by Croix, J. H.
He couldn’t let his mind go there now, so he focused on Hallie. She twirled a lock of hair around her finger and eyed him thoughtfully. She appeared to sense he didn’t want to talk further about his sleeping, or anything to do with why he hadn’t been in a relationship in so long. Her eyes took on a gleam. “So, do I get to meet this mysterious woman?”
Darren grinned. “As if I could avoid it.”
Hallie squealed again and stood quickly. “Okay, what do you have to eat? I’m ready to hear all about her. Starting with her name.”
Chapter 13
“No, we need to repaint the whole gallery!” Ethan declared.
Jack rolled his eyes. “And who will be doing all this painting?”
Ethan shrugged and took a sip of wine. “I’m sure Risa can find someone to do it, right dear?”
Risa arched a brow and glanced between them. “I’m sure I can. The question is do you want to spend that much money on painting? As it is, the gallery has basic bland cream-colored walls. Nothing to distract from the artwork we put in there. I’ll let you two sort this one out.”
They were at dinner in Anchorage, deep into planning for the gallery in Diamond Creek. Ethan and Jack enjoyed bantering over business decisions such as this. When she’d first worked for them, she wanted to problem solve these kinds of decisions. But then she realized they enjoyed tussling over details, so she left them to their own devices.
Jack grinned at her and turned to Ethan. “Precisely my point. There’s no reason to waste the money on painting. Not to mention it also means we’d have to clear everything out for the painters. Too much work.”
Ethan rolled his eyes and didn’t bother holding back his return grin. With an elegant shrug of his suited shoulders, he turned to her. “You just had to go and support him.”
Risa giggled. “You know that’s not what I meant. I pointed out the situation and nothing more. Moving on, do you have a firm date in mind yet for the opening?”
They enthusiastically moved on to concrete planning details. The last few weeks had flown by. Ethan and Jack had closed on the sale of the gallery in Diamond Creek. Meanwhile, she’d been working with them on selecting and ordering artwork for the gallery. She’d been back and forth to Diamond Creek almost every week, spending most nights with Darren when she was there. Her schedule was such a whirlwind she managed to keep her mind in a blissful bubble where she didn’t think too much about the depth of feelings he elicited. Once in a while, reality nudged her and her fear that she was letting him mean too much would start to overwhelm her. With so much to do, she’d force her mind away and ignore her worries.
In the midst of all this, she was still packing up her apartment box by box without a firm plan of where she’d be staying in Diamond Creek. Trey and Emma had offered to let her stay with them indefinitely. She likely would start there, but she didn’t want to make that more than a very temporary situation. Back when Trey’s first wife had died, Risa had moved in to help out with Stuart for a while. But now that Trey was settled again, she wanted them to be the family they were without her being smack in the middle day in and day out. Not to mention that staying with them might bring up a few questions about Darren—questions she wasn’t quite ready to face.
Because you have every intention of spending plenty of time with him. And what exactly does that mean? It means I can’t keep my hands off of him and he’s the best thing that ever happened to me. Oh see, that right there, that’s why you need to wake up and pay attention. You can’t pretend he’s nothing more than a casual fling for much longer. Because you know damn well he’s not. You’re already in too deep, and he’s way too good for you.
Risa’s internal back and forth was interrupted when Ethan said her name.
“What?” she asked.
He glanced to Jack with a grin. “She’s daydreaming about Darren again.”
Her face felt hot. “I am not!” She internally justified this with the argument that while she’d been thinking about Darren, it wasn’t a daydream. Daydreaming was what she’d been doing earlier while on hold with one of their suppliers. To be specific, she’d been remembering what it felt like when Darren slid his palms up her thighs, the calloused skin sending shivers through her body, just before his thumbs reached the juncture of her thighs and he caressed the wet heat that was ever-present when he was near. She flushed deeper when Jack cleared his throat.
Her eyes flew up and met Jack’s warm, kind blue gaze. He shrugged and shook his head. Ethan chuckled before his eyes sobered.
“I was teasing, you know,” he said softly.
“I know.”
Ethan gave her a considering look. “All joking aside, how are things with Darren? Don’t even bother trying to pretend you’re not seeing him.”
Risa sighed and took a quick gulp of wine for fortitude. “I won’t do that. You know I tell you two just about everything. Things are…way too good, and I’m not sure what any of it means. I didn’t want this to be serious, and I don’t think it is. But I don’t know what to do, or where things are going.”
Jack pursed his lips. “Well, what’s he saying?”
“We don’t exactly talk much.” The blush that had finally faded returned with a vengeance.
Ethan and Jack both grinned.
“So that’s how it is then,” Ethan commented before turning to Jack. “You didn’t get a chance to meet Darren, but I told you my gut said he was a good one for our girl.”
Risa crossed and uncrossed her legs. She knew Ethan to have remarkably accurate assessments of people, so if he had a good feeling about Darren, it meant a lot to her. She’d brushed off his dismissal of Brad when she’d first started dating Brad. He’d turned out to be spot on as he’d described Brad as shallow, superficial, and interested only in what served his purposes. At the time, she’d been offended when now she wished she’d had enough sense to listen. What frightened her about his gut when it came to Darren was she didn’t know if she could live up to the kind of woman Darren deserved. Not to mention that Darren seemed to carry some of his own baggage, namely whatever lay behind his occasional nightmares. She wished she knew what was behind them…and wished he would confide in her.
She glanced to Ethan. “So you think he’s a good one then?”
“I already told you that. You’re fishing, but I’ll bite. I like Darren. He’s quiet, but he’s steady and you need that. He also clearly adores you though he tries to play it cool. And then there’s the fact that he’s pure eye candy, all muscly, smoldering and unassuming.” Ethan caught Jack’s eye. “If I wasn’t so in love with you, I might be tempted.”
Jack threw back his head in a laugh, and Risa kicked Ethan under the table. “He’s not even your type! You said he was too manly for you.”
Ethan shrugged. “In my younger days, I was known to push out of my comfort zone. That’s what you need to do. Since I’ve known you, your comfort zone is casual, but not because you want it that way. Because you don’t dare hope for something more,” he said, his eyes sobering abruptly.
Risa felt his words ping in her center. She swallowed and looked away, tears pricking in her eyes. As usual, Ethan didn’t shy away from anything uncomfortable. Her skin prickled with the discomfort of how close he hit home with his comment. That’s how she kept her heart safe—not hoping for something more. With Darren, she was desperate for more and could hardly stand to think about it. When she gathered herself and turned back, Ethan lifted his wineglass. “You know I only want you to get what you deserve, right?”
She cleared her throat, his warm smile easing her heart. “I know,” she replied softly.
***
Risa crested the top of the hill that dipped down to Diamond Creek. She was on her way to Darren’s house. She’d driven down from Anchorage after work this evening, and it was getting late. Once she came over the hill, Kachemak Bay unfurled in the view, the water rippling in the setting sun. Shafts of pink and dusty gold fell across the mounta
ins. The lights at Otter Cove Harbor came on as she drove toward town, the harbor lighting up like a postcard. She opened her windows and let the ocean air swirl through the car, inhaling deeply. The crisp, salty scent invigorated her.
Moments later, she pulled up at Darren’s house. As she closed her car door, she realized he’d likely get a chuckle out of the fact that she was driving yet another car. Her first replacement after her accident had bit the dust when her engine overheated. The mechanic had kindly informed her he could fix it, but the cost was steeper than she preferred. Now she had another used car, an allegedly reliable Toyota. With her luck lately, it would be the opposite of reliable, but one could hope. She slung her bag over her shoulder and strode to the door. With a sharp knock, she opened it and walked in to find a woman who looked to be roughly her own age standing at the kitchen counter. The woman was stirring something in a bowl and turned away to wipe her hands on a towel. She didn’t seem to have noticed Risa.
“Hey Darren, when did you say Risa was getting here?” the woman asked, appearing to assume Risa was Darren.
Risa cleared her throat. “Risa’s here,” she offered.
The woman whirled around, dishtowel in hand. She promptly flung it on the counter and squealed. “Oh my God! You’re here!” She raced over and hugged Risa before stepping back with a wide smile on her face. She was close to Risa in height with a slight build, soft brown hair tied in a knot with a pen stuck through it, and warm hazel eyes. Risa was disoriented to find a beautiful young woman clearly at home in Darren’s house. Before she could formulate a thought beyond her confusion and a flash of fear that she’d been completely wrong about Darren and he was seeing someone else, the woman spoke.
“I’m Hallie, Darren’s sister. I’m soooo happy to meet you.”
Risa’s brain clicked. Of course, Darren had mentioned the other night on the phone his sister was in town, but he didn’t know how long she’d be here. She was clearly still here.
“Oh hi! Darren mentioned you were visiting. It’s nice to meet you,” Risa replied, her mind whirring. Her valiant efforts to keep Darren in a casual corner in her brain bumped against what her heart wanted—to let go and see what kind of chance they might have. Meeting his sister made things seem…not so casual. She alternately wanted to make her excuses and leave, or pick Hallie’s brain for everything she knew about Darren, so Risa could learn what made him tick.
Hallie beamed and reached over to take Risa’s bag. “Here, let me get that.” She set it on the couch and tucked her hand into Risa’s elbow. “Come sit with me while I finish up. I was making dinner for you and Darren. I had this whole sneaky plan that I’d have it ready before you got here, but he wasn’t sure about the timing.”
Bemused with Hallie’s enthusiasm, Risa gamely followed her to the kitchen counter, sliding onto one of the stools beside it. “Well, when he asked what time I’d be here, I didn’t really know, so there was no way he’d know. You’re making us dinner?”
Hallie grinned, her hazel eyes tilting up when she did. “If you haven’t noticed, Darren’s not exactly much of a food guy. He loves good food, but he can never be bothered to shop well or take time to cook. When I found out about you, I wanted to surprise you for him. But it’s okay you’re earlier than I thought. We can chat before Darren gets here. So tell me everything.”
Risa couldn’t help but return Hallie’s grin. Hallie was a bundle of warmth, sweetness and spunk. “What’s everything?”
Hallie’s grin didn’t fade, but her eyes sobered slightly. “Okay, here’s the thing: Darren’s my one and only big brother, and I love him to pieces. He’s there for me whenever I need him, and he’s a great guy. But he hardly ever dates and I would love for him to find someone. I mean, he’s a catch! Right?”
Risa’s heart thumped…hard. Darren was the kind of man a woman wanted, the catch Hallie described. She wanted to be the one who managed to hold onto him, and she just didn’t know if he felt the same way about her. To add to his list of virtues, he clearly had a great relationship with his sister. She forced herself to focus on Hallie and nodded.
At Risa’s nod, Hallie’s grin widened before she continued. “So when he mentioned you, I got so excited. You might think I’m meddling, but I don’t mean to.” When Risa raised her brows, Hallie threw her hands up. “I guess I am! I just want to make sure you know how awesome my brother is.”
Risa’s heart clenched. She knew quite well how awesome Darren was, and that all the good things about him extended far beyond how amazing he was in bed. She looked over at Hallie’s earnest face. “You don’t need to do any convincing. I’ve already figured out how awesome Darren is,” she said with a soft smile. “So what are we having for dinner?”
Hallie beamed again. “I made a salmon casserole that’s already in the oven and just finished stirring the salad dressing I made to go with the salad.”
“You made the dressing?”
“Yup. A raspberry vinaigrette. I love to cook, so when Darren told me you’d be here, I was all over it. I’m headed out to have dinner with a friend who moved down here a few years ago. We’re going to have a girls’ night, so you and Darren have the place to yourselves.”
“Oh, you don’t have to steer clear on my account.” Risa was genuinely enjoying Hallie’s company, though it was hard to think about anything other than having Darren all to herself. The back and forth between Anchorage and Diamond Creek only gave her glimpses of Darren, so she was constantly hungering for more time with him.
Hallie shook her head. “Yes I do. I don’t want to prevent any opportunities for romance. Having one’s sister around isn’t exactly romantic,” she said wryly. She quickly tugged a funnel out of a drawer and proceeded to carefully pour the salad dressing into a small glass bottle.
Risa had so many questions she wanted to ask, but wasn’t certain it was okay. Hallie glanced up and caught her expression. “Ask me anything.”
A laugh bubbled up. “Anything?”
Hallie shrugged. “I’ll tell you what I can. It’s obvious to me Darren likes you…a lot.”
Risa’s heart jumped, and a flush warmed her. Much as she was trying to convince herself they were just having a fling—a smoking hot fling—the feeling between them teetered on the edge of something much bigger than she’d ever contemplated. With Hallie’s openness, she decided to dive in.
“Did you know he has nightmares sometimes?”
Hallie’s gaze sobered. She nodded and rinsed the funnel before putting it in the dishwasher. She leaned her hips against the counter and tilted her head. “So he still has nightmares then?”
“Not often, but enough that I wondered about it.”
Hallie took a deep breath and eyed Risa for a long moment. “Did he tell you anything about why he left Seattle?”
“He mentioned he had enough of the city cop thing, but that’s about it.”
Hallie nodded slowly. “That’s one way to put it. I wish Darren would tell you what happened, but I’m not so sure he will. He never asked me to keep it a secret, so I don’t mind telling you. Do me a favor and give him a little time on this one, okay?”
Risa’s curiosity lunged, but she nodded. Watching him wake scared and rattled in the night tugged at her. Any opportunity to understand him better was too tempting to turn down.
“Darren was the first on the scene at a bad accident on the interstate. He was in the middle of trying to get a little boy out of one of the cars when it exploded. Everyone in the car died, including the little boy. They said afterwards that the little boy’s parents died of injuries from the impact before the car went up in flames, but the little boy was alive when Darren got there. He was in his car seat and alert according to the witnesses. Darren got lucky and came away with some cuts on his face and temporary lung injury due to the massive heat from the smoke. To this day, I know he feels guilty, like he somehow should have moved faster. But no one else was there to help yet, and everyone said he did all he co
uld to get that little boy out. He doesn’t like to talk about it. They had him see a therapist afterwards to help him with what he was going through. He had a lot of trouble sleeping at first. For weeks, I don’t know if he slept more than a few hours a night. After he moved here, he told me he finally got a better handle on his sleep. But he’s hardly dated since the accident.”
Risa’s throat tightened. Her heart ached for Darren. She knew something like that would haunt him. He was so good-hearted and always wanted to help. Though it was obvious there was nothing he could have done differently, she knew the accident would linger for him. She looked over at Hallie whose eyes watched her carefully.
“That’s terrible,” Risa said softly. “Now I understand why he still has nightmares sometimes. He acts like they’re nothing. I wish…” She wished she could make it better. All he could do was learn to live with it and try to somehow believe there was nothing else he could have done. She thought about how he handled the situation with Eric after he bumped into her car that afternoon. He was kind and funny, and he made sure Eric was held accountable without it being anything more than it needed to be. She thought about the times they went to dinner in town, and he fielded frequent inquiries from people, clearly well-liked and respected by most everyone in town. She remembered that Trey thought the world of him for how he helped Emma with her abusive ex. The man who was all of those things to so many people would be heartbroken over a little boy dying and thinking he could have done something to prevent it. That was part of the problem—he was so competent in so many ways, it would be hard for him to convince himself he couldn’t have done more, no matter what the facts demonstrated. She was relieved to understand what lay behind his nightmares, but it hurt a little that he couldn’t confide in her.
Risa met Hallie’s gaze again. “Thank you for explaining. I’m pretty sure I’d have gotten far fewer details from him. I won’t bring it up unless he does, but I can’t tell you how much it means to understand. He’s only had a few nightmares, but the look on his face when he wakes up is so sad.”