovely. And how was Freya with her?’

  ‘Couldn’t have been better, despite the age gap they still played together very well. We are all going down to Cornwall for the first two weeks of the summer holidays.’

  ‘Ooh, hark at you. You sound like a family alr
eady.’

  ‘Oh Em, I do love him very much but I’m so frightened of getting hurt again.’

  ‘Well just enjoy the moment for now, Jess. It’s not like he’s proposed or anything is it?’

  Chapter Thirty-three

  Freya was beside herself with excitement. ‘Mummy, how many sleeps 'til we go to Cornwall with Evie and Dan?’

  ‘No more, darling, as soon as you finish school today we are going to be on our way.’

  ‘Yippeeeeeee.’

  Jess laughed. ‘I love you a million zillion two trillion dollars.’

  Freya squealed. ‘And I love you more than cola bottles.’

  Dan pulled up outside Jess’s house. Evie waved frantically at her through the window. ‘Jesus, we’re only going for two weeks,’ Jess exclaimed as he opened the boot.

  ‘Well I thought we could maybe go camping, I’ve packed a tent!’

  ‘Camping!’ Jess exclaimed.

  ‘It’s OK, Jess, you won’t have to use a chemical toilet or anything nasty like that.’

  Jess laughed. ‘I can’t wait to get down there.’

  ‘Nor can I. Now get in the car and let’s go get that baby girl of yours from school.’

  It was getting dark as they arrived at the cottage. Dan unpacked the car as Jess opened all the windows to let out the stuffiness. The girls ran upstairs squealing to choose their bedroom.

  ‘OK, Mrs. Robinson?’ Dan enquired as he dumped the last of the cases in the hallway. ‘More than OK thank you, Mr. Harris. For the first time in months I actually feel like I’m home.’

  The girls awoke early. Dan and Jess still sleepy from last night’s passionate lovemaking, groaned.

  ‘Evie will see us in bed together,’ Jess stated.

  ‘Its fine,’ Dan replied. ‘I explained that we would probably be sharing a bed here, as we were very good friends.’