Cold Feet

by Brenda Novak

  “Tamara, let’s not discuss Holly in front of Madison, please,” Justine said. “And unless you can say something nice, don’t talk about her at all.”

  “I can’t help it if the truth hurts,” Tamara muttered as an older, raw-boned man entered the room.

  “Ah, there you are, dear,” Justine said, and introduced Madison to Caleb’s father, Logan.

  Logan shook her hand, but was far more reserved in his greeting than Justine had been. From beneath the ledge of a prominent brow, his eyes seemed to look right through her, and the lines on his forehead indicated that his intense expression was habitual. She decided it probably took a great deal to impress this man—or figure in his affections at all.

  “You’re Purcell’s daughter, eh?” He rubbed his chin with a large callused hand, making a scratching sound.

  She nodded, feeling a bit apprehensive about what he might ask her next. But when Justine took his hand, his face immediately mellowed. “That whole thing couldn’t have been easy on you,” he said. “We’re happy to have you here.”

  Madison was pretty sure Justine was behind that sentiment. But Madison muttered the same polite remarks she’d been saying since she’d arrived, then had to repeat them one more time when Tamara’s husband, Mac, finally showed up. Mac had just started to say, “Nice to meet you,” when his cell phone rang, and he stepped out to take the call.

  “See what I mean?” Tamara complained.

  Caleb gave one of the twins a raspberry on the head. “What’s this I hear about you having a girlfriend?”

  “I don’t have a girlfriend,” the boy argued. “Joey’s the one who has a girlfriend. He likes Sarah.”

  “I don’t like Sarah!” Joey cried.

  “Then why do you always give her your chocolate milk at lunch?” he challenged.

  “Because I don’t want it.”

  “Right,” Jacob said. “I ask you for it every day, and you won’t give it to me.”

  “That’s because you’re my stupid brother.”

  “Everyone knows you like her.”

  Joey’s face went even redder than when Caleb had held him in that headlock. “Only because you told them.”

  “Did not.”

  “Did, too.”

  “Hey, what’s wrong with liking a girl?” Caleb broke in, putting an arm around both children’s waists and dragging them up against him. “Occasionally you meet one who’s not half-bad,” he added, winking at Madison.

  “They just…they can’t even play tetherball,” Jacob said with disdain. “They spend their whole recess walking around the playground talking.”

  “So? Talking’s bad?” Joey said.

  “It’s boring,” Jacob retorted.

  Justine gestured them to silence. “That’s enough, boys. Your uncle Caleb tells me that Madison has a daughter who’s just a bit younger than the two of you. I was sad that she couldn’t make it tonight, but now I’m beginning to wonder if she isn’t better off.”

  “You don’t have to worry about Brianna,” Caleb said, with what sounded suspiciously like pride. “She’s tough. She could take these two, no problem. One look down her dainty little nose, and they’d be knocking themselves out trying to please her.”

  Madison thought of her daughter opening the door to Caleb that first morning and saying, “Oh, it’s you,” and nearly laughed. Her daughter was tough. She’d faced down an adult and let him know, in no uncertain terms, that she didn’t approve. Of course, Caleb had won her over pretty easily since then. But Madison had difficulty believing any female could withstand his charm for long.

  “If she’s anything like her mother, she’s probably darling,” Justine said.

  Madison felt a blush of pleasure at the compliment, but she liked Caleb’s mother for more than her impeccable manners. She liked the air of authority Justine carried, and the high place she held in her family’s esteem. Madison wished her own family hadn’t been torn apart, especially in such an unusual way. The suspicion surrounding her father had separated her from almost everyone else, even friends of hers who’d suffered through calamities such as divorce, abuse or the death of a loved one.

  “I’m ready for dinner. Can we eat?” Tamara said.

  “Shouldn’t we wait for Mac?” Justine asked.

  “We can’t do that or we’ll all starve,” her daughter replied.

  THROUGH THE FIRST PART of dinner, Madison felt Caleb’s eyes on her often and glanced up to see him smile. She loved that smile, even though it seemed to make a mockery of her puny attempts to hang on to her heart.

  As the meal progressed, Caleb began looking out into the hallway, where Mac was talking to a client or someone else on his phone. Tamara had been carrying on as though her husband’s extended absence from the table didn’t bother her, but her smile had grown brittle and Madison was starting to realize how much it upset her. She could tell Caleb was coming to the same conclusion. Especially when, just before coffee and dessert, he excused himself from the dinner table and slipped out.

  A few seconds later, he came back, and this time Mac was with him.

  “Sorry that took so long,” Tamara’s husband said, completely nonchalant in his tardiness. “It was pretty important.”

  “On a Saturday?” Tamara said.

  He shrugged. “Business is business.”

  Madison caught a subtle glance between Justine and Logan, but neither parent made any comment. Justine simply smiled and asked Mac if she could reheat his plate.

  “No, thanks,” he told her and turned to Caleb. “So how are things going on the case?”

  Case? What case? Madison waited for Caleb’s response, but everything became a little stilted at that point. Justine’s fingers seemed to tighten on her wineglass. Tamara put down her fork, and Logan hesitated with his water halfway to his mouth.

  Caleb was the only one who continued eating. “Work’s going well, as usual. How about you, Mac? You getting that business you were telling me about off the ground?”

  Everyone’s eyes went to Mac, and the tension eased as he launched into a zealous explanation of why the next few months were going to make him a rich man in the import-export business. He rambled on and on, while everyone sat quietly, waiting for him to come to an end—or realize that he was going into far more detail than anyone cared to know.

  Madison watched Tamara, mostly, and noticed the way her eyes flicked from her sons to her brother and finally to her husband. She was obviously struggling with some emotion, and Madison didn’t have to be psychic to know that it was because of her husband’s preoccupation with himself and his business.

  “Are we all ready for coffee and ice cream?” Justine asked when Mac had finally finished eating.

  “I don’t think so,” Tamara said. “Mac and I had better get back. I have a lot of laundry to do and…and I was going to finish painting the downspouts before it got dark.”

  Mac’s cell phone had vibrated twice while he ate. Each time he’d paused to check the caller ID, obviously tempted by what he might be missing. But each time, he’d looked at Caleb and pushed the End button. It was then that Madison knew Caleb had said more to him than a simple, “Your dinner’s getting cold.”

  “I want dessert,” Mac said. Then his phone vibrated again, and he changed his mind about dessert and left the room.

  His “Hello, this is Mac Bly” floated back to them as he moved away.

  Caleb reached over and took his sister’s hand.

  Madison saw that Tamara was fighting tears, and the sympathy of her family was only making it worse, so she quickly stood. “Maybe you wouldn’t mind showing me your house, Tamara,” she said, to offer the other woman an easy retreat.

  Tamara glanced up at her in surprise. “Sure. Excuse us for a few minutes, will you?” she managed to say, and immediately ducked out of the room.

  Madison hesitated, giving her a few seconds’ lead.

  “Is something wrong with Mom?” Jacob asked. At least Madison thought it was Jacob. The bo
ys looked so much alike it was difficult to tell, but she was reasonably sure Jacob was the one in the blue shirt. Thank goodness Tamara hadn’t dressed them alike.

  “She’s fine, dear,” Justine said. “She’s just eager to show Madison your pretty house. She’s put a lot of work into that house, you know.”

  The way Justine said it indicated Tamara was the only one working on the house, but she was certain the boys didn’t pick up on that.

  “Uh-oh,” Joey groaned, nudging Jacob. “She’s gonna be mad at us for not cleaning our rooms.”

  “I promise not to notice, okay?” Madison said at the door, and followed Tamara out.

  She found Caleb’s sister waiting for her on the back porch, wiping her eyes with her hand. “You going to be okay?” Madison asked, sitting down on the step next to her.

  Tamara tried to shrug and ended up sniffing instead and wiping her eyes again. “Do you really want to see my house?”

  “If you feel like showing it to me. Otherwise, we can just sit here until you’re ready to go back inside, and you can give me a tour some other day.” If I’m ever invited back… Strangely, Madison was disappointed by the thought that she might not have another opportunity to come to this place and be with these people.

  Tamara nodded but didn’t move, so Madison assumed the tour wasn’t going to happen today.

  “It shouldn’t bother me, you know,” Tamara muttered, sniffling again. “It’s just…I can’t get his attention for five minutes without an interruption, and the boys aren’t having much better luck. If he says he’ll come to one of their baseball games, he shows up when it’s nearly over and then he spends the short time he’s there standing in the background, where he can’t even see, talking on the damn phone.”

  “My ex-husband was like that,” Madison said.

  Caleb’s sister propped her chin in one hand, looking dejected. “Is that why you divorced him?”

  “No, I was going through some other stuff at the time and didn’t get around to considering our relationship, let alone acknowledging that I’d become very dissatisfied with it. He left me for another woman.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  Madison was surprised to find that it didn’t bother her nearly as much as it used to. “Don’t be. In many ways, he did me a favor. Now I’m not saddled with the guilt of calling it quits, which I would’ve had to do at some point.”

  “Maybe that’s true for me, too, huh?” Tamara eyed her as though fearful she might agree.

  “I don’t get that impression,” Madison said. “I think you and your husband still have a good chance of working out your relationship. He’s just a little…preoccupied and needs to realize what he’s taking for granted.”

  The door opened behind them and they both turned as Caleb stepped outside, looking as sexy as always, despite the dark scowl on his face.

  “What did you say to Mac?” Tamara asked when she saw it was her brother.

  Caleb leaned on the railing. “Obviously not enough.”

  “You kept him off the phone for nearly fifteen minutes. That’s more of an accomplishment than you know.”

  “What’s the problem between you two?” he asked. “I thought things were going well. That’s what you always tell me.”

  “Isn’t that what you want to hear?”

  “When I ask, I’m looking for the truth.”

  “In a way, things are going well. He hasn’t been unfaithful to me that I know of. He says he loves the boys and me. He just works twenty-four–seven, and in a good year he earns a living.”

  “In a good year?”

  “Not every year is a good year.”

  “What about spending time with Jacob and Joey?”

  “What about it?” She sniffed, looking resentful of her own tears. “I take care of them.”

  “That’s what I thought.” Caleb sighed as he gazed out over the backyard. “When did it get so bad?”

  Tamara shrugged. “I can’t name a particular time. It’s something that’s gotten progressively worse. He’s just so intent on becoming rich.”

  “At the sacrifice of everything else?”

  “I don’t know,” she said. “I haven’t tested him on that yet.”

  A large tabby cat hopped up the steps and started purring as it rubbed against Caleb’s legs. “Is that where the problems between you are going?” he asked.

  Tamara didn’t answer. “Look at that,” she said, motioning to the cat. “Even my Tabby likes you better than me. Isn’t that the story of my life?”

  She’d said it jokingly, but Madison felt there might be a kernel of jealousy in those words.

  “Are you serious?” Caleb said. “If you felt that way, why were you always working so hard to make sure nothing ever happened to me? ‘Don’t ride your bike in the street.’ ‘You’re not tall enough to go on that roller coaster.’ ‘Don’t go swimming in the creek without your life preserver.’ ‘Mom and Dad, Caleb snuck out again last night.’”

  “You know why,” she said gruffly.

  He nudged her with his knee. “I don’t think I do.”

  “What a bonehead,” Tamara muttered to Madison. “Because I love you, silly. First you were my baby brother, the very center of our family. Then you became the standard for everything I wanted in a husband.”

  Caleb blinked, then pinched the back of his neck. “Ah, Tammy. How am I supposed to hold all that tattling against you when you say things like that?”

  Madison was beginning to feel she was part of a conversation better suited to privacy. She got up to head back inside, but Caleb hooked an arm around her shoulders and pulled her to him as casually as though they’d been dating for months. “Will you tell my poor sister that I’ve been a jerk and I’m sorry?” he said.

  Madison grinned down at Tamara. “Caleb says he’s going to make up for all the grief he’s put you through in the past. He’ll stay with the boys next weekend and baby-sit while you and Mac get away and, hopefully, talk. He promises to keep in better touch in the future. And…” She paused to think, purposefully ignoring the are-you-nuts? expression on Caleb’s face “…oh yes, if you ever need money, you know right where to come.”

  “Do you have any idea how hard it is to take care of those two boys?” he asked. In the face of baby-sitting, the promise of money was evidently minor, but she could tell he was only teasing, and it went far toward lightening the mood.

  Tamara chuckled as she stood up, her tears now gone. “This girl’s something special,” she said. “I think you should hang on to her.”

  “Wait a second,” he said as his sister started back inside the house. “You’ve hated every woman I’ve ever brought home.”

  “So has everyone else,” she said.

  “Not Mom and Dad.”

  “Especially Mom and Dad.” She cast a know-it-all smile over her shoulder just before the screen door slammed shut.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  “THAT CAN’T BE TRUE,” Caleb said in the wake of his sister’s departure. “I have good taste in women.”

  Madison laughed at his hurt-little-boy expression. “What don’t they like about your first wife?”

  He pulled her down on the steps with him, keeping his arm around her, and Madison couldn’t bring herself to move away, not when sitting so close allowed her to breathe in the aroma of his clean warm skin. “Let’s see…I guess we could start with the fact that she’s insecure and clingy.”

  “And?”

  “Temperamental. Basically high-maintenance.”

  “So you married her because…”

  “I was young and stupid.”

  Madison playfully elbowed him in the ribs. “Come on, there has to be something you liked about her.”

  He pretended to think hard. “I liked being needed for a change. As the baby of the family, I’d spent my life being raised by two more-than-capable women.”

  “Your mother and your sister.”

  “Exactly. I was ready to assert myself as the caregiver,
and Holly wanted someone to take care of her. It seemed like the perfect fit—at first. But I guess you’re right. I liked other things about her, too. I still do. I like the way she throws herself into everything wholeheartedly, usually without looking first. She’s childlike in her exuberance for the things and people she loves.”

  Madison was beginning to regret she’d asked. She no longer felt she had the luxury of throwing herself into anything, least of all a relationship. She had to be cautious. Unlike Holly, she had to look before she leaped. Certainly she didn’t compare well to the impetuous, trusting woman he’d married before….

  “But I couldn’t live with the moodiness,” he continued. “And she became so obsessive. She’d get jealous when anyone, male or female, wanted a few minutes of my time. She’d even throw a fit if I spoke to my mother more than once a month on the phone. She was just too insecure. I kept thinking that if I changed or she changed or we both did, it might work. But we’re just not compatible. I know that now.”

  “Why didn’t you try for another kid? It sounds as though you were together long enough after the miscarriage. And from what I saw with your nephews, you like children.”

  He smiled wistfully. “I love kids. I always have. But—” he found a small pebble on the step beside him and tossed it into the yard “—things weren’t right between us and I knew it.”

  “You’ll have other opportunities,” Madison said.

  He turned to look at her. His eyes lingered on her face, then lowered to her breasts, and Madison felt her nipples tighten and tingle as though he’d touched her. “I hope so.”

  She cleared her throat. “How many children do you want?”

  Lightly rubbing the side of her face with his thumb, he continued to gaze down at her. “Three. Maybe four. Unless my wife wants a dozen or so. That would be okay, too.”

  She laughed. “A dozen?”

  “Think of all the Little League games,” he said.

  “I am! And the homework and dentist appointments and science projects and weddings—”

  He waved airily. “Piece of cake.”

  She rolled her eyes. “You just complained about having to baby-sit your two nephews.”