Shadow Shifters: Damaged Hearts, The Complete Series: Mine to Claim, Part of Me, and Hunger for You

by A. C. Arthur

  Maybe I was being cruel and just a little unfair, but there was nothing fair about this world, about the hand we’d been dealt and there was no sense pretending it was. We, Lidia and I, were two of a kind, jaguar shifters from the Topètenia tribe. We were both born in the Gungi rainforest, which was nestled deep in the Amazon rainforest. Our native language was Portuguese, our personalities were volatile to say the least, our job, to live amongst the humans protecting them from the more dangerous of our kind. And while on the outside we may look like any other Hispanic citizens of the United States, we were not like them and never would be. It was the one point in which Lidia and I had chosen to disagree.

  Another point was that I was in love with her and ready to claim her as my mate, while she was determined to run as fast as she could in the opposite direction. Waiting her out was proving to be a test of my patience and of my sanity as she’d hugged me so tightly and so close to her body I could think of nothing but sinking deep inside her and staying there until I exploded.

  Giving her those three months alone had been one of the hardest things I’d ever done. Far worse than the most strenuous of training, but it had been necessary. For both of us. I believed with every fiber of my being that Lidia and I not only belonged together, but would eventually be together. But she didn’t, and I needed her to feel that sense of loss, to wonder how she would feel if the three months were permanent. Even if I never intended for them to be.

  “That’s what big brothers are for,” she’d said while we were walking in the parking lot, just before pushing past me.

  I was grateful for the fresh air because being close to her never failed to cause instant heat. But the word “brother” and the way only Lidia could say it was like a bucket of cold water being tossed in my face. I followed behind her as she walked through the parking lot, no doubt looking for my truck. My eyes were glued to the sway of her perfectly rounded ass and I wasn’t about to apologize for it. Lidia had what some might call an athletic body, toned in all the right places, enticingly tight in others. I thought it was perfect because her breasts were just the right size to fit in the palm of my hand—although I’d yet to indulge in that pleasure. Her ass was round enough to fill out her jeans in a mouthwatering fashion and everything else was fit and trim because of all the running she did, in human and occasionally in cat form. She was also a vegetarian, but I tried to forgive her for that misstep.

  “I’m parked over here,” I said when she was about to turn left.

  I didn’t look at her as I spoke, but towards another line of parked cars to my left. There were five of them, all dark colored, two older models, one convertible, one with visible damage from some type of collision. There were no humans over there, no noises coming from that direction, and still I stared, unable to look away.

  “Are you sure?” she asked coming to stand beside me, her nose crinkling as it always did when she frowned.

  “It’s my truck, I should know where I parked it. Come on,” I said, grabbing her by the hand and pulling her along beside me. Whatever had drawn me to look at those cars, lost in the much more appealing sight of Lidia Morales.

  Even though I was a lot taller than her she’d never failed to keep up her stride when we walked. When she was younger this had been funny, seeing her out of the corner of my eye, stretching her legs until she almost tripped to keep up with me, that familiar ponytail of hers bobbing back and forth with her motions.

  After we were seat-belted and heading out of the student parking lot, she asked, “So why’d you decide to ditch the roommates this time?”

  I shrugged, making the right turn onto the winding road that led down the hill and away from Faust University. “I need my personal space for when I decide to walk around naked.”

  Lidia laughed immediately, a simple yet alluring sound that I hadn’t realized until this second, I’d missed over the past few months. “You do not walk around naked!” she said, still chuckling and looking out the window.

  “I do now that I live alone. We can confirm that when we get there,” I told her, 100 percent serious about getting naked when we both arrived at my apartment.

  Part of the reason I rented the place was so that when—not if, because I refused to believe that it would not happen—Lidia and I finally made love, I didn’t want anyone overhearing us, or restraining us. Optimistic should have been my middle name.

  “You will keep all your clothes on while I’m there,” she replied jokingly. “I’ve seen your ass more times than I need to.”

  She had, just as I’d seen some pretty strategic parts of her, but that had been when we were teenagers and not so much once the puberty bug hit us both and we’d made our first shift. From the time she’d turned sixteen and I was seventeen, and we were in the forest or someplace where we could shift and run freely in cat form, Lidia had found a place where she could change out of her clothes without me watching. What she didn’t count on was my excellent imagination, which had given me countless hours of enjoyment.

  “Aw, come on, you don’t want to have any fun anymore.” I continued with the joking atmosphere because I figured that would be easier for her.

  Lidia, for all that she could be extremely impulsive and was known for her quick temper and even quicker right hook, could clam up as tight as a shell in areas she didn’t want to tread. She and I, on a personal male/female level, was definitely a no-enter zone. At least for now.

  “Whatever, seeing you naked is not fun.”

  She’d said it. I’d heard it. But I don’t think either of us was really convinced by her words. I kept my head turned away from her so she wouldn’t see my smile.

  “You heard from Aidan or Caleb lately?” she asked after she’d been silent for about a full minute—almost a record for Lidia.

  I shook my head. “Aidan’s training with Rome, where he should be finally. Got a text from him a couple of days ago saying things were going fine and that my dad was ecstatic that he was there.”

  “I cannot believe Rome let him bring that girl with him. Or rather I can’t believe Aidan has a girl he’s serious enough about to cart hundreds of miles around with him.”

  “She’s his mate. How could he have left his mate?”

  Lidia didn’t reply.

  “Rome and all his Faction Leader duties couldn’t compete with that, no matter how angry it made him,” I told her, but the conversation was over.

  Probably the moment I mentioned mates, because that was something Lidia neither wanted to discuss with me or to claim for herself. It just simply wasn’t in the plan she’d made for her life. Unfortunately, her excluding it from the plan wasn’t going to stop what was meant to be.

  Just like I had no intention of letting her ridiculous misgivings about our relationship stop me from doing everything in my power to get her in my arms. Another man might have taken the three-month hiatus to find another female. To a certain extent, I did, or rather, Kyra had found me. At any rate, Kyra wasn’t and would never be a substitute for Lidia. There was only one woman for me and I’d given her more than enough time to figure that out.

  This time around, Lidia would be mine no matter how hard I had to work to convince her.

  ***

  “You have a really big bed,” Lidia commented when she was standing at the foot of my “really big bed,” looking down at it like it was some kind of demon.

  I chuckled. “It’s a bed for a big guy, with big things.”

  “Could you get any more conceited?”

  I didn’t answer because she’d walked out of the room. I did, however, remove the sweatshirt I’d been wearing, keeping on my T-shirt despite my “going naked” comment to her.

  “So this is the bachelor pad,” she was saying as she walked past the entertainment center with all the equipment I’d purchased. That and the black leather sofa were the only furniture in what would eventually be my living room.

  “It’s my place for the time I’m here.”

  When she looked up at me, h
er hand poised over a picture of me and my brothers, I felt like an ass, because she looked like she wanted to cry. Not that Lidia Morales would ever cry, for any reason. Still, she looked really sad and I knew it was because I said I didn’t plan to stay here in Pacifica.

  “I know this is our senior year,” she began. “One of the instructors said I had a really good chance of being accepted for that internship at the charter school in L.A.”

  She reached up, tucking her hair behind her ears as she talked, looking at me expectantly. I didn’t want to say it, didn’t want to rain on her parade, but there was no way around it. There was a plan for us that was much larger than school or internships.

  “That’s great news, Lid. Really good news, but you know we have to leave after graduation,” I said in the most neutral tone possible.

  Lidia was shaking her head before I could finish speaking. “No. You know that’s not what I plan to do. I’m not going back for the final training and testing. I’m going to become a teacher.”

  We’d been over all this before. I listened while she talked, heard all her hopes and dreams and knew exactly why she’d put so much energy into them. But the fact was they didn’t change anything, at least not to my way of thinking. I wanted to say that to her, to yell it if necessary, whatever it took to get her to understand. But I wouldn’t do those things because I cared about her too much. The last thing I wanted to see was the look of hurt in her eyes, not again, not ever again. “I know, Lidia. You can teach, I’m not saying that you can’t. But we have other responsibilities,” I tried instead.

  “I don’t want them. I didn’t ask for them and I don’t need anybody dropping them at my feet,” she protested.

  Her hands had fallen to her sides, fingers clenching and unclenching, brow furrowing. She was getting fired up. Her eyes taking on another look entirely. The golden glint sparked as she stared back at me. I loved that look, loved how it never failed to shoot straight to my groin and make the cat inside roar with need. What I didn’t like was that the look was accompanied by her tearing down the tribe and its expectations of us.

  “Look,” I said, moving closer and rubbing my hands on her shoulders. “Why don’t we order a pizza, watch some movies, and just chill for tonight. I’ve missed you like crazy.”

  It was the truth. I’d thought of her every second of every day she was away. Every other hour I had to convince myself not to get in my truck and drive to L.A. to be with her. She’d needed space. It didn’t matter that I’d needed her to breathe, that each second without her had been like a knife to my chest. Lidia was an intelligent shifter, she was strong, and she was fierce when opposed. I knew we belonged together and I knew I would never stop until I had her. I was also smart enough to know that there would be no happiness until Lidia came to all those conclusions on her own. She sighed, looking up at me the same way she used to when we’d raced to see who could climb a tree the fastest. I always won, knowing she’d be ready to kick my ass if I didn’t give the race my all. She’d always been deflated but determined to try again. That undeniable spunk had been one of the first things I’d noticed and enjoyed about Lidia.

  “I missed you too, you big jerk,” she replied, swiping a hand over my chest. “Why didn’t you visit?”

  Her hand had been warm and I wished like hell she’d left it on my chest, but she’d pulled it away knowing what her touch did to me, trying desperately to ignore it. That hadn’t worked. I could tell by the way her fingers continued to move as she placed them in her lap, she wanted to touch me again and again. Damn, but I wanted the same thing. I wanted it almost more than air.

  “You said you needed space so I gave it to you,” I said simply.

  “And you found Kyra in the meantime,” she finished with a nod.

  See, another thing I knew about Lidia was that she was passionate about however she felt about a person. If she hated someone, they’d better watch the hell out. If she loved them, it was till the death. And if she was jealous, damn, it was almost as good as if she’d just admitted she loved me. “Yeah,” I replied with an exaggerated sigh and smile. “I found Kyra.”

  “Hooray for the lovebirds,” she quipped, walking away and dropping down onto my couch, the TV remote already in her hand. “I like ham and pineapple on my pizza.”

  I tried to hide a grin but it was pointless. I liked the jealous Lidia, almost as much as I loved the Shadow Shifter one. “And extra cheese. I know what you like on your pizza, Lidia,” I told her while pulling my cell from my pocket to speed-dial the pizza place.

  I knew everything about Lidia, loved everything about her, wanted all of her, needed her in the absolute worst way. My patience was waning, the cat inside threatening to take over this conquest, ready at a moment’s notice to reach out for its mate and hold on tight.

  ***

  I was asleep for all of fifteen minutes before Lidia began crawling up my body. We’d started out sitting side by side, then about ten minutes into some crying-in-the-rain chick-flick I was dozing off. She’d slapped me in the chest, threatening to break my ankles if I didn’t watch the entire movie. To prove her point, she’d pulled my leg up onto hers. Of course I didn’t complain. I didn’t stay awake either, but I didn’t complain.

  That was the last memory I had before I felt something soft and warm brush past what was steadily becoming a very happy erection. Cracking one eye open I could see the top of her head lying on my chest, one hand wearing the plain sterling silver band on her thumb—actually I felt that since a circle of warmth was now pooling there.

  As for my erection, it was her knee that was now inching even farther up between my legs. I swallowed first, counting to five in my head before attempting my next move. I could just sit up and wake her, give her a ride back to her dorm, and come back home like the good “big brother” she liked to think I was. Or I could …

  I brushed my hand over her hair. It smelled heavenly, like fresh berries and flowers and it always looked so silky as it hung past her shoulders. My hand moved down her back, feeling the steady rise and fall as she breathed. As softly as I could and with as much control as I’d been taught, I cupped the ass I loved staring at. One cheek rested in my palm and my dick pressed painfully against the zipper of my jeans, my teeth clenching. Inhaling deeply, her scent seeped into my nostrils causing my blood to pump fiercely.

  She moved, rolling slightly so that now she was actually on top of me, her breasts on my chest, her crotch aligned perfectly with my dick. I couldn’t do anything but palm both my hands on her ass.

  “Brayden.” She whispered my name, looking up at me with sleep-hazed eyes, lips slightly parted and damn kissable.

  So I did the only thing I could, I lifted slightly until our faces were close and my lips could finally touch hers. The kiss was hot and brutal because that’s how I felt right now. I wanted her more than I wanted my next breath. My dick wanted out of these stupid fuckin’ jeans and inside her hot little pussy, as soon as absolutely possible.

  “Stop, Brayden. Dammit, stop!” she said in a louder, much more coherent voice than a half-asleep person should have.

  In the next instant she was pushing up off of me and I was left lying there with a hard-on and what was probably a dumb-assed look on my face.

  “I have a boyfriend, Brayden,” she said, pulling her shirt down and straightening her hair. “And you have Kyra.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?” I asked trying to sift through the haze of arousal and the sudden pang of irritation. “I don’t have Kyra, we were just hanging out.”

  That didn’t sound too believable and frustration was eating at me like a disease. Frowning, it was my turn to rub a hand down the back of my head. “I mean, I don’t want Kyra and you damn well know that!”

  “You wanted her all summer when you were making a point to stay away from me,” she tossed back, her fists clenching at her sides.

  Dammit, now she sounded angry that I hadn’t come to see her or called, or whatever. I thought sh
e’d wanted the space so I’d given it to her. Now, I had no goddamned idea what she wanted.

  “Look, this is ridiculous. We belong together, Lidia. We’ve been together for as long as either of us can remember. You with someone else, me with someone else, it just doesn’t fit. It’s not the way it was meant to be.”

  “Stop talking to me like I’m part of some grand plan made by some higher entity that has no freakin’ idea what it’s like to be me.” She opened her mouth to say something else, then stopped, swiping both hands down her face while taking a deep breath. “You and I are best friends. That. Is. All.”

  “You don’t believe that any more than I do and I’m tired of playing along with your little fantasy.”

  “I have a boyfriend, Brayden.”

  “You have me,” I said through clenched teeth, my shoulders tingling with the need to shift, to stand on my hind legs and roar with the pain searing through me at her words. “You will always have me.”

  She didn’t reply; instead she watched me with eyes that had begun to fill with tears. I ached with the pain so clearly etched on her face, its stench reaching up to strangle me it was so intense. This was what I didn’t want, what I couldn’t handle seeing. She shook her head and backed away, heading towards the door. I wanted to grab her, to hold her close and refuse to let her go, but I didn’t. I couldn’t cause her more pain, I’d never forgive myself if I did, and she was gone before I could second guess my actions. Just like the last time.

  CHAPTER 3

  Lidia

  I’m an idiot.

  A horny, brain-damaged, and sleep-deprived idiot and I was going be late for my first day in Computer Concepts for Teachers if I didn’t move a lot faster. I’d overslept, which, before this summer, had been unlike me. This time when the nightmare had awakened me and I’d instinctively reached for my cell phone to call Brayden, I’d immediately recalled kiss #2 that was even hotter than kiss #1, which even though it happened three months ago was still wreaking havoc in my mind. Why did he keep kissing me? And why did those kisses keep getting better?