Alice's Nightmare In Wonderland

by Jonathan Green

  “Now, if you’ll only attend, Kitty, I’ll tell you all my ideas about Looking-glass House. First, there’s the room you can see through the glass – that’s just the same as our drawing room, only the things go the other way. I can see all of it when I get upon a chair – all but the bit behind the fireplace. Oh! I do so wish I could see that bit! Well then, the books are something like our books, only the words go the wrong way; I know that, because I’ve held up one of our books to the glass, and then they hold up one in the other room.”

  Alice breaks off as she tries to read the names on the spines on the books on the bookcase in the Looking-glass house… And finds that she can read them without any problem at all.

  “The books in the mirror are the right way round,” Alice tells the kitten, “but then… that must mean that we are inside the Looking-glass house.”

  Alice’s mind suddenly feels clear at last. “This isn’t real!” she exclaims.

  Picking up a poker from beside the fireplace, Alice’s takes a step closer to the mirror.

  “None of this is real!”

  Raising the poker, she swings it at the looking-glass.

  The mirror shatters, shards of silvered glass cascading down about her, revealing nothing but the black void of oblivion beyond. And then the fireplace fractures, as does the table and the chess set, the arm-chair, and even the kitten, and Alice’s world falls apart around her…

  Turn to 49.

  160

  The air is thick with the pine-scent of the evergreen boughs all about Alice. Reaching another junction, this time should she head north (turn to 140), go east (turn to 170), or make her way south through the maze (turn to 180)?

  161

  The coin lands with a plop in the pool where it proceeds to sink to the bottom, and Alice’s wish is granted. Add 1 point to her Logic score, and then turn to 241.

  162

  Alice endures the agony of her body being torn apart by the monstrous beast, her head rolling away across the swampy ground until it comes to rest beside the root bole of a gnarled tree…

  Alice opens her eyes. She is back in the library and there is no sign of the battle she has just been involved in having taken place here. (Restore half the Endurance points Alice lost in her battle with the Jabberwock.)

  Deciding that it is best if she doesn’t read any more books, just in case she finds herself trapped in one of them for good, Alice puts the slim volume back on a shelf and leaves the library.

  Alice may now also use The Pen is Mightier ability a total of four times, rather than three. Make a note of this on Alice’s Adventure Sheet, and then turn to 454.

  163

  The two thugs on the gate lower their weapons as the burlier and uglier of the two gives the command, “Attack!”

  Can Alice use the The Pen is Mightier ability to save herself now? If so, and you want her to do so, turn to 183. If not, turn to 193.

  164

  Alice is still stuck in the Hall of Doors. If she hasn’t done so already, she could try drinking the contents of the bottle on the table (turn to 387), or alternatively she can keeping trying the doors to see if one of them will actually open (turn to 339).

  165

  The courtyard of the ivory tower is full of stone statues of knights on horseback and infantry soldiers. Alice makes her way between theses silent sentinels to the castle keep, climbing a spiral stone staircase to the top.

  Within the uppermost chamber of the tower she finds a white marble sarcophagus. Carved into the lid is an armoured king at his repose, a stone sword gripped in his hands. As Alice watches, the statue blinks and the marble figure starts to gnash his teeth, a hideous transformation overcoming the carving as the mists return.

  The dead king’s features flatten and bright orange fur bursts from his face. His eyes turn yellow and his teeth becomes large fangs as he opens his mouth wider and wider as he gives voice to a savage roar.

  Turn to 452.

  166

  Alice has found her way into a tidy little room with a table in the window. Lying on the table are a fan and a pair of white kid gloves. Covering one wall is what can only be described as a very extensive rabbit family tree – or should that be family warren? – but of more interest to Alice is the bottle standing next to a looking-glass. There is no label with the words ‘Drink Me’ on it but Alice has a feeling that, “Something interesting is sure to happen whenever I eat or drink anything.”

  If you think Alice should drink from this bottle, turn to 177. If not, she will have to leave the room through another door to her left (turn to 516).

  167

  Alice backs away from the advancing statue and is unable to stifle the terrified cry that escapes her mouth. The shrill scream echoes around the chamber, the acoustics of the grotto amplifying it, until Alice’s eardrums are throbbing from the noise. (Add 1 to Alice’s Insanity score.)

  But it is not only Alice who is adversely effected by the resonating scream. The stalactites that hang from the roof of the cave start to vibrate in sympathy until – just as the Satyr is about to grab Alice – with a sharp crack, the largest breaks away from the ceiling and plummets to the ground. As luck would have it, the stone spear lands directly on top of the animated statue, smashing it into a thousand pieces that scatter across the floor at Alice’s feet, where they can do her no harm.

  Turn to 188.

  168

  The Rabbit’s eyelids flicker open one last time and Alice can hear the grinding of gears as he articulates his message.

  “Seek out the Seer, only he can help you remember what has been forgotten. Enter the Fungus Forest and find the Caterpillar. The mists will lead you to him.”

  And then the White Rabbit speaks no more, and with one final whirring click, his internal clockwork falls silent too.

  Turn to 179.

  169

  Her heart pounding in her chest, Alice runs at the sinister Tick-Tock Men as the mechanical horrors scrape their gleaming metal claws together, sending sparks flying from the keenly-honed blades.

  If you think Alice should now make use of her The Pen is Mightier ability, turn to 189. If not, turn to 209.

  170

  Alice comes to another turn in the trail. Should she go north (turn to 257) or west (turn to 160)?

  171

  As the Grandfather Clock climbs over the desk, in order to be able to reach her, Alice steels herself for battle. (The Grandfather Clock has the initiative.)

  GRANDFATHER CLOCK COMBAT 8 ENDURANCE 9

  If the Grandfather Clock makes a successful hit against Alice, roll one die (or pick a playing card). If the number rolled is odd (or the card picked is red) the elder Tick-Tock Man cuts her with its scissor-like clock-hand fingers, causing Alice 2 Endurance points of damage. However, if the number rolled is even (or the card picked is black) then the mechanical horror hits her with its swinging pendulum, causing her 3 Endurance points of damage.

  If Alice survives her epic battle with the Grandfather Clock, turn to 152.

  172

  The monstrous creature lies dead at Alice’s feet, its head no longer attached to its sinuous neck.

  One, two! One, two! And through and through

  The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!

  He left it dead, and with its head

  He went galumphing back.

  “And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?

  Come to my arms, my beamish boy!

  O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!”

  He chortled in his joy.

  ‘Twas brillig, and the slithy toves

  Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;

  All mimsy were the borogoves,

  And the mome raths outgrabe.

  Alice closes the book. She is back in the library. There is no sign of the hard fought battle she has just won having taken place here. (Restore Alice’s Endurance score to the level it was before she fought the fictional Jabberwock.)

  Deciding that it is best if she doesn’t read any more bo
oks, just in case she finds herself trapped in one of them forever, Alice puts the book back on the shelf and leaves the library.

  Alice may now also use The Pen is Mightier ability a total of four times, rather than three. Make a note of this on Alice’s Adventure Sheet, add 1 to her Combat score, and then turn to 454.

  173

  At the south-east corner of the garden Alice finds herself at a turn in the gravel path surrounded by a number of marvellously trimmed topiary. She stares in wonder at the artistry and horticultural skill that has been demonstrated here. One of the hedges has been cut to resemble a charging Unicorn, another looks like a rearing Lion, and there is one shaped like a Wyvern, with its wings outstretched and great thorns for claws. And all of them are life-sized.

  As the child is marvelling at the mythological monsters, the Wyvern turns its head towards her, hissing, the Lion gives a guttural growl, and the Unicorn gives a shrill whinny. Alice’s first instinct is to run but the foliage creatures quickly surround her, blocking off any obvious means of escape.

  Her heart pounding in her chest, Alice senses that she doesn’t have long before the thorn-clawed creatures rip her to shreds and turn her into just so much compost to feed the roots of the hedges. What is she to do?

  Try talking to the topiary? Turn to 198.

  Try to vault over the living bushes? Turn to 266.

  Prepare to fight? Turn to 299.

  Try to think her way out of danger? Turn to 217.

  Use the Curiouser and Curiouser ability? Turn to 417.

  174

  “Well here’s an annoyance beyond all annoyances,” says Alice, stopping before a large pit that has been dug across the path before her. There is no way round it and the only way Alice will be able to cross it is if she jumps across.

  If you want Alice to attempt to jump across the pit, take an Agility test; if she passes she clears the pit and continues on her way (turn to 510), but if she fails she misses the edge and plunges into darkness (turn to 204).

  If you would rather Alice not attempt to jump across the pit, she will have to go back the way she came (turn to 90).

  175

  Unfortunately, the Scissors are ineffective against the stony shell of the Rock Lobster and so Alice will not gain the damage bonus she would normally receive from using the Scissors in battle. Better to save them than end up blunting them against the rock-hard carapace. Now turn to 195.

  176

  “You’ll chew ‘er bones, one by one?” challenges the right-hand head. “But what about me?”

  “You can suck the marrow out of ‘em after I’m done,” replies the left-hand head.

  “Contrariwise, I could chew ‘er bones and you could such the marrow out,” counters the first head to speak.

  “I know what you’re thinking,” says the head on the left; “you’re going to chew ‘er bones and suck out all the meaty juices!”

  “But it isn’t so, nohow!” argues its brother.

  With the two heads lost in their argument now, Alice creeps away from the cave and upon reaching the safety of the treeline, when she is sure she is out of sight of the Ogre, she sets off at a run.

  As she hears the sounds of blows being exchanged, as the battle of words becomes a battle of pugiling fists, Alice sees the battlements of a ruined fortress appear over the tops of the twisted trees away ahead of her.

  Turn to 512.

  177

  The effects of the contents of the bottle take affect much sooner than Alice had expected: before she has drunk half the bottle, she finds her head pressing against the ceiling, and she has to stoop to save her neck from being broken. “That’s quite enough,” she says. “I hope I shan’t grow any more – as it is, I can no longer fit through the door.”

  But Alice keeps on growing and growing, and very soon has to kneel down on the floor: in another minute there is not even room for this, and she is forced to lie down with one elbow against the door and the other arm curled round her head. Still she goes on growing, until, as a last resort, she puts one arm out of the window, and one foot up the chimney. “Now I can do no more, whatever happens.”

  Luckily for Alice, the little magic bottle has now had its full effect, and she grows no larger. (Add 4 to Alice’s Endurance score.) Still it is very uncomfortable, and there seems to be no way of her getting out of the room again as things stand, so what should Alice do?

  Drink the rest of the contents of

  the bottle in the hope that it might

  make her shrink again? Turn to 197.

  Eat a piece of Curious Cake

  (if she has such a thing)? Turn to 215.

  Drink a tot of Shrinking Potion

  (if she has some left)? Turn to 225.

  Wait and see if the effects of the

  potion wear off? Turn to 235.

  If you would rather Alice use her` Curiouser and Curiouser ability, turn to 186.

  178

  Flinging out a hand, Alice snatches a jar from the dresser shelf. Written on a label stuck to the glass in a spidery hand are the words ‘Orange Marmalade’, and the jar is full.

  Add the Jar of Marmalade to Alice’s Adventure Sheet and make a note that it contains enough for four portions. Alice may choose to eat a portion of the Marmalade at any time, apart from when she is in the middle of combat, and will replenish up to 4 Endurance points by doing so.

  Now turn to 12.

  179

  Alice runs from the house, tears streaming down her cheeks, so overwhelmed is she by what she has just witnessed. Behind her lies death and destruction, while before her lies a gloomy forest. And yet even its dark depths seem preferable to remaining at the White Rabbit’s House a moment longer.

  Turn to 397.

  180

  Every turning seems to bring Alice to yet another branching of the ways. Which way should she go now?

  North? Turn to 160.

  South? Turn to 210.

  West? Turn to 4.

  181

  The Slug recoils at Alice’s advance at first, but then acidic slime begins to bubble from its mouth and the child knows that this battle is not one that is going to be easily won.

  If you want Alice to use The Pen is Mightier ability in her moment of need, turn to 232. If she has a jar of Slug Pellets, now would seem like a good time to use them (turn to 211), otherwise she is going to have to fight the gigantic garden mollusc (turn to 201).

  182

  The Crocodile’s jaws crank open exposing teeth like iron spikes. Steeling herself accordingly, Alice prepares for the fight of her life. (Alice has the initiative.)

  CROCODILE COMBAT 7 ENDURANCE 8

  If Alice is victorious, turn to 240. If it is the Crocodile that is victorious, Alice’s adventure ends here.

  183

  The brutes both charge Alice at the same time, but this is their fatal mistake. The Six of Clubs trips, accidentally bringing his heavy cudgel down on the head of his companion. Knocked unconscious, the Seven of Clubs falls to the floor, dropping his own weapon hard on the head of the other.

  With both guards knocked out, Alice is free to come and go from the maze as she pleases. Turn to 213.

  184

  “Well whose idea was it to dig a pit across the path?” asks Alice, her brow crumpled in irritation. The only way across the obstacle is to jump across.

  If you want Alice to attempt to jump over the pit, take an Agility test; if she passes she clears the pit and continues on her way (turn to 90), but if she fails she misses the edge and plunges into darkness (turn to 204).

  If you would rather Alice not attempt to jump the pit, she will have to go back the way she has just come (turn to 510).

  185

  “Thank goodness!” exclaims the Caterpillar, the spiracles along its body opening and closing in breathless agitation. “I was starting to think I had lost you to a higher state of being, never to return.”

  “Return to where?” Alice asks, still feeling as if body and mind are not quite on
e.

  “Why here of course,” says the Caterpillar. “Wonderland! I only wish we were meeting again under better circumstances.”

  “So what circumstances are we meeting under?” says the child.

  “It’s the Queen of Hearts. She’s even madder than she was before.”

  “We’re all mad here,” Alice mutters under her breath.

  “Her lunacy has infected this reality, turning the dreamscape of Wonderland into a nightmarish realm of imagined horrors and manifest phobias. Do you see?” says the Caterpillar. “That is why the Queen must die.”

  Alice doesn’t understand half the words the Caterpillar has been using, but she understands that everyone she meets in Wonderland seems dead set on her doing away with the monarch of mayhem and madness.

  “Do you have any questions before you set off on your way again?”

  “Yes, I do,” says the child, after pondering the question for a moment. “If we’ve met before, and you were a caterpillar then, why aren’t you a butterfly now?”

  “Old Father William says I have a bad case of neoteny. Now, if you want one last piece of advice, steer clear of the Duchess’s madhouse. The Nightmare has already well and truly taken hold there. Make for the Palace instead and remember, keep moving forwards, never turn back. Now, be on your way.”