by Croix, J. H.
Hallie nodded. “I know. I stayed with him for a few days when he got out of the hospital.”
They sat quietly for a few moments. Risa glanced out the windows. The sun had almost fallen behind the mountains with a half-moon rising through the dusky sky. The moon cast a soft beam of light across the water, the waves glittering in its path. A stellar jay flew past the windows and landed on the deck railing, barely visible in the fading light. It called sharply, a raven answering in the distance. She thought about what Hallie told her and what it illuminated about Darren. If she’d wondered if she was succeeding at keeping her feelings light, she knew with certainty she’d failed completely. She wanted to soothe the ache she knew he held in his heart over this. That’s not exactly casual. I know…and I don’t care.
Risa turned back to Hallie. “I’m not sure what to say now.”
Hallie shrugged. “That was pretty heavy. But I’m glad I told you because now I know Darren matters to you,” she said with a sly grin.
Risa threw her head back in a laugh. “Am I that obvious?”
Hallie nodded vigorously before her gaze sobered again. “Seriously, I’d rather you know than have Darren tell you only half the story. You need to know the whole picture. Now let’s move on to lighter matters. Darren said you manage an art gallery in Anchorage and that you’re helping get one started here.”
They moved on to discussing Risa’s work, and when Darren arrived later, Risa’s breath caught when he walked in. He looked just delicious in his uniform. His velvety brown eyes caressed her when he approached the kitchen counter.
“So I see Hallie let you in,” he said with a grin.
Before Risa could reply, Hallie chimed in. “Of course I did! And dinner’s ready.”
Darren’s tugged Hallie close for a quick hug. “Thanks Hallie.” He caught Risa’s eyes. “She insisted on this dinner thing. She seems to think I don’t do the best job around the kitchen,” he said with an abashed shrug.
Hallie swatted him with the kitchen towel. “You’re terrible at taking care of yourself.” She wrinkled her nose and grinned at him as she stepped away, hanging the kitchen towel on the oven handle. “I have no shame. I freely told Risa I wanted you two to have a nice dinner, and that I was all about doing my best to make sure she realized how awesome you are.”
Darren shook his head and flushed slightly. Risa felt a little thrill to know that perhaps he wanted to impress her. Hallie strode to the door and grabbed her purse and a jacket off the coat rack by the door. “I’m off for the night. I’ll see you two tomorrow.”
“Hallie, no one’s pushing you out all night,” Darren called out.
Hallie paused with her hand on the doorknob. “Oh, I know. But you two need the place to yourself.” At that, she swung the door open and left. A second later, the door opened again and Hallie’s smiling face came around the corner. “I’m borrowing your car, okay?”
Darren chuckled. “I figured. Keys are in it.”
Hallie blew a kiss and was gone in a whirl.
Chapter 14
Risa woke in the dark. Darren had cried out in his sleep again. She rolled to her side. Her eyes gradually adjusted to the dark, and she could see his chest rise and fall rapidly. She reached a hand over, carefully touching his shoulder. Suddenly, his whole body jerked and his eyes flew open on a loud breath. He lay completely still for a long moment before slowly turning his head toward her. She kept her hand still on his shoulder, trying to soothe him without words. Now that she knew what lay behind the dreams, it viscerally pained her to see him like this. His skin was damp under her touch. He tended to wake up covered in sweat when this happened. The room was quiet save for his ragged breathing, which gradually slowed. Moonlight fell in a shaft through the skylight above the bed.
Darren cleared his throat. “Mind if I take a shower?” he asked, his voice gravelly.
She shook her head. Though he’d only had these nightmares a few times when she was with him, she’d come to know he showered afterward and figured it helped somehow. She knew if she were him, she’d feel better after a shower, if anything, to wash the heat of the dream away. A tiny corner of her heart wished he’d talk to her about how he felt, wished he would let her help him feel better.
He rolled off the bed and strode to the bathroom adjacent to his bedroom. She rested against the pillows and watched the stars above while she waited. When he returned moments later, he climbed in bed and lay on his back. He’d left the bathroom light on and soft light spilled in an angle across the bed. She curled on her side and placed her hand on his chest. He tensed. His heart thudded against her palm. She hadn’t meant it to, but desire slid through her, curling like smoke around them. She leaned on her elbow and looked at him. His features were sharp in the darkened room. The lines of his strong jaw and sensual lips a temptation. There was just enough light for her to see the scar on the side of his face, the one she’d wondered about until Hallie told her about it last night. It ran in a faded, jagged path from his upper cheekbone and disappeared into his hairline above his ear. She traced it softly with the tip of her finger. Her pulse raced, butterflies clustered in her belly. Though she wasn’t certain what he thought, his heart pounding under her palm told her he felt something. She shifted and twined her leg over his, her thigh brushing against his arousal. The heat from him flashed through her.
In those dark hours of the early morning when night still held them in its grip, she wanted to take him inside of her and make him remember he was here now and that whatever visited his dreams from time to time was but a memory. A corner of her mind, the one that kept her heart well and protected, had something to say. But for now, she didn’t care to hear. The want stretched inside and spread its wings. Full-fledged desire flew through her—a desire girded with a depth of feeling she couldn’t examine just now.
She rose up, shimmying out of her underwear as she did, and straddled him. In one motion, she tugged the t-shirt she wore up and over her head. It drifted down through the path of light and fell to the floor. His shaft was hot and hard against her through his briefs. She shifted her hips and pressed down briefly. She met his eyes, dark in the shadowed light. He lifted a hand, grazing the back of it against her belly and the soft curves of her breasts. Her breath caught, sensation spiraling through her at the brush of his touch. He flattened his palm in between her breasts, his thumb caressing a nipple as he held her gaze. Not a word passed between them. Risa felt electrified.
She shifted up and tugged his briefs down, hooking them with her foot to pull them off his legs. She paused to look at him. He’d propped himself on his elbows when she moved. The hard planes of his chest were shadowed. His body was a sight to behold—all muscle and burnished skin catching the light that angled across the bed. His arousal was blatant. Though the intimacy she felt with him bordered on terrifying for her at moments, she gloried in it. With a soft smile, she leaned forward and took him in her mouth. His breath escaped in a groan.
She brought him fully into her mouth before dragging back up, savoring the salty taste of his skin. She angled to the side to stroke her tongue up and down. His head tipped back and his chest rose and fell with deep breaths. She cupped him in her hand, alternating between her mouth and hand, shivering when she tasted his pre-cum on her tongue.
“Risa…”
“Mmmm…” she hummed around his cock.
“Come here…please…”
She couldn’t find it in her to deny him. She also ached to have him inside of her. With a last stroke, she rose and straddled him again. He reached over to the nightstand where she knew he kept condoms. But now, tonight, she wanted to feel him fully.
“I’m on the pill,” she whispered.
He froze and turned his head back to her, his eyes inscrutable. “Risa, you don’t have to…”
“I know I don’t have to. But I’m on the pill. I have been for years. I’m clean. I can promise you that, and I know you are too. Because that’s how you are.
I just want to feel you…” She paused and shrugged, self-consciousness starting to flood through her.
Darren fell back against the pillows, his eyes boring into hers. “Don’t think,” he said softly. He tugged her forward, reaching a hand between them to stroke into her folds. She was drenched in desire and couldn’t help from pressing her hips into his hand, desperate for his touch. She bit her lip and groaned when he slid two fingers in a deep thrust inside, his thumb circling her clit. When his hand moved away, she whimpered and then gasped when he dragged the head of his cock back and forth through her slick moisture. In a swift move, he surged into her.
She threw her head back and arched up before sinking her hips onto him completely. He held her hips with one hand as she established a rhythm with him. Pleasure suffused her as he stroked in and out of her, filling her completely again and again and again. She raced to the delicious edge and tumbled over, her climax rippling through her. He gasped her name in a final surge and slid his palm up her back swiftly, tugging her against his chest. She tucked her face into his neck, trying to catch her breath. Their hearts thudded against each other. He threaded a hand in her hair and softly stroked through it.
Risa lay against Darren and wondered if she could keep her heart protected. It was becoming more and more apparent that she might have already lost the battle she’d been fighting. Darren simply slipped inside her heart before she knew it. And now, with the beat of his heart echoing against her ear, it felt so right to be with him. In this moment, she didn’t have it in her to wrestle with her feelings. The cool air caused her skin to pebble as the heat of their passion faded. She shifted, lifting up and off of him. Before she could move away, Darren tugged her close, molding her against his side and tucking the quilt around them. “Don’t go anywhere,” he said gruffly.
“I wasn’t planning to,” she protested.
“Oh, I didn’t think you were going somewhere literally. I didn’t want you to scoot away from me,” he said with a soft chuckle.
She couldn’t help but giggle and settled against him. Several moments later, his palm, which had been idly stroking her back fell still, and the rhythm of his breathing told her he’d fallen asleep. She smiled against his shoulder. This was the first time he’d fallen asleep with her after one of his nightmares. Her heart trilled at what that might mean.
Chapter 15
Darren pulled his jacket on before heading out to the parking lot. Summer weather had blown away with the winds of fall. A brisk wind gusted off the bay. Clouds coasted across the sky, shadows coming and going against the mountains as the clouds passed in front of the sun. He drove out of the parking lot to head home. His mind filled with thoughts of Risa, as appeared to be the case whenever he didn’t have something to keep him focused. She was back in Anchorage packing and working on the gallery planning. From what she told him, she’d be in Diamond Creek full time within the next few weeks. He could tell she was tired and working herself too hard between getting organized to move herself and the planning for the gallery.
He couldn’t help the spark of anticipation every time he thought about the reality of her being here every day. This was predictably followed with a flash of discomfort. Risa had somehow seeped through the cracks of his defenses. He could hardly stand to think about the other night when he woke after another nightmare. She didn’t shy away, yet she didn’t make much of it. With a touch and her mere presence, she’d wiped the slate of his mind clean. Instead of his usual pattern of lying awake, ruminating after he showered, he’d fallen into the spell she wove around them. Deep within, he was tiptoeing around what it meant that she’d stayed with him through to the other side of his nightmares. She’d managed what he thought was impossible—to take his mind to another place. Hope was sprouting in the cracks of his defenses. And damn if he knew what to do about it.
He shook his head to clear it and turned into his driveway to find Jared Winters climbing into his truck. Jared grinned and stepped back out when Darren pulled up.
“Hey there. Just stopping by to see if you want to go fishing sometime soon. We’re finally slowing down,” Jared said by way of greeting when Darren stepped out of his patrol car.
Darren leaned against the car and nodded. “Would love to. It’s been so busy this summer, I’ve only managed to get out fishing a few times. I haven’t seen you since Susie had the baby. Congratulations, by the way. I tried to stop by a few times, but missed you each time.”
Jared’s return smile was proud. “I got your messages. No worry there. Susie and Patrick are doing great. We’ve had so much company, I think she’s about ready to kick everyone out,” he said with a chuckle. “How’ve you been?”
Darren shrugged. “Busy but good. Just like you guys, summer keeps me running. My sister’s been staying with me for a bit.”
“I know. She introduced herself when I showed up. She tells me you’re dating Risa Holden,” Jared said with a sly smile.
Darren groaned and shook his head.
“Does that mean Hallie’s wrong and you’re not dating Risa?” Jared asked, arching a brow.
Darren sighed and rolled his eyes. “I didn’t say that. Just shaking my head about Hallie. I have been seeing Risa here and there,” he said, wishing he didn’t need to explain anything. It wasn’t that he was trying to hide anything, but more that he didn’t know how to define what they were doing.
Jared nodded slowly. “Hmm. Don’t suppose Trey knows you two are seeing each other?”
Darren groaned again. “Don’t know if he does. It’s not…” he trailed off, not sure how to explain what Risa was to him and bothered that it may appear he was trying to hide something when he wasn’t.
Jared’s eyes sharpened with a knowing look. “You look like a man who’s gone a step further than he planned to go. I’m guessing you haven’t seen Risa much since she lives in Anchorage, but somehow she’s gotten under your skin. Am I right?”
Darren rolled his head side to side, trying to ease the tension in his neck. He didn’t see Jared too much, but he was a good friend. It wouldn’t hurt to bounce this off of him. He flushed thinking about it, but made himself talk anyway. “Under my skin is one way to put it. Honestly, I don’t know how the hell this happened. I met her and thought she was beautiful. Next thing I know, I’ve seen her a few times between here and Anchorage, and I can’t seem to keep my head straight. And before you go thinking I’ve been hiding something, I haven’t. We haven’t even seen each other all that much, it’s just…” She’s slipped right inside and you don’t even know what to do about it. You think you can keep her in a tidy corner, but you haven’t been able to since the day you met her. You are in deep. His mind taunted him.
Jared held his gaze. “Just what?”
Darren took a breath. Risa sauntered through his mind—her dark brown hair and eyes, her sensual mouth and lush body, her quick wit, her endearing combination of bold and reserved…and that vulnerable side to her she tried so hard to hide. If he let himself think about it, all he wanted was to be with her. The simple truth was he’d made a decision not to let that kind of intimacy into his life because it meant opening the door to his own heart and facing the potential that she’d see how broken he felt. But Risa…she walked right through his guard without even trying.
“I think I can answer my own question,” Jared said wryly.
Darren whipped his head up to find Jared eyeing him with a rueful grin.
“What do you mean?” Darren asked.
“I know that look because I’ve been there. Next question is what are you gonna do about it?”
Fear flashed through him. Before he could respond, Jared did. “Okay then, should I shut up about now?”
Darren’s brain kicked back in gear. “You don’t need to shut up. I need to get a grip.”
Jared shrugged. “Or maybe not. Maybe you’re getting in your own way.”
Jared was so close to the truth, it made Darren want to squirm. But he trusted Jared�
�s opinion, and he prided himself on not being a coward, so he held his gaze and took a breath. “Maybe so. Any suggestions?”
“Don’t think so hard. And don’t let a good thing pass you by because it seems more comfortable not to deal with it. I almost did, so I know the feeling.”
Jared’s words hit so close to home that Darren almost flinched. He considered the idea of Risa passing him by and felt hollow at the mere thought. He met Jared’s eyes and nodded slowly. “Okay. I’ll, uh, try not to do that.”
Jared grinned and pushed away from his truck. “So what’s a good day for fishing next week?”
“How about Wednesday?”
“I’ll call you the day before to confirm. Never know what the weather might do between now and then.”
Chapter 16
Risa hefted another box into the moving truck and brushed her hair out of her face. Ethan and Jack had made arrangements for her to share space in the delivery truck transporting inventory to Diamond Creek for the gallery. Her apartment was almost empty, and she was exhausted. She trudged back upstairs and did a quick walk through to see if there were any leftover boxes. When she came back into the living room, Ethan was leaning against the wall, looking immaculate and dapper in a crisp white shirt and navy slacks. She felt dusty and dirty in comparison in her torn jeans and faded t-shirt, her hair tugged into a messy ponytail.
“Hello there,” Ethan said before wagging his finger at her. “You’re not supposed to be carting boxes around. That was the point of us hiring the moving crew. There’s an entire crew of strong, sexy men to carry things for you. I show up and they tell me you won’t listen to them.”