Or to Begin Again

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Or to Begin Again Page 7

by Ann Lauterbach


  Had there ever been such magnitude, such spawning?

  A counting of cast-off limbs.

  Such counting of last limbs on the green?

  To have unreason counted as reason

  To have as fact unreason without crime

  And only one intentional wound; to be

  To covet the black eyes of the small dead rat.

  Covetous of the smallest wakeful hour as

  Adding and adding so the agenda grows

  Of the black eyes of the small dead rodent.

  And the blood stops running, the scar sets

  Adding and adding so the agenda grew

  The scar set and the tune rose into its thin retainer.

  And the blood stopped running, and the scar set.

  The scar set and the tune rose.

  2.

  A modest evocation, a simple claim. As his crimes were disbanded

  A modest evocation, a simple claim.

  At his death, the mourners came out from their foxholes

  As his war crimes were

  And the crows also.

  Forgiven at death, the people

  The year turned into another year overnight

  Came out from their kitchens

  The day turned into another day overnight

  To mourn; crows agitated the air

  The war was a separate entity, with its own turning dates.

  And settled on kill.

  The candles were lit.

  The year turned into another year overnight.

  Nevertheless, candles were lit.

  The day turned into another day overnight.

  Some counting was included in the dossier of events

  The war was a separate entity, with its own turning dates.

  Counting seemed to ease the ambiguity of the ocean.

  The candles were lit.

  There are the pluses and the minuses to add and subtract.

  Nevertheless candles were lit.

  The issue of fewer or more. The issue of cost.

  Some counting was included in the dossier of events.

  But, turning away,

  Counting seemed to ease the ambiguity of the ocean.

  The innumerable and the inseparable

  The issue of fewer or more. The issue of cost.

  3.

  And the incommensurate

  But, turning away,

  In their separate, unique garb of silver

  The innumerable and the inseparable

  Riding up and over the long radiant angle

  In their plural garb

  Like a flushed stream of mercury

  Rode up and over in a long radiant angle

  These seemed to make the weapons and their procedures useless

  Like the flushed stream of memory

  Blank came back, blank followed blank, until full.

  These made the weapons and their procedures fertile.

  The pathos of the hour, its desire to be spoken.

  The pathos of the hours, their desire to be said.

  Noon came and went and no one watched.

  But noon came and went and no one spoke.

  No one watched, heard, or was beseeched.

  No one watched, heard, or beseeched.

  Know me! called the empty bell from far off

  The two hands reached up, surrendered.

  And swiped its card, and drove away.

  Know me! someone called from far off

  And the couple stood and kissed under the boughs of the tree.

  And swiped his card, and drove away.

  And the old man smiled to the camera.

  The couple embraced under the boughs of the tree.

  The old man, now dead, had smiled to the camera.

  The old man smiled to the camera.

  The young man, a soldier, smiled to the camera.

  THE SCALE OF RESTLESS THINGS (FRA ANGELICO)

  1.

  Error bloom

  inadequate spent

  all the odd gloves thrown away subtract the G

  nothing to retrieve add C cloves array unverified heat twisted wind mistaken for favor merge lift up pluck from vertigo

  the shack’s

  bravado

  swept out to sea.

  Save the O.

  Dripping not blood, not water, refuse of light metaphorical distension beyond the immortal If.

  You might know how everything names itself as cost

  and the poor

  the shotgun shack not water, not blood,

  not yet conceptual

  as if to ornament the sign as easily as a strap

  as if

  in the welter of the exiled new

  the girl ripped slip and no hair

  she, too, had been shorn

  like, and like an image.

  2.

  Enter in an initial D

  The Devil in monk’s garb

  the first hermits

  a ring of space

  around the head

  miracle of the Book

  floating across fire

  knee-deep in mud

  dream of the puddle

  dream of the cloud

  floating gift, missing

  3.

  arc of the halo

  and a lily

  enters the pattern

  blue figures on the roof of the hut

  central pinnacle

  missing also

  long vertical drops

  architectural

  The puddle is bitter.

  It tastes of shiny

  coins. Notice now how the lovers,

  reflected in it, are

  warped to perfection.

  A chickadee sips and bows and

  sips the moony bowl.

  The mercantile dressage at the core of the Rose.

  Enter in an initial R surrounded by a frame

  where the minus conducts business partly noticed a breeze from across

  scatters the miscellaneous N

  and the trials of Islam call of truth and

  call to prayer

  their inexact registers–

  In our story, how Abelard spoke and how a crew migrated over the plains with its primer of elision the treatise on hunger on imminent foreclosures of the real–fury in stasis black dog returns and the past flips up

  as if

  word of mouth

  could resurrect the simple course of seasons

  sitting on the porch could save the world.

  4.

  If the saints were to meet

  If the apostle were to call forth the magician

  If the falcon were to reveal

  If Francis were in the fire

  If the palpable ordinance

  If the wallpaper were singing

  In replay she awakens.

  In the wake of the replay, she

  is awake.

  It was all a dream.

  The century in which she was a boy,

  the hugely upholstered dress,

  the pretend attraction to the swarthy lad.

  If you

  blinked, you missed it.

  If you

  blinked, you would have missed

  the moment that she wakes

  awakens is awake.

  Almost an object of sight, almost within bounds of the known a new age new tusks new furrows new starving rats new mildews and rings new illuminated Spiders bright berries on branches catching ochre leaves there are no images

  5.

  Nevertheless

  belated in affection I

  had gone goes more or less has had

  to cede moist residuals–

  unkempt sheets, etc.

  The modern furniture, a cool polyester gray

  out on the curb. And yet,

  the materials, acquired,

  cheat their source.

  Moved away.

  Moved toward.

  Moved, or turned, away.

&nb
sp; Flirty filmmaker deceived I

  and her ancestors, soiled her

  party dress, whipped her torso,

  led her across red rope at the club.

  Made nothing absolute happen,

  as she stepped away from a better job.

  This is a full-service enterprise.

  This is gutter and candle,

  the informant and the slain.

  Outrage, a kind of rash on her face,

  on the grainy silent screen

  as the director’s mirror breaks open the sea.

  6.

  In the film of the painting,

  the zip zips open,

  dust flies

  through the opened edge

  the yellow fringe

  the crimson tide leave expression behind

  mimic and aura condemned and so

  open the miraculous envelope.

  Read the blank page.

  As usual, some German angels

  spread-winged, are faced to the past.

  As usual, one of them is sleeping.

  7.

  I launched a scroll

  in the misgivings of January,

  after Rome. As I began

  writing to the beloved,

  something went awry.

  «And so» I explicated the loss

  and earned a degree.

  I watched the escalator rise,

  I mentioned positions and hats.

  I kept the heart girdled by fact

  so that desire and its

  accompanying historical grace

  filled the auditorium with scholars.

  Sleeves, I’s sleeves, swept over the podium.

  The field, I said, is infested.

  Have you seen the orchid man?

  Have you seen the blue eggs?

  Prefab symmetry

  lost its magic, its surfaces

  purloined from drugstore

  polish. I

  sets out to mesmerize

  having lost, having never found

  the blue eggs.

  If you catch the light, go.

  She might have called it

  a fool’s error

  the collector crossing his arms directing traffic away from what I might have said–

  Did you see? Have you seen?

  Infidelity of the page.

  Bug specks on the mantel.

  Body parts, etc., on the field.

  8.

  The mess, the empirical debris

  already written

  in swank pretense up in the old hotel.

  We gave him some money for new books.

  His shoe had a hole in it, we could see that

  as we walked along the road.

  We speak of the person whose

  words fall through the sole

  of his shoe onto the muddy path.

  For new boots.

  Error, a splash across a hem or cuff.

  I is in the theater

  where I will create

  the main character.

  The audience is assembled has assembled will assemble

  its hosanna.

  The man his wife the young man

  the rumpled sheets the man

  the long kiss the touch

  the man his wife

  her sweater. The luggage the visit

  the young man his embrace.

  I is in the chamber of birth.

  The chorus explodes hosanna in the highest.

  9.

  The dream’s deception.

  The companion moth.

  The cold child’s fluorescence

  masking its source.

  The lover

  sitting on an immense blue egg

  in a nest of light.

  Smile for the camera

  dear herald, dear

  avatar, we’re not sleepy and–

  Perhaps it was only the decorative

  jewels of reason’s promise

  spoiling our outlook

  the prismatic gems

  the geometrical clasp

  glinting on her neck.

  No blood on the cutting room floor.

  No ashes on the mound.

  Uncharitable hard moments

  of the architectural swerve–

  bring back normal boredom

  bring back the philanthropy of the Golden Age

  bring back the sorrow of a single loss.

  10.

  How went it?

  Covetously.

  And now?

  Also, but dead.

  How goes that?

  Sadly.

  In what manner?

  Mercurial, somewhat imagined,

  certainly no longer.

  A train?

  Also. Gambling?

  Evidently.

  The small ones?

  One by one.

  Smoking?

  Yes.

  With love?

  Now and then.

  And so?

  And so.

  The hour going on it was it was

  the little nerve pain at the side of the head

  the dream from hell

  and her bedside reading might be

  how numbers are not time and time

  is not

  singular

  what a friend said

  at lunch

  is it hot enough

  in the minimalist cave

  is it cool enough

  in the cave of modernity

  in the studio of the artist

  in the preening hello/good-bye of the good old days

  so not to be inward, to be outward and onward

  with the iPod attached to iTunes

  all the numbers in play.

  ALONE IN OPEN (BILL VIOLA)

  Into the trees, over water saturated trellis the body midair catapulted beyond daily weather ethical event those villages a simple man of the people ordinary people the healings

  dust and spit

  the balm of storytelling

  performing miracles

  Augustus and a Jewish peasant his teaching, agrarian loaves, fishes multiplication’s rustic enigma mustard kingdom of mustard the seed Rome or god or prophet or maybethousands the tokens of their deliverance everyone killed someone is going to kill this man looks for a target make edges treads, turrets, defines the features filter lenses filter this energy using this mask hot spot on a camera marked off with this cross the key high altitude loiter a strike element accuracy of the Patriot hard to stop merely or or 40 percent or conventional basically a failure Silkworms guided anchored off the coast

  to the ship

  a sea

  to conduct

  continuous

  escape

  after these whitewashed tombs

  after the war new narrative New

  the trauma

  hearts and minds

  so different

  to himself

  up to the year

  what does he say

  and to whom

  meet the women

  go and tell

  the last scene the story began I did not expect journalism very early the stories

  six hundred troops

  Agony in the Garden

  exactly what

  happened

  on a different day

  before the beginning

  so here’s the scene

 

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