Some Kind of Perfect (Calloway Sisters #4.5)

by Krista Ritchie

  Log Cabin

  Aspen, Colorado

  CONNOR COBALT

  “I don’t feel well, Daddy,” Jane whispers so softly I just barely catch the words. Sitting on the edge of her twin bed, I pull a stitched quilt to her neck, a thermometer in my left hand. She’s warm but no fever. I wipe her runny nose with a tissue, fatigue weighing down her eyelids.

  I kiss her forehead. “Je sais, mon cœur.” I know, my heart.

  She’s not the only one sick on this trip.

  Lo had a cold since yesterday on the private plane to Colorado. He quarantined himself in the back cabin, but the illness still seemed to spread to Jane and Daisy.

  Last night, Lo deliriously and mistakenly texted me. I was sitting across from him in the living room of our rented log cabin. Bundled in blankets and empty tissues boxes, he made what Lily called a “sick nest” for no one to near.

  Didn’t mean to get you sick on your 23rd. Who has worse luck: you, me, or my brother? – Lo

  His text was meant for Daisy. We all took off work this week to celebrate her birthday. We don’t always go somewhere around February 20th, but this was a good month for us to leave work behind.

  I replied to Lo: I don’t believe in luck, darling.

  He didn’t even realize that I texted him. His phone slid from his hand, thudding to the floorboards, and he fell into a weak, tired sleep.

  Jane shivers beneath her covers. I stroke her damp hair, and while cold medicine combats her symptoms, I try to ease her to sleep with history about Eleanor Roosevelt, her namesake. If I leave out a detail, she usually points out that I skipped a part, and she’ll argue until I retell the history from the beginning again.

  Rose said that Jane reminds her of me.

  I said that Jane reminds me of her.

  Rose and I determined that we’re alike in many ways, and so it’s no surprise that our children will be too. Lily then interjected, “You’re the same nerd stars you’ve always been.”

  I watch Jane try to shut her eyes, but she forces them open as I reach the 1920s in Eleanor’s history. She loves this section because of how animated and passionate Rose becomes when relaying the 19th Amendment and how Eleanor joined the League of Women Voters. Rose paints women as the superheroes they are, and she bolsters this truth until our daughter believes she is one too.

  No matter how much Rose and I are the same, we’re also drastically different. And I can never replace Rose in Jane’s heart.

  I skip one detail to see if she’s listening.

  Jane misses this, eyes glazed and staring at the quilt that’s not hers. We’re in a place that she sees as strange and foreign. This isn’t the first time she’s been sick, but it’s the first time she’s cognizant of the illness, of what it means to be sick. So for Jane, this feels like the true first time.

  Tearfully, she says, “I want Mommy.”

  I lift Jane out of the bed and hold her in my arms. She cries softly against my chest. Her tears. Her illness. It’s all temporary. It will eventually end, and no matter how much I think it, this misery she experiences for the first time in her life overcomes me.

  I don’t stand up. I can’t bring her to Rose. I’ve already told her why. Rose is six-months pregnant and can’t risk catching a fever. Through these circumstances, Jane lost the option to be comforted by her mother, and this frightens her, maybe even more than being sick.

  Rose is always there for Jane. For everyone.

  I brush Jane’s tears with my thumb, her arms around my neck. For any adult, I’d be able to supply what they need, but children have wishes that drift into fantasy.

  She sniffs and mutters, “Can…can you make my nose stop?”

  I wipe her nose with another tissue.

  “Pour toujours?” Forever?

  My lips rise for a short moment. “You’ll feel better when you close your eyes and sleep. Would you like me to stay for a while longer?”

  Jane nods repeatedly, rubbing her eyes. “Please, Daddy.” She coughs a little, but not as much as she did during the evening.

  I tuck her back into bed, her PJs mismatched Cheetah print pants and pink plaid top. And I whisper close to her ear, “I love you.”

  She mumbles quietly an I love you too and then tries to shut her eyes. I stay seated on the edge of her bed, my hand on her arm. The darkened room is decorated in cabin décor, mostly fish-patterned items like a rug, a lamp, even the knobs on a dresser are shaped like trout.

  Thirty minutes in this room and the second twin bed has been empty the entire time. Quilt rumpled to the bottom. I notice the warm glow of light beneath the bathroom door, but no sound has come from there.

  Daisy is sharing a room with my daughter, so Jane wouldn’t be scared alone and so Daisy wouldn’t pass the cold onto Sullivan.

  I don’t jump to irrational conclusions.

  Most likely, Daisy is awake and downstairs. It’s around 5:00 a.m.—and I can’t always discern whether or not my sister-in-law sleeps more than she used to. I don’t live with her anymore, and Frederick is too moral to offer information about her therapy sessions.

  As much as I care about Daisy’s health, I have no real reason to pry. No advantages. Nothing at stake. So I haven’t in a while.

  Jane has finally shut her eyes, soft breaths through her parted lips, so I quietly stand. She never stirs or wakes.

  I pull my navy shirt off my head, soaked in tears and mucus, and I walk to the bathroom. I plan to wash my hands before I return to Rose.

  Ping.

  Ping.

  Ping.

  Cell notifications.

  Then my phone starts buzzing with texts.

  Wonderful. Anytime there’s a sudden onslaught of messages, I’m not being presented with good news. I type in my passcode and then graze over the email notifications from my publicist, a Cobalt Inc. board member, and investors.

  Naomi Ando 5:04 a.m.

  How would you like me to respond…

  Steve Balm 5:04 a.m.

  Ridiculous. I’m contacting the company lawyers…

  Kent O’Neill 5:05 a.m.

  Hi Mr. Cobalt,

  How will this (link below) affect future investmen…

  My brows slightly furrow in intrigue, not panic. I rest my arm on the bathroom door and click into a tweet:

  @Lalipop2476: Connor Cobalt’s hot-as-fuck father *heart eyes* #wefoundhim

  I don’t want to waste time thinking about Jim Elson. I send a quick reply to Naomi and then click into several texts my wife sent me from the room next door.

  How is she? – Rose

  Is she sleeping? If she needs another blanket, I have one here for her. Does she need anything more? – Rose

  If you’re deleting my texts, you’ll be making a bed for yourself on the floor, Richard. – Rose

  I begin to grin, but then I see the next text has no relation to our daughter.

  Twitter has lost its mind. – Rose

  I take her word for it and pocket my phone.

  I push into the bathroom. I expect to see nothing out of the ordinary, but I didn’t factor in a variable: the most likely outcome isn’t always the outcome that happens.

  Daisy is collapsed next to the toilet, cheek on the tiles, blonde hair splayed over her eyes, dressed in yellow cotton shorts and a long-sleeve top.

  Quickly and as soundlessly as possible, I rush to Daisy’s side and crouch over her while taking out my phone. I do what I would want Ryke to do if Rose were in this situation.

  I dial his number.

  “Daisy,” I say gently. I put my hand to her forehead, my phone to my ear. She’s much hotter than Jane, and I roll her onto her back. I smell vomit in the toilet, and just as I put my fingers to her neck, her eyelids flutter open. Like she’s waking from a sleep.

  “Connor?” She yawns and then cringes, probably at the taste in her mouth.

  Ryke answers on the fourth ring. “What?” He’s not as groggy as most people would be.

  “Don’t yell or stomp
around,” I say, hearing the squeak of his bed as he stands up, “but Daisy is sick in the bathroom—” He hangs up on me.

  I know he’s on his way because I know him, but he could’ve at least used his words.

  Ryke acts the exact opposite of how I would most of the time, and convincing him to follow my logic is like telling a wolf to sleep in a lion’s den.

  There’s no point in trying anymore. He does what he does. He is who he is. And I’ve grown to like him best that way.

  “I can help you stand,” I tell Daisy as she recollects her location. Her skin is pale and clammy.

  “I fell asleep,” she says with another yawn. “I got sick, and I just conked out. I didn’t faint or anything.” She tries to pick herself up, hanging onto the toilet seat.

  I assist her, my hand on her waist.

  “You probably shouldn’t touch me,” she says softly and slowly. “I accidentally… I think I gave Rose strep throat when I was seven…you should’ve seen her…” She blinks and blinks. “Rose…she acted like she’d been damned with the bubonic plague. And she’s pregnant now…” Daisy weakly attempts to push me away.

  She looks like she’s patting a couch cushion instead of swatting me.

  “Unfortunately for you, I don’t know how you feel.” I see puke in strands of her hair that I’m positive her husband will help clean. “I lived in a boarding school as a child. I was subjected to most common pathogens, so I have a stronger immunity than most people.”

  Daisy smiles weakly and almost topples onto the toilet. I catch her and lift her back up. She hangs onto my shoulders for support.

  “Of course you do,” she says sluggishly. “You’re Connor Cobalt—”

  The door quietly but swiftly opens, Ryke storming through with unbridled concern. I let go of Daisy the same time she turns into her husband’s arms.

  Ryke holds her face and puts a hand to her forehead. “What fucking happened? Are you okay?” While she explains in an agonizingly slow manner, I have to squeeze past them to reach the sink.

  I turn on the faucet and start lathering my hands and wrists with pine-scented soap.

  Ryke flushes the toilet and puts down the lid. Daisy takes a seat, shivering and feverish, blinking like she’s trying to make sense of everything. I’m certain she’s not entirely coherent.

  “I should’ve never let him…in my room. Or that house…” Daisy shudders.

  Interesting.

  I dry my hands with a towel and lean against the sink counter. Ryke stands above her with furrowed brows.

  “Who the fuck is him?” Ryke growls.

  “…What?” Daisy presses the heel of her palm to her temple. “What’d I say?”

  I repeat it since Ryke’s version will be riddled with unnecessary fucks. “You said you should’ve never let ‘him’ into your room or that house.”

  She licks her dry lips. “…the townhouse. When Princesses of Philly was going on…you were there.” She looks up at me.

  Ryke’s darkened eyes set aggressively on my calm, unwavering expression.

  “Relax,” I tell him.

  “What were you doing in her fucking room?”

  “No, no,” Daisy says and winces at herself. I’d guess for bringing this subject up at all. If she didn’t have a fever, she probably never would have. “He interrupted…him…us.”

  I understand. “She’s talking about Julian.”

  Ryke lets out a heavy breath and rakes a hand through his thick, disheveled hair. And then his eyes meet mine in apology.

  I nod once. “You should’ve listened to me. Ninety-nine percent of your problems would go away.”

  He flips me off. “Ninety-nine percent of my fucking problems are you, Cobalt.”

  “It’s strange…whenever you say fuck, I miss half of what you say. Which is every time you speak. Actually, it’s not strange at all. I call it a choice.”

  He flips me off with both hands.

  My grin widens, and I fold the hand towel and set it aside.

  “Thank you.” That’s not Ryke. It takes me a second to realize she’s speaking directly to me. “…you knew, didn’t you? Back then, you knew I didn’t want to do anything…with him. And so you interrupted us…on purpose.”

  I remember it clearly like I remember most everything. I knocked on her door, hearing her with Julian, and when I saw her reaction, which she tried to conceal, I knew she’d rather be anywhere but there. I waited until Julian left, and Daisy and I never spoke about that moment ever again.

  That was five years ago.

  “I did,” I admit.

  “Thank you,” she repeats, eyes welling, maybe from exhaustion. She trembles, and Ryke rubs her arms but he looks to me.

  “I never knew that.”

  “What would it have changed?” I don’t see it affecting our relationship, which has been up and down and side-to-side and one of the more difficult things to read.

  His nose flares, and he shrugs.

  Daisy is so lost in thought that she just asks aloud, “Have you ever been in a bad relationship that you thought wouldn’t stay with you…but it did?”

  I shake my head at the same time as Ryke.

  Daisy’s gaze drags to the tiles. “Sometimes I feel like…the people I chose clawed into me…and it’s impossible to erase the marks they made.”

  Ryke hugs Daisy almost immediately, and she reciprocates, burying her head in his chest. I leave them alone, just as another text buzzes.

  I’m checking on Jane. – Rose

  Don’t. I’ll be back in less than a minute. I reply, glancing at my daughter, still asleep, as I exit into the hallway.

  Only one room away, I open the next door to find Rose propped up against the wooden headboard with a multitude of hand-stitched pillows. Cellphone in hand.

  She reaches over and tugs on the bear lamp, illuminating the room. “Updates.” She raises a manicured nail at me. “And you are so lucky I am this pregnant or else I’d already be out the fucking door.”

  By this pregnant, she means that her stomach is much rounder, her curves visible in her black silk robe. Nearing the bed, I can tell how much her back aches. The baby kicked her awake last night, so she hasn’t been sleeping well.

  “Richard,” she snaps.

  “I’m assessing you.” I sit on the bed by her feet.

  “Excuse me? Don’t assess me. We have a sick daughter, and a one-year-old with gastrointestinal disruptions, also known as intense midnight diarrhea.” Beckett. I smile at the way she sits straight and eases forward like she wants to cram the words inside my eardrums. “And not to mention our other one-year-old that already knows forty-words and chooses to say wrong more than hello.” Charlie.

  “Anything else?” I go to massage her foot.

  She jerks it out of my hand, her toe pointed at my throat in threat. “I’m seconds from decapitating you.”

  I arch a brow. “With your toenail?”

  She growls. “Richard.”

  “Rose.”

  “Are we a team?” she asks, and my grin fades.

  “Of course.”

  “Then treat me like I’m on the motherfucking field and not sidelined because of this.” She points at her abdomen. It was never my intention to make her feel benched. “I’m perfectly capable of hearing news and handling it with you in ways that I still can.”

  “You are,” I agree. “I wasn’t implying that you weren’t.” I touch her foot again, and she lets me bring it to my lap. I massage her sole, and she relaxes against her pillows. “Just so we’re clear,” I add, “I’m never going to act like you’re not pregnant when you are.”

  “I wouldn’t want you to,” she says beneath her breath, right when I knead a knot in her foot. She inhales like there, right there. I apply more pressure, and her chest collapses.

  When our eyes meet, she glares. “I hate you.”

  I smile. “Jane is fine. Both Beckett and Charlie were still sleeping when I checked on them. And your sister has a fever.�
�

  Worry crosses her face and she sits straighter. “Which sister? And what do you mean by fine? You couldn’t have picked a more descriptive word? There are literally millions and you choose fine?” She crosses her arms.

  “Daisy. And fine generally means okay. Acceptable. Passing. Do you need more synonyms?”

  Rose narrows her eyes. “I find your diction unacceptable and infuriating.”

  “I find your response redundant and attractive.”

  She tries to hide a smile by rolling her eyes. “Really, Connor, does she need anything?”

  I can’t tell Rose that Jane called out for her. She’d stubbornly try to see our daughter, and it’s not worth the argument. “She’s asleep. She’ll feel better in the morning.”

  Rose takes a moment to let this idea settle in. I kiss her ankle and then move closer, sliding my hand up the length of her leg.

  Rose watches me with piercing yellow-green eyes. “Are you still assessing me?”

  I harden by the ice in her words. “I already know all there is to know.” I reach her thigh and kneel between her legs, untying the loose knot of her robe. She stubbornly knocks her knees together and anticipates me yanking them apart.

  I do.

  I adore the flash of I hate you, Richard in her flaming gaze.

  Rose rubs her lips together like she’s smoothing lipstick. I pull her down so she’s not sitting straight up, and her heat presses against my erection.

  She gasps and then glares. “That noise was not for you.”

  Blood pools in my cock. “If not me, then who?”

  Rose tilts her chin. “The air.”

  It’s hard for me to believe that between air and me, air is superior. Frederick would remind me that I’m not herculean, but I’m certainly better than most people and most things. Without much of a pause, I say, “Air doesn’t take precedence over me.”

  “Oxygen is necessary to sustain life,” she combats.

  “Oxygen can’t think. Oxygen can’t solve conflicts. Oxygen is necessary for survival, but it’s incomparable to me.”

  Rose mutters something about my narcissism, but I distract her as I finish untying her robe. The silk slips off her curves like water. Naked beneath, I hone in on the swell of her stomach, her shallow breath, and the fullness of her breasts.