Alice's Nightmare In Wonderland

by Jonathan Green

  “And so we meet at last,” the girl says.

  “But…” Alice struggles to find the words as she realises that she is looking at a mirror image of herself, albeit one with a cruel expression more akin to that of the Red Queen on her face. “You’re me.”

  “Not yet, but that is the plan,” replies the other.

  “Now I really must be dreaming,” Alice gasps in disbelief.

  “But of course you are, foolish girl. You’ve been dreaming ever since you met my minion on the riverbank. This has all been a dream. But that doesn’t make it any less real.”

  “Your minion?”

  “Of course! He didn’t know he was, but that makes no odds in the end.”

  So, Alice knows the truth at last. “This has all been a trap to lure me here? But to what end?”

  “Conquest, of course. To seize power, to usurp control.”

  “Conquest? Of Wonderland?”

  “No, you imbecile! Of you! Of your physical form! I plan to take over your body!” Alice’s alter-ego shrieks, suddenly sounding a lot like a crazed queen Alice once met at a croquet match. “When you entered the Looking-Glass House the first time, I entered your world in return, and had a taste of the delights it had to offer. But when you woke from your dream I was dragged back here, to this unreality, this pale shadow realm of insubstantial hopes and fears given transient form, to brood and scheme. For it was worse being back here, having seen what the waking world had to offer, than it was to be lost within your unconscious id in the first place. Having had a taste I wanted more, and for that to happen I had to take control. And now here you are, ensnared within my trap, my plan of acquisition coming to fruition at long last. Why, today must be my birthday.”

  “Well, it’s not my birthday!” Alice says crossly. “And if you’re me then it can’t be your birthday either.”

  “Why not?” challenges the Other Alice.

  “Because that’s simple logic.”

  “Then it must be my unbirthday,” the Other Alice gloats.

  “A Looking-Glass Alice taking over my body from inside a dream? Why that’s impossible!” says Alice, her well-reasoned logical argument helping her gain a foothold in this unreal reality, some of her old confidence and resourcefulness resurfacing.

  “Impossible? Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast,” counters the Other.

  “And to think I was once very fond of pretending to be two people,” says Alice, weary of all this verbal sparring. “But it’s no use now to pretend to be two people! Why, there’s hardly enough of me left to make one respectable person!”

  “And that person will be me!” hisses the Other.

  “And how do you reason that?” asks Alice.

  “Simple,” says the Other, “all I have to do is kill you. If you die here, when your body awakens, it will no longer be you looking out of your eyes. It will be me!”

  “And how do you propose to do that?” Alice challenges her black-hearted doppelgänger. “You are no bigger than I am, even in this unreality. We are the same, except that I am the bearer of the Vorpal Sword.”

  “Imagination is the only weapon in the war against reality,” the Other Alice mocks her, and with that begins to transform.

  The Other Alice’s neck begins to elongate, writhing like a serpent as it does so. At the same time, her body starts to swell, bursting free of her pinafore dress, her skin blackening as it becomes hard and scaly. A huge pair of wings burst from her back and unfurl to stretch across the width of the chessboard. Her feet become gigantic dragon-like talons, her fingers steel-hard curling black claws. And looming above it all, atop the twisting serpentine neck, is the mirror image of Alice’s own face.

  “Your move,” laughs the Alice-Jabberwock.

  How can the real Alice hope to conquer the Other Alice’s monstrous alter ego, even if she is armed with the Vorpal Sword? If only she didn’t have to face the Jabberwock alone.

  If Alice has a Golden Feather, turn to 29. If not, turn to 79.

  50

  Turning on her heels, Alice sets off at a sprint along the gravel paths.

  Take an Endurance Test. If Alice passes the test, turn to 472. If she fails the test, turn to 461.

  51

  Alice takes a moment to stand before the fountain pool, enjoying the cooling shower of moisture upon her face, watching rainbows form between the sparkling sprays of water, and listening to the ceaseless splash and gurgle of the cascading fountainhead.

  “It is traditional to throw a coin into a fountain and make a wish,” Alice says to herself.

  If you think it appropriate for her to maintain that particular tradition, turn to 95. If not, turn to 241.

  52

  Alice is halfway up the cliff-face when she misjudges a hand-hold and, unbalanced, her feet slip beneath her. With all her weight suddenly hanging from one hand, she can hold on no longer.

  She lands at the bottom of the cliff in a heap, whimpering in pain, her hand immediately going to her ankle. Just as she feared, she has sprained it badly.

  Lose 3 Endurance points, reduce Alice’s Agility score by 2 points and her Combat score by 1 point. If Alice is still able to go on, turn to 17.

  53

  Still dropping like a stone down the well shaft, the petticoats of her dress ballooning about her like a parachute, Alice looks at the picture she managed to grab. Only it isn’t a picture, it’s a map.

  The map is of an island. It shows a swamp, and beyond that a path that branches left and right before a large, gnarled tree in the middle of a forest. The right-hand path leads to craggy uplands, while the left-hand path passes a cave. Both paths eventually lead to a white stone keep that reminds Alice of a Rook chess piece.

  As Alice continues to fall, the wind whips the map out of her hands again.

  Turn to 82.

  54

  Alice takes a swig of the crimson potion and carefully places the bottle back on the table. No sooner has she done so than she feels the world about her start to spin.

  “What is happening to me?” she gasps. “Am I growing bigger or am I shrinking?”

  Abruptly the world stops spinning and Alice looks about her. She is just the same size as she was before she drank the potion but her surroundings have changed.

  She is standing next to a white-painted arbour that is strung with wisteria. Resting upon a table inside the arbour is a glass bottle containing a bright blue liquid. A path leads away east through the maze.

  If you want Alice to drink from the bottle, turn to 74. If not, she must follow the path east (turn to 270).

  55

  “There must be some way to resolve this unhappy situation,” Alice thinks as the creature composed of china and silver-plated steel comes closer with every jerking step.

  Take a Logic test. If Alice passes, turn to 281. If she fails, turn to 271.

  56

  The snapping blades nick Alice’s arm, drawing blood, as she tries to turn to avoid the mechanical menace’s violent assault.

  Lose 2 Endurance points and turn to 47.

  57

  Squeezing along the tunnel, Alice drags herself through the loamy dark, unable to see more than a foot in front of her face. There is no sign of the White Rabbit now.

  The further Alice wriggles along the tunnel, between probing roots and writhing worms, dangling from the roof of the burrow, the more opaque the gloom becomes.

  Without any warning the tunnel dips suddenly downwards, so suddenly, in fact, that Alice doesn’t have a moment to think about stopping herself before she is plunging headfirst down the damp throat of what is clearly a very deep well.

  But as she falls, and her eyes become accustomed to the darkness, Alice realises that the sides of the well are lined with cupboards and bookshelves. Looking down she can see no end to the well-shaft in sight.

  However, she is coming up on another cupboard. If you think Alice should try to find out what it holds as she passes, turn to 109
. If not, turn to 156.

  58

  Alice soon comes to another branching of the ways in the yew-hedge maze, but which way should she go?

  North? Turn to 70.

  East? Turn to 465.

  West? Turn to 38.

  59

  As the bizarre vivisect-hybrid bears down on her Alice realises that rather than screaming it is singing, its howls distorted by their passage through the water. “Will you, won’t you, will you, won’t you, will you join the dance?”

  Alice has no choice but to fight the Mock Turtle (which has the initiative).

  MOCK TURTLE COMBAT 7 ENDURANCE 7

  If Alice survives her encounter with the mad Mock Turtle, turn to 118.

  60

  Now is not the time for Alice to start to doubt her own ability to complete the quest and slay the monster that is the Red Queen. Reduce Alice’s Combat score by 1 point and then turn to 72.

  61

  Alice steps through the door to find herself standing in a gloomy castle corridor.

  As she is taking in her surroundings, another Alice runs past her and then stops at an iron-bound oak door. Taking a large iron key from a hook on the wall, she unlocks the door and peers inside…

  “Alice, you must come back now,” the voice of the Caterpillar echoes from somewhere deeper within the chill corridors of the palace. “Come back…”

  Turn to 108.

  62

  Just when Alice thinks she can’t possibly fall any further, ground appears at the bottom of the well and she lands in a pile of dry leaves which, miraculously, break her fall. Unhurt, she is on her feet in a moment.

  Turn to 114.

  63

  The Caterpillar told Alice what the secret password was, but can you remember what it was? If you can, turn the word into numbers using the code A=1, B=2… Z=26, add them up and turn to the paragraph with the same number as the total.

  If you cannot remember the password, or the section you turn to makes no sense, turn to 113 instead and try an alternative.

  64

  An arm up in front of her face to shield her eyes from the force of the wind, Alice determinedly strides into the teeth of the rising gale as leaves and twigs whirl about her. A thorny branch suddenly whips past, catching her, leaving a deep gouge in the flesh of her exposed fore-arm, causing Alice to gasp in pain and surprise. (Take 1 point from Alice’s Endurance score.)

  The rumble of thunder comes again, closer now and louder, only it’s not thunder, it is the sound of booming laughter. Looking up at the storm-wracked sky, Alice can see a hideous face forming amidst the clouds. It is that of an ugly woman, with a large pointed nose, wobbly double chins, and wearing a crown. And its glowering storm-cloud eyes are fixed on Alice. (Add 1 to Alice’s Insanity score.)

  The wind is getting stronger all the time. Glancing after the White Rabbit, Alice sees it vanish down a rabbit-hole at the edge of the field. There is no other shelter within sight.

  If you think Alice should seek shelter inside the rabbit-hole, turn to 96. If you think she should stand strong in the face of the growing storm, turn to 85.

  65

  Alice darts left and right, trying to confuse the Snap-dragon-flies, hoping that she will be able to dodge past them at any moment. However, all Alice’s manages to achieve is to aggravate the insects which dart it with their thorny stings bared, both delivering painful jabs.

  Lose 3 Endurance points and, if Alice is able to continue with her adventure, turn to 112.

  66

  Raising the Spade as if it were a weapon rather than a digging implement, Alice prepares to defend herself against the gardeners. The three curiously-dressed labourers immediately drop their tools, a look of horror on their faces.

  “The Ace of Spades!” one of them shouts, his eyes fixed on the blade of the Spade held above Alice’s head. “A higher card!”

  And with that, all three turn tail and flee into the leafy pathways of the maze.

  Turn to 36.

  67

  Her shoes slipping in the sand, her breath coming in desperate, ragged gasps, Alice flees from the Walrus’s angry charge. But the animal is built for an aquatic life, making it slow and ungainly on land.

  Alice soon outpaces the Walrus and deciding that it will be even harder for the creature to follow her into the dunes than along the beach, she heads into the marram grass topped hills.

  Turn to 312.

  68

  Hefting the Mallet in both hands, raising it over her shoulder, ready to bring it down hard on the heads of the horrific hedgehogs, Alice is surprised when the wooden club gives a raucous squawk and is suddenly a wooden club no more.

  Kicking its spindly legs and flapping its wings furiously, the mallet-turned-flamingo frees itself from Alice’s grasp and takes to the air, squawking angrily, eventually disappearing over the hedge-tops of the maze.

  Strike the Mallet from Alice’s Adventure Sheet and turn to 78.

  69

  The scissoring blades snap shut and a lock of Alice’s hair tumbles to the floor. She has escaped serious injury by only a hair’s breadth. Turn to 47.

  70

  It is not long before Alice reaches another right-angled turn in the maze. Should she go south (turn to 58) or west (turn to 84)?

  71

  Cupping her hands together, Alice catches some of the water as it spurts from the tip of the knight’s spear and then, trying to do so in as lady-like a manner as she can manage, drinks deeply.

  The water is as refreshing as Alice had hoped, but better than that it actually has a reenergising effect upon her body. (Add up to 8 Endurance points and add 1 point to both Alice’s Agility score and her Combat score.)

  Now it’s time to explore somewhere new – turn to 380.

  72

  Alice is ready for the Red Queen this time. Hefting the Vorpal Sword in her hands once more she prepares to do away with the vampire-queen who now haunts this place, once and for all. (Alice has the initiative in this battle.)

  VAMPIRESS COMBAT 11 ENDURANCE 12

  If Alice is victorious in her battle with the Red Queen, turn to 125. If not, then her adventure will end here, as the vampire begins to feast…

  73

  “Falsehood!” booms the guard. Make a note that the guards have the initiative and turn to 163.

  74

  Putting the bottle to her lips, Alice takes a gulp of the blue potion before carefully setting the bottle down again upon the table. A moment later, her stomach lurches as the world start to spin about her.

  The child feels horribly dizzy, as if she is having to endure a ride on the waltzers at a funfair. (Deduct 1 Endurance point.)

  And then suddenly the world stops spinning. As the woozy dizziness fades, Alice dares open her eyes again. She is sitting on the ground beside a gazebo clad in honeysuckle, beneath which, resting upon a glass table, is a glass bottle containing a crimson-coloured liquid. A path leads off east into the maze.

  “I’m beginning to get the feeling I’ve been here before,” Alice says to no one in particular, since no one in particular is precisely who is keeping her company at present.

  If you think Alice should drink from the bottle, turn to 54. If not, she must follow the path east – turn to 220.

  75

  “Tweedle-dee and Tweedle-dum, I’ve got an aching in my tum,” says the first head as it sniffs the air above the spot where Alice crouches, shaking, hidden beneath the bracken.

  “Tweedle-dum and Tweedle-dee, I think I’ve found it. Time for tea!” the second head roars and the Ogre reaches down with a huge hand, catching Alice up. Dragging her from the undergrowth, the brute throws her onto the bone-strewn ground in front of its cave.

  Lose 1 Endurance point and turn to 30.

  76

  Keeping the towers of the palace in sight over the tops of the hedges, Alice comes at last to a set of tall gates. Beyond the gates, a drawbridge over a moat leads to the barbican gatehouse of a vast palace.


  However, barring her way, standing in front of the gates, are two, burly brutes wearing ill-fitting tabards that make them look like playing cards – the Six and Seven of Clubs in this case.

  “Halt! Who goes there?” demands one of the guards. “Friend of foe?”

  “Friend?” Alice answers hesitantly, all too aware of how burly and brutish the two guards appear, and how knobbly their clubs look.

  “And what is your business at the Palace?” asks the other guard in a high-pitched nasal voice. “Here to see the Queen, I suppose.”

  “Yes, that’s right,” replies Alice, playing along with the unwitting guards now.

  “Then you’ll know what the password is,” says the first, an ugly smug grin creasing his lumpen features.”

  If you want Alice to give the guards a password, turn to 113. If you want Alice to charge the gates, in an attempt to break through, make a note that Alice has the initiative and turn to 163. If you want Alice to use the Curiouser and Curiouser ability at this juncture instead, turn to 86.

  77

  The cake has a strangely familiar taste, like allspice and marzipan. (Regain up to 4 Endurance points.)

  “Curiouser and curiouser!” cries Alice. “I’m opening out like the largest telescope that ever was!”