Nephi's Courage

by Rory McFarlan

  “What if I don’t know how to glass? What if I don’t even know what that is?”

  “It just means that we’ll use our binoculars to watch the hill on the other side for any sign of animals.”

  “Ok, why didn’t you just say that? I think that’s something I can handle.”

  “Shooting light isn’t until 7:25 so we’ll be sitting in the dark for a while. Put some hand warmers in your pockets so your hands won’t freeze.”

  About now, Alex was wondering what he got himself into. He was still intrigued but questioning whether he was cut out for this.

  With cocoa cups empty, they put on the blaze orange vests over their coats, strapped on binoculars, and pulled on hats and gloves. They walked out of the tent into the cold, dark morning air. Nephi made his way to the truck and took his rifle from the gun rack. He placed four rounds in the magazine and clipped it into the gun.

  “I have the magazine in the rifle, but I don’t load one in the chamber until I am ready to fire,” he explained. “It is dangerous to walk with a loaded rifle, especially since we must climb over fallen trees. Never climb over anything with a loaded firearm.”

  “Makes sense to me,” replied Alex.

  Nephi threw the gun over his shoulder and switched on his headlamp. The light was stronger than Alex expected. It illuminated the path for almost 100 yards. He followed as Nephi led the way up to the game trail that hugged the mountain through the trees. The trail climbed the mountain gradually. The snow was frozen over and it crunched with each step. Alex wondered how they would sneak up on anything with all the noise their feet were making in the snow. As they continued to walk, Nephi stopped and held his arms out, signaling Alex to stop with him.

  Directing his headlamp to the ground, he pointed. “Fresh elk tracks and droppings,” he whispered.

  Alex could see a pile of droppings on top of the snow. Each dropping was about twice the size of an almond and steam was coming off of them. The tracks were about four inches long and just as wide with two rounded sections at the back that went into two open toes that were more pointed. The tracks fueled their excitement as they continued to follow the trail in the dark.

  They reached the split in the trail that heads to the ridge and began to ascend toward the peak. The steep terrain grew more difficult to navigate. Nephi led on while Alex followed. Alex began to feel the burning in his legs as they climbed. The hard work and movement of their bodies kept them warm, but they were moving slow enough to avoid breaking a sweat.

  Chapter 15

  In time, they reached the top of the trail and took a moment to rest and catch their breath before moving onward. They walked along the ridge, still guided by the light of the headlamp. Nephi loved it here. It made him feel like he was on top of the world. He couldn’t wait for the sun to come up to reveal what had become one of his favorite views, the snow-covered peaks in the background fronted by a mountain stream in a valley surrounded by flocked trees.

  They reached the lookout spot and Nephi pulled two folding stools from his backpack and set them on the ground. The two friends turned off their headlamps and sat there in silence surrounded by the snowy forest. It was a serene morning, and they felt a sense of reverence for nature. Alex couldn’t remember the last time he felt so calm.

  Light slowly filled the small valley below them, revealing the stream that meandered through the snow-covered meadow. Not quite light enough for glassing, they took it in with the naked eye. The bugle of an elk in the distance broke the silence. To Nephi, there was no sound more beautiful in all the world. He could hear his heart beat faster as the bugle echoed through the air.

  Elk were Nephi’s favorite animal. Beautiful and majestic, he saw them as the rulers of the forest. He loved their powerful legs and the way a bull’s thick brown neck hair contrasted against its light colored body. He didn’t think anything on earth was quite as lovely as a big bull elk. This was their country, and he was their guest. This time of morning, right before the sun came up over the mountains was his favorite time. He took a deep breath, inhaling the fresh cold mountain air and thought about how wonderful it was to be alive and to enjoy God’s creations.

  About 7:20, it was light enough to see and Nephi raised his binoculars and began to glass the length of the hill on the other side of the valley. Alex followed suit. Nephi noticed movement to one side and zeroed his binoculars in on the spot. He saw three cow elk wandering through the trees. They were beautiful. He tapped Alex on the knee and pointed in the elk's direction. It took a few moments, but Alex managed to find them. He was excited to see animals in the wild.

  Nephi raised the rifle to his shoulder and lined up a cow in his scope. His rifle followed her as she walked. After all his years of hunting, this would be his first elk. His father would be so proud of him and happy to have a freezer full of meat.

  Glancing back at Alex for a moment, he noticed a look of horror on his face. After loading a round into the chamber, Nephi returned to the elk in his scope. He followed her into a clearing where he had a perfect broadside shot. He confirmed his target and what was behind it. All clear. He exhaled and held his breath while he crawled his finger onto the trigger. All ready to squeeze, he thought about the great time he was having with Alex. The cow had stopped to eat some grass.

  He had never had such a perfect opportunity. At about 150 yards, the shot was easy for Nephi. Once he squeezed that trigger, he would have to clean the elk and pack out the meat. As he contemplated it, he realized that all the fun would be over as soon as the bullet left the barrel and he wasn’t ready for the fun with Alex to end. Nephi eased his finger back out of the trigger guard, removed his magazine, and ejected the round from the rifle.

  Alex exhaled in relief as a confused expression came to his face. “What happened?” he asked. “Why didn’t you shoot it?”

  “It was a bit too far away to get a good shot,” said Nephi. “Besides, we might come across a bigger one later.”

  “It looked pretty big to me,” replied Alex.

  “Keep your eyes peeled. More elk are bound to come through.”

  They sat there and glassed until the sun fully came up over the mountain, casting warmth on their backs. Sitting had caused their bodies to cool, and the sun felt good. After another hour of glassing proved unfruitful, Nephi led them along the ridge back toward the direction of camp. They made their way down through the trees and Nephi pointed out elk tracks and droppings everywhere.

  More fresh tracks and droppings told them that an elk herd had been through there last night. Elk are mostly nocturnal animals, moving and feeding at night, especially during hunting season. The best chance to see them is first thing in the morning and right before sundown. Alex and Nephi hiked through the forest, moving slowly. Moving so slow proved a bigger challenge than Alex expected. He used muscles in ways that didn’t feel natural and grew sore. Several rabbits and a fox crossed their path, making the slow, painful process worth it. Alex didn’t realize how much he would enjoy seeing wildlife like this.

  At about 10:00, figuring that their chances of seeing elk were slimmer this time of day, Nephi led the way back to camp where they built a fire in the stove to warm up and make breakfast. Nephi’s favorite freeze-dried breakfast meal was biscuits and gravy and he boiled some water to make a pouch for each of them.

  They sat and talked while they ate and soaked up the warmth of the stove.

  “What did you think of the elk?” asked Nephi.

  “It was incredible to see such large animals in the wild. It’s freezing up here but so beautiful. It’s worth it. I loved seeing the rabbits and the fox, too. Thanks for dragging me up here.”

  “I love it up here. I have since I was a kid. I have great memories of coming here with my family.”

  “Your family seems nice.”

  “They are, mostly. My dad is a blue-collar guy with a blue-collar job and a strong work ethic. He is down to earth and I think at least some of that rubbed off on all of us.”


  “Not all blue-collar families are down to earth. Some can be downright mean,” replied Alex.

  “I suppose you’re right. Bradley’s dad, for example. He puts off a bad vibe, more so recently, but my family isn’t like that… except maybe my brother Jacob, to some extent.”

  “What’s the deal with Jacob, anyway?”

  “I don’t really know. He has always been one of those holier-than-thou types and has always been embarrassed of me, even before I came out. I think I always acted a bit too feminine for his taste and he didn’t know how to handle it when I came out so he just takes his frustrations out on me.”

  “That’s too bad. I hate it when people act like that,” said Alex.

  “My other brother, Ammon has always been supportive and so has Tiffany. My relationship with Dad hasn’t quite been the same since I came out, though. I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s different. I feel like he’s disappointed in me. It really hurt when they were all talking about me before I arrived at the last family dinner. Like my relationship choices are any of their business.”

  “Fathers can be difficult. I have seen that a lot. So many in the community struggle with that relationship. I think some men have a hard time comprehending how someone could be gay so they shun it. What about Darla?”

  “Mom has shown nothing but love and compassion. I think on some level she is disappointed in me, but she has never said so. I don’t know what I would do without her.”

  “I’m happy for you. You’re lucky to have such a great family. Most don’t.”

  “You know about my family, my job, my obsession with Tommy Page, my living arrangements, my religious beliefs, and my political beliefs but I know almost nothing about you except that you come from Jensen, love to cook, and love Blue October and Counting Crows. Tell me about you. What’s your family like?”

  “I’ll tell you anything else about me, but I’m still not ready to get into my family with you. Don’t be offended, I don’t talk about it with anyone. Maybe someday that will change, but today is not that day.”

  “Okay then, tell me something about you I don’t already know.”

  “I’m a simple person, Nephi. I love to cook and I’m good at it. I love music and like to sing along even though I’m tone deaf and it sounds terrible. I enjoy watching movies and I’m on the far left of the political spectrum.”

  “I already knew all of that. Tell me something else.”

  “Okay, I’ll tell you something I didn’t know myself until today. I enjoy spending time outdoors. The snow, the trees, the animals… It is all amazing, and sitting here with you next to the warm stove is just what I needed to recharge.”

  They polished off the biscuits and gravy and drank one more cup of cocoa before heading back into the snowy wilderness. The hike lasted until late in the afternoon. They saw several deer but no elk. Sitting at the edge of a clearing, they took time to hydrate and eat a protein bar while remaining quiet and watching for elk. They then made their way back up to the top of the ridge to glass the stream and the slope on the opposite side as evening fell and shooting light faded. By the time the sun disappeared behind the opposite slope, they still hadn’t seen any more elk and they turned back toward camp by the light of their headlamps.

  Tired and wet, they built a new fire in the stove and fashioned a clothesline above it from a rope. They removed their wet clothes and hung them over the stove to dry while they sat in front of it in their long-johns and warmed their feet.

  Nephi boiled water for dinner. He selected freeze dried lasagna while Alex opted for beef stew. After a long day in the snow, it really hit the spot. They burned the packaging in the stove and added more wood to the fire.

  “I wish I could listen to music right now,” said Alex.

  “Why don’t you pull out your phone and play something?” asked Nephi.

  “There’s no data service up here for me to stream.”

  “I have tons of mp3s on my phone. I have all of Tommy Page’s albums, of course, and after we talked about music, I even bought a Blue October album if you want to listen to it.” “Wow, I thought there was no longer a need to download physical music files, but I guess this is the perfect situation for it. To be honest, I thought you were living in the wrong decade, honey, but you proved me wrong. Which album do you have?” “I bought the “Sway” album but I haven’t listened to it yet.”

  “I can’t think of a better time. It’s not like you have anything better to do.”

  “You have a good point,” replied Nephi as he retrieved the phone from his backpack.

  After browsing to the album in his music app, he pressed play. The first track on the album was an instrumental introduction. Next up was the title track of the album, “Sway”. Alex smiled and his head perked up as it began to play.

  “I love this song,” he said. “Let’s dance.”

  Alex stood and took Nephi by the hand pulling him up out of the chair. They folded the chairs and leaned them against the tent wall to make space. Nephi wrapped his arms around Alex’s waist while Alex hugged Nephi around the neck. They followed the song’s suggestion and swayed to the music while staring into each other’s eyes. Nephi had waited for a moment like this. Alex’s strong arms wrapped around him making Nephi feel safe.

  He enjoyed the dance so much that he almost didn’t mind when he heard an f-bomb drop in the middle of the song.

  “Sorry,” said Alex, “I forgot that one was in there.”

  Nephi laughed it off and hugged Alex tighter as they continued the slow dance on the tent floor in their long-johns. They moved to the music as they watched the fire light cast shadows on the tent wall that danced along with them. Nephi felt a real connection and though he had been fighting it for quite some time, so did Alex.

  The song neared its end and being caught up in the moment, their heads moved close toward each other. Nephi’s bosom burned as their lips touched in a sweet, gentle kiss. They continued to kiss while the album played. Alex’s lips moved down Nephi’s cheek to his neck, unleashing a course of fire through Nephi’s body. Their lips reconnected, and they explored each other’s mouths with their tongues. They moved to the cot while continuing to kiss. Lying next to each other, they made out passionately.

  Alex reached down and touched Nephi’s thigh. Nephi withdrew from him.

  “I’m not ready for that,” said Nephi.

  “Just kissing?”

  “Yes, for now, just kissing.”

  “I can work with that,” smiled Alex.

  They continued making out on the cot in front of the stove. Warmed by the fire and the passion, Nephi pulled back again.

  “Alex, I need to stop. I can’t tell you how bad I want this but I’m not ready to go any further and if I don’t stop now, I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop at all.”

  Fighting his own desire and respecting Nephi’s wishes, Alex moved to his own cot and climbed into his sleeping bag. They both bridled their passions and slept, while dreaming of each other’s touch all night.

  Morning came early and with it, what sounded like pine needles constantly dropping onto the roof of the tent. Nephi opened the tent door to reveal large snowflakes falling quickly form the sky. He started the fire and crawled onto Alex’s cot and laid there, holding him through the sleeping bag for several minutes until he woke up. Nephi just wanted to be close to him.

  Now fully awake, Alex poked his head out of the sleeping bag and kissed Nephi on the forehead before sitting up. After making their way out into the falling snow to pee, they returned to the warm tent and made a breakfast of freeze dried omelets and hot cocoa. They dressed in the clothes hanging over the stove that were now warm and dry and made their way toward the ridge.

  Like the previous day, the arrived in their perch before daylight and glassed the valley below and the opposite ridge as the sun rose over the mountain. As Nephi gazed high upon the ridge through his binoculars, he felt frantic tapping on his shoulder. He turned to see Alex, clearly exc
ited and pointing toward the stream.

  Moving his binoculars slowly down toward the watering hole at the base of the valley, Nephi understood why Alex was so excited. A monster 6 x 7 bull elk stood there drinking from the stream. It was massive. Nephi had never seen anything as beautiful as that bull. They both sat and watched it through their binoculars as best they could in the falling snow as it drank from the stream and dug its face down into the snow to find the grass that grew underneath.

  They observed in awe as it made its way up the hill on the opposite side and over the ridge. Exhilarated by the shared experience, they hugged each other as the snow continued to fall and then made their way back to camp to warm up.

  “The snow hasn’t stopped falling,” observed Nephi. “If it doesn’t let up, we could get stuck up here. I think it’s best if we break down camp after we warm up and head back home before it’s too late.”

  “I don’t want to get stuck up here and I trust your judgement,” replied Alex.

  “That settles it. Let’s warm up and eat something and then we’ll make our way home.”

  They didn’t’ want to light a fire in the stove because it would complicate camp tear down so Nephi started the truck and they sat in the cab with the heater and ate protein bars. The heat felt good on their hands and their feet and before long, they were ready to take everything down.

  They cleared the inside of the tent, moving everything to its place in the truck bed before taking down the tent. The job was difficult because of the snow. Nephi used a broom to raise the tent ceiling from the inside, causing the snow to slide off. They removed the canvas from the frame and folded it. It is never good to put a tent away wet, but they didn’t have a choice. Nephi would need to dry it out in his parents’ garage when he got home. They took down the frame, placing each piece in the truck and then double checked the camp site before getting in the truck and allowing the heater to warm them again before pulling out.