Disturbed Beauty

by Ashley Beale

  Clarissa is the last one in, and before she is even entirely through the door she follows the other girls by undressing.

  Someone hits my hip with their hand and hisses out, "Hurry up. You'll get us all in trouble."

  I look to her and pull my eyebrow up. "I have to get naked?"

  She nods her head quickly. "Now."

  "What if I don't?"

  She shakes her head in disgust and turns away from me. "Idiota." She calls me an idiot under her breath in Spanish, and I don't argue. I probably am being one, but I also don't care. At some point I have to stand my ground, not just for me but for everyone in here.

  Roman walks in and spots me instantly. He corks his brow, not pleased. "Juan," he calls out, still looking directly at me.

  One of the guards walks in, looking to Roman. "Si?"

  "Her." He points to me. "Room."

  With a curt nod, Juan walks over and grabs onto my elbow, pulling me with him. He continues to pull me until we're in another room, this one with a bed and several mirrors lining the wall. I can only imagine what is done in here.

  He gives a shove, causing me to fall down. I look up at him unamused.

  Letting out a cackle, Juan asks, "That hurt?" His English is unhabituated, obviously not using it all that often.

  "Ya think?" I snap back at him. Climbing to my feet, I run my hands over my rag of a dress, trying to ignore the suffering silence in the room. Juan continues to look at me, that gun strapped to his back. It's intimidating to say the least.

  "I kiss. Make better?" He chuckles again, finding far too much amusement in himself.

  I shake my head at him. "No. I'm fine." I don't dare rub at my elbow, which seems to have gotten a little rug burn from the fall.

  "Ah, mami, it'll feel good. Real good." He steps forward, grabbing my arm and tugging me forward. I swallow back my fear as I remind myself to breathe.

  Then reality hits me. Did Roman send us in here for this? I thought it was Roman coming in here, not... not this fucking creep.

  Nothing should surprise me the way it does though.

  His face comes towards mine but I crane my neck to the side, pulling away. "Just a taste," he whispers harshly.

  I continue to pull back, not listening to my instincts, telling me that he could kill me for disobeying.

  Someone clears their throat, and in that instant, the guard pulls his hand from my arm. We both face towards Roman. He doesn't look in the least bit impressed.

  "Juan." The way Roman calls his name could be deadly. Maybe he didn't send us in here after all.

  The guard exits the room, and when he does, I hear Roman tell him they'll speak about this later. He uses Spanish to tell him, so I pretend again not to notice what he says.

  I continue standing in the room, waiting for whatever punishment Roman has in store for me. When he walks into the room, he closes the door and attaches a latch on the door.

  "What are you going to do to me?" I ask, taking a step back.

  Roman runs his hands over his face. "What the fuck," he whispers. "Stop, Liv. Just stop."

  "I want to. I want to stop all of this."

  "Sit," he orders.

  With a giant huff of breath, I do as he tells me. I cross my arms and legs, trying to keep myself closed up.

  "Look at me Liv."

  I look up to Roman who now stands leaning against the wall across from me. He looks a little too relaxed considering the circumstances of everything. He continues to stare at me, no words leaving his mouth. I can see several emotions crossing over his face, as if he has some kind of inner debate.

  "Has Blaise or Javier touched you?"

  "No." I answer quickly and to the point. There is no need to go over what happened just an hour-ish ago with Javier.

  He looks pleased with that answer. "Thank fucking God," he says more to himself than me. "I'm sorry, Liv. I know you don't want to hear it, but I am. I'm here to prove it."

  I roll my eyes. "Yeah." I let him know I don't believe a single word he spews. How could I?

  In whispered tones, Roman continues. "Listen to me right now. You have to. Do you remember Fernando?"

  I nod my head in answer.

  "He is going to be here soon. He is taking you. Stay with him, and listen to everything he says. You need to."

  "Why?"

  Roman comes closer. "Lean back."

  "What?"

  "Lean back."

  Unsure of why he needs me to, I still listen. I lean back on the bed, using my elbows to keep me from laying all the way back. "Move back some." I listen, again, knowing it's got to be for some weird reason.

  Roman separates my legs and leans his body over mine, making us look as though we're about to make love or something. My body tenses, not wanting him to touch me, especially like that. His lips come to my ear as he covers my entire body with his.

  "I'm doing this so I can speak to you better. I can't have anyone hear me."

  I nod my head, closing my eyes. I can't concentrate with him over me this way. My heart skips, telling me something my head is objecting to. A part of me is enjoying this, the rest of me is completely repulsed.

  "Liv," he says too softly against my ear. The warm air of his breath tickles on the sensitive part of my skin, causing goosebumps. I hope he doesn't notice. He doesn't say anything about it if he does. "I'm saving you. Today. I'm getting you out of here. You were in here too long, so please, this time listen to me. Let me save you."

  "Clarissa," I say almost breathless. I know he knows what I mean, but I can't seem to form a sentence. Things have gotten far too weird for me.

  "You. Clarissa. I'm saving you both."

  "Opal and Mia. And Lizzie." I tell him.

  "What?" He pulls away from my ear. "Look at me."

  I open my eyes to see his looking down, penetrating me with questions and something else. He... he looks scared. For who? Me? Him? My friends?

  "Who are those girls?

  "Opal and Lizzie are my roommates. Mia is the youngest and sweetest girl I've seen in here. They need to be saved Roman. Please." I don't just beg him with my words but I make sure to show him the sincerity in my eyes. I need them to come with me if I'm getting out of here. It isn't just about Clarissa and myself anymore. It's about all these girls. None of them deserve to be in here. None.

  "Liv." He leans in closer, to the point our noses are almost touching. It gives me this feeling deep in my stomach, an unexplainable one I certainly don't want. Especially not right now, not here with Roman. Not like this. "I promise to do what I can. Right now, you're my first priority. You and Clarissa. This has taken a lot of hard work and planning. You need to follow along with what Fernando says, and do what I tell you. Do you understand?"

  I nod my head slowly.

  His hand reaches up and touches the side of my face. "You didn't deserve any of this. Not even for a minute. I'll spend forever making it up to you."

  "With all due respect, Roman. I would rather spend the rest of my life without you in it."

  His face backs up a little, and I can tell I cut him with my words. It was the truth though, at least, I think it is. My mind is fogged and confused. I can't make rational decisions right now. Apparently, I haven't been able to for quite some time.

  After a few seconds of silence, he nods. "I get it." He climbs from me and the bed and looks to the door. "This part is awkward."

  "What part?" I question, sitting up.

  "Just. Just don't hate me more than you already do."

  I stutter when I speak. "O-okay."

  He sits on the bed next to me but doesn't look at me. He stares down at the floor, a shameful expression on his face. His words are still whispered, but I hear him loud and clear. "You need to get naked. They're going to know something is up if you're not. Fernando has extra clothes for you, but until you're in his car and out of sight, you need to be undressed."

  "Oh." It takes me a second to gather the courage. I think the part that makes getting naked the wor
st is the fact that I haven't showered in so long. I smell, I have hairy armpits, and I just feel disgusting altogether. Then there is the fact that I'm going to be stared at, not just by people like Roman, but the guards, too. And Fernando. Possibly Javier or someone else if they show up.

  I pull the rags from my body, tossing the gown to the floor at our feet. Roman doesn't look at me, but I see him staring at my discarded clothing. "Can you mess your hair a little in the back?"

  "Um, I guess." It comes out more like a question rather than a statement.

  He chuckles ever so softly. "It'll make it look like something went on between us, more than a conversation."

  "Oh. Right." I reach up and mess with my greasy hair. I'm not sure how it looks, but I don't ask him to check it out.

  He hasn't looked at me once, and I'm both thankful of his respect on that, and I'm also concerned. He looks at the other girls, so why not me? Even with everything else going on, there is still that thought in the back of my head, asking if there is something wrong with me.

  He pulls a phone from his pocket and looks down at a blinking message. "Fernando is five minutes out."

  "Okay."

  "When we walk from this room, I'm going to have a guard in each room, then I'll send you out the door. Get in his truck without drawing attention to yourself."

  My body starts shaking as adrenaline starts to push through my body. "I won't get shot will I?"

  Roman reaches over and holds my hand, still not looking in my direction. He just holds it, for absolutely no reason. It's almost comforting. Almost.

  "No, Liv. No. You won't get shot. You won't get harmed. You're safe now."

  "And Clarissa?"

  "She's next."

  "How long?"

  "Tonight. She'll be saved tonight."

  He looks down at his phone again and I read the message from Fernando, telling him he is at the end of the driveway. Roman squeezes my hand. "I was young. My father tried to tell me this was all normal. I knew it wasn't though. I always knew it wasn't. I was weak though, I was unable to stand up to him."

  I don't understand entirely what he is saying, but I get an idea. Kind of what he was telling me earlier this week. He isn't so much talking to me anyways, but more to himself. I think he is bringing comfort to himself. Possibly in hopes to give me comfort as well.

  "I can't make things right, not completely," he continues. "There are too many that suffered. I can't ever forgive myself. But saving you, Liv. It's what will help me sleep at night."

  Roman looks at me finally, but it's not at my body. It's at me. Directly in my eyes, showing me that he means what he says, even if it’s a little confusing.

  I don't know what to say back, so I slowly nod my head, giving him a hint of a smile. I may not fully understand his ramblings, but I understand his sincerity. He may have been a monster, but I truly believe he is trying to change that. For that, and that reason alone, I know I'll be able to find some forgiveness for everything.

  After all, he did try to prevent me from becoming a part of this. He just didn't do a good job at saving Clarissa up until now.

  "I'll understand if you never speak to me again after this. But before you disappear from my life altogether, will you give me the chance to explain myself?"

  "If you can save my friends, yes, Roman. I'll listen."

  A small smile spreads. "You can be a little naive, Liv, but you have a heart of gold."

  I pinch my brows at his remark. It's not exactly endearing, but it's honest, that much is for sure. I haven't exactly been smart about things.

  With a deep breath, Roman lets go of my hand and stands. He looks at the door instead of at me. "Okay. It's time to go. Follow behind me, and look down. Don't look at anyone, don't speak to anyone."

  I walk over to the door without saying anything. Roman peaks over his shoulder to make sure I'm listening. "And Liv?"

  "Yeah?"

  "You're beautiful."

  Even with the sun shining down on me and temps well over the nineties, I still feel cold walking from the deserted home to the truck that Fernando idles inside of. Being naked and vulnerable outdoors, plus the fear and adrenaline rushing through me, my entire body shakes.

  I make it quickly, tugging to open the door. It squeals loudly, causing an echo, but I don't waste time to look around. I just want to get in.

  I hop in and squeal out when my bare skin touches down on the scolding hot leather seat.

  "Oh, sorry," Fernando quickly says. He tosses over some clothing but doesn't look in my direction. "Get those on quickly, and we can get out of here."

  It's just a pair of running shorts, a loose tee-shirt, and a sports bra, but it’s better than anything I've worn recently. It feels wonderful putting on, but I can't help to feel guilty over the thought of all those naked girls less than fifty feet from us in that home. Or the ones left behind, like Opal and Mia.

  I sit back and buckle my seatbelt. Fernando has some Spanish music on and he hums along to the music as we make our way anywhere but here. After nearly a half hour, he pulls into a parking lot of some small market. "Stay," he says. He looks over at me with a firm look, daring me to exit the vehicle.

  Nodding my head, I assure him, "I will."

  "Here." He passes me sunglasses and a hat. "Put those on. There are missing posters for you everywhere. I don't want someone to recognize you. If someone stops to talk to you, ignore them. Actually, just pretend to sleep while I'm inside. I'll make it quick."

  I take the sunglasses and hat from him, putting them on. Once I recline the seat back some, not that it allows me to go too far, I rest my head against the seat and faux sleep. He exits the truck, causing it to shake when he slams the door. I keep my eyes open and watch him go inside the store.

  Missing posters. There are posters of my face broadcasted all around, even in Mexico. My dad. God, my dad. He has to be so worried. First Taryn then me. At least she gave him some kind of warning she wouldn't return. I gave him false hope.

  Tears start to spill from my eyes. I can't contain them. Not with everything I put everyone through. I am a selfish person, but one thing I've learned is there is no rewind button. I just have to make this right the best way I can.

  It isn't ten minutes when Fernando returns, and I'm glad when he does. Even with the windows cranked down, sitting in the sun is causing me to sweat profusely. I can only imagine the odor that is protruding from my body.

  He places a small paper bag next to me but doesn't say a word until we're out of the parking lot. "Eat," he finally says.

  "I'm not hungry." It's mostly true. My body has already become accustomed to the little food I've had since being captive.

  Fernando doesn't care though. "Direct orders from Roman. Eat. You need to. You're going to have a rough couple of days, and you need food and drink. Eat as much as you can for now, if you can't finish it, fine. But you will finish it eventually."

  I roll my eyes but don't argue. I reach into the bag and pull out a bag of chips that look like Doritos, as well as a bottle of Gatorade, although they’re both labeled in Spanish words. I finish the drink faster than I expected to but the chips fill me up fast. I don't even finish half the bag, and it isn't very big. I look back into the bag and spot a chocolate bar. He didn't exactly buy me healthy food, but again, I don't argue. I reach in and grab that, finishing it pretty quickly. I know my stomach can't handle any more though, so I roll the bag back up and set it on the floor.

  We drive for quite some time. The truck doesn't have a working clock and he hasn't even looked at his cellphone once, so I couldn't begin to guess what time it is. All I know is that the sun is brighter than it was when he picked me up, so it's probably sometime around noon. It makes me wonder what time I was woken up at.

  He pulls into a hotel parking lot and goes straight into the back. There is a pool behind a chain fence and it looks so refreshing. I can picture myself diving in fully clothed, just to be able to get washed up and relaxed. I don't though, I re
main in the truck until Fernando starts to give me orders again.

  "Wait here. I'll be back in a minute."

  I nod my head but continue to stare at the pool. I swear the weather just keeps getting hotter and hotter. Even though summer has already passed, it feels like a mid-July day.

  Fernando opens my door instead of his. "Let's go." Once I exit the truck onto the burning hot tar, he reaches into the back and grabs a duffle bag, placing it over his shoulder. He slams the door and walks towards the hotel. There is an emergency exit that has a wooden block keeping it open. He opens it for me and tells me to go in, so I listen.

  We walk down a long hallway before he uses a key to open one of the hotel doors. Once we're both inside, he places the duffle bag down on the bed. "This bag is yours. Go shower, take a bath, whatever. I have some business to attend. Don't open the door for anyone, and don't leave the room for any reason. There are cameras in the hall and the owner will inform me if you walk out of this room. The windows are screwed closed, so don't even think about exiting through those."

  I give him a tight smile. "Got it."

  He waits until I have the bag and am in the bathroom with a closed door before he leaves. I discard the clothes I have on and turn on the shower. I plug the tub and get in, letting the shower rain down on me as I sit in a ball on the shower floor. It feels amazing cascading down on me, but something about the shower also brings on tears.

  Once the water is to the top of the tub, I turn off the faucet and lay here, relaxing, thinking. I have been too scared to think too much, so now that I have this alone time, all these thoughts and worries start rushing through me. Different scenarios and what ifs. Emotions I didn't realize I had, and worries I should have thought about before I turned myself over to Blaise.

  I sit here for so long that the water starts to turn cold. It feels good to cool off, but I know it's been a long time, and I need to wash up. There are only travel sized bottles in the shower, but they're all I need to get cleaned up.