Finding Her Rhythm (Backstage Pass Series)

by Wade, Dani

  Maybe this game wasn’t so bad after all.

  Standing, he let his chest brush against her as he rose, abrading the abused flesh with delicious sensation. This time her knees did give out, but he caught her. Her body felt like it was on stimulation overload. The roaring in her ears covered his next question. When she simply blinked at him, he asked again.

  “What was your best sexual experience before meeting me?”

  Immediately her mind filled with images of her first night in a BDSM club. The same club she’d met Bradley in. Some of the things she’d seen made her flinch, but some…some of them had her creaming where she stood. She’d been completely unprepared. Light bondage, spanking, toys…not that she wanted to be on display, but watching had hit all the good parts for her.

  The stranger she’d hooked up with in the back had set off some fireworks of his own. It had been incredible…and left her feeling incredibly dirty. Her biggest step outside of her religious upbringing had resulted in some heavy guilt, but she’d known then that she needed something a little more adventurous than the normal marriage and two-point-five kids her church encouraged young people to find.

  Apparently she took a little too long to answer—not that she wanted to share the mixed feelings that came with something Michael would have found infinitely tame.

  “Wow,” he said, “I thought this would be easy. We seem to be hitting all the sore spots today.”

  She barely resisted the drag across the pool before he lifted her onto the rock under the waterfall. A firm hand secured her face-down, perpendicular to the falls so the water washed down against her side.

  Mortification burned as she realized her ass was now bare to the air. But she didn’t have long to think about it as his palm made sharp contact with her backside. Was he really spanking her? Sure enough, the wet slap of water and sting of flesh meeting flesh had her body opening in invitation. She couldn’t decide whether to squirm away or raise her rump.

  Her hands curled against the rock under her shoulders as if to push herself up, but in the end she simply dug in and moaned. Pathetic. But necessary. Finally the smacks slowed, transforming into rubbing strokes, hot against her throbbing skin. She took several deep breaths, struggling to orient herself.

  Looking up at him over her shoulder, she returned to the question. “There was nothing really good before you,” she said, utterly exposed, utterly open.

  His smile was only the beginning of her reward. With a firm touch he pulled one of her knees toward him, then inched his fingertips along the inside of her thigh until he met her swollen lips. He went straight for the hidden nub, coaxing it from beneath its hood, then milking it with brazen intent. She went from panting to gasping in seconds, gasping to moaning in minutes. Less than five and she was screaming out her release, vaguely aware of the sound as it echoed around them in the cavernous space.

  “Now that’s what I like to hear,” Michael said, those piercing eyes sensuously sadistic.

  He deftly maneuvered her into his arms. She rested secure, letting the force of the flowing water push her against him. Despite the massive erection trapped between them, he didn’t rush but let her relax and recover in his hold. Finally he leaned down to brush his mouth against her ear. “One last question: what was your last sexual encounter?”

  Even before a thought could form her body stiffened, pulling out of the sensual haze he’d created as fear poured in. Her heart raced, quickly outdistancing her control. It all came rushing back: the bruising hold she thought she’d never break free of, the punishing kiss that split her lip, the force of Bradley’s thigh grinding between her legs. She whimpered. It hadn’t been sexual for her, but it had been more than sexual for him.

  “Taylor!”

  The firm shake jerked her out of her nightmare, bringing back her awareness of the water, the warm air, and the man standing next to her.

  “It’s okay, Taylor. I’m right here,” Michael was saying.

  She watched his lips move, grounding herself in the moment. A deep breath slowed the pounding in her chest. She blinked to force back tears. Fear had no place in her time with Michael.

  He’d never given her a reason to be afraid.

  He lifted her with ease, settling her once more on the smooth outcropping of rock. For once she couldn’t bring herself to care about sitting nude in front of a rock star built like a god come to life. He held her gaze with nothing more than his authority, not forcing her into anything she didn’t want. “Taylor, you know I would never hurt you, right?”

  She nodded.

  “I want you to trust me to make the pain go away.”

  She wanted that more than anything. She wanted him. She wanted to be free.

  Leaning in, he guided her back until she lay flat on the rock, her arms above her head. Half her body lay inside the little cave created by the rocks and the fall of water. Running his hands along her arms, Michael guided her hands up until they touched some kind of bar. He curled her fingers around it. “Hold on tight.”

  No insistence this time. No pressure, but it didn’t matter. She wanted this.

  He pulled back and she gasped. Without his body guarding hers, the waterfall splashed down in a gentle line directly across her breasts. The trickling stream tantalized the quivering flesh and beat against her sensitive nipples in a constant flow of sensation.

  “Don’t move,” she heard him say.

  Why would she want to?

  Then his hands guided her knees up, placing her feet directly on the edge of the rock, spreading her wide. She wanted to care but couldn’t break through the growing haze of her need. The water afforded her a semblance of privacy, yet she could see Michael’s wavering image on the other side. She could feel the sensation of him pressing inside of her, but wasn’t so exposed she wanted to cringe.

  Perfect, just like all the other times.

  Soon she was lost to the push and pull of his body inside hers, the press of his skillful fingertips against her clit, and the overwhelming rush of her release. This time it was Michael’s groan echoing off the walls. Her body sagged, her fingers slipping free of the bar so she could reach through the water and pull him to her.

  Lying there, together in their own private space, she found the courage to tell herself the truth.

  She’d fallen in love with a rock star.

  Chapter Twelve

  How could I love someone who would cheat on me with my own brother?

  Michael stared at the photos spread out before him, oddly aware of the silence permeating the room. It was as if Becca was afraid to even breathe. Then another sound, one he didn’t realize burst from his throat. A growl, animalistic and possessive, a warning issued to all within earshot.

  “I’m sorry, Michael,” Becca murmured. “I knew I couldn’t keep this to myself.”

  “Where did they come from?”

  “Anonymous mail. Jane Doe name and fake rural-route return address. I just couldn’t believe—” A choked sound of distress filled the room.

  Neither can I. He wouldn’t have believed the woman he’d come to know over the last week so much as looked at anyone but him. But the pictures showed it all. Daniel, practically naked on the bed. Taylor leaning over him. Taylor helping Daniel get dressed. Daniel pinning Taylor against her car in the dark, kissing her neck. A beast Michael didn’t know was living inside of him roared.

  This betrayal was far deeper than Claudie’s, more embarrassing than the hundreds of men she must have slept with. At least his brother had never looked twice at Claudie. Michael had never before been betrayed by his flesh and blood. And Michael never had to face losing a woman he truly loved.

  But now he did.

  And so did his kids.

  That thought stirred more anger and he cultivated it with the skill of a master. Anger was a weapon to be used, whereas pain was simply an emotion he felt. He could have sent Taylor quietly away if he’d been the only one involved, but she’d gone too far when she’d taught his kids to love
her, then got caught fuckin’ his brother.

  It was on.

  Dimly he heard Becca say something, then another voice. “See you later, Becca.”

  “Bye.”

  “Hmmm…” Michael heard Taylor’s voice behind him. “She was acting odd. Is something wrong?”

  He turned to find her looking so sexy, so right. Fitted yoga pants that hugged her curves, and a pale pink tank top that set off her subtle tan. How could betrayal look so fresh and innocent?

  “Was it all a game for you, Taylor? Is that it?”

  She stopped, her bare toes peeking out from under the hem of her pants. “What are you talking about?”

  He kept his voice low, afraid if he let loose, his volatile temper would get the best of him. It took a lot to push Michael to the edge, but this time he’d left the edge about a mile back. “Did you think playing the shy, scared card would be different enough to keep me interested? Tempt me to teach you some wild and crazy shit?”

  For a moment she seemed to shrink in on herself, her arms wrapping tightly around her ribs. In his mind she only managed to emphasize the assets beneath her top, but he would not be distracted. Then she straightened and met him head-on. “I don’t know what’s going on here, Michael, but you will not talk to me like I’m some kind of tramp. You were the one who pursued me, remember?”

  “At least that’s what you wanted me to think.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “These.” He scooped up a handful of the pictures from his desk and tossed them at her feet. Right on top was one showcasing Daniel’s backside, her hand inches away where it rested in the middle of his spine.

  Bending, Taylor picked up one, then another, the angle of her head hiding her facial expression from him. He fully expected her to deny it. That’s what women did. Deny anything happened with wide, innocent eyes and expect you to believe them. Take them back to bed.

  Until it happened again. And again.

  Not this time. “You want to tell me what these are all about?”

  She glanced up, but her eyes weren’t innocent. She knew what they were; knowledge was written all over her face. “Michael…”

  He stalked closer until he towered over her, suddenly aware that his crotch was right in line with that voluptuous mouth. Why he would think of that in this moment he didn’t know, but the shot of arousal only made him angrier. “What? No explanations? Not even a convenient lie?”

  Her gaze trailed away, and she stood. “Have you talked to Daniel about this?”

  “No. But I will.” With my fists.

  She didn’t move. Didn’t speak. Simply stared over his right shoulder like she’d already shut him out completely. He remembered another woman, other silences, other secrets.

  He grasped her upper arms to pull her against him. “Tell me the truth, Taylor.”

  She shook her head, not lifting her gaze above his collarbone. Her entire body shut down before his eyes. The very light that she had always exhibited disappearing behind a blank façade. “I can’t.”

  “I suppose I should be grateful that you aren’t lying to me, huh? Sorry, babe. I don’t work that way.”

  “Michael, please. Just talk to Daniel—”

  “Don’t say his name,” he yelled with a little shake. “Don’t say it.”

  Without thought his mouth pressed to hers without permission. His hands took their rightful place in her hair, holding her captive for his kiss. She resisted for long moments, stiff and still; then those sweet lips parted for him. The last time, he’d explored. This time, he conquered.

  He told himself he didn’t care when she refused to soften, but satisfaction came long moments later when she moaned under his lips. They strained together, bodies aching for the same connection as their mouths. But even in this, he couldn’t find the peace that usually flowed with one touch. It was simply a reminder of how much he had to lose.

  Breaking away, he placed sucking kisses from the base of her neck up, resting in the hollow beneath the sweet curve of her ear. His hands tightened; then he forced the words out. “What are you hoping for, Taylor? To have both of us together? Why don’t I call Daniel right now? I’m sure he’d be more than accommodating.”

  Instead of more moans, Taylor froze in his grasp. For the very first time, her hands found his and she pushed him away, releasing herself from his hold. Still her eyes didn’t meet his. She simply turned and walked out the door.

  * * *

  “Dude, what’s with the 911 text, then not answering your phone? Are the kids okay?”

  It took a moment for Michael to unhinge his jaw before he could respond. “The kids are fine.”

  “That what the hell is going on? You scared me.”

  Daniel just kept talking while Michael felt the anger build. He knew it would get out somehow, but he still tried to lock it down, keeping his back to his brother while he attempted to breathe deep. After all, they were family. He’d lost enough for one day. He couldn’t lose Daniel too.

  “What’s going on? Is it Taylor? Or Becca? It’s her, isn’t it? Some new crisis. That woman drives me crazy.” A small silence fell; then Daniel’s voice exploded into the room. “What the hell are these?”

  Just like that, a switch flipped. Michael turned, gunning his brother down and letting his fist fly. One minute Daniel stood staring at Michael’s desk. The next he didn’t know what hit him.

  The sound of Michael’s fist connecting with Daniel’s jaw was satisfying, but not as much as seeing Daniel laid out flat on his ass. “I told you to leave my nanny alone.”

  Daniel worked his jaw for a minute. Looking a little stunned, he studied Michael from the floor. “Bro,” he finally said, “you seriously need to get laid.”

  “I’d prefer it not to be with the same woman as you. She was mine.”

  “What?”

  “Oh, she denied it. Isn’t that what they all do?”

  “Nooo.” Daniel drew out the word as he struggled to his feet and looked down at the desk once more. “Only the skanky types. I don’t think Taylor qualifies.”

  “So you’re telling me these are a lie? Photoshopped?”

  Michael couldn’t bring himself to look at the photos again. Instead he studied his brother. Daniel frowned over the pics, his hand holding his jaw steady. I hope that hurts like hell.

  Finally Michael couldn’t stand the silence anymore. “Why would you do this, Daniel? You knew I wanted her. Couldn’t you, just once, keep your pecker in your pants—”

  This time it was Daniel turning on him with anger brightening his blue eyes. “You know, it would be nice if, for once in my life, someone gave me the benefit of the doubt.”

  That was the last thing Michael expected. Excuses, rationalizations maybe. Definitely not pissy attitude. “What are you talking about? It’s right there in the pictures.”

  “What is? Me and Taylor having full-on sex? ‘Cause I’m not seeing it, dude. She’s nowhere near naked.” His accusing gaze bored into Michael’s brain. “Or is it Taylor helping me out when I really needed someone? Someone who wouldn’t condemn me. Wouldn’t judge me. Or maybe I just see it that way because I know the truth.”

  Shit. Michael’s stomach sank to the ground. “What happened?”

  “Why do you want to know now?”

  “Stop—”

  “Oh, I’m sure you do. The question is, do I really want to give you and Becca more ammunition for your ‘bad-boy rocker who can’t behave himself’ rationale?”

  This was worse than he’d thought. Daniel was the easygoing, fun-loving brother. It had never occurred to Michael that he thought they treated him like a screwup. “I’m sorry, Daniel. Please tell me. Let me help.”

  His brother sighed, then gestured at the pictures. “Those were taken last week. Taylor helped me out of a jam.”

  “What kind of jam?”

  Daniel shot him a baleful look, then dropped his lean body onto the sofa. “Long story short? I got wasted. The hotel manager—y
ou know Max—was worried. He called the emergency line for someone to quickly and quietly remove me from the premises.”

  Michael had a feeling there was more to the story than that, but he let it go. For now. “Why didn’t she just tell me? It’s not like I didn’t her ask for the truth.”

  Or had he? Did he really remember half of the accusations he’d spewed while she just stood there and took it? No, not really. More like raising complete shields to protect herself from his accusations. The last few minutes proved exactly why Daniel hadn’t spilled his guts. Would Taylor have done it either…especially after he’d offered to screw her with his brother?

  “I asked her not to—and for once found a woman who could keep her word.”

  Even while Michael had tried his best to humiliate her. She hadn’t defended herself because it would have meant giving away Daniel’s secret. Instead she’d urged him to talk to his brother first. “Oh man,” he groaned, rubbing his face over his hands. “I. Am. So. Fucked.”

  “You bet you are, buddy.”

  First things first. He had to make this right with his brother. He crossed to the sitting area and dropped into the chair opposite Daniel. They’d been friends all their lives, watching each other’s backs through all kinds of crazy shit. Daniel had been wild as a buck until four, maybe five years ago. It had been a crazy time with Claudie dying and trying to get the kids adjusted. Michael wasn’t sure what toned his brother down, but he still got into the occasional bar fight or love triangle that made the papers.

  Michael should have paid more attention to his brother.

  “I’m sorry, Daniel. I never wanted you to feel like you had to hide things from me. That you couldn’t ask for help.”

  Daniel shrugged. “The bane of the professional screwup.”

  “You aren’t a screwup. You just like living on the wild side. Always have.”