Ryan's convulsive hold on Jamie's waist woke her abruptly an hour later. She's twitching as bad as Duffy does when he sleeps, she mused with a little smile as she gently patted her arm. Boy, I hope that's not a normal occurrence, she added with a start. I could get bruised from those big muscular arms grabbing me all night.
As soon as those words hit her brain Jamie's stomach clenched nervously. I can't get nervous every time I think of her touching me! she complained to her balky stomach. I want her to touch me, she argued with herself. I really do! she added to the part of herself that scoffed at her previous statement. It's just that I'm anxious about the physical part. After a pause she admitted, Okay, okay, I admit that's a pretty big part. But I know I won't have much trouble loving her in every other way. She's just so easy to love, she thought with a contented smile. She's so easy to talk to and share things with. I know we'll be okay as long as we can keep doing that, she thought decisively. She'll help me figure out how to love her physically. She giggled quietly as she added, At least I picked an expert!
Just before dawn Jamie awoke to feel the most exquisite sense of contentment she could ever remember. She was pressed up against her friend's warm side and she smiled to herself when she felt Ryan's fingers tangled in her hair. Ryan was lying on her back and to Jamie's intense interest her robe had opened slightly during the night. The right half of her tempting left breast peeked out at Jamie and nearly begged to be touched. She felt an overpowering desire to do just that and felt herself almost automatically give in to the pull. Her hand moved slowly toward its target, being careful not to wake Ryan. She cautiously reached out to move the robe just a tiny bit further open. Then she slid her hand into the garment and was rewarded with a deep rumbling laugh. "I'm not going to vote for you as sergeant-of-arms," Ryan said as she turned to face the thoroughly embarrassed woman. "You obviously have no respect for the rules," she said with a big smile as she reached up and lightly touched Jamie's lips with her own.
Jamie dropped her head onto Ryan's terry cloth-covered chest. "God, I'm so embarrassed," she moaned into the fabric.
"There is nothing to be embarrassed about Jamie. This is all really new for you and you're just trying to feel comfortable." As she lifted Jamie's chin away from her chest she said seriously, "If you want to touch me, it's perfectly all right with me. I won't even think of it as a sexual touch. It can be like a little science experiment," she suggested.
"No. I...I...I'm too embarrassed now. It was only because you were asleep that I wanted to," she admitted shyly.
"Do you want me to pretend I'm asleep?" she asked, only partially kidding.
"No. I'm sure I'll have other opportunities," she replied with a small smile.
"More than you will be able to count. I promise," Ryan said as she gazed lovingly into her eyes.
A few more minutes of cuddling and then they each took a long shower and got back into their bike clothes. After a delicious breakfast in the lovely little dining room they retrieved their bikes and took off.
Through the late winter and early spring they had chosen Sunday as their big ride day. They started months ago at 30 miles and had slowly progressed up to 75 miles. As they pedaled away from the inn Ryan asked, "Do you want to do our long ride today, or do you need a day off?"
"I think I feel pretty good. Yesterday was strenuous but we didn't really ride that far. It might be good to stress ourselves a little today. Do you want to stay in Marin, or go back to the city and ride?"
"I'd like to stay over here," Ryan said with a shy grin. "It feels kind of magical. And besides, I already told Rory we'd take the last ferry back tonight."
"You are so sweet Ryan O'Flaherty. Stop a minute so I can give you a proper kiss," she demanded.
Ryan did so immediately. She stood waiting for Jamie with a completely open and willing smile on her face. Jamie got as close as she was able while straddling her bike. She leaned in and wrapped her arms around her friend while she stretched to her full height. She placed several gentle kisses on Ryan's soft lips and just let the warmth of the hug seep into her. "It's so hard for me to believe this is really happening," she said as they broke apart. "I've wanted you for so long, it's just amazing."
"How long have you known?" Ryan asked curiously.
"I've known in my conscious mind since the day after Jack broke up with me." She was a little embarrassed, but she continued, "You were kissing Tracy goodbye in the kitchen, and I felt such a wave of desire for you that it just about knocked me out. And the whole time I was with Jack again I was waging war with my desire for you."
"What about your subconscious mind?" she inquired.
"Anna and I have talked about this a lot," she said reflectively. "My knees got so weak the first time I saw you. I remember it like it was yesterday," she said fondly. "I still remember what you were wearing. You turned around in your desk and gave me one of those fantastic smiles. I think I was lost from that day on."
"I remember that day too," Ryan said. "When I turned around my first thought was, 'Wow'. But after a couple of seconds I thought you were probably straight. I do have a confession though," she said as she looked down at the ground.
"What's that?" Jamie asked.
"I could tell how flustered you were and I was kind of playing with you. I thought it was so cute, and I thought, 'maybe she's not too straight'," she admitted with an embarrassed little chuckle.
"I figured you knew," Jamie said as she gave her a little squeeze. "I'm not very good at hiding my feelings." She looked up at Ryan in question, "But you stopped flirting right away. Why?"
"The next time I saw you was when we went for a drive in your car. You were so sweet to me I just couldn't play with you. I liked you too much to risk hurting you," she said simply.
"I'm glad you didn't play with me," Jamie said. "If you had, we probably wouldn't be here today. And I'm very glad we're here today," she added as she gave Ryan one final chaste kiss in adherence to the rules.
They rode off into Muir Woods again, riding steadily for over an hour. They stopped for a water break and stretched a bit, but then got right back on and rode for another hour. This time they rested for 15 minutes or so. Their goal was to ride for 35 miles before lunch and they were doing very well. They had a few energy bars left over from the day before and they munched on them as they forced more water down. After a quick trip to a nearby restroom they started off again.
The terrain had flattened out quite a bit as they got closer to Mill Valley. The easy ride allowed them to converse as they rode side by side on the packed earth trail. "When did you start having feelings for me?" Jamie asked as she rode up next to Ryan.
"Well, I thought you were cute from the very beginning, as you know," she grinned. "But I really do have the ability to compartmentalize people. I removed you from the 'potential' category right away. To be honest I never gave it another thought until your birthday," she said with a little smirk. "That friendly little kiss you gave me was a little friendlier than I expected."
"What did you think? Did you like it?" Jamie asked hesitantly.
"I liked it a lot more than I should have," Ryan said with a grin. "I actually had to give myself a good talking to in your bathroom! It was one of those nights that I wished I didn't have such a firm moral code."
"But that wasn't when you thought you might have feelings for me?" Jamie asked, a little confused.
"Well, yes and no. If you hadn't been who you were we might still be in bed, but I couldn't get past the fact that you were straight and engaged. But that was one of the first times I thought that it was too bad that we couldn't be together," she explained. "The day I broke up with Tracy was when the idea really lodged in my brain," she revealed. "I was having dinner with Conor and he asked me if I was interested in you. I gave him my usual spiel about not dating straight women, but he wouldn't let go of it. He asked if I would date you if I could." She laughed a little at the memory. "I said I'd be all over you."
"So did you think about
it again?"
"Yeah. Several times, in fact. The night we went bowling together for one." She laughed a bit a she admitted, "Remember when I almost took a header on the ball return?" At Jamie's nod she continued, "You and I had just made some strange, intense eye contact that totally threw me. I hardly knew where I was!"
"I remember that too," Jamie agreed with a fond grin. "I wasn't sure if I was imagining it or not but it felt really intense. I think that's why I let the boys talk me into drinking so much," she mused. "My emotions felt out of control that night and I think I wanted to suppress them."
"You should have seen me trying to ignore my feelings when we slept together that night," she muttered with a visible shiver. "You really expected a lot out of me, young lady," she said with a mock scowl.
"Well henceforth you don't have to hide your desires," she promised.
"Hey, that's not the only time I felt desire for you," Ryan continued. "The St. Patrick's Day Massage was a night that will live on in my memory! I woke up that morning and you were asleep next to me. I wanted so badly to reach down and kiss you." She blushed a little as she added, "I was leaning over to smell you when you woke up and almost caught me."
"You were…smelling me?" Jamie asked with a wary look on her face.
"Yeah. Smell is very powerful for me. I associate things with smell more than my other senses. I could just get a little hint of your scent and I wanted more. I'm glad you didn't catch me though. That's kind of a hard thing to explain, 'Gee, Jamie, I was just smelling you. No big deal.'"
"Smell, huh?" she mused. "I think I remember touch more than smell. That's why I was trying to touch you this morning. I just had the strongest urge to feel your skin," she admitted shyly.
Ryan slowed down and eventually stopped by a deep grove of redwoods. "Would you like to stop here and engage in a little sense imprinting?" she asked with a gentle encouraging smile. "We could each indulge our favorite sense."
Jamie felt her mouth go bone dry at the look of raw desire on Ryan's face. Eventually she choked out, "We might as well stop, since I have no strength left in my legs." As she got off her bike she looked up at Ryan in wonder, "How do you do that? I'm going along just fine and then you just knock me out with one look."
"Hey, don't look at me," she replied defensively. "You started it! The look on your face when you said you wanted to touch me almost knocked me off my bike."
When they had walked their bikes deep enough in the grove to avoid detection they approached each other a little hesitantly. Ryan took the lead as they removed their helmets and gloves. She approached Jamie cautiously but decisively and stood very close as she leaned over just a bit. Her eyelids fluttered closed as she tilted her lovely face just enough so that a shaft of light that had broken through the redwoods illuminated her features. The moment was terribly fleeting but in that single tick of the clock Jamie was absolutely certain that the most beautiful woman ever created stood before her. It was all she could do not to reach out and touch that magnificent face but she held back, afraid to ruin the moment.
Jamie felt her breath catch, and she stood completely still, except for the rapid thumping of her heart. Ryan moved another inch and took in a massive breath, starting just under Jamie's flushed ear. With a deliberate pace she started to move, one slow sensuous inch at a time. Her eyes were still closed but her adorable nose twitched slightly as her nostrils flared just a bit. The slow, seductive smile that curled her lovely lips gave clear testimony that she was enjoying herself, but as the smile grew wider Jamie's knees grew weaker. She had to close her own eyes as Ryan began to move around her body, sniffing behind her neck, the top of her head, each cheek, under her chin, down her chest and slowly back up. Their bodies did not touch at any time, but as Jamie felt that warm breath tickle her exposed skin she was certain that she was being stroked with the gentlest touch on earth. The entire journey lasted just a minute or two, but Jamie had never felt more thoroughly loved. Her skin tingled with sensation and actually felt like it was glowing by the time Ryan was finished. Ryan's striking blue eyes remained closed as she raised her head and filled her lungs one last time. "I will always remember this moment," she promised as her eyes slowly opened to focus on Jamie's.
Jamie practically fell into her arms and let her lips express the feelings welling up in her chest. Her heart felt as though it would explode with emotion and she realized with a start that loving Ryan O'Flaherty was going to be a completely different experience than she had ever even dreamed of.
The mixture of their kisses and the display of Ryan's desire emboldened her and she felt her hands move up to grasp the broad muscular shoulders. She closed her eyes and lightly ran her fingertips down the tops of her arms, coming back up on the undersides. She placed her hands on the protuberant collarbones and traced them through her jersey. Then slowly, hesitantly, she moved her hands downward, brushing along the tops of both breasts simultaneously, as she gazed curiously up at Ryan's face. She let out a small sigh as her fingers circled each firm mound, and then gently cupped each breast in her small hands. Her eyes were closed again and Ryan's now did the same. She held the breasts gently, lifting them just a touch to feel their weight in her hands. Fingers shaking, she drew her thumbs up the center of each weighty breast to lightly brush the now rigidly firm nipples. As she began to circle each point with her thumbs Ryan sharply sucked in a breath through her teeth.
Jamie felt her burgeoning desire pounding through her entire body. She was completely unable to stop herself as she threw her arms around Ryan's neck and latched onto her mouth hungrily. She felt the warm lips part just slightly and she allowed her tongue to slide into the inviting moist heat. She was shaking violently with a mix of passion and fear as all control left her. Her legs collapsed and she felt herself begin to sink to the ground but Ryan resisted gently but firmly. Those strong arms gripped her around the waist and held her up until she could stand again. She had not let go of Ryan's lips and she slowly felt that sweet mouth break into a grin. "Are you sure that you're the one who wants to go slow?" was the gently teasing question.
"No, I don't," she moaned as she rested her head on Ryan's chest. "I want to throw you down on the ground and ravish you for hours. I've never, ever come close to feeling like this before, Ryan. I just don't think I can stop!"
"There's no one I'd rather be ravished by," Ryan whispered. "But you had some reservations about going further and I want you to be certain before we do."
"Oh why did I fall in love with the voice of reason?" she moaned again. "You are so mature," she said with a hint of exasperation in her voice.
"Jamie, I'm using every bit of self-control that I have at my disposal to stop myself from tearing your clothes off right here," she said with a smile. "But because I know that we will have the rest of our lives to love each other I can wait, even though it's incredibly hard. And I do mean incredibly hard," she insisted.
"Do you really believe that?" Jamie asked softly with a look of wonder on her face.
"Believe what?" Ryan asked.
"That we'll be together the rest of our lives?"
"Of course I do! Don't you?" she asked in confusion.
"Yes. I do, Ryan. I just wasn't sure if you were able to commit to me that completely," she said hesitantly.
"Jamie, I would not have let this get this far if I wasn't completely serious. I've never loved a friend only because friendship means so much to me. There is no part of me that would jeopardize what we have just for sex. I can have sex with anyone. But I can only love you," she said softly as she placed a tender kiss on Jamie's quivering lips.
Now it was Ryan's turn to kiss the tears from Jamie's eyes. They kissed softly and held each other for long minutes before they finally broke apart. Ryan smiled and said, "We'd better find someplace to stop for lunch. I really don't think I can ride in this condition. This is just payback for making fun of Jack's inability to stand up when he was turned on."
"Yeah. I don't think God had bike seats in min
d when he designed a woman's sexual response."
They found a cute little restaurant with an outdoor eating area in Mill Valley. They were contentedly eating their sandwiches when Ryan asked, "Do you ever think about why you took 'The Lesbian Experience?' "
Jamie laughed a bit as she replied, "Is that a tactful way to ask if I had any glimmers of doubt about my avowed heterosexuality?" Upon Ryan's slight nod she responded, "I've talked about that a lot with Anna," she admitted. "I know I didn't think about it consciously, but I must have had some subconscious questions. I mean," she observed wryly, "there were a lot of classes offered at eight a.m."
"You've never talked about any boyfriends before Jack. Did you date a lot in high school?"
"Yeah, I guess I did. I enjoyed dating when I was a sophomore. I went out with some guys who I really liked but a lot of the other girls were already having sex and the cool guys mostly drifted off to them. By junior year boys were beginning to tire of the 'let's see who can deflower Jamie' game, and I was totally sick of it. I felt like I spent most of my dates fighting them off, and that wasn't a lot of fun for me."
"Did you want to have sex with any of them?" Ryan asked, tilting her head in question.
"I would have to say no," Jamie replied thoughtfully. "I didn't feel that they were interested in me as much as they were in my body. I knew I would feel shitty about myself if I gave in just because they wanted me to, so I didn't do it."
"You were pretty mature for a high school kid," Ryan replied with admiration.
"Partly, yes, I was mature. But in retrospect I think I may have just not had any spark with them. On the other hand I know that I never felt desire for any of my girl friends either. So maybe I was just slow to mature sexually."
"Were you attracted to Jack sexually?" Ryan asked carefully, a little wary of bringing up the topic.
Beginnings - SF2 Page 3