Sasquatch in the Paint

by Kareem Abdul-Jabbar

  When they were done, Theo called his dad and asked if he could stay home. Because Theo hadn’t missed any days so far this semester, Marcus agreed to call the school and let them know Theo would be absent today.

  “What about Brain Train practice? And basketball practice?” Gavin said. “Tomorrow’s the big day.”

  “I’ll study the Aca-lympic manual this morning, and in the afternoon I’ll kick your butt in one-on-one at the park.”

  Gavin laughed. “Man, you’ve really let this Sherlock Holmes crap go to your head. Fortunately, I’m here to give you a reality check.”

  Theo was true to his word. He studied in the morning, then worked on his basketball moves with Gavin. This behavior wasn’t like the old Theo, but he had come to realize that, given the things he’d done lately, he’d grown out of that Theo the way a snake grows out of its old skin, sheds it, and leaves it behind forever.

  The “new Theo” came to some decisions about what he would do tomorrow that surprised even him.

  WAS that really Mr. J standing in front of the Brain Train? Theo wondered.

  His hair was cut even shorter, heavily gelled, and combed straight back like a porcupine. He wore a black suit, yellow shirt, and red tie as shiny as an ironed eel. No one at the school wore a suit or tie, not even the teachers or administrators. This was California, dude.

  “We missed you at practice yesterday,” Mr. J said to Theo.

  “Sorry,” Theo said. He didn’t mention anything about being sick or make any other excuses. He was tired of lying.

  “No worries. I assume you used some of the time to study the manual in preparation for today?”

  “I did,” Theo said truthfully.

  “Excellent.” Mr. J rubbed his hands together like he was about to eat something delicious. “Shall we get on with the showdown? Constance versus Theo in the Crackdown in the Classroom! Get reaaady to rummmmmble.”

  Constance squirmed nervously in her seat. She glanced at Brooke, who grinned triumphantly at Theo.

  Daryl raised his hand. “Mr. J, did you have a stroke or something?”

  Everyone laughed. Except Brooke.

  “Why do you ask, Daryl?” Mr. J said.

  “Your hair. Your clothes. Your…you.”

  Mr. J looked surprised. “You don’t like my new hippie clothes?”

  “Those aren’t hippie clothes, Mr. J. Hippies don’t wear ties and suits.”

  “So, I’m not a hippie now? What am I, then?”

  Daryl shrugged. “To tell you the truth, we’ve been asking ourselves that question for a couple years now.”

  Everyone laughed again. Except Brooke.

  “You look a little like a mobster,” Daryl said. “Like in The Godfather.”

  “No,” Brian disagreed. “More like a heavy-hitter businessman in Wall Street.”

  “Leo in The Aviator,” Tunes said.

  They threw around a few other movies before Mr. J held up his hands to silence them.

  “I’m sure you’ll eventually figure out what movie I belong in. But for now, we have a showdown to get to. A Battle of the Brains. Combat of the Craniums. War of the Wits…”

  He might have gone on like that much longer (he had an unusual love of alliteration), but Theo stood up, interrupting him. “Mr. J?”

  “Yes, Theo?”

  “I’ve decided to concede my position on the Brain Train to Constance. I think she deserves it for her dedication and knowledge. She will be a great asset to the team. If it’s okay, I’ll take her place on the alternate team until I prove myself worthy again.”

  Mr. J looked out at the rest of the team.

  Only Constance and Brooke showed any surprise.

  “This is some kind of trick, Mr. J,” Brooke said. She looked at Theo suspiciously, as if she thought he might have water balloons stashed under his shirt.

  “How does this trick work, Brooke?” Mr. J asked. “What does Theo gain?”

  Brooke’s face reddened as she tried to figure out Theo’s brilliant plan.

  “Anyone else want to comment?” Mr. J asked, looking around at the others.

  No one spoke. Theo had already informed Tunes and Daryl of his decision before the meeting. He’d told Brian last night. They’d all tried to talk him out of it, but Theo had made them understand that he was doing the right thing. At least he thought it was the right thing, and that’s all he could hope for.

  “Nothing?” Mr. J asked. He turned and smiled at Theo as if he’d been expecting Theo to do this all along. “Well, well,” he said. “Remember, Theo, ‘No sensible decision can be made any longer without taking into account not only the world as it is, but the world as it will be.’”

  Theo stood up, thanked everyone, told Mr. J he’d be at the practice for the alternates, and started out of the room. Just before he exited through the door, he said to Mr. J, “That quote is from science-fiction writer Isaac Asimov.”

  And then he left.

  “THERE’S an actual crowd out there!” Weston announced as the team dressed for their game.

  “What do you mean by ‘crowd’?” Roger said. “Like six people instead of the usual three?”

  Sinjin laughed and they bumped fists.

  “More like fifty.” Weston pointed at Theo. “Your pals from the Brain Whatever are there.”

  Theo hurriedly tied his Nikes and ran over to the locker-room door. He opened it a crack and peeked out. Brian, Daryl, Tunes, and Constance were sitting with Mr. J. No Brooke, of course. Brian made a goofy face for Constance and she laughed. Go, Brian, Theo thought.

  He was about to close the door when he saw Rain climbing the bleachers. With her were her aunt, uncle, and cousin Text Girl. Ni’ja looked appropriately bored and inconvenienced, but she marched up the bleachers as her parents directed her. As soon as she sat down, she whipped out her phone and began stabbing the screen with her finger.

  On the bottom bleacher, right behind the team table, in his crisp blue uniform, sat Theo’s dad. Beside him in her pin-striped suit sat attorney-at-law Miranda Sanjume. She whispered in Marcus’s ear and he laughed.

  Seeing his dad laugh made Theo smile.

  “Heard you quit the Brain Strain,” Chris Richards said. He’d walked up behind Theo so silently that Theo jumped when he heard the words.

  “Brain Train,” Theo corrected as his heart thumped crazily in his chest.

  “I know. I’m just messing with you.”

  Theo grinned. He’d never heard Chris crack a joke before. “Actually, I didn’t quit. Just dropped down to the alternate squad.”

  “What happens if you get kicked off the basketball team? Can you get your old position back?”

  “I don’t know. I don’t think I’d try. Wouldn’t be fair to Constance. She’s the girl who took my place.”

  Chris nodded solemnly. “Guess you’d better keep your place on this team, then, huh?” Then he walked away.

  Theo ran as hard as he could after Number 5, a.k.a. Gorilla in a Jersey. If Theo was long and gangly like a giraffe, this kid was as thick and powerful as a gorilla. Worse, he was also fast. He was four feet in front of Theo when his feet hit the paint. His long arms stretched up as he called for the ball: “Open! Open!”

  Gorilla’s teammate saw him in the open and threw a long pass from half-court. Gorilla easily snagged the ball and made a layup just before Theo finally caught up to him.

  Score: Lemon Hill 8, Orangetree 4.

  As Coach had warned, the Lemon Hill boys were bigger than Theo’s team. Theo was still the tallest player on the court, but almost every other player from Lemon Hill was taller than everyone on the Orangetree team. Most of them looked like they had mustaches coming in and even some chin whiskers. Theo wouldn’t have been surprised to learn that they all had arrived here on motorcycles.

  Their coach, a former Brigham Young center, was taller than Theo. He’d taught his team how to use their size, and that’s exactly what they were doing. Nothing deliberately rough, just good body placement.


  That’s what Gorilla was doing now to Theo.

  Theo backed toward the basket, one arm outstretched for the ball. Just as he had done in practice. But Gorilla planted his powerful body behind him, and no matter how much Theo tried to push back or slide around, Gorilla held his ground.

  Sami lobbed the ball to Theo. Theo, unable to get closer to the basket, passed it to Chris.

  Theo wrestled for a better position and called for the ball again.

  Chris passed the ball in to Theo.

  Theo deliberately dribbled more than he ordinarily would, in the hopes of drawing Chris’s defender to double-team him.

  Chris’s defender took the bait and lunged to steal the ball from Theo.

  The rest of the plan was for Theo to toss the ball to the unguarded Chris, who would shoot the ten-footer.

  But suddenly Chris’s defender slapped the ball away in Theo’s mid-dribble, and Lemon Tree grabbed the loose ball and charged up the court to their basket.

  Score: Lemon Hill 13, Orangetree 8.

  Theo sat on the bench, toweling the sweat from his face.

  He was starting to dread that today’s game was going to be just like every other practice and pickup game he’d ever played. With him looking like a fool and causing his team to lose. What had he been thinking? He’d quit Brain Train (okay, dropped to the alternate) in order to focus his attention on basketball. He figured that not having Brain Train as a backup would make him give his all to this game. Unfortunately, his all was crap.

  “Get ready, Theo,” Coach said. “You’re going in.”

  Theo sighed. Really, Coach? Haven’t you figured out yet that this plan isn’t working? But he said nothing, just waited for the next whistle for him to go back in.

  “Hey, Sasquatch!”

  Theo turned, looked up into the bleachers.

  Rain waved. “Use those ginormous feet to kick some butt!”

  Theo smiled. At least he could still smile, despite a tsunami of humiliation.

  The whistle blew and Theo went in for Thomas Farley. They slapped hands as they passed.

  Gorilla was waiting for him with a grin. He gestured for Theo to stand beside him.

  Then from the stands, Theo heard Rain start chanting, “Sasquatch! Sasquatch! Sasquatch!”

  Theo’s dad and Miranda joined in: “Sasquatch! Sasquatch! Sasquatch!”

  Others took up the chant: “Sasquatch! Sasquatch! Sasquatch!”

  Theo didn’t know what to do with that. Sure, it was flattering, but it also heaped a couple hundred tons of extra pressure on his shoulders.

  After Roger missed a desperate three-pointer, Lemon Hill easily grabbed the rebound.

  Gorilla broke free and sprinted for his basket. This looked like it was going to be the same play as before, with Theo running as hard as he could but still trailing behind by four feet. He had to do something else.

  He looked over his shoulder and saw Chris swarming Number 8, who had the ball. Chris put such pressure on him that he stopped dribbling. Now he had to pass. Roger, Weston, and Sinjin were doing a good job of blocking their guys, so they couldn’t receive the pass.

  The point of being tall is to use it, Gavin had said. But that didn’t mean Theo had to stop using his brains. He didn’t have to rely only on being tall. Basketball was a lot like chess—pieces with different skills moving around a confined space. You just had to play it on the run, the way Mr. J had taught them.

  Theo looked over the basketball court and imagined it as a chessboard. Suddenly he had a crazy idea. He deliberately slowed down, letting Gorilla widen the gap between them. With enough distance between him and Theo, Gorilla also slowed down. Theo turned and saw that Number 8 was in trouble.

  “Chris!” Theo called.

  Chris quick-glanced at Theo, and then at Gorilla.

  Everything depended on Chris understanding what Theo was doing.

  Chris did. He eased his defense, giving Number 8 the chance for a long pass down the sideline. Gorilla saw this and cut for the sideline. Number 8 threw the ball in a high arc.

  Just as Theo had planned.

  Theo dashed for the sideline. True, Gorilla was faster. True, Gorilla was closer to the hoop. Once he caught the ball, he’d be able to jog in for an easy, unopposed layup.

  But as the ball started to drop out of its arc, Theo, in full run, leaped as high as he could. His long arms stretched up, up, up. He intercepted the pass, landed, fired the ball to Chris. Chris bounce-passed to Roger, and then set a pick on Roger’s defender. Just as Roger slid to the side behind the pick, Chris rolled off and ran straight to the hoop. Roger threw the ball to Chris, and Chris laid it in for two points.

  The crowd on the Orangetree bleachers hollered and stomped their feet.

  Theo saw his dad cheering and clapping.

  Rain had her hands cupped around her mouth and was shouting something that got lost in the general cheering. But from her expression, Theo knew it was something good.

  Score: Lemon Hill 22, Orangetree 20.

  Theo was in the paint again.

  Gorilla was blocking him out. Again.

  Theo was too far away for a layup. He lowered his body and tried to nudge Gorilla backward. No go.

  This was the exact position they’d been in the last time, when Lemon Hill had stolen the ball from Theo.

  Theo raised his hand for the ball and Weston lobbed it in. Unable to get a good shot, Theo dribbled to draw off Chris’s defender. The defender, remembering his last success, took a couple steps toward Theo in an effort to steal the ball.

  Theo immediately rocketed a pass to Chris. But Chris’s defender was tall and quick. He was instantly in Chris’s face, making a shot impossible.

  They’re chess pieces on a board, Theo thought. Don’t just use your height to play, use it to fool them.

  Theo raised his hand again. “Chris! Chris!” There was more urgency and confidence in his voice than ever before. He knew exactly what to do.

  Chris looked at Theo, seemed to recognize the change in his voice, and lobbed it over his defender into Theo’s hands.

  Theo stared at Chris and gestured with his head what he wanted Chris to do. Theo wasn’t sure if Chris understood, but he hoped so. Otherwise, this was going to be a major fail.

  Theo went through the usual motions, dribbling and backing in, though there was no actual backing in against Gorilla. Suddenly he spun around, as if to toss up a hook shot. All the players looked up as Theo’s huge hand soared above them.

  There was no ball there.

  He’d tucked it in the crook of his left arm.

  Chris grabbed the ball from there as he ran around Theo’s left side. Like an expert purse snatcher on the run.

  Theo came out of his fake hook and slid to the left. Chris’s defender slammed into Theo’s back, sending Theo face forward into Gorilla’s granite back. Theo flopped down to the ground in a daze.

  As he fell, he turned enough to see Chris toss in an easy bank shot.

  Score: Lemon Hill 26, Orangetree 26.

  In the movies, games like this are always tied and come down to a final shot with two seconds on the clock. In the movies, Theo would take that shot. In the movies, it would go in and they’d win.

  That’s not what happened here.

  Despite Orangetree’s best efforts and the enthusiastic cheering from the crowd, Lemon Hill won by a comfortable margin: 38–30.

  During the remainder of the game, Theo had tried a few more innovative plays with his team. Some worked. Some didn’t.

  Yet again no one hoisted Theo onto their shoulders and carried him around in triumph. Roger and Sinjin didn’t come up after the game to beg forgiveness for the horrible way they’d treated him. Chris didn’t high-five him and promise that they’d be best friends the rest of the season.

  Instead, Coach said, “Good game,” to all of them, talked about how awesome they’d all played, and finished with, “See you all at practice on Monday.”

  And that was that.


  But to Theo, it was the happiest day of his life.

  TWO weeks later:

  “Have you ever actually touched a basketball before?” Theo asked. He had suggested basketball as part of Brian’s weight-loss plan.

  Brian bounced the ball awkwardly in front of him. First with one hand, then with both hands. “Let me think,” he said. “Gerry Turner threw one at my head in third grade, remember? Technically that means my forehead touched a basketball, so my answer is yes.”

  They were standing on the court at Palisades Park. Most of the courts were empty, because it was too early for the pickup games. Theo was teaching Brian how to shoot. Brian hurled the ball at the basket as if it was a rotten melon he was trying to get rid of. The ball hit the bottom of the net, then bounced onto the grass.

  “Nothing but net!” Brian said triumphantly. Theo smiled.

  It had been an eventful two weeks since the Lemon Hill game.

  Theo had taken his place with the alternates on the Brain Train, helping the first team prepare for next week’s match against Lansing. He was glad to have some of the pressure off of him while he pursued basketball.

  In the Ravens’ next game, against Turtle Rock Middle School, Theo had been so “in” the game that he was actually surprised when the final buzzer sounded. He was also surprised by his performance: he’d scored six points, assisted on eight others, and blocked three shots that caused turnovers. They’d won, and Coach took them all out after the game to celebrate. Over pizza they clinked root-beer mugs to toast Chris Richards, who had scored a career high of eighteen points. Roger had passed a basket of onion rings to Theo without sneering or saying something sarcastic, so there was hope even there.

  Gavin had taken Theo and Rain to watch Wild World record one of Gavin’s songs at a studio. Wild World had signed demo CDs for Rain and Theo.

  Theo’s dad had started dating Miranda. They were making plans to drive to L.A. for a concert of some Motown tribute band that Theo had never heard of. The three of them had eaten out together a couple times. Once, Miranda complained about how a judge had treated her, and Theo and his dad made her put a dollar in the BIB jar. She’d laughed as she’d stuffed the money in, which was a good sign.