Mail Order Bridesmaid

by Emilia Beaumont

  He moved like time didn’t mean a thing. Like we had eons of pleasure to experience, and there was simply no rush.

  Every so often his jaw tightened, then relaxed as he pulled out, only for him to slide right back inside, making my back curve.

  Together we made slight movements, light friction, that seemed to drive us both insane with the need for more. It sent tantalizing surges of ecstasy out to every corner of my body, all the way to the tips of my fingers and the top of my head. The hair on my arms practically stood on end, and I could see Sebastian’s bulging upper arms were also peppered with tiny goose bumps. And it wasn’t because of the cold.

  We were aglow in our embrace, getting hotter with every sensual lick, nibble, or loving thrust.

  I let my head fall back, eyelids fluttering, and my eyes rolling, as his cock stroked the full length of my channel, his groin grazing my clit.

  “No, baby… look at me,” Sebastian said softly, though his voice was strained. “Look at me. I want to watch you come undone.”

  I licked my lips and lazily opened my eyes again, as yet another blissful wave began battering at my door. I was so close to coming apart again, but having Sebastian watch me was crossing yet another threshold. Another intimate line that I could never take back or uncross. I closed them again not wanting to let him see me like this… It seemed like all my emotions, fears, and desires were converging on this very moment, completely overwhelming me. I felt alive and helpless all at the same time, safe yet at a loss. Unanchored and drifting.

  His lips pressed against my lids, with feather-softness. One then the other. Then moved to the corner of my eyes as the salty tears overflowed. He kissed them away.

  But perhaps in Sebastian’s arms, with him loving me, I could be okay.

  Gradually light shone through, and I opened my eyes a crack. His face transformed, full of love and adoration. Fully open now, I wasn’t afraid anymore. I stared into his depths and let him take me. Swallowing me whole.

  * * *

  A light knocking stirred me the next morning, after many more hours of lovemaking, bolstered by the food Sebastian ordered and had delivered.

  We’d devoured the sushi in bed, and even at one point, Sebastian decided it was much better to eat the parcels of rice, delicate morsels of mouth-watering sashimi from my body while in bed. I couldn’t stop giggling as he licked and used his tongue to scoop up the food that jiggled on my belly.

  Morning crept through the gaps at the side of the drapes, and I wondered if the knocking had just been in my imagination. Sebastian was face down with only part of the sheet covering him… I had most of it wrapped around me. He lay spread-eagle, his shoulders, back, and one butt cheek that I longed to bite, were exposed. I almost leaned over and gave into temptation, opening my mouth to take a nibble, when a sound in the apartment made me freeze.

  The knocking hadn’t been my imagination after all. Not only that but whoever was out there had let himself in too. I clutched the sheet tighter to my chest and began to shake Sebastian’s shoulder hard.

  He muffled a groan and turned his head in my direction. “Anna? What is it?”

  I pointed to the door and whatever or whoever lay beyond. “Noises… someone out there.”

  Sebastian’s forehead crumpled into lines. He twisted around and sat on the edge of the bed, wiping his eyes.

  “Are you sure? I don’t hear anything,” he said. I quickly shushed him as something clattered in the apartment. His pupils dilated, and he leaped into action, finding a pair of boxer shorts and pulling them on.

  “Stay here,” he warned as he approached the bedroom door.

  He slipped out of the room, and I sat rigid on my side of his bed. It was funny how the righthand side had somehow become mine in a few short hours, yet it also felt like the most natural thing in the world.

  First, there was silence and I strained to listen, hoping he was all right. A building like this, it would be highly doubtful that there would be any break-ins, but I was on high alert regardless.

  I sucked in a breath, silencing myself further, making sure not to rustle the bedclothes as muffled voices found their way to my ears. I recognized Sebastian’s cadence, his tone getting louder. Then an equally angry voice, female, high and shrill, responded. But I still couldn’t understand what they were saying.

  Unable to resist any more I gathered the sheet around myself, holding it tight in place at my chest and approached the door, intent on only opening it a crack. But the door swung open too wide, and I was revealed like an impromptu magic trick before Sebastian and a woman.

  “What the hell is she doing here?” the woman screamed at me. Her face was crimson but I instantly recognized her as Sarah, Sebastian’s ex, the same woman who’d practically thrown a tantrum at the airport the day before. But this time she was wearing a lot less. A discarded black trench coat was draped across the back of the couch, and Sarah in extremely high peep-toe heels, stood in a dark purple basque, complete with skimpy panties and garters.

  Even if I had a response to her question, there was no way I would’ve been able to, what with my mouth gaping open.

  Sebastian turned from Sarah to me and back again. Stuck in the middle of the living room. Stuck between the pair of us. If this had been any other time, this probably would’ve been a fantasy come true for him.

  Obviously, though, she wasn’t expecting competition or a surprise ménage. Looking over to the kitchen island and the breakfast items that hadn’t been there before, Sarah had come over with a plan… feed Sebastian breakfast and have some morning, make-up nookie.

  “That is none of your business!” Sebastian replied finally making a move. He reached for Sarah’s coat, extended his arm and offered it to her.

  “I’m not going anywhere!” Her eyes pierced mine, trying to wither me away but I was too surprised to move or even respond. Then her gaze dipped to my chest, to the hand that was clutching the sheet. To the hand that now held the most magnificent ring I’d ever had the pleasure of wearing. “Holy hell,” Sarah breathed. “You actually bought her a ring?”

  Sebastian could only shrug in confusion. “Sarah, I already told you that—”

  She turned on him, furious. “I thought you were kidding! I thought this, all this, was a ruse to get me to come back to you,” she said as she waved a dismissive hand in my direction. “And it almost worked didn’t it? I’m here. Tell her to leave. I don’t care, just make her go.”

  Sebastian’s Adam’s apple moved thickly in his throat. With the ruffle of her trench coat, he wrapped it around Sarah and then held her upper arms, his back to me. He whispered something I couldn’t hear.

  Was he telling Sarah to go? Or reassuring her that he still wanted her?

  Oh god…

  I stared, my stomach twisting, making me feel like I was going to throw up. I should’ve known he still had feelings for her. From what little information I had, they’d only recently broken up. Maybe Sarah was right… maybe this had all been a ploy to get her back. And I was brought here to be used as a prop, an inconsequential item in their little melodrama. The ring probably wasn’t even real, I thought, as I glanced down at it.

  Because who in his right mind gave an engagement ring to an absolute stranger on the first day that he meet her? Why hadn’t I thought of this sooner?

  Oh. Because of those dreamy eyes, that physique, and the way his lips had set me alight when he’d kissed me down there.

  I was a fool. Pure and simple.

  I needed to stick to the plan, get the money, save my gran from eviction, then get out. Disappear from his life like I was never there to begin with.

  Because he wasn’t mine. Never was. And never would be.

  Eleven

  Sebastian

  “Sarah, I’m sorry, but this is exactly what it looks like.”

  I wasn’t fond of making women cry and now was no exception. Especially when my words were causing Sarah, someone I thought I’d loved, to look at me like that. Her ey
es brimmed with watery emotion. She sniffed as if trying to suck them back in, trying to prevent them from falling down her cheeks.

  “Don’t say that,” she mumbled, most of her fury now gone. “Please?”

  The words in my throat, that two days before I would never have thought I would ever say to Sarah, felt like they were about to choke me. I couldn’t break her heart and watch her crumble in front of me. But then I remembered the woman standing behind me, most likely watching how this would all play out. Wondering why my half-naked ex was letting herself into my apartment when I’d just proposed and given her a ring.

  Sarah’s lip trembled, then as if her dwindling fire had been doused with an accelerant, sparking new life, reinvigorating her anger, she shook her head, not wanting to hear what I had to say and began to back away. Her heels—that in the past had driven me to my knees—clacking on the tile floor.

  “Don’t say another word,” she spat out. Perhaps if we’d been younger she would have also clamped her hands over her ears and shouted “I’m not listening” at the top of her lungs. But Sarah still clung to her dignity as she bolted from the room.

  I spun to look at Anna, torn whether or not to go after Sarah. But Anna was no longer in the doorway to the bedroom. I had a split-second to decide. Go after Sarah and make sure she understood and that she was okay? Or retreat to the bedroom, like a coward?

  I wasn’t the prick everyone thought I was, I still cared for Sarah even if it wasn’t in the way she wanted… and I had to make her realize that just because I hadn’t said it was over didn’t mean that it wasn’t true. There was Anna to consider now. Besides, she still had a key to the apartment, and I wanted it back.

  I took the step forward and ran after Sarah hoping I could catch her before she made it to the elevator.

  * * *

  “Leave me alone,” Sarah hissed. She buttoned up her coat and jabbed a manicured finger, calling for the elevator even though the light was already glowing.

  “Just wait, will you?”

  “You made it perfectly clear, Sebastian. You’ve moved on. I don’t know why I’m so surprised. I was a fool for coming.” She paused, waiting for me to respond. My mind searched around for something to say, anything that would stop her from hating me. “Well? Are you just going to stand there?”

  “I thought this was what you wanted? You were the one that left me, remember? But as soon as I find someone else, you come here, let yourself in dressed up in very little…”

  Sarah bit her lip, determined not to look at me anymore. She stared at the cold steel surface of the closed elevator doors.

  I let out an exasperated sigh. Why was I out here, trying to explain myself to someone who obviously did not want to listen?

  “Look, Sarah. I didn’t mean to hurt you… that was actually the last thing on my mind—”

  Now she pivoted my way, a remnant of hope dawning on her face. “What exactly does that mean?”

  Despite my better judgment, I told her. “Maybe it started out as a way to get you back, but things have changed.”

  “Within what, a day or two? I don’t believe you.”

  I shrugged, how could I possibly explain all the ways that Anna had touched me, and not just physically. She’d somehow managed to, in the space of a few short hours, ingrain herself onto my soul. We didn’t need words, not when we seemed to communicate on another level. Though I’d already decided that I would find a course and learn some Russian. It was only fair.

  “What if,” she started, “maybe we could continue seeing each other? You know, see how it goes? Have that open relationship you wanted… see other people?”

  Was she offering up what I thought she was? For real this time? No more guilt if I so much as flirted with someone else? Was she caving just to win me back? The temptation was almost too great. Especially since I knew exactly what she was wearing beneath that flimsy coat. In two steps I could have her against the wall, her coat splayed open, my cock inside her.

  I could eat my cake and have it too.

  The elevator arrived. A quiet but pensive ding echoed through the hallway, breaking my train of thought.

  Sarah did not hesitate and stepped in right away, deliberately putting distance between us. Was she trying to show me exactly what I would be losing if I let her go right now? She pinned me with her gaze, her expression as blank as a champion poker player’s.

  “Last chance, Sebastian,” she said evenly. But her mask faltered when she drew her tongue across her bottom lip. She tilted her head, her eyes heavy with desire. She was trying to reel me in, using every trick in the book to get me to cave… she knew fine well I couldn’t resist her when she’d looked at me like that in the past.

  I wouldn’t have been surprised if she’d started to strip right there, trying to tip me over the edge. And by god, it almost worked. The effect of her gaze was alluring, and I felt myself stiffen.

  I shook my head. It was time to let her go. For good this time. We’d never worked, I could see that now.

  The doors juddered on their tracks, sliding along. The rectangular viewfinder of Sarah standing there, wanting me, began to disappear.

  Then I shot out my arm in between the doors.

  Groaning, the elevator mechanisms halted then retreated.

  Sarah’s mouth turned up into a triumphant smile, and there was no mistaking the light that had come back into her eyes, wider and no longer watery. The cat that had got the cream. She wet her lips again.

  “Sarah…” I said and continued to hold my hand out, palm facing upwards. “I need my key back.”

  Twelve

  Anna

  Furious, I closed myself in the bathroom to think. I knew that if Sebastian was to come back I didn’t want to see him. At least not right away. Not in my fragile state. Not since he’d left to go after her.

  From the safety of the bedroom, I’d heard the front door close with a heavy thunk, the apartment settled, like a shroud had been draped across the whole place, muffling any sound. Tentatively I’d called out to him, but he wasn’t there. He’d made his choice and chased after Sarah. Leaving me behind, my head full of questions, buzzing as if I had a bee stuck in my ear.

  It was then I’d thrown the latch and jumped into the shower, letting the water splash on my face to hide the tears. If I pretended I didn’t care, or that the spray running down my cheeks, my body, and swirling down the drain didn’t also contain my misery, then maybe I would be okay.

  I reminded myself I’d been through worse and that this, him, being here, was all a means to an end. I wasn’t supposed to fall in love. I let out a guffaw, followed up by a pitiful whimper. Love… this couldn’t be love. One didn’t fall for someone in the space of a few minutes. This wasn’t a fairytale or a movie, and I certainly wasn’t Meg Ryan or a cartoon princess.

  The temperature of the water dropped as I wrenched the dial to the far left. I needed to be cold, harden my heart to stone, and get the job done. The sudden change shocked my now-shivering body. My lungs expanded forcefully as I tried to draw in a breath. But I endured the freezing spray, my punishment for being so damn stupid. It was as if I thought I could cool my desire for Sebastian too, plunge the silliness that I’d gotten so carried away with into a bucket of ice water. Freeze it so it would be easier to manage, my emotions less messy in that state.

  What it did instead was make me angry. I wrenched the shower off and lunged for a towel from the rack, wrapping it around my body, trying to get my shakes under control.

  “Anna?”

  I sat on the lid of the toilet and closed my eyes, even if my teeth weren’t chattering I had no wish to speak to him. To let him explain as men always tried to do when they knew they’d done wrong. Try to tell me it was all in my head, that the pretty ex who’d turned up half-naked, ready for sex, wasn’t his idea of a perfect, saucy morning.

  “Anna? Are you in there?”

  I bit my tongue. Of course, I’m in here you fool! I wanted to shout. Where else would I
be?

  The doorknob rattled but finding it locked, Sebastian stopped his efforts.

  “I want to explain, Anna. But I’m not going to have a conversation about this through the door. Come out, will you?”

  I heard him let out a loud sigh when I didn’t reply. “Okay,” he continued, “I get it. You need your space. I have to get to work though. I really don’t want to leave us like this, especially after an amazing night. But we’ll talk later?”

  Despite myself, I found myself nodding. It had been a fantastic night and I did want to talk to him. Fling open the door and forget this morning’s interruption. He had come back after all. It wasn’t as if he’d chased after her and stayed away. But who knows what he had said to her… what had he promised Sarah?

  He moved away and I heard the runners of the chest of drawers open, then close. After a few minutes, he was back, his shadow disrupting the bright line across the floor at the base of the bathroom door.

  “I’d really like to get in there and clean up, but I guess you’re not going to let me in or come out? Good thing there’s a shower at the office.” He gave a half-hearted chuckle. “Anna, at least let me know you’re okay? I’m not leaving until you do.”

  “Please go. I’m okay,” I replied quietly, hoping to keep the emotion that had bottled itself up in my throat at bay. But at the last word, my voice cracked and I slammed a hand over my mouth. Thankfully he seemed not to notice.

  “Good. I’ll be back later. And for what it’s worth I am sorry about all this.”

  * * *

  As soon as I heard him leave I got dressed and started to plan my next move. I had the cash Sebastian had given me and was determined to make good on my promise to Mr. Kershaw at the care home. It wouldn’t clear the balance, not by a long shot, but it would make a small dent and prove to the manager that I was good for the rest. A few more weeks of playing house and stringing Sebastian along would do the trick.