Almost Lost, Never Forgotten

by T. L. Sieving

  “OK!”

  I laugh, “OK Sam.”

  “You should have heard him Lucy, he took complete control over you and told security he’d handle it. He called his team doctor to come and check on you and stayed up watching over you all night. He looked like hell when we got there in the morning and he had to leave for his game but he didn’t want to leave you.”

  “He told me I threw up all over myself and that he had to bathe me,” I tell her.

  “Yeah I know. He called Jax and told him and asked him if it’d be ok with him to bathe you.”

  “He did?”

  “Yeah, pretty amazing huh?”

  Yeah it is pretty amazing. I cut Chase out of my life and he pops back in not only saving my life but being completely respectful of my new boyfriend. Holy shit, what did I do? It doesn’t make sense that he cares this much.

  “Yeah it is,” is all I can say.

  “Lucy he cares about you a lot. He’s a good guy,” she tells me and I agree.

  I tell her how I’m going to his game tomorrow and how he’s ‘babysitting’ me and she apologizes for being overly motherly with me.

  “Are you guys keeping in contact?” I ask her.

  “Um, yeah, actually both Jax and I have been. We’re both so thankful to him. I’ve been texting him with updates of how you were. He was worried and you weren’t calling him like he asked.”

  “Oh, yeah true. Well thanks,” I say.

  She asks me if I’m mad and I’m not. These are some great friends I have and they’re all focused on making sure I’m ok.

  “So, he bathed you completely naked you know?” Sam tells me and I laugh.

  “Yeah I heard.”

  “I wonder if he was naked in the shower with you?” Sam says and we both laugh.

  “So unfair if he wasn’t. Wait it’s so unfair that I don’t remember my sponge bath.”

  It feels so good to be laughing and changing this horrible situation into girly talk. It feels good to be talking to Sam.

  We say goodnight and I fall asleep effortlessly.

  Chapter 20

  It’s amazing to be on the field watching Chase warm up with the Detroit Mustangs national baseball team. I’ve watched him play my whole life and now baseball is part of my career. We were on the field yesterday, but its different today with the fans in the stands.

  It’s noon and the game is at 1pm. I’m standing with some of the analysts that I’ve met before and I know this is ultimately what I want to do. I love following the games and I’d love to be discussing each game on air and following the teams around.

  The crowd is so electrifying that you can’t help but be excited. I’m not working so I can have a beer, hot dog, and sit to watch the game.

  Chase plays first base and is a heavy hitter. I’m amazed at the skills he’s enhanced over the past few years. It’s hard to imagine this is the same guy I saw in little league when he was only six.

  I get a text from Rebekka that says there are no edits needed for the interview and I’m on cloud 9. She recommends that I get some game day footage to add to the promo work they’re working on. I grab one of the videographers and we go up front.

  The stadium is alive with activity and the shots of fans we get are amazing. I think my favorite is a shot of a dad being dragged back to the game by his son after waiting in line for beers.

  I stuff my face with peanuts, doughnuts, hot dogs, pretzels, and two beers. I’m so full I feel like I’m going to pass out, but it’s kind of a tradition to eat like that at a game, and I couldn’t resist.

  I get back to my seat that is right in front of the field just in time to see Chase up to bat in the bottom of the ninth. They’re losing by one with the bases loaded and one out. Chase swings and misses on the first throw but on the second he hits his 5th grand slam of the season. This is huge for Chase and I can see the little boy grin on his face as he rounds the bases.

  Thanks to Chase’s hit they win and I can’t imagine a better high than this.

  I go with some of the NBC crew to review the edits and make sure everything looks good.

  Rebekka is right, the interview is fabulous and it looks ready for them to create the final cuts on. They attached another clip that makes me super embarrassed.

  They’ve put together a collage of clips to use of both funny and serious moments from both my first and second interviews.

  They show me some clips from the first interview with Chase which I’m surprised to see. I didn’t notice the way we were looking at each other but they caught it on camera. They put it together perfectly and it looks good. I’m glad something is usable from that day.

  What I feel concern over is how many clips they have of us staring at each other. I don’t remember the interview like that at all. It looks like there’s something unspoken between us. It’s probably not a good look to be showing America.

  I love the concept of this, but I need to have the final editing input.

  It’s 6pm and I’m starting to get hungry. Greek food sounds good so I decide to get some on my way back to the hotel and eat peacefully on my balcony.

  I’m alone for the first time without some place to go or someone looking over me. Realization hits and panic settles in. I knew I was pushing this drugging situation out of my mind, but I was hoping it wouldn’t affect me. I guess I’m not that lucky.

  I’m suddenly consumed with fear. I keep checking the locks over and over again. I called Jax and it went right to voicemail. I knew he was in meetings finalizing the schedules for his next movie but it didn’t ease my need for him.

  I’m on the penthouse floor so there’s a concierge stationed at the elevator. You have to have a special key just to gain access to this floor. My doors are locked and secure. I know all this but it’s not helping the feeling of overwhelming panic.

  I didn’t want to call Sam after the conversation we had yesterday, so I call Chase. Not the best idea since a girl answers who tells me she’s his girlfriend. I assume it was the same gorgeous girl that I saw him kiss back in New York. Lucky for me she will give Chase the message.

  Being locked in the bathroom is where I feel safest. I lock the door and slide down to the floor.

  The fear of someone taking advantage of me overtakes me as I curl into a ball. I’ve never felt so alone as I cry myself to sleep.

  I wake up in a panic. I had a nightmare of someone drugging me and dragging me out of a bar. The man in my dream is faceless but the look on his face is of pure lust and is sickening to think about. Knowing what he wanted to do to me is horrible.

  I reach for my phone. It’s only midnight making it 9pm in California. Sam is the only missed text so I text Jax to see if he’s around. I don’t get an answer.

  Fear takes over and I know I’m having an anxiety attack. I text Jax again and ask him to call me as soon as he can. I need him!

  I’m too afraid to leave the bathroom for fear that someone is out there. I know this is irrational at some level but the fear is playing a more solid game of war in my mind.

  I sit and stare at the door, waiting for someone to come in. I stare and stare and stare for what must be hours until I fall asleep again on the floor.

  I wake up to pounding on the bathroom door and I’m scared senseless. I just sit there sobbing hoping that I’m dreaming. The door bursts opens and Chase runs in. He picks me up and holds me tightly rocking me back and forth.

  “Shh, Lucy, I’m here. You’re ok,” Chase is saying trying to calm me down but I’m hyperventilating. I see him grab his phone and text something but I don’t care at this moment who he’s texting, I’m so happy I’m safe.

  Once I’m more calm, I wonder what happened. I look at my phone and its 2:15am. I’ve missed 25 calls between Jax and Chase and 50 texts from them. Chase tells me that Jax called him when he couldn’t get a hold of me and asked Chase to come check on me.

  Chase says I need to call Jax and leaves me alone in the bathroom. I immediately feel the loss.

&
nbsp; I calm Jax down; he’s overcome with grief that he wasn’t available for me when I needed him. I apparently called him quite a few times and the text asking him to call me ASAP scared him.

  After I talk to Jax I’m feeling more normal and a little embarrassed. I wash my face and can’t believe who I see in the mirror. I’m a shadow of myself, of who I was just a few hours ago. I secure my hair in a pony tail and head back into the room to face Chase.

  “Hi,” Chase says as I enter the living area.

  “Hey Chase. Um, how did you get in here?” I ask. I’m wondering if this room is in fact secure since he was able to break in. Maybe I’m not as crazy as I look.

  “I didn’t do it alone. The Renaults have talked to the owners and they know that I’m helping to watch over you.”

  What did he just say? My fear just turned into fury.

  “Are you watching over me Chase?” I ask with the most sarcasm I can. “Have you all sat down and drawn straws over who should babysit me?” How dare them, how dare Chase!

  He crosses over to me and tries to calm me. “No, no, no, Lucy it’s not like that,” he tries to tell me.

  “No?”

  I mean, seriously, how can he say it’s not like that when it clearly is.

  “Both Sam and Jax were worried and just asked me to make sure you were ok. We thought you’d be fine here.”

  I’m not just mad I’m also hurt. Chase has been spending time with me to make sure I’m babysat? It didn’t mean to him what it’s meant to me to be spending this time together, but does this surprise me? This is the same boy who, two minutes after we break up, was shacking up with the first girl that would spread her legs for him.

  The interview was so perfect, but maybe it has to do with our shared love of baseball. That day on the field was flawless but maybe that was us sharing the dream we both have of the game. I’ve been so stupid. I went right back into my old friendship with Chase instead of remembering what he did to us.

  How could Jax and Sam have him babysit me? I get that they have this need to protect me, but can we cut the crap already. I’m a grown woman.

  “Well, thank you so much, Chase, for babysitting me,” I say with disgust. “It sure has been great catching up with you, but if you can please excuse me I’ll relieve you of that duty and we can both get back to our lives.”

  “Lucy, stop it! It’s not like that.”

  “It sure the fuck sounds like that to me Chase and let’s just be honest ok? I haven’t seen you in four years and I haven’t needed you either. I think I can handle this.”

  I instantly regret being vindictive to him. I can’t believe he was able to hurt me this badly. It probably doesn’t affect him like this. After all, he was spending time with me because someone asked him to.

  “Wow Lucy, thank you for the reminder. I almost forgot that you haven’t needed me since the moment you thought we should break up. I almost forgot that it was you who walked out of my life completely disrupting everything that I thought we had. I forgot Luciana how easy it is for you to walk out of someone’s life, so let me try it now.” He says and walks out slamming the hotel door behind him.

  How could he say that I walked out of his life and disrupted it? He seemed to be living just fine. I guess being one of the most talented rookies in the MLB has made Chase forget about the girl that would’ve done anything for him, including letting him go, for the chance of ‘living’ before we got married.

  HA, married. Yeah right. Like we knew anything about what it’d be like to be together at this age. I’m so angry at him, all over again. I thought I was finally getting past that. Seeing him again is like reliving that night so many years ago and it sucks!

  I can’t stop the tears rolling down my cheeks and I don’t even bother to wipe them. I’m sad at the loss of Chase, once again, and I vow never to let him hurt me again. I cry and cry and cry and finally fall asleep. No longer in fear of the faceless man trying to hurt me, but now in fear of the face from the past who just hurt me.

  Chapter 21

  I wake up to a knock at the door. Who could that be? I look through the peep hole and thank God, it’s Jax.

  I unlock it as fast as I can, swing it open, and jump into his strong arms. “Oh my God Jax, it’s you,” I say as I’m holding on to him for dear life.

  “Good morning, gorgeous, it’s so good to see you safe and sound.”

  He closes the door and holds me in his arms as he walks toward the bathroom. “Let’s get you cleaned up, packed, and out of here!”

  “Where are we going?” It’s Saturday and I’m working in Columbus tomorrow.

  “I’m taking you back to New York and we’ll head to Columbus tomorrow morning. A night in your own bed will be good for you, me and Sam.”

  “Don’t go all kinky on me hot stuff, there will be no threesomes,” I say sarcastically, and he laughs as he bends down to kiss my head.

  “Very funny Lucy… I’ve missed you.”

  There's sadness in his eyes as he walks out of the bathroom leaving me alone.

  Um… OK!

  I turn the shower on and wash up quickly. I need to put an end to this. Last Saturday night will not define our relationship. I shower and head out into the room, with just a towel on.

  Jax is on the phone with his back toward me telling someone to expect us in about an hour. He hangs up and turns around in time for me to drop my towel. His mouth opens and it’s obvious his erection is growing in his pants.

  “Think we have some exploring time?” I ask him. He just stands there but I see the lust growing in his eyes.

  “Are you sure Lucy?”

  I walk over and stand in front of him tracing his erection in his shorts with my finger. “Well Jax, if you’re not sure, I don’t mind handling this myself.”

  I unbutton his shorts and pull them down. He steps out of them as I reach for his boxers. I slowly inch my fingers around the elastic and rub along his taut stomach, teasing him.

  I push him toward the chair and downward so he’s sitting. “I think I’ll just take care of this.” I tell him as he lets out a moan.

  His boxers come off and his long thick erection is waiting for me. “I sure have missed the site of you,” I tell him as I lean in and lick him from the bottom to tip.

  Jax moans and it turns me on. I love that he’s this affected by me playing with him.

  I cup his balls and pull down on them sharply. He gasps, “Oh fuck Lucy!”

  “Well we can fuck… but first I’m going to suck you until you come.”

  I don’t know where this vixen came from but I'm not complaining.

  “Lucy if you’re going to talk like that I’m only going to last seconds.”

  What a challenge! It won’t be my talking that makes him come in seconds though.

  I open my throat to take him all the way in and suck hard as I pull out using my hand for further help.

  “Oh… wow!” he proclaims and I can’t help but be proud.

  I lick him slowly and suck the tip harshly. “I’m going to cum Lucy,” he tells me and I take him in faster sucking and using my hands to make sure he’s completely satisfied as he pours into my mouth.

  I keep sucking as he finishes and pay special attention to his balls that must have been achy after a week without contact with me.

  Jax rips his shirt off and pulls me off the floor. “You’re incredible,” he tells me as we share a maddening kiss.

  The passion between us could start a fire as he sits back down on the chair and puts me top of him. Slowly I straddle his hard cock and insert it inside me, I take it all in easily because I’m extremely wet after that hot kiss.

  I rock back and forth not wanting to give up the feeling of him entering me. When I lean into him I take his ear in my mouth and suck down scraping my teeth on his lobe which drives him crazy. I suck on his neck all the way to his other ear, moaning the whole way.

  “God, you feel so good!” I whisper as he moans deeply into my ear.

&nb
sp; “I want you so bad!” he tells me as I ride him till we both find our releases.

  We stay melted together until we get our breath back. I’m not ready to leave his arms. I’m amazed at how much I needed to be wrapped up in them.

  My mind is racing thinking of the past week and how much has changed. The anxiety of seeing Chase again and the horrible interview we had. The nameless, faceless, man who tried to do God-knows-what with me. And now here, in Detroit, going through so many memories and emotions with Chase only to find out that he was here in pity for me. Well thank you, but no thank you; I don’t need pity from anyone.

  How dare Chase say it was me who walked out of his life? What kind of women would I be today if I stayed and let him have that indiscretion with Lexi? Weak! I’d be weak.

  “Do you want to shower again babe?” Jax asks me.

  “Well Jax, I was really horny for you and you may not want to keep me waiting like that again,” I tell him as I get dressed in the sexy bra and panty set that he bought me while we were in Los Angeles. He’s watching me intensely as I get dressed and I love the show I can put on for him. Something came alive in me and I can’t get enough.

  Before he can even get his pants on I walk over to him and kiss him. It escalates quickly and we have the roughest and best sex we’ve had.

  We land back in New York and Sam picks us up. She seems super excited; something I can always tell because she talks a mile a minute. It feels so good to be home.

  When we arrive at the townhouse I shower, unpack, and repack. I’m back on the road tomorrow but Jax was right, it feels amazingly secure to be back in my own room.

  I spend most of the day doing homework. I need to finish researching the two players I’m interviewing this week. I can’t believe we’re on track and we’ll be half way done with the interviews this week.

  Sam comes in and asks if we can talk. I thought she had something to say so I’m glad I don’t have to pry it out of her. She asks how I’m doing but I quickly tell her to cut the shit and spill it!

  I’m not shocked but tears roll down my face. She’s going to take this acting job and I’m so proud of her. She told her parents this week and is finalizing the contract. Her parents are supporting her and I’m sure her mom is very proud. I jump into her arms and she falls over. I'm thrilled she’s doing it.