Unspoken: A High School Bully Romance: The Longlake Duet, Book 2

by Hattie Jude

  Unspoken

  Hattie Jude

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Unspoken

  by Hattie Jude

  Copyright © 2021 by Hattie Jude

  ISBN-13: 978-1-7335137-8-4

  Cover by Jena Brignola

  Editing: Christine Estevez

  For information, contact:

  hattiejude@gmail.com

  Chapter One

  When I wake up, Raf is holding my hand. He’s the only one in the room and he looks half-asleep as he stares at me. His pale blue eyes widen when he sees I’m awake. He drags his hand through his thick hair and it sticks up everywhere. How he manages to still look like a model while sitting up all night in a hospital is a mystery.

  “Hi,” he whispers. “Your mom is going to be upset that she’s not here for this. She’s been here the whole time, but she left to get something more comfortable for you to wear when you woke up.”

  I don’t say anything, staring at the deep lines in his forehead, the red in his eyes, and the way his shoulders are sinking.

  “How are you feeling?”

  “Like I almost drowned.” I sound like a croaking frog.

  His smile is sad and it’s almost soft in this moment, tender. I blink, thinking when my vision clears, I’ll see the hard lines in his face again, his solid shoulders unbendable. But he looks younger and scared.

  “I thought I lost you,” he whispers.

  A flash of how peaceful it felt when I was completely submerged in the water floats across my vision. When it clears, he’s staring at me like I mean something to him.

  I know better.

  “Shouldn’t matter since you hate me so much,” I whisper back.

  He rolls his eyes and his grip on my hand tightens.

  “Why did you give up out there? You stopped fighting.”

  “What is there to fight for?” My voice breaks and I go back to whispering. “I’m not very good at living like this.”

  He leans down until his forehead is on our joined hands and he takes a long, deep breath. “You have everything to fight for. Please, don’t ever…ever do that again.”

  “My life has never been my own.” The tears fall down my cheeks now and I take a shuddering breath. “I’m tired. I wish you hadn’t saved me.”

  He lifts his head and the agonized look on his face makes my heart drop. It turns hard as he stares at me and I take my hand from his. He sits up and then stands, any warmth I felt from him falling off in sheets of ice.

  “Next time I won’t save you,” he says.

  He walks out of the room and I wish I could say it makes me feel better, but it’s as if my insides are being scraped out. I stare at the dark room and feel more alone than I’ve ever felt.

  My mom and Ashton are there the next time I wake up. No one mentions Raf. They both dote over me and I feel like I’m existing in slow motion, every movement ten beats behind what they expect of me. I’m fine, I don’t even know why I’m still in the hospital, other than I wanted to die.

  But no one is acknowledging that, which is possibly a good thing as far as how soon I get out of the hospital. I think I have Raf to thank for that. His tall tale about me getting too tired getting “exercise” in the water worked.

  When Ashton drives my mom and me home, I expect him to pull into Raf’s driveway and am so relieved when he doesn’t. My mom is dating Raf’s dad, Stefen—the worst surprise ever—and insisted we stayed with him when we were both harmed at our house. I’d rather live in fear than stay another night in Raf’s house.

  My stomach drops thinking about everything that happened between us in his guest room. I can’t go back there. It’s hard enough to stop thinking about Raf without having to sleep in the bed where we had sex.

  “Stefen installed a security system here that is as state of the art as the one at his house, so we’ll be safe here,” my mom says, smiling at me over her shoulder.

  I smile at her, thrilled that we’re going home. The thought of going back to Raf’s made me wish I could rush back out to the water.

  The way Ashton and Mom handle me, it seems they know I’m barely hanging on a thread of sanity. One wrong move might send me over the edge. It’s both empowering and comical…and embarrassing. I didn’t mean to create this much drama. I just wanted to forget the disaster that is my life.

  I haven’t talked to Ashton or my mom about the porno circulating that stars me, but I know they know and they know that I know they know…so there’s a whole lot of AWKWARD. Not to mention that I ended up in the water with the intent of never walking out again…but no one is talking about that either.

  Luke, my ex—I don’t really think I can call him a boyfriend since we never once went on a date—got sent to prison for having sex with me, a minor. The fact that he was a porn star was problematic for me only because I didn’t want my porn star mother or porn director dad to find out I was sleeping with one of their coworkers. Our entire relationship consisted of me sneaking out to his house and handing my innocence to him on a silver platter. I didn’t know he was recording us, and I never once thought about the fact that us having sex was illegal. It was all too exciting. Too thrilling to have a secret of my own.

  And for a girl who had been ignored by wealthy, busy parents her entire life, the attention he fed me was a new kind of high. I quickly became addicted. Not just to him, but the alcohol he plied me with every time we were together.

  How an old sex video of us is circulating now, after he’s done his time and has resorted to leaving red lilies on my doorstep—at least, I think it’s him—is a new level of low for how far my life has fallen.

  My mom and I left Vegas to make a new start in Long Island, and even my dad, who promised he’d do right by us, for once, has left threatening notes—at least I think it’s him.

  But what do I know about anything?

  Trouble has followed me here. Most of it has been because of Raf, the guy I hate more than anything, but also can’t seem to keep my hands off of. And there’s his sometimes side-piece, Heidi, who despises me. I’ve been the victim of more pranks at school than I can count, and Luke and my father were nowhere near me when that happened. I can’t blame them for all the drama at Longlake Prep.

  It’s no wonder I wanted to get in that water and never step on land again.

  My mom and Ashton get me settled in my room and are treating me with such kid gloves that I have the thought that even Raf would be better than this. At least he talks to me the same as before.

  But he doesn’t show up and I don’t ask for him, and after I sleep a lot and then sleep some more, I realize he might not be coming back.

  Ever.

  And I need to be okay with that.

  Luci brings my schoolwork over and we work on homework together as I steadily recover. I’ve missed four days of school and have stayed off of
social media, scared to know what’s being said about me. And how Raf has moved on without me.

  I haven’t seen him since that day in the hospital.

  I hear my mom talking to Stefen occasionally, but the Barrons stay away. I know it should make me feel better, but nothing does. My head is a vacuous void.

  Over the weekend, my mom and I watch movies and Ashton and Luci both visit. They keep it light and conflict-free.

  Until Sunday night.

  It’s just my mom and me and I can tell she wants to talk about something important when she sets the takeout on the table and just stands there looking in my general direction.

  I pile my plate with Chinese food and wait for the bomb to drop.

  “I’ve told the school you’ll be back tomorrow. It’s time you get back. If you hope to graduate—”

  “I’m not going back.”

  “Yes. You have to. If you’re serious about Columbia.”

  “I don’t know if I’m going there anymore.”

  “What? You don’t mean that, Josephine.”

  I cringe when she says my first name. I’ve gone by my middle name Gabriela or Gabi since I moved here, new beginning and all that, but Mom can’t seem to adjust. It was her idea even, but I guess I will always be Josephine to her. She sits next to me on the couch and I keep eating. Anything to avoid looking at her.

  “We’ve filed a lawsuit against the site that posted that video. It’s been taken down,” she says.

  “You know it will never be gone. Once those things go up, they’re out there. Forever.”

  “But it won’t be easy to access anymore. I’ve hired a lawyer who will track it down every time. I’m not giving up and you shouldn’t either. You didn’t ask for this. I’m so sorry it happened—I will always feel responsible for it.”

  “None of this is your fault.”

  She sighs and leans her head against the couch cushions, turning to face me. “Should you call your sponsor? Is there someone else you can talk to? I don’t know what to do to help.”

  “Don’t make me go back to school.” I shrug. School might be the tipping point for me drinking.

  “Anything except that.”

  “Then don’t bother acting like you want to help me.”

  She stands up and walks into the other room, her shoulders set in a rigid line.

  The next morning Ashton and Luci show up at seven and force me to get out of bed. My head hurts and I’m struggling to wake up since I got little sleep, but they’re trying so hard, I stop fighting and give in. Maybe I can skip later in the day if it gets too hard. I don’t bother with makeup and leave my hair down, wishing it covered my entire face. Anything to hide.

  We ride together and they chat the whole way. When Raf’s name is mentioned, I perk up, listening for the first time.

  “Henry and Raf have been hanging out with Toby Matthison,” Ashton says. “Did you notice anything different about Toby?”

  “I didn’t know him well,” Luci says. “What’s different?”

  “I don’t know. He always seemed so out of it before…I thought he’d seem that way now, but he’s not. Maybe his time in the hospital got him clean.” Ashton pulls into the school parking lot.

  When I don’t see Raf’s car, I sag against the seat. I’m not ready to see him. I think about Toby and wish I’d talked to my sponsor, Laura, again, asked her what’s going on there…why he’d be at my school. There were too many coincidences for him not to be her brother. He’s twenty-three, obviously too old for high school, and was in a coma for Christ’s sake. But things have been weird with her. She’s not been checking on me and I’ve needed her more than ever. I thought I was past feeling like I wanted to drink, but if ever there was a time I’ve felt like I needed one, it’s today, coming back to Longlake.

  When the car stops, Ashton and Luci turn around and look at me. I opted for the backseat so I could be out of their line of sight, but it’s not working now.

  “Ready?” Luci smiles.

  “As much as I’ll ever be, I guess.”

  I hate my mother with a passion right now.

  When I get to my locker, I open it tentatively while Ashton and Luci stand nearby, my guard dogs. All kinds of things have been known to fall out of my locker in the past, so I’m surprised I even still use the thing.

  A red lily falls out and I jump back like I’ve been burned. Ashton picks it up and holds it out for me, his jaw clenching. He knows I hate red lilies but doesn’t know why. Chalk it up to another Luke side effect.

  “Pretty,” Luci whispers. “Who do you think left it?”

  I’m shaking when I grab the flower from Ashton’s hand and toss it in the garbage.

  “Gabi? Are you okay?” I hear Luci asking me, but I rush to my class and don’t look back, feeling haunted.

  I hear the whispers and feel the stares all day long. Everyone has either seen the video or knows about it because when I walk by, they moan Luke’s name the way I did. When I sit at my desk, when I grab my lunch…I hear their moans. My moans. The day feels endless and I haven’t even made it to the halfway point.

  The good news is they don’t seem to know about my attempt to drown. Small blessings.

  I haven’t seen Raf all day, but when I do, it’s after a guy I’ve never even talked to before walks by in the lunch room, moaning, “Luuuuuuke.”

  I look up in time to see Raf’s fist connect with the guy’s jaw and he goes down. Everyone stops talking for a few seconds and not one teacher reprimands Raf for assaulting another student. He walks me to class, not saying a word or even glancing in my direction, and he’s there to walk me to the next class when that one is over. Same with the next. No one else bothers me for the rest of the day.

  After the last class, he walks me to my locker and when Ashton gets there, they nod, and Raf walks out.

  “What was that about?” I ask.

  “Just looking out for you.”

  “You and Raf are getting along again?” I frown at him.

  “Yeah. He still doesn’t like how close you and I are, but he thinks it’s best if we work together on this.”

  Hmm. Maybe Raf has a heart. A tiny heart, but a heart nonetheless.

  Then again, it probably all goes back to what his father expects of him, but still…I’m grateful. It made the day easier.

  Chapter Two

  Chalk it up to inexperience with a side of horny, but Luke’s seduction of me was swift and once he snared me, he had me right where he wanted me. We met at my parents’ Christmas party, where he sat and talked with me on the stairs instead of ever going into the actual party. That in itself won huge points with me, making me think I was so interesting that he didn’t need anyone else.

  At sixteen, what a joke.

  The fact that he was older than me was the least of the attraction, at least that’s what I thought at the time. Looking back on it now, I can see that it was part of it. The forbidden. His skill at manipulation, his way of luring me in with his attention.

  All a trap.

  Not long after the Christmas party, I went to my favorite coffee shop and was tucked away in a corner reading about Jericho in Darkfever, my hands tight against my mug of chai latte. Maybe it’s because I was so turned on by Jericho—or Karen Moning’s words, same difference—that I felt like fate had dropped Luke into my life at the perfect moment. He probably wouldn’t have had to be even half as attractive, but fuck me, he was chiseled blond perfection.

  Not even my type, but my body said another story.

  “What are you reading, pretty girl?”

  No hello, just straight to the point. All I heard was that he thought I was pretty.

  Stupid, stupid girl.

  I shut the book and smiled up at him and he sat across from me, staring at me with promise behind his eyes.

  The next time I went to the coffee shop, he was there waiting.

  And the next, and the next…

  With a red lily just for me.

  The fi
rst time I went to his house was also the first time he kissed me, the first time we had sex. He pulled me inside, kissing me as soon as the door closed behind us. He took the lily he’d given me, now a tradition every time he saw me, and trailed it across my skin as he took my clothes off. When we reached the bed, and I was lying before him, basking in the way his eyes glistened with lust, I thought I was in love. That we were in love.

  Yes, he was a rapidly rising-to-fame porn star, but instead of that being a turn-off, it meant so much more that someone with that much experience would want to be with someone like me.

  I gave him my virginity wrapped like a gift with a shiny red bow, all in, no reservations whatsoever.

  I was ready.

  He was willing.

  It hurt.

  Bad.

  He didn’t kiss me like he had at the door. There was no attention paid to my body like the love stories I read about.

  He was no Jericho.

  “Next time it will be better,” he promised.

  And I believed him.

  After all, if a porn star didn’t know how to make a woman feel good, no one did.

  I saw a camera the second time I went to his house. There were mirrors everywhere that had distracted me before. It was while we were having sex this time that I noticed Luke watching the mirrors. I lifted my head to meet his eyes in the mirror, but he was looking at himself and the way his body moved over mine like a piston firing.

  I wondered for a fleeting moment if he saw me at all. Was he picturing his costars while he fucked me? All the reasons I’d felt special vanished when I saw the camera flashing.